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if i were a ghost i'd probably haunt a taco bell.

206 Following   412 Followers   1,184 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/11/08


@lookoutitsbbear @funky49 I've learned a lot today and I'm glad we could unify to get to the bottom of this mystery.
11/12
2020
In these turbulent times we must set aside our differences and start asking the real questions: why do farts smell the worst in the shower?
11/11
2020
@rareamericans Will Wood. So much Will Wood.
11/10
2020
I just raised $25.00 USD for my local children’s hospital through #EXTRALIFE. Donate today and help me reach my goa… https://t.co/jBjHp1qCa7I just donated to #EXTRALIFE to help kids treated at local children’s hospitals!
11/7
2020
RIP 😭 @LinusTech https://t.co/2vFPMbZvy8
11/6
2020
I just donated to #EXTRALIFE to help kids treated at local children’s hospitals!
11/5
2020
@panicbombbby scaredpusheen.gif @panicbombbby It's a good idea maybe someone out there in the Twitterverse can bankroll it for me 😂
10/10
2020
can you believe Halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this year wowow so spooky
10/2
2020
This bank clerk just tried to explain to me that instead of depositing my cash at the counter I could use the ATM.… https://t.co/b6nYLWwD86This thing is truly delicious if made correctly. I don't know how Domino's managed to fuck it up so bad. Sincerely… https://t.co/GDCinZmm9eFinally, get it on a thin crust and request it to be cooked well done. This does a better job of simulating a taco… https://t.co/amce6MkttHGet green pepper out of there! Who eats green pepper on a taco? Maniacs, that's who. Add black olives and roasted r… https://t.co/iZNVbrMm6hFirst: fuck american cheese. It has no place in a taco and is the sole reason the original recipe has failed misera… https://t.co/ybz8f2ujr1As you can see by this picture, my changes were so good that my coworkers couldn't even wait for me to get back to… https://t.co/51cprTTOGsHey @FaceJamPod, as a long time Domino's employee it was wild listening to an episode about my place of employment.… https://t.co/3AeomSHfxQ
10/1
2020
@theneedledrop Hear me now and believe me later: you need to check out Will Wood. Listen to his newest project, "Th… https://t.co/JWUNeRN4wp
9/24
2020
@Superdangerous5 scaredpusheen.gif @FaceJamPod @EricBaudour Eric screaming while eating the cookies was the funniest goddamn thing. Thanks for eating those so I never have to.
9/17
2020
@panicbombbby @Purple I want the soundtrack to be played live, and we better get some @OrangeAmps involved. @panicbombbby @Purple Alright we can 86 the pink eye but Purple is really gonna have to step up and carry that end of the color spectrum.I'm sure we can somehow fit @Purple into the mix, if it's a sexy sort of film.Concept: A film shot on a RED camera, recorded with a Blue microphone, on a green screen, with actors who have pink eye.
9/15
2020
@panicbombbby That's what I'm SAYING
9/3
2020
@bIondiewasabi People are missing out on this premium content. Absolute fools.
9/2
2020
In retrospect perhaps it should have been obvious that googling "halloween mask" wasn't going to return the results I was expecting.
9/1
2020
Serving someone a Chobani Flip already flipped is the ultimate power move.I just raised $25.00 USD for my local children’s hospital through #EXTRALIFE. Donate today & help me reach my goal: https://t.co/w3yftSeZXb
8/31
2020
I wish I could snooze the check engine light.I just raised $15.00 USD for my local children’s hospital through #EXTRALIFE. Donate today & help me reach my goal: https://t.co/w3yftSeZXb
8/29
2020
I just donated to #EXTRALIFE to help kids treated at local children’s hospitals!I am SO close to unlocking the @extralife4kids Platinum t-shirt. Can you help me reach the $200 USD milestone? https://t.co/w3yftSeZXb
8/22
2020
I just raised $10.00 USD for my local children’s hospital through #EXTRALIFE. Donate today & help me reach my goal: https://t.co/w3yftSeZXb
8/20
2020
"WHY isn't the media reporting on THIS?" reports media outlet.I just raised $10.00 USD for my local children’s hospital through #EXTRALIFE. Donate today & help me reach my goal: https://t.co/w3yftSeZXb
8/16
2020
I just raised $25.00 USD for local @CMNHospitals thru #EXTRALIFE. Donate today & help me reach my goal: https://t.co/w3yftSeZXb
8/6
2020
The film crew. This is amazing. https://t.co/d53Wfx9NAz
Retweeted by 🔊🔊🔊 ⭐F 🍕😷🍕 @DJ_Stormageddon Mother, of course.I just donated to #EXTRALIFE to help the kids treated at @CMNHospitals!
8/2
2020
@cebsilver @rareamericans Paying attention to the music I recommend is the best birthday gift anyone could give me. 😸
7/30
2020
I just raised $25.00 USD for local @CMNHospitals thru #EXTRALIFE. Donate today & help me reach my goal: https://t.co/w3yftSeZXbI just donated to #EXTRALIFE to help the kids treated at @CMNHospitals!I signed up for another year of #EXTRALIFE to help kids treated at @CMNHospitals. Help me kick off my fundraising! https://t.co/w3yftSeZXb
7/29
2020
https://t.co/UtuwfUyb5BQuarantine movies, pt. 10! This is the last one of these I'll post probably since no one uses the poll anyway.
7/16
2020
My birthday is coming up and I haven't been to the doctor for a general checkup in 10 years now so if anyone is won… https://t.co/VHbSqwJy1C
7/14
2020
https://t.co/2H8G9PbJSIQuarantine movies, pt. 9
7/9
2020
@bugsnert @astronautalis @DOOMTREE https://t.co/CPRwXH560B @bugsnert @astronautalis @DOOMTREE I haven't done it yet, but I'm planning on making record bowls out of my vinyl!
7/4
2020
@jeffrosenstock @chrisfarren @Back2DaIsland per the last ep of BTTI, I am the guy who has listened to every episode… https://t.co/rWlIm2el4a
7/1
2020
https://t.co/ggRRYv02gNQuarantine movies, pt. 8
6/22
2020
As a kid I would hear stories about how Elvis died on the toilet and think "that's absolutely RIDICULOUS!" But the… https://t.co/irpUHKfx57
6/21
2020
Truly the hardest part of growing up is watching the people around you stop growing.
6/14
2020
@AndrewYang We need a President.*Trump. Has. Dementia.
6/2
2020
What if instead of violently cracking down harder and harder they said "we understand why you are protesting, rioti… https://t.co/gl0Un4mPQ4
Retweeted by 🔊🔊🔊 ⭐F 🍕😷🍕
6/1
2020
@GaricMidknight @Jellesmarbles lmao sick comeback, you still thinkin about me? Does it eat you up at night? 😂😂😂👍👍👍
5/25
2020
I've encountered too many people who remember the lyrics to Fort Minor's hit single but can't remember who it was b… https://t.co/Erfd1HY1X5
5/22
2020
@GaricMidknight @Jellesmarbles Looks like someone's triggered 😂
5/20
2020
@panicbombbby scaredpusheen.gif @panicbombbby And you didn't even call me?! Bogus
5/18
2020
Brain yells "KEEP UP, STUPID BODY!" Body screams "THE OLD SHIRTS STILL DON'T FIT, YOU MANIAC!"I've been exercising and eating healthier for about a month now and my perception is anarchy. Mentally I feel much… https://t.co/gf3Yp9gN8g
5/15
2020
https://t.co/ToNe4qdgEhQuarantine movies, pt. 7
5/6
2020
@goatshowpod The haste (ease/speed or ordering/making), the taste (the way it... tastes in your mouth), and the was… https://t.co/v2AaONUZZ0
4/30
2020
https://t.co/YfR3UHc8GQQuarantine movies, pt. 6
4/25
2020
Someone's gotta introduce the president to Mr. Yuk.
4/24
2020
https://t.co/JazkdRLRYHQuarantine movies, pt. 5
4/15
2020
@Back2DaIsland I'm tweeting at you!! @goatshowpod I can't believe Jake said he's been to 49 states without revealing the last one he has to hit. WHERE IS IT?
4/10
2020
The Flat Earth movement had really gained some traction recently, what's that all about? #FlattenTheCurve
4/7
2020
The opposite of gatekeeping is bellhopping.Just as an extra precaution if you're self-isolating at home, make sure to only watch soap operas. #keepitclean
4/6
2020
*Listening to the PunkNews podcast* "How are you holding up? Do you have more or less anxiety than last week?" "But… https://t.co/03Sq2YXEnh
4/4
2020
@ScottsTOL I stumbled onto your YT channel at random and have been binging through your catalog of videos! Just wan… https://t.co/o6XxxRZQzj
4/1
2020
https://t.co/5Iah0YI6mAQuarantine movies, pt. 4
3/29
2020
https://t.co/vsmLMnpbOhQuarantine movies, pt. 3
3/28
2020
https://t.co/UUvjgtE1buQuarantine movies, pt. 2
3/23
2020
https://t.co/9VcFy4P1t1Quarantine movies pt. 1 What movie should we watch?
3/21
2020
Lousy Smarch virus.
3/18
2020
ALL EVENTS CANCELED! The Boring 20's indeed.
3/12
2020
Mike Bloomberg is the best YouTube Red spokesman they've ever had!
2/26
2020
@goatshowpod Classic Thermos is my GOAT water bottle of choice. 💧 https://t.co/wkncj3Mw9U
2/25
2020
@goatshowpod okay but what's the GOAT soap dish?!
2/1
2020
They say it's the thought that counts but I've been thinking about working out for weeks and I'm still not in shape, what a ripoff.
1/7
2019
@MiltoniusPrime Wonderful 😂
12/7
2019
If you can't handle me at my Yik Yak you don't deserve me at my Tik Tok.
11/27
2019
I just raised $25.00 USD for local @CMNHospitals thru #EXTRALIFE. Donate today & help me reach my goal: https://t.co/N4ehyDlAkUI just raised $51.00 USD for local @CMNHospitals thru #EXTRALIFE. Donate today & help me reach my goal: https://t.co/N4ehyDlAkUI just raised $50.00 USD for local @CMNHospitals thru #EXTRALIFE. Donate today & help me reach my goal: https://t.co/N4ehyDlAkU
11/11
2019

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