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I write fiction about sad midwestern teens (and sometimes other things) Work in @EmbarkJournal, @TheCollapsar, @moonrabbitcandy, and @Wigleaf. (he/him)

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Joined Twitter 3/31/16

Life is just waking up in the morning and deciding how to give yourself a headache“I can’t listen to your shit anymore”-me, out loud, as I turn off a podcast“Demystifying” is the word I wantI highly recommend writers try to read for literary magazines. It teaches you a lot of stuff, the most important be…“I’m gonna need you to get your shit together” -me to the butter that fell out of the fridge when I opened the fridgeKids, I shit you not. There used to be a phone number you could call just to find out what time it was.
Retweeted by Derek Heckman @AANDeloucas You didMe and the boys when all this is over ❤️ is nothing in this world to compare with watching a bad movie and making fun of it with your friends
This is my most cherished gif. If I ever send it to you, it means I am genuinely very grateful for something you’ve… Good Vibe is Hard to Find @Bud_Smith Love and honor and hopelessness and fountains of blood and magical mules and smashing shitFuck. What a good time these guys are having @danbillyc Thank you!!There are no small fictions, only small writersRevelations from @herekdeckman:
Retweeted by Derek Heckman @rosshowalter Thanks, Ross!We're happy to announce our nominations for Best Small Fictions! Congratulations and good luck to @JoWithers2018,…
Retweeted by Derek Heckman @moonrabbitcandy @JoWithers2018 @rudribpatel @desertdwellera3 @SmartRachael Thank you, Cathy!!! This is very exciting!!!*Annihilation sound*Very “not the beginning of a horror movie” vibes indeed good, normal stuff here. Whatever the opposite of ominous is, that’s what’s this shit is FOR SURE. were out of the low sugar oatmeal I usually buy so I had to buy the regular and it’s like eating a bowl of fucking TrixI am “this oatmeal is too sweet” years oldThis is the best one I’ll bet yeah fuckin right’t they all Well. Sure. @tobinaddington Extremely dislike that guy👑 is a film about driver safetyMood Indeed @rosshowalter It’s a bad face! Hard, hard dislikeDrink every time you say “Nope” out loudNot a fan of this guy. Gonna say it right now on how normal things are so far. Guy plays his music, comes home, talks with his wife. Very niceAnd Gary Busey?!?!?Richard Pryor!?“Doing great there, Couch Potato!” it in the voice, pleaseThe nickname David Lynch would give you is the first thing you think of when you look at this image’s see how “lost” this highway really is
“Boarded the train there’s no getting off”—haven’t we all, Sylvia?Plath weighing in @TonyHoWasHere @TonyHoWasHere @rosshowalter @NifMuhammad “New Age Girl” Deadeye Dick“Funky Song” from Sabrina the Teenage Witch it to Bruce Springsteen to take “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” and make it the horniest song of all time @timunken Just following up to be trapped by terrorists in the house of a South American diplomat. Love to find moments of grace and conne… *fills a pitcher with water* My body: “Oh thank God” Me *pours the water into my mr coffee* My body: “God fucking damn it”I ❤️* COFFEE!!!!! *am addicted toThe Željko Ivanek “That One Guy” Award Dunne was the Zodiac Killer
You need a sassy sister-type with glasses and a lot of attitude, is she not the first person you call?Biggest mystery of Gone Girl so far: Was Janeane Garofalo unavailable or? up my first job working for David Fincher by making the color pallet of every scene blue as a bit @hibadsmh H. Jon Benjamin“I’m sorry”“That’s not genius in publishing. You wanna know what’s genius in publishing? ‘New Adult.’ Somebody thought of that… you hate your beautiful and perfect wife’s a scene in the crown this season where the Queen and Prince Phillip discuss Billy Joel and there is no othe… @TravisCravey I’ve heard of getting rejected, but this is ridiculous!There are two kinds of stories: 1) A stranger comes to town 2) Complex interpersonal dramas spanning whole generations of the same familyDon’t want to take too big a risk but I’m considering having it span whole generationsAll right guys, check this as an idea for a new novel: A complex interpersonal drama *whispers* but within a family
Suckerssss @timunken A fine beverage by all accountsCinematography. It is discussing cinematography @timunken Crisp, some would say @timunken They are!Like the cavemen at Lascaux, I think, reaching out across time and space, making a mark that will outlive them by e… at the end of a Crown episode: “William Shea went on to a successful career writing political thrillers”… everyone agrees! It is a bitch! We can’t argue!I’m honestly always a little impressed that they managed to say bitch like ten times in a two minute songs and nobody ever caresProducer: “You can’t do it, boys! I run a clean, wholesome record company, and I won’t have it sullied by two long-… @HBWithers This one’s just for meLEO: “You are referring to Academy Award-Winner Marisa Tomei?” HOYNES: “Yes!” LEO: “Refer to her that way!” @SuperYakiStuff “Academy Award-Winner Marisa Tomei” shirt whenA reminder that if you are ever speaking about Marisa Tomei, it is appropriate to refer to her by her title “Academ… but respect for my queen—Gatsby turned out all right at the end ⓘ This claim is disputedThe word “Trumpian” gets tossed around a lot these days but boy, seeing that Tim Roth is in this movie: “Ah fuck yeah”Me, seeing the dogs in the opening: “Ah fuck yeah”Relatedly, can anyone recommend a free and easily accessed medium where I can hear between 2 and 4 men discuss film… right, boys, the gf is watching a movie with her friends tonight so we ALL know what that means, sitting down again after performing a small task: “I still have to face the hours, don’t I?”
@DBGerrard I’m always subtweeting everyoneI mean I’m no expert, but it seems to me that when someone comes out with a weird, bad answer for why they did a th… @SomersErin Where’s THIS novel?"And so in Goodfellas, the scene with my mother—that's my mother in that scene—was totally improvised"