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Mum of 3 (one ASD) and lazy triathlete, half iron half jelly. Continuous Quin (5xIron distance) and Double Brutal finisher. Bit political - I voted IN!

1,755 Following   939 Followers   11,394 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/14/10

“I’m Too Selfish For My Mask” is the Right Said Fred 90s rework none of us needs.
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️
No good deed goes unpunished. But no good deed gets as punished as a good deed for a teenager.Can you die waiting for a teenager to do something? It feels like you could die.Hi #RishiSunak. I've been thinking about what makes a viable business. Here's a little story for you. Barbara is a…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️
@31ltolox @MooseAllain Yodel will deliver 3 years in the past and throw it over the fence of a house you don’t live in yet @31ltolox @MooseAllain *away @31ltolox @MooseAllain Except generally it’s a question of “we thought you were probably in but we cba to wait for… @polskey @MikeHobsonEsq @Type2Twins @yearinthesaddle I can’t promise no politics on this account, but we generally avoid it on @Type2Twins @_Maia_King @soundcube It’s not even rocket science is it?If only I could retweet this 1000 times...
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️ @MikeHobsonEsq @yearinthesaddle @rodkoff That is very coolA strangely optimistic look at the bleak winter ahead of us this is fine. Making the pubs close a bit early and stopping people playing netball will sort this out no pro… @rodkoff @MikeHobsonEsq I feel this very keenly @MikeHobsonEsq Brioche toast and butter. 4 slices. Its all the fault of the green bananas. They made me do it. @CameronYardeJnr @KatAdeney @scrufflove Come on in, help yourself to a bottle of slightly disappointing colaThat thing when you've had a post-run snack so big that you're going to have to have another run 🐷🐷I WANT to be good bananas, but you're all so greeeeen
See. It’s not all doom and gloom. @Thievesbook @CameronYardeJnr I was never and have never been a waitress in a cocktail bar. I don’t know where you even heard that. @Thievesbook @CameronYardeJnr I have no idea what you mean as I am far too young. Yes I am. Don’t argue. @CameronYardeJnr You are so deprived. You need this stuff. You neeeeed it @Thievesbook @CameronYardeJnr Oh my god, this thread! Sodastream, scalextrics, breville sandwich’s all the best things!! @CameronYardeJnr @mccauleyphotos Oh yes! But I can no longer play with it as the dog captured the cars and chews them! Bloody loved it tho! @mccauleyphotos @CameronYardeJnr I got scalextric for my 42nd birthday @CameronYardeJnr I now have a soda stream. I had major soda stream envy as a kid @MikeHobsonEsq I’ve done that one in the snow - have a fab pic someone took of me running over the top! @MikeHobsonEsq I think that’s the attraction of cat bells you get up high for only a short walk. Plenty of others w… @MikeHobsonEsq Cat Bells is the GO TO fell for tourists, not sure why. Its nice enough but its always busy! @lukemcgee No one. Absolutely no one. @MikeHobsonEsq Was absolutely mobbed in Keswick and round by Cat Bells last week when I was there. Quiet on Askham… Rishi Sunak has said people only have to do a third of their work & then the government will top up the rest? Is…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️.⁦@RishiSunak⁩ must use today’s announcement to put right a huge injustice & give over 3 million #ExcludedUK the s…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️
@acgrayling Well that’s just crazy talk! @C0unsel0rX @_salt_n_lime Sitting on a warm, wet public toilet seat @Barclaycard Yes I have figured that out, but over payday. And why move it? Most things you can pick a day in the month for it to come out.
Boris Johnson looks quite like a man who has put his head through a hole at a fairground and ended up wearing a woo…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️ @campinginwinter Might be best all round. Kids might not agree tho!Nothing says leadership like driving 400m on 'Car Free Day'.
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️So I have a question Boris - as a family of 5 which of my parents shall we see for Christmas? Or should we just bo… British, much like pandas, are biologically unable to adopt simple behaviours that would ensure their continued…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️My bit about Boris Johnson, the latest Thames whale
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️"Stay at home" *Stays at home* "What the fuck are you doing" "I-" "GET BACK TO WORK" "But-" "BUY A FUCKING SANDWICH…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️There’s currently a lad called Rhys James stuck in quarantine in Italy. But I am the number saved under Rhys James…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️ @pward82 Its not just you. @jonlis1 They've made it impossible for our 5 person family to see either set of grandparents without breaking the… is Ripley. It’s her first day of zoom classes. Not exactly what she was expecting. Way fewer zoomies than the…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️
@scousepie @MadeInBedlam Reported
If Boris Johnson thinks £150,000 is an unfairly low salary, just wait until he hears about how much the nurses he l…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️ @JenWilliamsMEN @AndyBurnhamGM Was saying something very similar yesterday. Now numbers are on the rise in London a… @StarlightMcKenz @LeaLeaLemon @MrHSEND I have never forgotten lovely TA who got v. angry with staff-meeting bitchin…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️
@nosliWtrautS Wtf? We’re meant to have sympathy for sex pests now?I love this so much @MikeHobsonEsq @steve_abraham74 And smirking. She’s excellent at smirking. @MikeHobsonEsq @steve_abraham74 Not according to our irony proof Home Secretary who says you should dob people in f… @pcsavage That’s mental. It’s like when I couldn’t chat to my parents from the end of their drive but they could wa… @steve_abraham74 @MikeHobsonEsq According to Priti Patel if you meet another family in the street and stop to chat… @MikeHobsonEsq Now that is a plan I can get behind!! @steve_abraham74 Trying to have a picnic. Chances are 1 of the teenagers won’t want to come. But if they do, we are… a family of 5, all of us seeing my parents is now an illegal gathering. But me meeting 5 friends from 5 differen…
My bit on Boris Johnson’s testing fiasco, Rees-Mogg telling people to look grateful, weapons-grade Cummings and var…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️ @secretspartacus @BBCNews Well that’s odd. Because I’m sure the government told us children couldn’t catch it or spread it @Harkaway Here you go @Harkaway Er, there was a tweet from them earlier, I’ll have a look. @Harkaway Also ONS random study reckons it’s already 6000 a day and testing only picking up roughly 50% of cases#SEND twitter, anyone tried arguing that the grading system for last year’s GCSE was discriminatory? Autistic kids… @Pandamoanimum You are a hero for doing this @OddOneEven @RogersHistory Yes!! This has happened to my son at an FE college. Feeling powerless to sort. @RogersHistory Yeah I made the mistake of thinking like that all last year and it turns out my autistic son was bei… the "stuff cyclists already know" Dept.
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️1/ "NHS" Test and Trace has failed. A thread. Firstly, Test & Trace is run by Serco and nothing to do with the NHS…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️ @EmmaKennedy Emma, Emma. They don't make mistakes, so how can they learn from them. Our higher death rate, longe… @MikeHobsonEsq Its back, and this time its cotton buds! I'm always hoarding wine, so I'm way ahead of you there.Second lockdown question: do we need to start hoarding loo paper again or was that just for the first series?
If you've had a super stressful day are allowed to say bollocks to the rest day and go for a lung busting run, or s… @Irontoffee @yearinthesaddle Silly, that’s an accessory for her cargo bikeCan someone explain to me why @Barclaycard vary their payment date around the end of the month. Makes such a differ… @KatAdeney I’m having that kind of day. Every time I open the fridge, me and the couple of cans of beer in there have a staring contest! @KatAdeney Hurrah! Party time! (For 6 people only, obviously) @KatAdeney Will cross my fingers for you 🤞🤞 @KatAdeney It was negative so fine, but what if it wasn't? What's the point of track and trace if its slower than… @KatAdeney My biggest beef with that was that all the people I had contact with on the Sunday (before I started sel… @KatAdeney Mine took 3 days to come back a few weeks ago when things were quiet. @AmeliaFitzrovia all the beige food @rak_strong Ooh I've also just remembered I had a contact with the surname "Littleboys". First name Roger. @rak_strong In a previous job we had a client whose name was Michael Hunt, liked to be known as Mike.
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️ @PedalsNottm Don't know if it helps, but my son is still cycling and locking his bike at West Bridgford SchoolI am a GP working in the NHS. I have been seeing patients face to face, after appropriate assessment, throughout th…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️Fuming with ⁦@NHSEngland⁩
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️ @MikeHobsonEsq Show off. I on the other hand will be able to retire in comfort. So long as I don’t actually retire until I’m 93I'm trying to track down a pension I paid into in the 1990s and learning some valuable lessons about the importance of filing.Is there anything at all to prevent Scotland simply declaring independence now? I'm actually serious. The Westmins…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️ @buddy_hell @dorset_eye So you've managed to recruit less than a quarter of the number you got rid of? And they ar… Priti Patel snitch on her neighbours if they broke international law?
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️Another day of life under a prime minister that looks like he’s done a shit at a friends house then realised there’…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️ @NadineDorries I think you just voted to get Brexit undone, didn't you? I mean you literally voting to undo the tr… old enough to remember when those MPs voting to breach the Withdrawal Agreement hailed Johnson's renegotiation o…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️
From memory we had to sign up to support it in order to stand for election as a Tory. I presumed every candidate ha…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️ @JimMFelton @mygoditsraining I want a political chat show called Chaos with Ed Miliband where Ed Miliband tears up…
Retweeted by ❄️ Jane Scott 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️