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Author, Jewelry Maker. Also, I'm @EvaDarrows and BELLY UP is out. Hi. She/Her. 🏳️‍🌈 #actuallyautistic I tweet a lot (dogs, books, jewelry, makeup.)

1,502 Following   9,363 Followers   8,441 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/24/11


One time, I was at a Q&A with Nora Roberts, and someone asked her how to balance writing and kids, and she said tha… https://t.co/bYIr1vz1HT
Retweeted by Hillary MonahanCool Whip containers were poor people Tupperware in my family. 😄 https://t.co/2b3cs3wWB8I said something suggestive/crude to Becky in Walmart and I might be the reason a nice old lady says she doesn't li… https://t.co/NseIW8Qqqb"TOSS A COIN TO YOUR WITCHER!!!!" https://t.co/1AUn2DFfNGMake that one pair of opals left. <3 https://t.co/JHx6ZgcHZ4"As my friend Jean-Paul said, 'Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and di… https://t.co/9rQlCNomGo"Lucille watched as Lionel devoured not only her favorite pellets, but also her dreams." https://t.co/dggNjgDH6m"Oh God He's Still Talking." https://t.co/YUXPFMPbZc https://t.co/20w1z31UTq @auggiesnoise Old dogs are the best. Thank you for sharing him with me and the feed. <3 @HillaryMonahan Here is the alien Dogicorn in his happy old pupper disguise to thank you and lull you into a false… https://t.co/DQRUqDNMQv
Retweeted by Hillary MonahanHi. We listed new things including two pairs of opal earrings which are SUPER pretty and sparkle like unicorn tear… https://t.co/GKj7AflhLF @BrinaStarler Perfect!There are too many places to go here. "EXTERMINATE." "You could have shared the dindin. YOU OUGHT TO HAVE SHARED… https://t.co/cM1u8TgQyW... I can't meme this dog. It's a goddamned laser eyed dogicorn and that is magical all on its own. LOOK AT THIS… https://t.co/IHdM4eyh89"I've seen your search history." https://t.co/68cy56nBQ0 @arsanderswriter You got a still picture, amigo? @OiShinyThings Masters of geometry or something."One of us puked in your shoe aren't I cute?" https://t.co/h5TsU8aG0U"Do you see this bed? This bed right here? It's a large bed. Big enough for an adult or two. But I'm gonna find… https://t.co/S2y9gcgb9vThe Romanovs Katharine Hepburn Reptiles/Dinosaurs Shipwreck Excavation Walt Disney World https://t.co/XXJvUVUK1A
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@SheckyX Cause you love your little bit and that's REAL sweet."Who'd put Nair in a shampoo bottle. Honestly?" https://t.co/C4HmH6hmDw(More later, I just have to go human awhile. <3)"We made an election contribution today. SURPRISE." https://t.co/wouCoFbIjz"Don't worry, I told Publishing Clearing House we were interested in more information." https://t.co/OENfO3w2Vq"In this household, we recycle, and by that I mean there are fifteen Cool Whip containers in the fridge. One of the… https://t.co/izaOBoH914 @rfgbelle @LoraBethWrites This dog is ridiculously cute."It's probably best if we talk about those leftovers you were looking forward to in past tense terms." https://t.co/96yZOtYqZe @SheckyX Aww, poor puddin'. I love my elderly cat. But, if it makes you feel any better, Betty is telling you that YOU have a brain worm."You're so boring I sometimes fake dying to not have to hear you talk anymore." https://t.co/mM1wdtiG5z"Nope. No clue. Who'd change your screenname to BigDaddyHotPockets. That's just so... weird." https://t.co/ZiVtNztiwH"You're right. It's probably nothing. What does WebMD know anyway. Who actually gets a worm in their brain. Hahaha… https://t.co/DsBCwV9nfS"I changed your search engine to Bing." https://t.co/PHLaBRhmqm @SmudgiesMom @OiShinyThings Seriously, I'm just going to drape them over my face and go to my happy place. @UCFH THOSE THINGS MADE DARWIN STOP BELIEVING IN GOD."You fart in your sleep. Also you now have a Tik Tok account." https://t.co/IGb3mY2owz"I know I dribbled a little pee. And you know I dribbled a little pee. But the question is... where? Checkmate." https://t.co/XDhpygFDoaAll creatures, great and small, are allowed here. Except for those creepy zombie bugs that use their hosts like… https://t.co/rVUykkVzvP @Bibliogato ... yes. Yes, I do."When you're not home I look for the absolute worst things on Amazon Prime so the algorithm thinks you're only inte… https://t.co/mxgQZKUYDVReminder that series opener for The Worldbreaker Saga - the Mirror Empire - is now a steal at $2.99 if you're ready… https://t.co/KgMHuSI0JW
Retweeted by Hillary Monahan @LionessElise I couldn't not. Now let's hope they got as much fire as they appear to."You know that song you can't get out of your head. About the horse. On the old town road. That you're gonna rid… https://t.co/9nlEvIjyyJ @CaraRomanAuthor They're coming in from India so I likely won't see them for about three weeks! But I'll be showin… https://t.co/jWHd8tjtt1"I totally looked through your medicine cabinet when I used your bathroom. I know everything. Even about the rash." https://t.co/Y0j5s4Hf3TTwitter. I bought them. Five strands. https://t.co/hE6qcZGWsS"Your favorite character? The one you keep telling everyone you see yourself in? Yeah. He dies in book two. SUC… https://t.co/jzL7U34Ve0"Sometimes, when no one's looking, I lick all of the fruit in the fruit bowl so a little piece of me is inside of y… https://t.co/sESlrcQpGKImagine trying to get a Black woman fired for eating breakfast and coming back to the bookish world with this hot t… https://t.co/7EPWlOSJ1N
Retweeted by Hillary MonahanBrain weasels suck. @weredawgz Aaaaah!!!!Yooooo @definitelyvita and @weredawgz ARE WRITING THE IRONHEART TIE IN TO IRON MAN 2020 😍😍😍 https://t.co/0ILwhPDG45
Retweeted by Hillary Monahan @JenniferJames34 This was my DeeDee, AKA Deetles, and she was the best. https://t.co/BtCTtzzTe9Happy Hunger Gaymes, Gayze Runners! The cover for my debut novel is now LIIIIVE on @TeenVogue! Click through for t… https://t.co/vL0tWlKREf
Retweeted by Hillary MonahanYes, I'll meme your dog."I just farted in that elevator then laughed when a mom blamed her kid." https://t.co/RCdBnFtR3d"Sometimes I take the DVDs out of the cases and switch them all up so no one can ever find the movie they want." https://t.co/1oDDcJdLF4Etc, etc, etc. https://t.co/sE9a7lRzu5"Seriously, NO one likes you, Alice." https://t.co/gcwOQ3eF96"Yesterday I told someone's grandma she smells like old shoes." https://t.co/CsgynxctCW"I eat babies." https://t.co/Wx4njKC9H9Twitter is very weird to think about. You get these tiny droplets about people, single moments compressed into 280… https://t.co/pkcMMDuFzt @bookavid 🥰 I love my stylist. She's amazing. "I want bi pride colors. But it has to show up against my black hai… https://t.co/ZdcGrfXjsIEvery time I see this i wanna cry Someone me a girl who'll write me songs 😭😭😭 https://t.co/OS55AN1ttn
Retweeted by Hillary MonahanGet yourself a best friend who not only tolerates your annoying-ass hound dogs but actually likes them enough to di… https://t.co/3LslscP0CBConsidering the state of... everything, let's get a Latinx creative hype train going? If you're Latinx & you make s… https://t.co/lNkcJ9VkNY
Retweeted by Hillary Monahan @tessalationL Thanks!I get people ask a lot “how do you do it all” and I always jokingly say “I cry a lot” but holy heck this explains a… https://t.co/rFGbMRZ7Lm
Retweeted by Hillary MonahanFRIENDS if you have Latinx friends who write, please check on them today. It's been a rough week. Boost their books… https://t.co/US4WVWgfAC
Retweeted by Hillary Monahan @suleikhasnyder *hugs* I am so so sorry. You are so great and one day maybe your brain weasels will let you see t… https://t.co/l73Ti1hUI0 @LMOberleas "What a gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it!" @browneyedgirl65 (I was talking about Star Wars fans if that was your worry.) @browneyedgirl65 Nah, I know you weren't. I'm pretty sure a lot of the lines were regular South-isms, as in a coll… https://t.co/uUmPonft4T @FeetForBrains I did! Was heating it up before I left the salon. XDAs much as it's important for people to Let Others Like Things, it's important to let people Not Like Things In The… https://t.co/HwHlYpWYceIf you're the type of person who has to "correct" folks who don't love on your fandom as much as you do, you're tox… https://t.co/JCOUFsJPzG @SunshineSkitten Those sold BUT I'd happily make you another pair. Also I'm sorry I was slow on the blue bar neckl… https://t.co/C2wd2k3alH @MinervaMori I admittedly wept like a damned baby during it and STILL do even knowing what's coming so. @browneyedgirl65 Oh, probably. But it's a great "collection." "Time marches on, and sooner or later it marches across your face."I forgot how many amazing one-liners came out of Steel Magnolias. "If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me!"The youngest millennials are 24 this year. The oldest millennials are 39 this year. We’re not kids. “Ask a mille… https://t.co/djxyBmuKF1
Retweeted by Hillary Monahan @shanedkeene @BrianKeene *waves from the idiot corner* HAY U GUYZ.A platter full of hands. This spring's ultimate party favor. @lostcitymagi A friend lost her husband at sea and I heard this song right after I found out. I think it's more th… https://t.co/aZYa0Re2h6 @SoupGargoyle Thank you. <3We're @paulGtremblay Stans. Here's a piece by @tdelucci on the horror of ambiguity in #TheCabinattheEndoftheWorld: https://t.co/wHi1UlAMjp
Retweeted by Hillary Monahan @seananmcguire Sure, but if you get limbs, I want acid spit. @seananmcguire If you get "Do you need a sugar daddy" you level up like a Pokemon, I think."I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you." https://t.co/dG9utTFWyf @KnotMagick <3 You are good. Thank you.Anxiety is screeching at the peripherals tonight telling me I'm a lousy human. So I'm eating leftover pad thai, wa… https://t.co/mqOWfgN40J @KnotMagick She didn't say. @countmystars ... her dogs grab them to tell her they have to pee. @ShvetaThakrar @sarahhollowell Two people I ❤ a lot. @whynotgrl666 Be up on the shop tomorrow. :)My mother was advising everyone to hang bells on their doorknobs to keep evil spirits and entities away today. Mon… https://t.co/H7HPClTQHu @zlikeinzorro This is one reason I think you're super cool. 😍 @pinkrocktopus Bread and cheese.Because I've seen a few people thinking otherwise, STAR DAUGHTER is a contemporary YA fantasy. Not space opera (des… https://t.co/gehz1Vy6HL
Retweeted by Hillary Monahan @shanedkeene Thanks!
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