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Senior Editor at Paste Magazine. @paste_comedy, @pastegames, theme parks, Disney, travel, tech, music, wrestling, pinball, and more.

1,974 Following   4,823 Followers   72,826 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/2/08


shout out to my brother in law, who not only cooked an awesome chicken schnitzel tonight, but was entirely unfazed… https://t.co/L4ucK2XcAr @TreyIrby but the things Williams was good at wouldn’t get him over in that environment, and by ‘98 he wasn’t even… https://t.co/p8fl9vp6Ri @TreyIrby the one thing Williams had for him that Bossman didn’t was mystique. Traylor was coming off a miserable W… https://t.co/21pTE3LGqqbut yeah, hoping he’d win an amateur shoot tournament with barely defined rules is the worst plan to get a new tale… https://t.co/rD8u4hweMrwatched the Brawl for All ep of Dark Side of the Ring. Dr. Death is a personal fave and all-timer but even if they… https://t.co/Xm4bPZwFfx @thefilmcynic how could they forget 1st & 10, which started in like 1984hey I reviewed the final fantasy vii remake game https://t.co/BXMqesdD3I
4/10
2020
hey it’s a day so here’s another installment of Everyone Sucks at Smash featuring me and @helloannieblack https://t.co/UOrB6kmWQLshocked they aren't gonna shoulder through with fights in hot air balloons https://t.co/OKNyh4ooRc @SarraSedghi see I am the kind of person where when I hear that name I initially think independent wrestler Kylie R… https://t.co/lF3ceZqEoGsome billionaire needs to 1. donate a ton of money to help people struggling with COVID-19; 2. donate a ton of mone… https://t.co/kwJV6uf0zyFinal Fantasy VII Remake, the first part of a series that will update the classic for today's audiences, expands on… https://t.co/4uQTJ3EY0c
Retweeted by Garrett Martin @grmartin decent pay and a second life in commissions kept them in good insurance!
Retweeted by Garrett MartinI don't know what kind of health regimen those classic MAD Magazine guys were on but so many of them lived into their 90s.ah man. RIP Mort Drucker. you know his art even if you don't know his name.totally forgot to vote in this but my ballot just woulda been the first two albums plus "New York City Cops" so wha… https://t.co/ran8B3SjUhKFile, a team that produces signature quick-turn #investigative and accountability #journalism, is looking for an… https://t.co/OGGEUcCXKe
Retweeted by Garrett Martin @bigwestern has. fucking has. not had. ugh. @bigwestern probably better than friends though and that finale was unavoidable. the landscape had changed a ton since 2004.for a 10-year-old sitcom ending at a time when people can’t do anything but watch tv, I’ve heard remarkably little… https://t.co/szmIfi47I1 @SarraSedghi never played it but this looks like the greatest game ever made https://t.co/9HBYmwMPdYso hey: is NXT worth a watch this week? usually just delete it after a few weeks when it’s clear I won’t have time… https://t.co/1RB15gPzkGJericho just gave Suge D a new marketable gimmick, didn’t hewe’re about to find out that Moxley and Hager would kick back and listen to They’re All Gonna Laugh at You while driving from town to town @lppny yeah I record both every week but usually wind up just erasing NXT after a few days to free up space. might… https://t.co/hoIpIhBBCJ @lppny missing a great Dynamite so far.I am really digging this Britt Baker / Hikaru Shida match, and Jericho’s commentary is making it even better @JESnowden let’s make him president @MarisaKabas Oz
4/9
2020
took a little while due to internet mess but hey here's Everyone Sucks at Smash, Ep. 3. https://t.co/Zyiz69W8NJhanging with the boys after a hard day. (had to push a pig off the plaza `cuz she kept horning into the shot.) https://t.co/F5Zjl27zYJboz scaggs got a sweet flag https://t.co/ueyHhSOu5n @nickmaniwa @davidbix @MajorWFPod this is the only WWF/WWE toy I have bought since 1990the fun and somehow surprising thing about starting a daily youtube show is there’s a new episode... everyday. here… https://t.co/7NTpWhj7Ue
Retweeted by Garrett Martinjust realized I could've used "talk about the bashin'." dammit.talk about the fighting (you should read this to the tune of "Talk About the Passion" https://t.co/DsgCdPw3TP @colettearrand and yeah also he gives me an excuse to say "the pink and black attack" every time my wife wears pink and black @colettearrand in terms of making it look somewhat real and believable, in terms of making every action seem logica… https://t.co/2CbXuMqWAc @colettearrand I can't think of anybody else who's a better all-around in-ring performer. maybe Kobashi or Misawa b… https://t.co/LkOEuKKsIW @PeterSciretta @kitra @OrdAdventures look at Orange Bird acting all innocent back there @kitra @OrdAdventures @PeterSciretta what did E.T. and Gizmo do to Artoo?this little video is good https://t.co/0Lnh7VhaU1Biden feels about as real as Max Headroom right now @melshocker Smiley kinda has a Cheney vibe, if Cheney was physically able to smile @atomic_elbow @ourcityburning how is "East Bound and Down" not on therethe time has come for Prez https://t.co/WJz0wYHTMbThere’s nothing like the ATL. https://t.co/iGXyS21yeH
Retweeted by Garrett Martin @davidbix this is fantastic but as somebody who avoided wwe like the plague that decade why is Ric wearing a DX shirt @bombsfall @ZwiezenZ it’s the movie I watched in its entirety thinking it starred Margot Robbie, only to be shocked when the credits rolled @dialacina @tha_rami @LawofTD legit disgusted by all physical violence perpetrated upon these innocent souls. the m… https://t.co/ocMFHAdokj @dialacina @Beatdown_City hmmmmmmmmUFC running events from a private island in international waters is some straight-up supervillain shit
4/8
2020
@dialacina of coursewho wouldn’t https://t.co/x3P9b1njBdhere's me jabbering my way through the first 20 minutes of the Resident Evil 3 remake, which is almost like real li… https://t.co/PwS0b9ZjceYouTube just lets any moron schedule a "premiere"--even for videos that absolutely nobody will watch. episode two o… https://t.co/vXogHqy1ePBastion is three bucks on the Switch right now which is one heck of a deal https://t.co/WKsOSOWfUq @IanRickert he was good in Freaks and GeeksWhat does the name "William Van Landingham" make you think of @BondJohnBond @asterios yeah and it's super cheap right now for anybody who doesn't have itjust noticed the laser is also a bananaYoshi has never been as serious about anything before as he is about firing this laserjesus christ, who gave Yoshi a laser https://t.co/2ljekfXoWahttps://t.co/BAI9gKLhn4 https://t.co/xXUyZ6rKAqthe most ridiculous thing is when online weirdos argue that this game about ecoterrorists trying to stop a corporat… https://t.co/ugqYqdQ6jslegitimately surprised at how much I’ve enjoyed Final Fantasy VII Remake. proves that it’s not just nostalgia that… https://t.co/3FdopNyIwo
4/7
2020
I very intelligently decided to release three different game videos today because flooding the market is not a real… https://t.co/iuda2acwlE @mhcovill not me but paste has a thing somewhere. none of it really sounds my speed. https://t.co/ySiBkPt6cO @mhcovill yes but tv. on your phone. @mhcovill quick bites. they're quick bites, Max. @natesmithsjokes @helloannieblack ha some day! slammed with all kindsa games right now but that would be fun. @natesmithsjokes @helloannieblack uh hmm. we probably do some cusses and stuff?also we're ironing out the wrinkles on this concept on a daily basis, so treat this one like a very rough pilotHere it is: Everyone Sucks at Smash, episode one. a new daily youtube show where @helloannieblack and I play Super… https://t.co/pBCeEoDljQI love this headline but also hate it because Brian Kemp doesn't even have the decency to be a fun redneck. nothing… https://t.co/PB2aEH3irWIs this church gonna whoop Jesus’s ass? https://t.co/PU6kbdhc2m
Retweeted by Garrett MartinI had a real bad talk radio addiction throughout the '00s and into the '10s and I kind of write about it a bit in r… https://t.co/BTKuqdR6kKfinal fantasy vii remake is good because it lets cloud sit alone at an empty bar while jazz quietly plays in the ba… https://t.co/vDhicEyMBB @aarontrites finally digging in to Tomb of Dracula and it's gorgeous. already loved Howard and his Dr. Strange but… https://t.co/qR924BNGxtSuicide opening for The Cars at the Boston Garden, 1980. The Cars' hometown audience does not appreciate the great… https://t.co/tUvBOYsWox
Retweeted by Garrett Martinwho can blame ‘em https://t.co/zDtBJEgHWyWatch us play a half hour of Final Fantasy VII's Chapter 3. https://t.co/lqBlj9GuDn https://t.co/fej0ZbmJMPGene Colan falls into that territory where everybody who knows his work knows he’s great but still somehow feels un… https://t.co/4qa9FwxIWR @BrandonEsWolf it’s actually pretty good! https://t.co/sBifAVi8yc @jasonimms it’s great but it’s probably too connected to Biden nowso can anybody make a quibiwhat wrestling company would make the best quibi show @scottgairdner holy shit that’s where quibi’s name comes from isn’t it @Papapishu also everything that's in my bar @Papapishu the turbografx i bought in 1990 @davidbix i mean execution is what bret was known for, that's like saying somebody was a better pure striker than the undertakerbest member of 3MB is the only one to not win the big belthit Heath Slater’s music for the readymade feud @Lesmocon it’s like how superhero comics going postmodern coincided with its collapse as a genuinely mainstream mediumhopefully that blew some 12-year-old wrestling fans’ minds enough to send them down a lifetime search for The Good Shitbut yeah hopefully Johnny Karate runs in for the saveput bray in charge of the company and never let him wrestle a normal match again @maura Al Hayes with the “promotional considerations paid for by the following”they have a lake of reincarnation in the performance center @Mannyflux91 no I don’t watch wwe
4/6
2020

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