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Vulpine. Lovely nightmare. Fleshy lump of stardust. Lover of words. Disgusting/beautiful/unsteady.

763 Following   1,466 Followers   39,731 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/21/09

@WhoseClue They’re tortilla chips 🤣 we’ve got chilli for dinnerThree guesses which mummy feels guilty about not getting a pumpkin in time... actually they’ve turned out quite nicely 💕 @grumpyoldmum I think they’re adorable!Documenting my sweet little skull rolls (to have with dinner) before they are warped beyond all recognition by the… I’d had the foresight in 2007 when I named the cat “Melchett” to realise that in 13 years time a tyrannical da… @ManOnThe100 The translucency suggests a shed skin, rather than a corpse so there might be an even more giant mantis out there 😉
@mangmangmang I believe in you (also I just assume that like me everyone else would be driven mad by it and would n… @mangmangmang Perhaps turn it off at the fuse box before tinkering with a screwdriver this might be a tomorrow job @mangmangmang Is there a screw in the top/bottom? Or even a twiddly thing that holds the bulb that can unscrew? @daniel_barker It was like actual magic @daniel_barker I once did a really wanky mixology class (it is in fact where I first met Tomm IRL, it was our colle… @PeteOlympian @GinBroguesHats Horrible isn’t it?! @thebrainofchris @FrogCroakley It just doesn’t bear thinking about. Happy birthday indeed @PeteOlympian Oh Pete you don’t have to, just know that it is...really something @FrogCroakley CompletelyMy favourite infant school roles were: “Mary Mary, Quite Contrary” where I watered some plants as I sang the nurser… and Joseph were never speaking parts at my school so I always got cast as either the narrator or angel gabriel… @FarmerKari @GinBroguesHats Yeah I do not like it at all @mhaswell It’s a new level of mad for Kanye, it really is @thebrainofchris Oh god shoehorning a completely inconsequential memory of listening to a song together so as to ma… @GinBroguesHats Terrifying, palAnd the flickering and vanishing in a cloud of dust and glitter. Honestly. I cannot fathom any scenario where this…’s parents both died a couple of years ago and I am SO careful of the things I say when I am making assumptions… imagine the level of psychological torment that this must bring. Imagine thinking it’s ok just to bring back… @GinBroguesHats I’m very sorry up to have to reverse engineer why people are talking about dead dad holograms and then WATCHING THE MOST MO…
Looks like the app has solved that panicky glitch it had before selfie for u
Amazing scenes tonight outside the office of Walsall North's Tory MP Eddie Hughes. Eddie voted to let the vulnerab…
Retweeted by Smashleigh @grumpyoldmum @TSchmidthansen @oschmidthansen @MrHansenTeacher @Torben_SH I am a bit worried that Tallie will never… @grumpyoldmum @TSchmidthansen @oschmidthansen @MrHansenTeacher @Torben_SH That seems sensible. Someone should proba… @grumpyoldmum @oschmidthansen @MrHansenTeacher @Torben_SH TELL ME MORE!!Mum and baby protest larks @hurricane_ros Regrettably notOk she’s now got these and a dinosaur snow suit so when I collect her in ten minutes that kid will be living my version of her best lifeTHEY FLASH THEY FUCKING FLASHThey are frozen branded but a) it is very discreet and b) she loves “frodins”Ok they are 2 sizes too big for her but I am in love with them so she’s getting them. Feet grow. @CRREdwards Apparently so!Cannot believe it has taken this long for Twitter to realise that Sacha Baron Cohen and Jack Black are hot. Honestl… @JonathanPieNews I had this correspondence with him on Friday, there have been local protests off the back of it an… @sarahdal My favourite ever dream was Adam Driver delivering a lecture to a small group of us on “the artistic and… @alexhern Oh no, don’t worry she’s shit at it (see below for the one pain au choc I just couldn’t rescue) dreamed last night that I was part of Joe Biden’s team and my sole purpose was to reassure him that he was going… @alexhern We buy the jus-roll stuff for baking with Tallie ALL the time: she gets the fun of baking something but I… @iain_watson Poster boy for the puce-faced finger waggers
They’d have a fucking job anyway the M&S in Walsall has been shut since 2018The same bloke who just said “no” to my email asking if he’d feed our local kids is now suggesting M&S meal deals h… @fionchadd @FrogCroakley That is really interesting! I think as Thalassa is Greek it might be a coincidence (frog w… @PeteOlympian Lining itself I don’t know to be honest, I can tell you that the cost of everything all in via dm if you like? @PeteOlympian Lining the chimney and putting on a cowl, yeah. I don’t know how DIY it would be, maybe do-able on a… @PeteOlympian Oh yes the person dying at the hands of the cherry picker will almost certainly not be meOH GOD LOOK AT IT WOBBLE have changed my mind it looks janky as fuck I think someone might die @NuclearTeeth Exactly @NuclearTeeth Imagine considering tofu adventurous. IMAGINE.This is the most American tweet I have ever seen. This is why they think salads and desserts are interchangeable. we think that the man will let me have a ride on the cherry picker? I very much want to. @hurricane_ros “Oh whoops this person I am fighting with has passed out, best keep applying pressure just in case s… @hurricane_ros Lordy. @sarahdal I should clarify that this is not his yurt and that we’re the yurt owner here he would very much not be in it @GinBroguesHats No he is my sweet prisonerAlso me, every ten seconds: “please do not leave the front door open I don’t want the cat ending up on the road” Th… sir like to take tea in the drawing room? No? @GinBroguesHats He’s a house cat so he’s not allowed to enjoy the fire outside. Forbidden. Banned.The new stove might actually be fitted today all being well so YESSSSS I AM HAVING A FIRE TONIGHT! Also the old sto… @daniel_barker Nah I like not getting abuse from people that definitely spit when they shout @aifendragon That’s the ticket @aifendragon Look the correct answer here was “no you are full of youthful exuberance, your cells are still plump a… sweep is coming today to start prepping for the installation of the new wood burner on Thursday if anyone h…
I would like it to be known that the best bit in k-dramas are the near inevitable Joseon flashback scenes where all… @altydrycleaners Their names are either “frog ribbit and hop” or “holly, holly and holly”. Not sure where we are going to land.Shhhhh don’t tell anyone but Tallie has three little tiny pet frogs look at these charming wretched little things g…, kiddo, same @PeteOlympian I’ll say nada @AvoidedDrowning Mate I was so cross and I just went for it @hurricane_ros (He has now literally just sent me TWO detailed responses, one of which is a mad copy and paste, the… @hurricane_ros Wouldn’t mind but I FUCKING DID!’re getting this one too, mates, sorry @PeteOlympian Thank you! I got all riled up I did something I’m really proud of today and I’m sorry to bombard your timelines with it b… @Gurdo hi! I’m Ashleigh from the protest today - thank you for your reporting! I just wanted to follow up on Mike’s… @mish_rahman I was really proud to be a part of this today, Mish. Thank you, and see you WednesdayIf Gov say they have given councils money for #FreeSchoolMeals @WalsallCouncil should fund or where has the money g…
Retweeted by Smashleigh @Philip_Ellis Bloody hellTHREAD 1 Thanks to all who attended the #FreeSchoolMeals protests outside @WalsallCouncil today as we delivered a…
Retweeted by Smashleigh @altydrycleaners Rightly so @altydrycleaners Oh dear me. @PeteOlympian Incredible line, isn’t it?!Improvised a speech, lads. Got all riled up on the mic. Exhilarating.2020: arranging to meet up with your family at a protest to feed hungry kids #walsall #FreeSchoolMeals @PeteOlympian Not tooooooooo long to go then! I must sleep now, my sweet, but DM me the address at which you are isolating please xx
@PeteOlympian What absolute bollocks. I’m so sorry. When is your quarantine over? @PeteOlympian Oh bollocks, sorry pal. How are you feeling? I was going to ask if you wanted to drop in while you’re…
Retweeted by Smashleigh @PeteOlympian Oh shit are you Rona-d? @PeteOlympian For what it’s worth I think S2 is far superior to S1 @PeteOlympian No I liked old klaus much better, too. He’s still probably one of my preferred Hargreaves siblings, mind.