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I hand you a business card. Hilarious Video Gamer, it reads. You want to discard it, but pocket it to avoid offending me. You find it weeks later and cringe.

308 Following   4,313 Followers   38,444 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/23/12


G Mason: "The president ought not to have the power of pardoning b/c he may pardon crimes advised by himself." J M… https://t.co/crfz72BN8N
Retweeted by Green9090listen up females, you should write me thank you notes for retweeting you like jk rowling does
Retweeted by Green9090 @rnarlie It is a choiceMerlini plays Slay the Spire while queuing and is extremely bad at it @PublicKip https://t.co/ZSNNGxuwHD @thefakebevan I've been alone for months. The outside world means nothing to me. @rnarlie This sounds goodThe last time I played Dota was before Underlord came out.I've been teetering on the edge of getting back into Dota recently and I can already tell it's gonna get bad. @rnarlie You just described an entire infinite subspace of Tik Toks. @unormal Different kinds of memory! Analytic knowledge and procedural knowledge have literally nothing to do with o… https://t.co/mGsXcRtL6Y @PublicKip https://t.co/5trJYVIpR8The exact moment this country was finished was the first time a headline used the phrase “School Lunch Debt” and we… https://t.co/9dsspaOhiw
Retweeted by Green9090wintegral and drilivativeme: interact with 0 people? hermit?! me: ok maybe interact 1 people [gets exposed to disease immediately] me: ok 0 people
Retweeted by Green9090https://t.co/fEAe1dMVWf
Retweeted by Green9090Another beautiful day!! https://t.co/2wKWmArwmO
Retweeted by Green9090 @bombsfall Finally a chance to deploy this classic signature catchphrase https://t.co/xEJwauT5qE
Retweeted by Green9090My conspiracy theory is that time travel IS real & someone keeps trying to fix 2020 by changing something but every… https://t.co/IIM1wbsq89
Retweeted by Green9090These streamers are at Disney World, visited first aid last night for cough, shortness of breath, and severe vomiti… https://t.co/OKI1pZOWWe
Retweeted by Green9090 @tha_rami "Sweet rig, how much RAM has it got?" "32 jigs"I could literally not care less about the pronounciation of "GIF" (I just pronounce it with a Dutch 'G' and I'm don… https://t.co/TI9nMKY8qa
Retweeted by Green9090 @tha_rami Jigabytes @unormal Oof, terrifying. I hope everything turns out okay for you guys. Solidarity from someone who started showin… https://t.co/JXa0KWW3rEIncredibly depressing and super important https://t.co/xZ6hNJ5mA8
Retweeted by Green9090 @tinybaby @Cryptoterra Thin Wu Line
Retweeted by Green9090a lot of sellers for cheap print-on-demand stuff on amazon will photoshop their product into some stock image that… https://t.co/cHJfk25DLR
Retweeted by Green9090https://t.co/9kT7ERzHXX
Retweeted by Green9090In Jan. 2020, Taiwan had a racuous election, with wild conspiracy theories flying around about Prez Tsai, etc, whic… https://t.co/4pPwFDLUY7
Retweeted by Green9090https://t.co/4jJR0IGA6h
Retweeted by Green9090 @AquarIanmm Yeah. @AquarIanmm In decline, but still undeniably one of if not the most powerful country. If we start slipping hard out… https://t.co/YYCgg5HVqXGf trying to tell me about Will Smith's marriage finally corners me inside a drainpipe overlooking a 100 foot plumm… https://t.co/0g6yPycYhs
Retweeted by Green9090Cancel rent and mortgage payments now. https://t.co/k2tw4uPXNb
Retweeted by Green9090Luckily we have an election coming up so we have the opportunity to elect someone who will uh *checks notes* be mor… https://t.co/ZrhW8M7t8K @RaiSpellfang Oh, they're absolutely going to try. Good luck forcing the millions of terrified homeless people to t… https://t.co/CJqisjjK2HIt's also very scary to imagine what the US's response to flagging on the world stage will look like. When your cou… https://t.co/5dzIjxi6fv @RaiSpellfang It would be one thing if there really was a tradeoff between being able to make money and containing… https://t.co/8UBfBzQ0XG @RaiSpellfang That's a fantasy though. They can pretend it doesn't matter all they want but mass death is not good… https://t.co/P4sFGeyhDtSerious end of an empire shit. If everyone else has a normal open economy and the US is still in this shitty half o… https://t.co/T6w1zgA5CqThe US feels like it's in a situation it can't recover from. We closed long enough to deal significant economic dam… https://t.co/fkcvK7SxZgIncreasingly convinced that the global economy is going to shift radically over the next decade or so based on whic… https://t.co/Q55VfQE0lbWhy do some people give up on physical distancing amidst the pandemic? "a limitation in one's mental capacity to si… https://t.co/RyvmzcgMec
Retweeted by Green9090In an interview with the New York Times, Elaine Duke, a lifelong Republican who was acting secretary of homeland se… https://t.co/2vgpvPd0sV
Retweeted by Green9090
7/12
2020
@bombsfall Thank you, trusted online voiceAITA for mistranslating things between my (f 29) wife(f 28) and my mom to help them get along?… https://t.co/8IvXG7yvco
Retweeted by Green9090I love this game #DeadlyPremonition2 #NintendoSwitch https://t.co/9BseNp2NWt
Retweeted by Green9090obsessed with the preview that plays when you mouse over this youtube thumbnail https://t.co/BRX9f6vr24
Retweeted by Green9090 @wokestdaddy I read this as biopussy at first @wokestdaddy Imagine having the internet and the best way you can think of to look at tits is a non-porn physical magazine. @CommodoreKD People don't know this!It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve. @duncTTV @melliow It's because the red scare is back in fashion, anything associated with Russia or China is a Big No No to liberals.Every once in a while you see a movie that’s so completely your shit that it feels like it was made only with you i… https://t.co/jm8Qag8Hqd
Retweeted by Green9090 @PirateHearts I happened to be looking for something to do when I saw this tweet and went in totally blind. Great r… https://t.co/t1I6VucfFW @Nelsormensch Halfway through the episode this dude is going to be asking if he's turtle-y enough for the turtle clubThe new Unsolved Mysteries is absolutely wild. I'm utterly baffled by how this is actually two different people. https://t.co/3akmeHOfaJ
Retweeted by Green9090Goya didnt even start selling products outside of New York City, much less Cuba, until long after Ted Cruz's grandp… https://t.co/vk8bejdB0u
Retweeted by Green9090unbelievable cake https://t.co/R2IkHmcYmA
Retweeted by Green9090BREAKING: President Trump commutes sentence of longtime friend Roger Stone - White House
Retweeted by Green9090
7/11
2020
@unormal Can't wait for the collab between US Army Esports and KITKAT Gaming.Control (2019) https://t.co/ahQWC7VFgZThis is my favourite picture on the entire Internet https://t.co/L5vLwltxCS
Retweeted by Green9090Maybe the single most toxic modern idea in US politics is the notion of red and blue states as fixed, ideologically… https://t.co/TAMeW9T9jY
Retweeted by Green9090Teen Who Died From Coronavirus Probably Had Undiagnosed Old Age https://t.co/lvgp31sAWK https://t.co/PPONt5qFvE
Retweeted by Green9090It's impossible to overstate how insane it is that Democrats looked at Trump and decided it was worth subverting th… https://t.co/mqePmgqwAt
7/10
2020
JUST IN: California will become the first state to sue the Trump admin. over guidelines issued this week that bar i… https://t.co/bhZoKAfZpw
Retweeted by Green9090Swedish pizza https://t.co/UB3sDWDL5s
Retweeted by Green9090When you spend $100 on a toy to keep ypur cat occupied. https://t.co/54bPQTunTc
Retweeted by Green9090They’ve turned off the cameras around her cell to give her privacy in this difficult time https://t.co/O5Shk7nzp6
Retweeted by Green9090lol https://t.co/iSxs5fYWCN
Retweeted by Green9090vote! <3 https://t.co/NvbGOXhH7x
Retweeted by Green9090wait, so.... .... wait. https://t.co/HMIY1XKQma
Retweeted by Green9090 @Alex_Kack @SG___96 @WonderWaage @proustmalone Wait so what do you think an ad isSo a teacher tests positive. Do they quarantine for 14 days? Are those sick days? Who pays for them? Will they stil… https://t.co/j3vf3xR7BC
Retweeted by Green9090https://t.co/7TP416lZ8f
Retweeted by Green9090https://t.co/kA7UMu4Mmz
Retweeted by Green9090 @ptychomancer Not a cell phone in sight, just people living in the momentWe need to go back https://t.co/5BBYy0Qquh
Retweeted by Green9090Turns out Discords image upload algorithm identifies floppy gun man as a naked human and wont upload on regular cha… https://t.co/5JDIQDRok2
Retweeted by Green9090
7/9
2020
https://t.co/ZCSHYOBdsi https://t.co/ZoUATzInsK
Retweeted by Green9090And in case you want the data adjusted for population size, here’s what that data would look like scaled up for eac… https://t.co/osKWzYtqHB
Retweeted by Green9090 @Green9090LP Proverbs 14:31 NIV "He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to… https://t.co/BaMpXrlFQO
Retweeted by Green909040 days of protest in a row. Coverage might have decreased, but the protests are still going. This is NYC right n… https://t.co/3WUrTPqaSV
Retweeted by Green9090You're entitled to believe what you want but you can absolutely go fuck yourself if you think your beliefs entitle… https://t.co/ddHrgXod1UThat whole thread is wild. It's the barest fucking premise for just putting religious employers unambiguously above the law.Sorry, my belief in God entitles me to *checks Bible* put the old and sick out on the street. https://t.co/0fTalh6qybMy son be fakiiiiing 😂😂 https://t.co/Pz7kbCyAjE
Retweeted by Green9090This is a poem about America. https://t.co/QsaCb3GwVS
Retweeted by Green9090Now I’m no award winning millionaire author with a reach of 14 odd million but I know how to tell a story in 2 pict… https://t.co/OlieGv1XTx
Retweeted by Green9090I ... can't stop watching this. https://t.co/9IeiIu5wAQ
Retweeted by Green9090I don’t speak Portuguese, could someone translate this headline for me??? https://t.co/aOXRjsmTUR
Retweeted by Green9090There are no good cops because good cops get fired. An officer choked a helpless civilian to death by shoving a p… https://t.co/IqOJ3eALjB“Sweden’s grim result — more death, and nearly equal economic damage — suggests that the supposed choice between li… https://t.co/Ib6PydspLu
Retweeted by Green9090
7/8
2020
@Jam_sponge Probably the same reason Mario says "threat neutralized" at the end of New Super Mario Bros levels https://t.co/bMrHZ4wUih
7/7
2020
9 days before the arrest of Ghislaine Maxwell: Steve Bing, Hollywood writer/producer, real estate mogul, close frie… https://t.co/eaCkO1IJOs
Retweeted by Green9090New ICE guidelines that international students may not take a fully on-line course load during the pandemic are abh… https://t.co/16ySvnuTXc
Retweeted by Green9090Liberals have absolutely no self-awareness. I got blocked after this lol. He never figured it out. https://t.co/PgWkhCdmMF @Bobbyb711 @Ramsteinrig @RobDenBleyker Yes I will bet you one million dollars that Trump wins because of people vot… https://t.co/0HkSzoegEN
7/6
2020

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