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not your lawyer. listen to me yap on @mic_dicta.

447 Following   14,727 Followers   16,056 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/10/11


Back at it again with the boys!!! And also one girl https://t.co/Z6bJYxEmrYNo straws no masters @DariaButGay Omg dido has that one!!!This is the most Cancer Season shit ive ever seen in my life https://t.co/oZPY5WgWTN @LLW90210 That’s the proofing drawer .... @LLW90210 @eponawest @knifecoyote @spindlypete @amandamull @alyssakeiko @VoxPVoxD @AllenVentano @Bibliobabble 3rd b… https://t.co/Jrx3AFPp4i
7/17
2018
Growing my armpit hair out before the bar exam and calling it a playoff beardhttps://t.co/ZEzbbxnoUg
Retweeted by hell woodsFeet: blistered Thighs: chafed Upper lip: sweaty Wow I love Chicago in the summerlot going on here https://t.co/lEaaQkL9TQ @CONNORisSWEET ThanksThe bagel store lady told me the bagel store is BYOB bc I guess I look like someone she thought would like to know that @SquiersLaura Love you!!!!!this graphic is very funny https://t.co/riDK1ej72C
Retweeted by hell woods @eponawest Ty!!!!!! It dried politely that day @AllezLesBoulez @ldrinkh20 Adam sweatie its canon that I dont listen to mic dicta and never have @ldrinkh20 It's the only podcast I listen to and its perfectThe plan? Pilot a mini submarine built from spare rocket parts into an empty cave to prove that it theoretically co… https://t.co/dFQ4HYyAJh
Retweeted by hell woods @BrandyLJensen Oh nnowhen I tell a friend she needs to stop picking guys who want intimacy without obligation https://t.co/HKmjFMTFAs
Retweeted by hell woods @sarahsolfails What lolThe toll to hang out in my house is that you have to tell me how good and pretty dido is about 40 times @CONNORisSWEET Proud of my two kingsShow me the lie https://t.co/pYTYt3b23q @twolinepass George McPhee is not a smart man @MitchellCares Good morning then @nycsouthpaw I'm so sorryThat's right https://t.co/sy6oDsvYApA poop is the booger of the ass. Goodnighthey @antoni https://t.co/IecMsT4y01The laguna beach art dealer lady on the new sacha baron cohen show is my personal hero @rrraygun YUCKMiller high lighter https://t.co/UbX97SuVxw
7/16
2018
@torqpenderloin #drowned @AllezLesBoulez @aud_bowler @n_suite1 When Audrey's in it I call it a stink tank @ryanaboyd Get em while they're hot @aud_bowler @n_suite1 Nate go inWelcome to college football sundayhttps://t.co/nggQ6b8WsqME: please show me the posts in the order that they were made COMPUTER: thats too hard. heres some tweets i think are good. Do you like this
Retweeted by hell woods @banebutwoke LmfaoTwitter, 2006: what if we made a microblogging website where people could connect with others all around the globe… https://t.co/Uxzlbvn18pThank you @jack for organizing my timeline exclusively by prioritizing my mutual follower’s horny faves on selfies… https://t.co/WhoZochYDA @CONNORisSWEET More like Nate BronzeI can’t deal with extra time because I really have to take a dump #FrancevsCroatia @ggooooddddoogg This is a Croatia slander free zoneHats off to the crew filming the France celebrations near the Eiffel Tower who have to use every camera angle in th… https://t.co/V1luBSnmZrI’ve received as many as two compliments on my hair tonight and I’m nigh unstoppableMore 👏 women 👏 war criminals 👏👏👏👏 https://t.co/aCeodRKfSsyeah i got double Ds (dehydration and depression)
Retweeted by hell woods @batmans_robyn @rorystrahanmauk YesssIn grand theft auto 9/11ing a building is a misdemeanor offense
7/15
2018
@AllenVentano The reply guys have become scared of me which is good @tresdessert Would it smellI spend a lot of time thinking about what would happen if every single zit you had popped at one time. Would it hur… https://t.co/ZIaDFNrbB6kingdom hearts 3 looks sick https://t.co/u0lPk2jezl
Retweeted by hell woodsrory and christina are watching this and openly weeping at the beauty of two hearts merging and sacrificing your li… https://t.co/VEfvDAjP74
Retweeted by hell woodsLmao how am I just seeing this for the first time today @floozyesq https://t.co/MRSSV1G9jr
Retweeted by hell woods @SteveDallas_Esq LMAOMe, extremely concerned: it’s not fair that all the anime bosses get POWERS and you don’t @rorystrahanmauk: that’s… https://t.co/kiyDEhNJ6JThe battle music is too intense for a tag team mission with fuckin Donald DuckWatching my roommate play kingdom hearts and having a panic attack. Why is their hair so sharpBIG MOOD https://t.co/MnCfxgjVjI
Retweeted by hell woods @cocksailor Finally a real answer @isamuel @chrissyteigen Chrissy: listen my tweets are way better than Ian's @swearsayer Never come back to my house again @swearsayer Astrology podcast whenI only tweet for @chrissyteigen who has never followed me or faved any of my tweets. Maybe someday though @swearsayer Retrograde has been fuckin with me too solidarity sisMy tweets get worse when im sad, happy, or bored. They're bad all the time folks why do you follow me @victoriaxxviii The chromatics one is soooo good thoBetter than the original don’t at me https://t.co/xufbi0cAvR @lexilafleur Get his ass lexiRetweet this cowardsI'm not a teen, but I am an ally of the teen community.
Retweeted by hell woodsI know there’s a lot of news but I’m rarely not thinking about this image and i wanted to share https://t.co/YRfU8rS71R
Retweeted by hell woodsI can’t wait for one of my sisters to have a child so I can buy them a onesie that says like An AUNT Is Like My Mom… https://t.co/gZmZpsP3YS @ramsincanon @aud_bowler Friendship is wonderfulHappy birthday to my little wife @aud_bowler who I will be having a double wedding with when we get married to a co… https://t.co/vAONHwc2B9
7/14
2018

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