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Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @FutureHasbeen Somewhere in Los Angeles

Cocktails, misadventures and bad jokes. he/him

858 Following   1,098 Followers   65,459 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/24/13
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMThis is a bad omen. Onion never misses.
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMAs you’d expect.
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMWelcome to exactly the problem with the Lincoln Project. Looking to destroy the Postal Service as a service and con…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @dylmdav I’m genuinely surprised to see “we don’t care about young voter outreach” written out so blatantly. @stefapie Child me: Wow, that’s wild that the Egyptians used pictures to express complex thoughts. That’s so crazy.… up artists and garbage men should switch names.
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM
this you?
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMthis doesn’t look appealing at all!
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMLook the important thing to remember through all this is that someone tried to cancel Genghis Khan yesterday.
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMWhite hat hackers draw attention to vulnerabilities in computer systems. Black hat hackers violate computer securit…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMYou ever just think about South Park Wario
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMTwitter needs to get rid of checkmarks, which just serve as ambiguous status symbol for a select few, and adopt MyS…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @VK_HM This is Cuphead to me. @KevKoeser @jcast1337 The Hot Pie Chronicles!still thinking about the cardboard tiki bar someone in my neighborhood cat group made for their cat 🗿🍹
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMFinally!
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMWhen I die, I will leave this account to random people whose job will be to tweet grim "damn remember Marlon Anders…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMThe green lounger looks empty so I’m going to say Mario was only a *slightly* terrible brother and asked him to tak…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMThat second drink with a green straw tells you everything you already know. Either Luigi took the photo— —Or Mario…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM
re: the 1924 Klan tussle: The team's QB and others threw potatoes at them
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMit's not even close 1. Golden Tate jumps into Michigan State band 2. Notre Dame football team helps beat the Klan…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMMy son just looked at the television and said "Daddy, do you think these rioters will register to vote?" He's a 46…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @MBCnotNBC Kamala doesn’t learn anyone’s name, she just calls them fuckface.
@JordanUhl People think Kennedy is such an empty suit that it shows up in the word cloud. Nice. @EcstasyOfGoble Lost it at Mink Bisque.lmao the pollsters compiled word clouds for markey & kennedy. some standouts for kennedy: entitled, young, opportu…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMA Marvel Comics stamp from the past that I wish the US Post Office would issue for real.
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @EcstasyOfGoble Oh man, my dad has this.This a capital strike - when a business withholds its resources/investment to pressure labor or government into giv…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMBREAKING: Hillary Clinton calls for abolishing landlords
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @gerrymaravilla “BEST IN ENTERTAINMENT, Inc”"If we are required to not illegally exploit workers we are taking our ball and going home"
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @Karatloz @GrahamB47 @VK_HM @dennisbhooper I need this. @GrahamB47 @VK_HM @dennisbhooper Seriously though, I rewatched the Errol Flynn Robin Hood last month and it’s frequ… @GrahamB47 @VK_HM @dennisbhooper At the risk of coming off like a Hollywood lib, the inevitable next Robin Hood sho… Ilhan Omar just thoroughly beat back a primary challenger 2) Eliot Engel—who conspired w Republicans to lead th…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMI admire the Sega marketing team who got saddled with these adorable Game Gear games but decided to go 100 percent…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMHigh comedy
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @Srirachachau Out...side?sorry I was told Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar were vulnerable and on the verge of being primaried? weird
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM
Can’t wait to power my future home with forbidden Butterfingers
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @coopercooperco @dylmdav Kiss my inner circle.Tony Kanal after he broke up with Gwen Stefani
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @Srirachachau Wait a sec... BIN LADEN [Folds tweet like a Mad Magazine] BIDEN Holy shit. @Srirachachau Should have gone with the ultimate bad guy, Idi Amin.the 2020 democratic ticket
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMproud to be the guy that everyone is tweeting at about joe biden's framed HAGAR THE HORRIBLE strip. i think i can s…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @deliciousmalk @jake_poops VP nominee Susan Rice and 90 days of Benghazi. The mind reels.Remember that almost none of these “never Trump” conservatives were ever anything other than pro-Trump. They absolu…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMafter nationwide protests he chooses a prosector who locked parents up for truancy and denied an incarcerated trans…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMtruly, we have entered the "cop starts breakdancing" era of politics
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM.@MayaRudolph congrats
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMBREAKING: Biden’s VP nominee is, you guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMWhat a reply 😂😂😂
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMHappy pandemiversary, everybody.
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @TalkingHat Genuine lol at the Idaho-Utah-Arizona-California hook. @TalkingHat @Spice__Weasel More like Dela-where the h*ck is that?Plus D.C., and technically Connecticut but I was one at the time and have no memory of it. @Carolineoncrack @Disneyland Same. I got an annual pass about three weeks before shutdown and Disney’s extending th…’s moby
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @KevKoeser Well shit; gotta get on that. @KevKoeser Corporate’s back?! @Srirachachau and I are currently debating where in continuity the Twin Peaks Georgia Coffee ads fall. learned one of the guys behind Hitchbot created an “art critic robot” and I’ve never been more certain that Ph… sincerely love to see it
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM
This has generally been the mood in New Mexico regarding MLG, but there's always time for Biden to do a repeat of '…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMYou listen to cool music every day but play Mambo No. 5 one time and Spotify is like "Your number one artist this y…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMReally hoping this takes off with the Qanon people
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @leonsaintj She mentions she’s on parler in her bio, so she’s a racist loon.Just remembered this absolute masterpiece of NBC promo art. #GraphicDesignIsMyPassion @kenklippenstein Thought you’d appreciate this update: about the absolutely seismic effect this one pic had on online communication
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @zandywithaz 3D-printer-ass shoes. @brigitalgetdown I don’t know about craziest, but the greatest shoe to ever be on tv... right now at the thought of the conference commissioners debating over email whether they should have a co…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMThe official Mortdecai Twitter account re-emerged this summer after five years of silence. Why was this not front-p…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM*sees a very smooth rock* me: nice rock my brain: put it in your mouth me: no?????
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMthe thing about Mads Mikkelsen that makes him so funny is 100% Krusty the Klown's Lord Autumn-Bottom Pie-in-the-Fac…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMI hope all the ONLY BRAVE PATRIOTS WILL RETWEET THE PLAYERS accounts from an hour ago are excited to have joined a labor movement
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLMHelp, my [110NCAA] student-athletes [18M, 19M, 20M, 21M, 22M] have unionized.That thing where after a time jump a character has shaved his head and grown a beard to indicate how serious the situation is. @VK_HM To be honest, Teddy is a problematic fave of mine; mostly because he seems like someone who came from a stea… @sleepguava @coopercooperco Beep bloop, human did he die?
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @sleepguava This is only half a joke, but in this instance I read it in the voices of the backing vocalists on “Hit The Road, Jack.” @samtrayter @PodcastTheRide Jason saying the whole park was Tiny Fuppets broke me.
what’s the 8,380th-most cutting insult you’ve ever heard? for me it was the time i was working at radio shack, we d…
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM @thisjoeiknow Very strong nominee. @DameScottWard @GrumpyinBoston @pareene Looking at this still, I can hear the confused sounds of people falling to their death.Not sure I’d put Homer At The Bat at the same level as the other three; but I can’t figure out what would replace i… @dennisbhooper Same thing with his longtime editor. @sofyasays Who is that frightful man on your screen?!Going on Pornhub and typing "I think you may have won the internet today!" in the comments under each video
Retweeted by Ⓜ️ichael Darling BLM