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Doofus | SadSack on @criticalbitcast | Comedian? | Invented saying "nice" about 69 | he/him | There's a reason it's not "hashtagtext" | Idiomatic for the People

204 Following   401 Followers   2,761 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/31/15


lets not nominate the man going around the country saying "vote for someone else" - i feel like its just that simple
Retweeted by Paul Byron is a meat robot made of monkey parts. @wrath_of_math Unlawful House or International House of Peril. @primefactorx01 @CriticalBitCast Goggles are extra, but they're worth it. @plentyofalcoves @CriticalBitCast @primefactorx01 Oh yeah. My bad. @ByronSwain @CriticalBitCast @shelpylee Oh my. @BiggieKK @CriticalBitCast @magicalgirlkyra This is a big responsibility but I'll try to live up to it. @pop_primer @magicalgirlkyra @CriticalBitCast It only hurts the words. @BiggieKK @CriticalBitCast @magicalgirlkyra To be honest I didn't know if it would work till I got to the end of it. @pop_primer I answer to no one. Which may be one of the problems, but who would tell me that I needed to solve it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! @CriticalBitCast @magicalgirlkyra No. @magicalgirlkyra @CriticalBitCast A man, a flan, a canal fan, AMA! I see no need to explain what is plainly obvio… https://t.co/H1mRm28Hrd @wrath_of_math Secret: Shameful Negative Zone Prison Hotel: Not Shameful. This is an important distinction, thank… https://t.co/5muqciTzxLShaming people is fine if what they have done is shameful. @OxyOxspring @joelwruiz Shame is underrated. @OxyOxspring @joelwruiz Please do not encourage Joel.Come for the teen heroes, stay for... https://t.co/DUYQvYPPlsMy favorite thing about being angry is that it is usually because of bad choices I made years ago. @wtfdeannatroi She seems like she was more of a 'ludes girl back in the day.
1/28
2020
"I wonder if the Legal Department knows about this [process that has been hacked together after the fact to account… https://t.co/slxixg6fzy @reachrachelkahn I mean, it is known military genius @davidfrum saying this so he is to be forgiven for not remembering that fun fact. @LoanWolfKevin Wrong website. @reachrachelkahn Funny because America's "ruthless modern army" has yet to win a conflict of this type. @LoanWolfKevin More than happy to talk about why Ditto is the most f***able Pokemon. @OxyOxspring It's ok, my qualifications list is pretty brief. I'll include it below this tweet. Ok that's it. @OxyOxspring Put me in as a dark horse wildcard contender! I promise I'll be exciting to work with. @SammSeverin I just want to thank you for bravely sharing this journey with us. @wrath_of_math I know people who are watching GOOP as a joke, which is funny, but views are views, so it encourages the producers.Be vigilant: Spitewatching a show is the same as watching it, so please try to watch things you actually enjoy, thank you.Wild that @davidfrum , one of the architects of the [second, longer] war in Iraq is now an expert on who can and cannot win something.A timely reminder: Grace is getting what you don’t deserve. Mercy is not getting what you do deserve. Operate accordingly.
Retweeted by Paul Byron is a meat robot made of monkey parts. @MagpieOfficial Thank you for both your patience and lovely TTRPG systems. I'll probably be back with more questions later. @islandgoth Oh cool we've finally gotten Scouting back to its nationalist paramilitary origins. @RedBlaqueGolden @CriticalBitCast @MagpieOfficial That'll pass. @worstgeneratio Sometimes basic is all you need. @worstgeneratio This is my most wholesome sentiment so far today. I'm in some kind of mood apparently. @worstgeneratio Get the lozenges! @pinktechician I feel like the screams will get distracting.That I start my day at this level probably speaks to my need to quit my job more than anything else.Ok so I want some of those beetles that skeletonize things but where would I put a soundproof jar big enough to fit my numerous enemies?
1/27
2020
@RedBlaqueGolden @CriticalBitCast @MagpieOfficial Don't know, don't know, not human, no.The inventor of beef died? @plentyofalcoves I can only say Joel ate the one in the image. @plentyofalcoves @BrandlessG @joelwruiz To revive a classic: "everyone please stop describing their bodies"Between two back to back @CriticalBitCast recordings yesterday :) https://t.co/6t7U5zg5fT
Retweeted by Paul Byron is a meat robot made of monkey parts. @RedBlaqueGolden @CriticalBitCast @MagpieOfficial I can say, without hearing them, that your concerns are valid. @CriticalBitCast @RedBlaqueGolden @MagpieOfficial Understated, subtle. Which makes it the kind of bait and switch n… https://t.co/FHIiX37sGn @RedBlaqueGolden @MagpieOfficial All is answered within the @CriticalBitCast universe. Arc 5 has been a bit of a doozy. @MaxFunHQ @beefanddairy should probably know about this tradition.If you hear someone knocking a stick of butter against a bar, get your own stick of butter out and tap it on the ba… https://t.co/3rZLOK2Mz9 @bleongambetta @MagpieOfficial Thank you for your service. I'll arrange for a 21d6 salute at your funeral. @bleongambetta @MagpieOfficial Hi and welcome to the Critical Bits Body Horror Superteen Rule Module. No, you canno… https://t.co/veouHeSjqg @bleongambetta @MagpieOfficial I'm going to keep asking until this is part of an official module, but thank you ver… https://t.co/HVQRowWfL3 @confusiondoodle @MagpieOfficial IT HAS HAPPENED MORE THAN ONCE.Wild that this dude didnt think to list United States or Ukraine... https://t.co/5ttUje0HCY @plentyofalcoves "please state your exact location" @heyitschili Next time. I'm occupied today but love me some Korean spa. @Bazukinier @MagpieOfficial You watch it, mister. @Evanszanycomedy I just need you to know I believe in you.Dear @MagpieOfficial My Masks group keeps having an issue where the core rules do not provide guidance for what t… https://t.co/n83KnmXNELSandy Springs is great if you want the look and feel of a suburb but still want to pay $9 for a craft beer like you’re in the city
Retweeted by Paul Byron is a meat robot made of monkey parts. @Evanszanycomedy if you don't put that tweet about Sandy springs being terrible back up I'll post my screenshot of it. @worstgeneratio Besides, the core ruleset is missing important parts. Like a roll for what to do if dismembered fingers get in your mouth.
1/26
2020
@BrandlessG https://t.co/qIwxQWAIH5 @Shintendo_64 I was surprised when I learned that anime was a legume! @GeekySousa This is comforting.
1/25
2020
My Hero Macadamia. Is this something? @janwensv1 @reachrachelkahn This is extremely insightful, thank you ever so much.Damn you'd think Joe Rogan started a secret illegal war in Cambodia and actively destabilized a bunch of South Amer… https://t.co/hQpZRNEqEx @Dan33217701 @reachrachelkahn Move over "Candidate I'd like to have a beer with" Hello "Candidate I'd like to have… https://t.co/ZpUbfZwkvcSo, the pitch for Klobuchar appears to be that she's Biden, but with no son or onset dementia to muck up her otherw… https://t.co/57RhL6oIJd @cornellartworks "We have to win over republicans... ...but not THOSE Republicans!"If the Wuhan coronavirus arrives here in the bay, I won't be wearing a surgical mask. I'll be warding it off with a… https://t.co/MgyfhrkW0l
Retweeted by Paul Byron is a meat robot made of monkey parts. @RebsParks @CriticalBitCast What a turn!
1/24
2020
@LoanWolfKevin You didn't answer my questions at all. I'm not sure this is actually that serious of an inquiry. @RebsParks @CriticalBitCast Glad to contribute to any regrets anyone might have about anything.Hey I know there's a lot going on with the impeachment and primary and SNL drama and everything being on fire eithe… https://t.co/CAjESJl1fFI can definitely write niche jokes that appeal to the specialization of your corporate even. Unfortunately, most of… https://t.co/Gpv684CFZ5 @LoanWolfKevin How many shirtless wolves do you have and what is the dress code where they work? @heyitschili Same, King.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
Retweeted by Paul Byron is a meat robot made of monkey parts.It's never an inappropriate time to point out to a co-worker that @The_UWUA represents call center employees.Anyway, Unionize Customer Service.I'll give you one guess what demographic cohort occupies most of this space.It's finally obvious that "Vote Blue No Matter Who" was always an admonishment, and never a rallying cry.yoooooo its me tig notaro tweeting for @ImChrisIsLame whos tweeting for me, tig notato, today they done fucked ar… https://t.co/R4wBqVb5ZI
Retweeted by Paul Byron is a meat robot made of monkey parts.My favorite thing about working in a customer facing department is explaining to people who "need to speak to our C… https://t.co/FUKcHA4Gs7 @babybones_jones Imagine the chaos if just 10% of the people who did actual work just didn't show up tomorrow... I… https://t.co/iwWGXtUa6o
Retweeted by Paul Byron is a meat robot made of monkey parts. @babybones_jones Apocalypse, Now!The Scorpions, famous for their song "Rock You Like A Hurricane", are from Germany, where there are neither scorpions nor hurricanes. @reachrachelkahn "Literally artificial intelligence" lol. @babybones_jones Imagine the chaos if just 10% of the people who did actual work just didn't show up tomorrow... I… https://t.co/iwWGXtUa6o @_Greyist @CriticalBitCast I do like it when they get recursive. @DefaultProphet I do not care for this.The #DoomsdayClock sits on the Doomsday Nightstand next to the Doomsday Glass of Water, Doomsday Light Reading, Doo… https://t.co/vV7eIrT8Kt @reachrachelkahn Unfortunately, the DNC does not think much past this either. @pop_primer I'm not entirely sure he's that concerned with righting injustice so much as he is winning. @reachrachelkahn I think his point is that he loves how the RNC is owning the libs.Turns out a hundred million dollars is enough to buy a couple of percentage points in the polls but it can't but friendship. #YeahOkGoodUpdate from my "both sides" co-worker: "It doesn't matter if the impeachment articles are all true because there… https://t.co/KoPRmIvV4A @CriticalBitCast @_Greyist https://t.co/T3ChXhWxWl
1/23
2020

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