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Ian Berriman @ianberriman The Valley Of Despair

D-grade work unit for @SFXmagazine, since 2002. Bits for @TotalFilm, @ElectronicMagUK. @TOTPFacts tweeter. Helped save @HullCity's name. I am NOT a Merry Man.

627 Following   2,755 Followers   53,063 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/29/09


@MrsSteveMOBrien https://t.co/Kk1BBWn1zHHappy 70th to Jonathan Richman, unwitting progenitor of one of Legs & Co's most literal routines. https://t.co/VihWcvaWjt
Retweeted by Ian Berriman🚨 | ON THIS DAY: 20 years ago, John Prescott punched a voter in Rhyl after he threw an egg at him Via… https://t.co/8tyr8WN31M
Retweeted by Ian Berriman @prkirkley Pretty sure the book of them is now so thick that this will be listed as a psychological disorder. Extra… https://t.co/Uw2l3RqlJe @senrab_nala The restoration is good. The film is good, but also quite mental, plot-wise (and acting styles, unsurprisingly)Watched: https://t.co/l6OR7tpgo2Clicked on this thinking "Well, I've got it narrowed down to Kill The Bill or Lockdown" and was way off. #Bristol https://t.co/gYcjxGkoKL @prkirkley Does she also order battered fish and chipped potatoes twice? #callback
5/16
2021
@bobby This genuinely was a Christmas present for a girlfriend. I can supply a witness statement if necessary. https://t.co/8WHoO6UoPvHmmmmmm https://t.co/46UF1iZIb9Stay overnight in an abandoned psychiatric hospital. https://t.co/HFl4dwSZ82This is mental. https://t.co/5jqCcOZsig @CatzCaroline 's Delia Derbyshire - the myths and the legendary tapes - BBC4 - 9PM - Sunday… https://t.co/qLYEf5Tlup
Retweeted by Ian BerrimanDavid (@weddingpresent) scores 7/10 in an @NME quiz about TWP: “I remember sitting with Mark E. Smith in a pub once… https://t.co/lX8DIy9gCg
Retweeted by Ian BerrimanAll the sports equipment I could want (after about 12, none), use of school’s BBC computer, access to photocopier t… https://t.co/oDaCsdS8l5 @ellenstarbuck A 3-D printer. Then get a refund on the original 3-D printer. https://t.co/KSO84JxbCTNever. Drop. The Knife. https://t.co/qVoV4XsSXP @Slippery_Jack @SarahDobbs @AndyLonsdale7 Stick with the 17 episodes of The Prisoner. @TheSevateem Just spell it Gallifree like the Tom Baker pronunciation.
5/15
2021
@edgarwright I’ve only just realised someone’s photoshopped smut into that. @edgarwright Same energy. https://t.co/hkTP0PUGMzOverestimation. https://t.co/JhPpG7SxyCFrom the latest edition of Private Eye - pick up your copy over the weekend. https://t.co/OmLrPHXils
Retweeted by Ian Berrimanhttps://t.co/2GAaNxM3Ro https://t.co/Pe9rhyFO1o
Retweeted by Ian BerrimanYeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah not touching that debate with five bargepoles gaffer-taped together.I didn’t realise that in my 60’s people would be shouting ‘Of Course They Fucking Do’ at me. #TimsTwitterListeningParty
Retweeted by Ian Berriman @stephenkb I rather imagine 99.9% of the electorate won't "look back on last weekend" at all. Shadow Cabinet reshuf… https://t.co/NMsd9BFHDUI know that doesn't make sense because this actually does come from India, take it up with my unconscious ok?Could not read this without thinking of "Mr Everything Comes From India" from Goodness Gracious Me. https://t.co/IovLx64hJu @chloeingram To be fair my original tweet was me (Labour member) taking the piss out of a Labour MP, and I had my t… https://t.co/2taIGAjuEs @chloeingram You're right of course, I need to put some thought into working out a sliding scale. 😉 @hellothisisivan Oh god, such a ballache. PLUS he has a name EVERYONE pronounces incorrectly. "Er, no, I think you… https://t.co/lBFLJX7WxXNow trying to crunch the maths on whether having 5 likes, but one is by a Tory MP, means I actually have about -495… https://t.co/Z5Zq29W85bAnd here's Colchester's Modern English standing about in oilseed rape in 1990 (thanks @littletnoee). I should proba… https://t.co/YSMeUldjyRBREAKING NEWS: Glasgow's @TeenCanteen have sensibly capitalised on the marketability and (thanks to this thread) cu… https://t.co/g9dodQEbBN
5/14
2021
PREMIERE tomorrow Fri-14-May 9pm DEATH LINE (1972) #DonaldPleasence #ChristopherLee https://t.co/9NiJA2Ih4E
Retweeted by Ian Berrimanhttps://t.co/4ZCuTftO6D
Retweeted by Ian Berriman @The_X_Stitcher Never ask an open question on the internet. @jon_trickett I've crunched the maths and the average human lives for 692,040 hours. So (taking into account the hi… https://t.co/xE5UuZZmKSLatest issue of @ElectronicMagUK sound has arrived 🎯 This month's issue includes a Can 7" single on purple vinyl 🟣… https://t.co/Z4YWh1EVe8
Retweeted by Ian Berriman @crinolinerobot This morning I was chuckling to my myself "Thank god, that didn't happen 8 days ago". Ouch. 😬Stumbled upon this while doing a bit of video nasties research, and obviously I had to buy one.… https://t.co/vKKs6ExclW @SaucySeventies Though I would question why he sees the biker gang arriving at 0.07, and five seconds later decides… https://t.co/hQoDapEpuq @SaucySeventies After googling Clapton Plastics and doing a lot of squinting, my best guess is that Ladder Man is a… https://t.co/n8fuE3c67q @james_blue_cat Good luck coping with tomorrow's Netflix announcement about their new 10-part series with the same storyline.My favourite https://t.co/yoUuUQzQRy https://t.co/uYJ1Rumpjmhttps://t.co/0oEVbpYrjD
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5/13
2021
Haircut tomorrow. Looking forward to no longer resembling Ronnie Biggs circa 1978.This was one of my paper ideas and some guy on Reddit just went and did it https://t.co/R7fwHUf8xc https://t.co/wYFgMMP5kb
Retweeted by Ian BerrimanStrawberry Switchblade, Muswell Hill. https://t.co/BcTVnNfqB5
Retweeted by Ian BerrimanWed 12th May 2021. Dear my diary, Finally located ground zero when it came to the odd smell emanating from behind… https://t.co/jhf987hb4P
Retweeted by Ian BerrimanDon't miss this upcoming @BBCFOUR4 programme about Delia Derbyshire on May 16th https://t.co/3n2NispBbT And don't… https://t.co/fVh8pMG0AL
Retweeted by Ian BerrimanStop that pigeon now https://t.co/8MylK5ssnp @alextohme It's more likely that you've lost grasp of reality, Alexandra. @vickie19761 This won’t be so funny once the seagulls realise that human flesh is even better than sandwiches.
5/12
2021
@DrMatthewSweet @BBCRadio3 https://t.co/GXT4HgZHzaI presume all those who were totally opposed to vaccine passports for access to pubs last week will be totally oppo… https://t.co/PSjclrp6ma
Retweeted by Ian Berriman @MayorofLondon I hope you kept the receipt.Just booked a cinema ticket.Just hanging around: Ralph Bates takes his lunch break standing on director Jimmy Sangster’s shoulders on the set o… https://t.co/BdeuTYTPFn
Retweeted by Ian Berriman
5/11
2021
@lisanandy Just leaving this here for some of the shrieking twits in the replies. https://t.co/y2MHUbPL2l @nypost Amazing, can’t believe that woman in the blanket is him. @CNBC https://t.co/J0eSlNrGD5
Retweeted by Ian BerrimanSound miserable, like the rest of us. @twlldun Things being old doesn't mean they're good or valuable, anyway - just look at us miserable bastards.I can't really deal with film reviewers who always sound breezily cheerful, like they're just about to skip off int… https://t.co/Bcfg1MyNKW
5/10
2021
If Columbo were anime: https://t.co/G88kiEIc5J
Retweeted by Ian Berriman @simonblackwell Or maybe Ian Berriman, 1973-1947 / Pioneer of time travel. @simonblackwell Ian Berriman, 1973-20,937."And you'd think the locals would be keen on the redistribution of wealth" https://t.co/XkljBJeaku https://t.co/tcZUqD7H6fhttps://t.co/DFd6h9YqdN
Retweeted by Ian Berriman @OldRoberts953 I literally had to google "Shadow Home Secretary" yesterday. I think they must keep him locked in a cupboard. @darren_scott AWWWWWW COME 'ERE YA BIG LUGWatching: https://t.co/2XHgJxzMqm @MattParish76 Don’t try and confuse me with science. @MattParish76 I’m still alive, which I think you’ll find is conclusive proof it was good strategy. https://t.co/bD9OG6TudE @missdaisyfdoo You don’t know where those shelf-stackers have been.Cc @YouHadOneJob https://t.co/YRR3aDWDRH @220_d_92_20 @BritainElects @OxfordshireCC Or a duel with muskets I think, if you check the small print.What’s the Covid-era habit you’re going to find hardest to break? For me it’s a toss-up between unnecessarily washi… https://t.co/DjybGX2PpLGone off the Yorkshire Party a bit now I’ve realised they’re based in Harrogate. @RichNeville Congratulations. Though Marvin Rees can just overrule anything of course...In the UK, the 7 day rolling average of Covid-19 deaths has fallen to single digits for the first time since September 7th.
Retweeted by Ian Berriman @TristanCorkPost Mad Max Thunderdome to decide it.Congratulations also to Tessa on being absolutely textbook Green-looking here. Lovely work. https://t.co/aijRruXNQUArm wrestle for it guys. https://t.co/6sCqN75whPQuite possible the Greens could get an MP in Bristol West next GE (boundary changes permitting), if they could just… https://t.co/NPiU2WOHC8Nerding out over the Yorkshire Party coming third in the West Yorkshire mayoral election, with nearly a 10% share o… https://t.co/Gn2dU0QA76Oh good, another Northern by-election in a Labour seat soon. (incumbent Labour MP is now West Yorkshire mayor) https://t.co/97jfkNxpjF @MrKenShabby <Welsh assembly pedantry>Also Neil should probably have both hands up here. </Welsh assembly pedantry> @mrsosodeaf It’s on the old DVD of “The Two Doctors”, but what you’ve seen on YouTube will be the full thing. It’s… https://t.co/CUH1O60ixVBristol Council’s gone No Overall Control then... https://t.co/S6mW2d8AIR @BritainElects Did a Lib Dem councillor garrotte a kitten or something?!Yep. Not even close. https://t.co/Nb13Ou2oPiWatching with mum: https://t.co/eggQzpvGaQFucksake, London. https://t.co/dHs1BYOV5RJust tweeting "What are Labour saying about THIS?!?" rather than googling "THIS+Labour" is a surprisingly common syndrome.A guard of honour for the champions! 👏 #EFL | @HullCity https://t.co/J1nTRoM94H
Retweeted by Ian Berriman @Natt I just throw it up in the air and swing a tennis racket. @JDBakewell Er, this? https://t.co/qHz69jwHjC
5/9
2021

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