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499 Following   220 Followers   3,639 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/29/08


Hey neighbor @JustinTrudeau! I see you over there. Your side of the fence is looking sexier than ever. What’s the l… https://t.co/3tu0oCnaHt
6/2
2020
@DanLamothe I know Mason. That is not a little neck. @spy_dot Perhaps then they aren’t your favorite men?
5/31
2020
If you always choose pride over patience, humiliation over humility, and control over kindness…then maybe your t-sh… https://t.co/izKV68POes
5/23
2020
Alexa define pandering.
5/22
2020
@TheWinkApp Blurg
5/21
2020
What the crap @moment? You just gonna have zero customer service?
5/20
2020
The back of my @moment case (6 months old) started pulling away from the edges so it looked like trash. I pulled th… https://t.co/8ZRQUVK9Lc
5/19
2020
Ok. Good talk. https://t.co/yaIlr15o2W
5/18
2020
@moment https://t.co/b7NCvmyjzt @moment iPhone 11 Pro Max. Pre ordered it - so decembwr? I think.
5/17
2020
@phatrey @moment Lowered expectations?The texture on the back of my @moment phone case is looking kinda ratty around the edges. What’s the cure for that?
5/15
2020
@Schlage_Locks @TheWinkApp Let’s talk about the money I’ve already spent on a device you said was supported and now… https://t.co/m5QLDZnZu1
5/11
2020
@Amtrak agent #1 - we can’t do that. Me - argues my point Agent - we can’t do that Me - what’s your name and wh… https://t.co/VjqcCXHOD7
5/9
2020
Well @TheWinkApp you can 100 percent bite me and if you don’t fix this @Schlage_Locks I will never buy another product from you ever.
5/8
2020
Moving this convo. 55/57.
5/4
2020
@Justin_Stangel @richardmarx Same. @StormTrackBrian Upper level twist is my finishing move in wrestling. @StormTrackBrian I once dated a girl named Lake Dawnville. It didn’t work out. @StormTrackBrian Debris ball was my band name in high school.
4/13
2020
@MagnoliaAdelle https://t.co/lmW0MNGl9C
4/4
2020
Somebody check on Tom Waits.
4/3
2020
Is it too late for Fauci2020?
3/25
2020
Fingers crossed for losing the freedom to wear pants. https://t.co/58U6g3C73y
3/22
2020
@MagnoliaAdelle ~
3/21
2020
@DiGiorno Bob Saget
3/13
2020
1 photo/day 3,373: the magnolias have been lovely but those cherry blossoms are getting ready to explode all over t… https://t.co/rBDa5P22rV
Retweeted by Neal Wilkinson
3/10
2020
I have some solid napping skills.
3/6
2020
@MagnoliaAdelle No. No we don’t.
3/5
2020
@_davidtucker_ #yes
3/4
2020
@darrah_elaine @Northeastern They had a “we wanna fly you here to visit” mistake and had to retract it. Prob an hon… https://t.co/l8BwZIUl0V
2/29
2020
Wondering why @northeastern did that to my kid today…
2/28
2020
@SonosSupport I am not at home. I will do that tonight. This is not the first problem I’ve had - I just haven’t com… https://t.co/hFNo04yEfI @SonosSupport iPhone app. @Sonos And if I add a song to a playlist on Apple Music… It takes forever for it to refresh in the Sonos app. Like… https://t.co/Q6bQbZKxJyOk @Sonos your search feature drives me nuts. I search for an album earlier and it came right up. Searched just now… https://t.co/LUlMPbHPRd
2/26
2020
So @getquip I don’t need any more toothpaste for a while BUT you only sent us 1 battery. How do I fix that?
2/24
2020
Same. https://t.co/EzngXXvVlX
2/22
2020
I can’t understand why @RetroNewsNow is retweeting current politics.
2/20
2020
@StormTrackBrian It’s only gonna snow on the grass? How do you weathermen make that happen???
2/8
2020
@ivfshan @AMCTheatres Kind of a sexist move @AMCTheatres
2/7
2020
@Sonos Rosanna by Toto because I am old.
1/18
2020
I’ve had 6 items not delivered by the “guaranteed” delivery date. What is wrong with @amazon ???
1/5
2019
I got a letter from an @amazon rep in which they spelled my name wrong (it’s correct on the account) and failed to… https://t.co/ngnLrYVAH7
12/30
2019
Amazon: guaranteed delivery date December 28 Also @amazon: I’m showing the maximum delivery date to be December 31… https://t.co/6H4m4dRzxz @AmazonHelp You sit on a throne of lies.
12/29
2019
@AmazonHelp Wait. @AmazonHelp When I ordered the package it said “guaranteed delivery date“ was today. What’s the guarantee? Is the g… https://t.co/Y7s1ziiGC2 @AmazonHelp “USPS Currently Awaiting Package” is the status on my package that is supposed to be delivered today an… https://t.co/LfscOl7qKtOk so how about asking me how my customer service experience was today @amazon ? It wasn’t customer service but it was an experience.
12/28
2019
@photojack I read that wrong - 1. Learn to fly, 2. Learn to use a drone - if you can fly you don’t need a drone.
12/27
2019
I’m home. @FedEx didn’t even knock. What the crap!?My kid got into @uvmvermont today. We have to sort out out of state fees but I’m excited for the potential!
12/13
2019
Dear @AnaEgge - sorry for your loss. #tommycanshowyoutheway
12/10
2019
@Lin_Manuel Dip the beak in ink.
12/3
2019
Dear Pastor Carmichael, Young people are not going to show up at this hour. Let’s skip the acoustic guitar.
Retweeted by Neal Wilkinson
11/24
2019
It would only make sense for @sheetz to send me swag if there were Tennessee locations. I’m not bitter.
11/12
2019
@neiltyson Yes but not that kind of cup.True story. https://t.co/Nuj0eKCtxf
11/10
2019
Remember that time I stopped using @Dropboxhttps://t.co/AMTuLZyQxd @moment any word on my 11 pro max case?
11/8
2019
@UPSHelp Hahahahaha. You are the one delivering it. It’s been all over the world several times according to your tr… https://t.co/yrcSjMLt9Z @UPS why did you quit answering me? https://t.co/zBvBhifvIv
11/6
2019
@UPSHelp Look at how wrong you were just this morning! https://t.co/yYPTTrDwnISeriously @ups I am curious. How has this thing been to Hong Kong 3 times and Taiwan, Alaska and Kentucky twice eac… https://t.co/ILB9kFQvQz @UPSHelp I think you are just making stuff up.Clearly @UPS is insane. The adventure continues. https://t.co/gUHU5dGK5r @NPR Ewwwwww
11/5
2019
@UPSHelp 1Z6F489W6700217404I wonder if @ups can make any sense of this. https://t.co/c7Ak4kwIBF
11/4
2019
I haven’t eaten a hamburger in 32 years. I’m not gonna start now.
10/27
2019
@DelTaco how you gonna be out of fries?!?!
10/12
2019
@PeruvianHammer Shut up. Can’t watch til tomorrow.
10/11
2019
@neiltyson And if we mix all that together do we get anything?
10/9
2019
Seems like every decision is wwpd…
10/8
2019
Just watched a fella take a full 30 seconds to sit down. #carnival #notsobendy
10/6
2019
I want to know this too! But probably not for the same reason. https://t.co/mZf1uhPsFc
9/30
2019
Turning over a new twitter leaf.
9/28
2019
I’m just glad she didn’t stop at “stabbing.” https://t.co/zPMjpasjAQ
9/20
2019
And to help you visualize- she looks like Danny DeVito’s penguin. https://t.co/SSEXq4CrvM
9/17
2019
@StormTrackBrian @ChattanoogaZoo Cooling?
9/10
2019
Just ordered an @peakdesignltd everyday backpack 20l. Please let me love it.
9/1
2019
Ok WHAT?!?!? Is coming soon @nixplaycloud ?
8/28
2019
Ok. Trying to decide between the @peakdesignltd travel backpack and the @aer_sf travel pack 2. Which one? #idontknow
8/17
2019
@darrah_elaine @IKEA Sheeeeeeeesh
8/15
2019
@PeruvianHammer It’s matter-of-fact. I think it would be impossible to narrow down the perfect quote. @PeruvianHammer https://t.co/sv4Ff5yKoR @PeruvianHammer I just went to his grave!
7/28
2019
@Hertz 809734111, 558163395, 244384405
7/27
2019
A really old Viennese woman just laid down on some airport chairs a couple seats down and let one rip. Now I’m can’… https://t.co/9NNXlRNWlc
7/3
2019
They do not lend themselves to a charitable view of the area. https://t.co/tFFLlNFOKj
6/8
2019
I would venture to say that there are very few politicians who aren’t being reckless these days. #preservationoftheunion
5/30
2019
Why people gotta act like that?
5/29
2019
@IChristian3030 Probably 27 or so unless you inluce the fleece ones.
5/21
2019
@ivfshan @StormTrackBrian @CHAtheatrecentr I went with my girlfriend who lives in Canada.
5/12
2019
In either direction. https://t.co/JOJUuZl3h4
5/2
2019
One thing is clear here and that is no matter which side of the Barr hearing you fall on, you believe the governmen… https://t.co/9SFtiJ9AVU
5/1
2019
@_davidtucker_ My response is limited to current use, but “usable” may be a stretch even now.
4/24
2019

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