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just your friendly neighbourhood printer fixer 💰 in tweet = ad

0 Following   391,534 Followers   5,661 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/27/12


[a stackoverflow mod is on their deathbed] > any last words? > yes, see the community guide for writing a good answer.
12/10
2019
just like a palace, my code is best viewed from afaras a self-taught programmer, you just get better at guessing correctly over and over
12/9
2019
me: do you want it done quickly or do you want it done right? manager: yesI feel like Schrödinger would hate A/B testing.
12/6
2019
@lewiseason Lewis you beautiful bastard. Thank you.forgetting to add `sudo` to `vim /etc/hosts`, then being made to :q! so you can re-edit as sudo is the closest thin… https://t.co/bHr2a7Z4bLinterviewer: tell us about some recent code you wrote me: wrote code? I just edit YAML files now.discuss https://t.co/twzfrQYITkWith everyone changing their Twitter names to reflect their political stance, I thought it only reasonable to reciprocate...
12/5
2019
php is fine https://t.co/NLfWo03bUppeople charge not really based on the value they're delivering, but simply what they can get away with charging https://t.co/NLfWo03bUpme when I crash production https://t.co/JKGnAZEcJ2manager: how many days do you need to complete this feature? programmer: n+1
12/4
2019
you think the spam you get is bad? trying being a parody account with a publicly listed email address.
12/3
2019
Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on this flight? Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you Me: Not now Dad Da… https://t.co/QxuT0muQtRhttps://t.co/AH196VpwrL black friday buy some teesThe highs and lows that we experience in programming are so extreme and so fast to come: you're great one minute, y… https://t.co/99cRKhZGWc
11/29
2019
if only people found the crimes I committed using php... https://t.co/ga1kvCOTf8Pro-tip: if you're returning something to Amazon, pick "Incompatible or not useful for intended purpose" as your re… https://t.co/IpvJULIZB9
Retweeted by I Am Devloper - Vote for Pedro
11/26
2019
> there are 100 thousand million stars in the Milky Way Me: ok. > my new website is responsive Me: *resizes browse… https://t.co/GT2UQGnist
11/24
2019
Do you enjoy the Apple TV aerial screensavers? This free download lets you enable all of the aerial videos as your… https://t.co/B4frvzg74M
Retweeted by I Am Devloper - Vote for Pedro"Give me one with lots of pep" https://t.co/2uAAQ6iFCu @LiamBlizard they build startups Liam, whole startups> How I Built My Startup On The Plane y'know they have films and stuff, right?me: *puts own rate up by 25%* also me: $2.99 for an app!?
11/22
2019
back in my day you sent a POST request by actual post
11/21
2019
Tech Hogwarts. Complete the title: Harry Potter and the ________*refresh to see changes* *worked first time* me: https://t.co/zEnEiMaKd1if you wave your hands in front of my face while I'm wearing headphones...whatever comes out of my mouth is your fault.🎵 Darkness falls across the pipeline The midnight deadline is close at hand Containers crawl in search of blood To… https://t.co/UL8LcksAnm
11/20
2019
interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? me: look, I don't even have any plans for after this interview..."Never work for free!" - said by people who have almost certainly worked for free at some point in their career, an… https://t.co/ZdKcB5blDDthe best tutorials are the one's where the author spends the opening paragraph convincing themselves that every oth… https://t.co/qulHqo8ZcZ
11/19
2019
github being down is the closest thing you get to a snow day at school as an adult
11/14
2019
teach a programmer to fish, and they'll go to the fishmonger and buy fishHeisenberg's Uncertainty Principle for software: The more you try and understand Kubernetes, the more impossible it becomes to do so.There are 3 certainties in life: • Death • Taxes • "Is there an Android version?"TIL Chrome has a "Distill Page" button you can enable via chrome://flags/#enable-reader-mode. Akin to Safari's "Rea… https://t.co/x7ijntFrMx
Retweeted by I Am Devloper - Vote for Pedro
11/13
2019
"today I mostly worked on PR reviews" = "I didn't really do anything meaningful today but I need to say something for my update"
11/12
2019
y'all ruined it. too many replies. companies looking for devs - just look at the replies to the above tweet instead.Any devs looking for work? If you add a portfolio/github/whatever link to a reply, I’ll retweet some of them.
11/11
2019
our people are dropping like flieshttps://t.co/S7Hixq3e6k well.you know you've arrived as a technology/platform/library/framework/language when someone writes a "Maybe You Don't Need X" blog postFrom today to Sunday only, get 10% off all items using code HARV3ST at checkout https://t.co/AH196V7VAd https://t.co/XZX4FmlNic
11/7
2019
Secure web server: > Email/password please. Insecure web server: > I just don't know if I'm good enough...am I?
11/6
2019
Hey Pals 👋 I’ve just popped @FEChallengeClub on @ProductHunt, so it would be awesome if you could stop by and give… https://t.co/CJEgdzaBqZ
Retweeted by I Am Devloper - Vote for Pedro
11/5
2019
oh you're a developer? name every code
10/25
2019
Genuine question: Why is _anyone_ following this account: https://t.co/vhng2CykVV ?Trying to find the costs on SAAS website. https://t.co/S6uoWvKsYY
Retweeted by I Am Devloper - Vote for PedroThe NSA? https://t.co/upx2JisvSY
10/24
2019
saying goodbye to a domain I had grand plans for https://t.co/6Etc3Smpggno-one: literally no-one: MacOS Catalina: Don't Allow or Ok[talking with an English company] > this is our VP of Engineering me: cool, who's the President of Engineering th… https://t.co/WCiYA9QLk4
10/22
2019
year 1: hoping and praying no-one asks you to do anything on the big scary command line year 5: if I have to leave… https://t.co/BXhWsooPMsEvery NDA should have a footnote: "you also can't tell your spouse about this. no I mean it, really. don't."
10/18
2019
From today to Saturday only, get 10% off all items using code CNDYCRN at checkout https://t.co/AH196V7VAd https://t.co/mGSczNEO5z"Learn Kubernetes in 128 easy steps!"
10/17
2019
I wrote a song about the history of web dev, as I remember it! 🥁🥁🥁🥁 🎤 It's the end of web dev as we know it 🎶 And… https://t.co/Rh9U7uUE1e
Retweeted by I Am Devloper - Vote for PedroTwo words, three syllables: blockchain.the average length of one sprint, jeez https://t.co/13Xby0Y1jv> My role is very much at the intersection of engineering and sales* *I don't do either particularly well, so I have this pseudo job
10/16
2019
for halloween, I'm coming as the technical debt ticket you've shoved in the backlog for the past 6 months
10/15
2019
dear SaaS companies with a sub-domain for your support site, but the company logo links to the homepage of the supp… https://t.co/PLWttj4KJr
10/14
2019
You either die creating a few button classes, or live long enough to call it a design system."between 1-3 business days" = "we don't know either"me: lets have a look ar- Catalina: Don't Allow or Ok me: ok Catalina: Don't Allow or Ok me: lets check some ema- Ca… https://t.co/KT5phBUWVc
10/11
2019
> count up all the hours you've spent in your life waiting for code to compile me: https://t.co/1xQJ90arsywhat's the longest biztalk sentence you can make using only acronyms?i got 99 problems and meetings are all of 'em.“Let’s go round the group so everyone can stand up and introduce themselves!” This behaviour was not created by a developer.
10/10
2019
“I bought a cup of coffee, I live here now” - freelancers in coffee shops
10/9
2019
monolith in the streets but a microservice in the sheetsbashful sneezy happy dopey sleepy grumpy that just about covers the range of emotions I go through during sprint planning
10/8
2019
1. First (proper) language: PHP 2. Had difficulties: PHP 3: Most used: PHP 4: Totally hate: PHP 5: Loved: PHP 6: For beginners: PHPimporting the whole of jQuery only to use .addClass is like downloading the entire Beatles discography but only lis… https://t.co/rs2vfR12Gqgoogling an issue and finding your own question on stack overflow from 6 months before https://t.co/pG3bFETPNY
10/7
2019
they quit https://t.co/FlK2Q9B7w8ever just want to jack development in, throw your computer away, go live in the woods, build a fi- oh, it's compil… https://t.co/zqgta1L1AC
10/4
2019
Every single Zoom meeting ever. https://t.co/fKeHlheray
Retweeted by I Am Devloper - Vote for Pedro
10/3
2019
All is fair in code review and war.Sunday retro? From @bruised_blood https://t.co/wlAQVJKT7R @GeneticGenesis think how that empty git repo felt PhilI'm scared someone's gonna dig up an old tweet of mine from 2013 where I said I once used PHPon halloween, you're gonna be visited by the spirits of all the side project domains you let expire
10/2
2019
@SiliconHBO I'm ready.Origin Story. https://t.co/0rLOaOMjDP> what would you run back in to save if your house was on fire? me: well my dotfiles are backed up to github so I'm good.> 10 Hours of White Noise for Sleep *30 seconds of ads 5 hours in* YouTube.
10/1
2019
@bruised_blood https://t.co/HEednhGbgL https://t.co/dbZuGs8nkX @finnhvman @bruised_blood we all didnew avatar courtesy of the ever-talented @bruised_blood @iamdevloper We don't make bugs, just happy little features.
Retweeted by I Am Devloper - Vote for Pedro"We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents" Bob Ross would be terrible at DevOps.Genius HTML/CSS intro tutorial. https://t.co/iMQuY38Mje
9/30
2019
Enjoying the outrage to this tweet, us self-taught devs can be defensive at times.being a self-taught programmer is like applying to be a lifeguard but not being able to swim > I'll just learnt this as I go…
9/27
2019
@claeusdev exactlySTOP making fun of different js frameworks Vue is FAST React is POPULAR Svelte is COOL Polymer is BEAUTIFUL An… https://t.co/v6UrdKXzNM
9/25
2019

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