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592 Following   285,700 Followers   4,248 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/7/11


New Track DROPS NOW! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 https://t.co/45pGgBjaVvNetanyahu endorses Biden! https://t.co/bilF1tqPIjMaybe but dog whistles could be huge and they would still emit the same sound? #VoteBidenHarris2020 https://t.co/1ggNZMo1TKShould read ‘loud’ not ‘big’ but I’m with you https://t.co/77yZcAc1QYMorning Food Joke👇 What did the mortgage lender say to his wife who was also a mortgage lender when she picked up… https://t.co/T1wpniIjboShout out to the Poor Boys!Why would a president kid about injecting bleach during a pandemic?
10/23
2020
You can be the most effective voice for friends & family when it comes to discussing voting. Encourage them to… https://t.co/6Verv16RkCAlways love that Rudy proudly wears a Yankees World Series ring (even when he’s trying to masturbate). It’s all you… https://t.co/fuJ7KwJQhD
10/22
2020
👀 https://t.co/4wAd7dUGkEBENJAMIN 2020:Right? https://t.co/kXAGyGMThU
10/21
2020
This Jeffrey Toobin incident reminds me of the times before zoom where people would have to bring a huge 6’ cardboa… https://t.co/r7R6W1LC1J
10/20
2020
Amy Coney Barrett thinks climate change is up for debate. It’s not. https://t.co/7xLc5M5prx
Retweeted by h. jon benjaminThis is not normal, these hearings are not legitimate. Dianne Feinstein gave credibility to the process when the ma… https://t.co/YtJ5uq7MHv
Retweeted by h. jon benjamin
10/17
2020
So all this time he’s just been drunk??? https://t.co/L6aJpq2X3qTrump sputteringChristie admits to being a repugnant scumbag since his mea culpa involves him trusting a testing protocol that serv… https://t.co/SyMIunC8mi
10/16
2020
‘Do you know what that is darling ?’ https://t.co/MJbG5BHB9R
10/15
2020
State legislatures control redistricting AND 2020 is a redistricting year. Don’t let the GOP get away with any mo… https://t.co/LsPv0uW7FAMorning Bird Report! (Cowbird Suite) https://t.co/VbqldE1LOR
10/14
2020
In Michigan we have the purge I think so it was probably part of the purge. Which is legal. https://t.co/nrRpYt3wzn
10/10
2020
Join me and the cast of @archerfxx LIVE tomorrow in the chat during our @NY_Comic_Con panel at 4:15 PT /7:15 ET. It… https://t.co/x1mp5r3lnv
Retweeted by h. jon benjamin
10/9
2020
I don’t need to tell you how important this election is. Please #MakeAPlan to vote early today. Find out more here… https://t.co/e3cRy9qr7jMorning Bird Report! (Eating Crow edition) https://t.co/cNeK0GNU1PPence after debate https://t.co/jeln0by19MSusan...Susan...is there a fly on my hair? Susan? Susan?Debate moderators should make candidates answer the question asked
10/8
2020
When I spoke to the president tonight he told me and I’ll never forget these words, ‘heeeeee....wheeeeeez.....heeee… https://t.co/hjJd42dah2Biden needs to start working on a trump gasping impression
10/6
2020
Do you want a president who’ll spread the virus or one who won’t?! https://t.co/tNLeLHoU0NHe’s selling it now https://t.co/NNFtjNWaKA
10/5
2020
I would stay at least 12 feet away from Republicans right now
10/3
2020
Trump will come back stronger! https://t.co/WwbSwSGkNe https://t.co/9nSwDKC5c2You test more you get more positive cases
10/2
2020
https://t.co/GmlrXXLFbg https://t.co/Rn2eKGyuM9‘(Proud boys) stand by’ - President TrumpCut to a MyPillow commercial pleaseTrump approves of mass testing in the debate hall but not for the rest of us
9/30
2020
Hey I’m in Cleveland and am looking to unload a working earpiece. Contact for info.Also isnt it called the preamble not the prologue ? https://t.co/TLZbBuB7YKEven Doocy hates him https://t.co/IX1IA1770C
9/29
2020
Okay @JeremyRenner and @vindiesel have not responded so I take round 1 by forfeit. My new track Don’t Need To Leave… https://t.co/NscjG4m8y8Super sexy narration on this https://t.co/q3iDIk8AYKhttps://t.co/Ew14K7mkiy https://t.co/bC5GouH9GA
9/28
2020
Trump campaign is going to use this as an argument that coronavirus gets you jacked https://t.co/UFUT6CpTVt
9/27
2020
Hi, are you an American living abroad? Could I ask you one teeny tiny favor please? Vote please? Please vote? We de… https://t.co/gzi2kZsmqp
Retweeted by h. jon benjaminSo @JeremyRenner and @vindiesel dropped music today. Challenge accepted. My new track Fell in Love (with an AI) is… https://t.co/RffXJycvV4
9/26
2020
At my funeral, my psychologist will just nod his head for a bit https://t.co/Q0L5g192EPIt's time to pull out all the stops. Volunteer to talk to voters in key swing states so we can flip them blue and g… https://t.co/KCfYpxWpgz
9/25
2020
From my home town paper with EXCLUSIVE on the record quotes from my parents 😬 https://t.co/gye2jNmapwDespite Paul lapping up trumps a-hole, if teased out his argument implicates trump even more than cuomo since trump… https://t.co/UrEIXax0Mxhttps://t.co/M2wJy7hurQ https://t.co/2b61wD1xAN
9/23
2020
Imagine if POTUS and the Senate GOP had worked as fast on an effective national testing system for #COVID19 as they… https://t.co/GAkL4QelpN
Retweeted by h. jon benjaminHe’s def talking about himself. Trump def gets shot in the ass with enhancers. Verified! https://t.co/cSoudweG3wDeep state https://t.co/QoIeLkmLi1
9/20
2020
Donate: https://t.co/t30c4rqHmJ Register: https://t.co/DHgkri9Jnm Volunteer: https://t.co/spUVBV7TIJ https://t.co/OrrjyD0xGa
9/19
2020
Since I’m not that famous, I like getting in peoples faces and saying, ‘do you not know who I am?’People in Scranton don’t work their butts off? https://t.co/zhQ13nRtTgThe less than a dozen a year claim (probably not true based on cases not reported or falsely reported) aside, syst… https://t.co/8fSR9QhGkE
9/18
2020
Mildly awkward is my sweet spot https://t.co/dYM4Rq9iISCheck out Archer | A Very Special Archer Table Read | FXX and donate to the ACLU 👇👇 https://t.co/cJrFLJtfSI
9/16
2020
I mean if this is an actual family, wow https://t.co/xPocfeFhaZ
9/15
2020
Morning Bird Report! (In which I provide 3 out of 4 possibilities) https://t.co/19ihK6duv5This seems a little impersonal https://t.co/WlFjkr3wTaFingers crossed for next year’s ‘the Christmas bombings’ award https://t.co/jZR9rzytLR
9/14
2020
Join Archer and crew for a VERY special #ArcherFXX table read Sept 15th. What makes it so special? Well, for one, w… https://t.co/6WcnDheHxA
Retweeted by h. jon benjamin
9/12
2020
Hey blame the journalist about not doing anything about a pandemic not the president of the United States who just… https://t.co/kZ5fnnJo4k
9/10
2020
AZ. GA. NC. TX. 4 Swing States 5 Senate Seats $45 to Fire 45. Match me here: https://t.co/g4kKpc1d4q https://t.co/E1YLgbLdGlNo job too small https://t.co/YDmjV3LSbo
9/9
2020
Die free or die https://t.co/Ucj7DlcJElSo socialism is much needed water? https://t.co/1cyF8CWfOJ
9/8
2020
Times are changing old timer https://t.co/WbXL9J9TlwMorning Bird Report! https://t.co/FON00IHB3h
9/6
2020
All those women who accused him of sexual assault provided their names? https://t.co/FResnWqqLn
9/5
2020
Well maybe worst after you https://t.co/PmwFb8qL6ESign up to be a paid poll worker for the November election. #WorkThePolls What else are you doing?… https://t.co/xpaXOIbClz
9/3
2020
I have reached the age where the flashlight on my iPhone is always onA reasonable analogy. If Trump misses a 3-foot putt, he gives it to himself anyway. If police shoot someone in the… https://t.co/0YWDKqrRgR
Retweeted by h. jon benjaminGolfers need to be held accountable for their putts https://t.co/Tkt13LbgvThttps://t.co/TIoUoFRARZ https://t.co/jBta9Wivqz
9/1
2020
Ed Markey for Senate Events · Mobilize https://t.co/3mIXmSo4x3
8/31
2020
Wait till the next one https://t.co/DYenSZnEZGMorning Bird Report! (Shirtless) https://t.co/b4GkzDtRV6
8/30
2020
President Trump I implore you- install conveyer belt ramps so you can safely exit planes without moving your legs.… https://t.co/8Vre8q4gzk
8/29
2020
You did provide me a solid superstructure of what not to do comedy wise and for that I am grateful. As for being sh… https://t.co/KGPm7JsZ2ZWell actually my comedy career and yours started when I crafted a bit to save your rudderless stand up act and that… https://t.co/egC72f809K
8/28
2020
This tweet reminded me of when you tried to make a career in comedy but it didn’t work out because you needed to be… https://t.co/INl5xLKXqdYou also don’t know much about licensing law even though you went to law school (and dropped out) https://t.co/3Q731hvWc4Interesting choice to disparage kid cartoons (one of which you provide a voice on) after claiming to know what defi… https://t.co/wA4t1cTdhS
8/27
2020
This is a false statement. You attacked my art without acumen https://t.co/2xGOeZoDlIIt’s milquetoast https://t.co/Lwo8utM7zAJoe Biden didn’t pre-record https://t.co/XgmT4VMdeu
8/26
2020
Morning Bird Report! (Lonely 💕 Edition) https://t.co/Q1OTT9MYzAFalwell will rise again just watch and see https://t.co/jutU40Do73Roy Blunt’s thought bubble is fucked https://t.co/gHAnboIx9H
8/25
2020
White House rose garden https://t.co/r7C8ZIUZX6
8/22
2020
Standing in solidarity with the union at @bklynfriends against efforts to break them #BFSUnion https://t.co/SLZty8turf
8/21
2020
He will Escape from Dannemora https://t.co/F35MwCfPOk
8/20
2020
the DNC has really pushed the limits of the side camera angle
8/19
2020
Damage done https://t.co/ignkEBUP1A
8/18
2020

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