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Critic, journalist. Novels w @morrbeat: 'Nailed It!' (July 2019) & 'The Hot Guy'. Nonfic: 'Out of Shape'. Film/TV reviews & essays: https://t.co/Cv8SiDePiw

830 Following   3,838 Followers   49,915 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/2/10


Went on Instagram, everyone’s stories bragging about their nice dinners. I had Sadness Bowl (flavoured tuna, mayo,… https://t.co/tbRYtZO5s4 @annaspargoryan Oh me too, it is the first time in my life that I have ever felt neat and organisedThis show infuriates me because Jane and her fellow Mild Types do precisely nothing to justify the huge opportuniti… https://t.co/iOqpG7Sccr @annaspargoryan In a world gone mad, I take the pants off and put them in a drawer, and then I put the undies in a laundry hamper @annaspargoryan I have never understood this phenomenon; I must be the only person in the world who takes their und… https://t.co/AVqbTdyBn9I was just about to go back to uni to do honours after a year of being depressed, working in a market research call… https://t.co/5tZ0xE0t2tI tried to ask Siri which Japanese animal goes “pon pon” but because I made him Irish he keeps thinking I said “pun… https://t.co/QWyCFKDe06 @dontattempt @abcmelbourne @abcsydney Saving Privet Ryan @dontattempt @abcmelbourne @abcsydney A History of Violets @dontattempt @abcmelbourne @abcsydney Daisies of Thunder @dontattempt @abcmelbourne @abcsydney Ferny Girl @mrconnorobrien @ElizabethFlux christ, I did this in 2015 and it was devas-tea-tingFor those too young to get my ancient reference: https://t.co/n2grNCntpsA friend was talking about creating a tax spreadsheet to replace her previous whiteboard system. "A whiteboard! Wha… https://t.co/sAqdTRinBYHow powerful is Kate Turabian, with a whole citation system named after her
2/24
2020
@James_Jeffrey His song about his cat is one of the worst Queen songs ever and I get quite emotional thinking that… https://t.co/pGeet8gk4sOh shit that was not meant to be posted on main, but anyway Freddie would approve I guessNew Queen-themed #stupidcatsong, ‘We Will Pat You’: You got fur on your face Big disgrace Kickin’ your litter all over the place @thebooksdesk I cannot wait until the book comes out and the backchannels light up that THIS is the book🧵 Love in a Time of #CoronaVirus: some of my students from China told me a story of a delivery guy who got stuck i… https://t.co/9vINVBzfBM
Retweeted by Mel CampbellHonestly I have been ruined by @TadhgFleming's Alepsa videos, because my brother is watching 'Pirates of the Caribb… https://t.co/8F6Lp8jG1Z
2/23
2020
I love that @ABCClassic marks composers’ birthdays. This week I heard Martin Buzacott announce that so-and-so was c… https://t.co/oZoO8iXG04 @beth_blanchard What is this, ‘Showgirls’?At last I understand ‘gay twins’ https://t.co/rHU35UVj8O @AshleyLeahy @lisaslifelately See my reply to Lisa @lisaslifelately If you look at photos, it’s clearly set hair. The curls are too smooth and defined, and have a fla… https://t.co/6X5YKjhnAf @_budgie Looks quinceyWtf has happened to Jamie’s hair? Looks worse than late-season Poldark #OutlanderS5 https://t.co/fcFah4qt98 @marleejaneward Oh no, I didn’t know AFP had a kidWhen I was a kid I thought Shirley Temple’s hair was naturally curly @sarahlovescali I tried to Google it and got stuff like “best hairstyles for 35-year-old women” @sarahlovescali Link pls?(Sound🔉) Who did this? 🤣🤣https://t.co/Vst3WH14A6
Retweeted by Mel Campbell
2/22
2020
@therealcyclone This looks like a Scientology personality testThis would be an interesting exercise in Australia https://t.co/v5N8V5EzsA @EmmaJWestwood has found an onion in a public phone box and asked "What does this mean?" and I adore her mate's rep… https://t.co/W9yQkTpb8j
2/21
2020
The Bored Dog's owner's boyfriend moved in yesterday, bringing his own small dog. But rather than making the Bored… https://t.co/OWqpvs8JZAhttps://t.co/4Js3aLDzoz @thetowncrier We all know what journalists are likeABC: Still Number Four! https://t.co/4Js3aLDzoz https://t.co/bQXHQcj3s1This, in the replies, had me CACKLN https://t.co/RXBuhMSEvFMarble-ous https://t.co/EOsZN1mepZ @alanna_mck In my novel ‘The Hot Guy’ we had a joke where Dropsy and The Vapours are characters in a YA paranormal… https://t.co/nAkimHdVNGThis reminds me of @morrbeat’s & my satire of paranormal YA, ‘The Consumption Saga’, in our novel #TheHotGuy. Our j… https://t.co/LtyPdOQKmc @alanna_mck I have so many questions about this! Cancer… and Wolf? Planet? @dontattempt Probably the Duke of BuckinghamAre people on Goodreads taunting me by liking the fact I marked as ‘to read’ a book called ‘How to Do Nothing’ (but… https://t.co/W4t1qGURA7The Daily Mail owes this legend its entire business https://t.co/X4hfaIsUguHas anyone else in Melbourne noticed heaps of magpies around today?Good news; Dracula's back. https://t.co/GURLoJaaWj
Retweeted by Mel CampbellYou know the moment of rage and solidarity expressed by #MeToo has been robbed of its power when you read some blan… https://t.co/hGpi06d7Kk @rissless now you mention him, I would be happy to have him as my dad also @morrbeat What’s really tragic is that my eyes leapt to “force ghost” https://t.co/VLngfRcUfM @Bachtobacharach My mother had a Nana Mouskouri phase in the '70s – the heavy-framed glasses; the long straight hairwell that was an embarrassing tweetWhich actors were (or perhaps still are) your fantasy parents? Ever since 'Home Alone' I sort of wished Catherine O… https://t.co/b2RKqH4pNT
2/20
2020
@glenndunks I bought an Enya one! @kldwarsame I never know if I’m making myself ridiculous by responding earnestly to your tweets but what I’ve alway… https://t.co/uvndIoIdLv @glenndunks Probably also acts like Deep Forest and Enigma would not enjoy top-40 radio play or be included on 100% Hits compilations @AndersFurze What can I say, your brand is strong @alanna_mck By which I mean, the level and detail of commentary gives the game away @alanna_mck What professor has time to be correcting students’ grammar or making comments this detailed? My pay for… https://t.co/zOem2qXk6JI dreamed that I was at a ‘Call Me By Your Name’-themed sleepover in a concert hall with @AndersFurze and some othe… https://t.co/P45e7EkmqsIt’s always the way https://t.co/DoM4pVSV22 @ChrisHarrigans Could be fair dealing as “criticism and review” https://t.co/Hlna6MiKwiJe suis le chat de chips https://t.co/6FhvwylBme @ChrisHarrigans Aren’t cover images supplied by the publisher in which case permission is implied?Just tried to ironically sing the Danny Elfman ‘Batman’ melody when I saw a bat, but I’m tipss and I think I hummed… https://t.co/BYkM0bnuS2 @AndersFurze Bridget Jones’s Diary @dangolding Well so says you, whose wise feedback got incorporated, lolSince the "little a salami" meme came out, I have eaten so much salami, slice by individual slice, as a treatIn its first decade of life, Wikipedia appeared in as many punch lines as headlines. Today, Wikipedia is the eighth… https://t.co/TiuWC49XRM
Retweeted by Mel CampbellI have never voted for a candidate in my life. But I will be voting for Bernie Sanders in the democratic primary… https://t.co/2ap63tAw0L
Retweeted by Mel Campbell
2/19
2020
@PaulinaOlszanka CRINGE jeez I hope their work is actually quality and actually lasts. This isn’t a shitty renovati… https://t.co/nTPNtADmm1 @piratequeen1989 @ULTweets Scienceworks, eh… so it's TRUE SCIENCE @stephharmon G's need turned out to be simple: he wanted me to scoop out his litter box before he would use itGraham is miaowing urgently at me from the hallway, and I'm like, "What is it, buddy?" and wishing I could understa… https://t.co/CiN5VDCn3bThis makes me want to write ‘unfurl’ in everything I write, purely out of spite https://t.co/YWlaKFlCd1 @paisleywomble @ULTweets yep, that's what I was told tooAnother rainy-day observation from my window overlooking the street: people tend to hold their umbrellas vertically… https://t.co/JgQKkRBs1yDoes anyone else do that thing of counting the time between a lightning flash and a thunderclap to 'figure out how… https://t.co/orbbRurIMcit's raining a bit at the moment, lol @JoLucyBradley It’s good that the cast of IT are getting work @FourRedShoes When people beg an established brand to make something they want to buy (see Gorman & extended sizing… https://t.co/f1acb7oxwC
2/18
2020
@FourRedShoes I am also sympathetic to Frank Churchill, who’s painted as a villainous flirt but his future living d… https://t.co/QEjdsiy5fdI can’t believe this guy’s life fell apart https://t.co/GV3B4bTSyF
Retweeted by Mel Campbell @EmmaViskic Ooh, where are you going on your cruise? @patstokes @QandA You know that piece-of-shit show would never actually act in good faith! As if they’re actually i… https://t.co/KYbyemlNFa @samvanzweden I wrote a book telling people not to feel bad about themselves if their clothes don’t fit, and still… https://t.co/MPciDcvn7Z @_budgie Deed pollSomeone I follow on Goodreads is reading a ‘military romance’ whose sexy hero is named Rear Admiral Dag Creasy, a n… https://t.co/OoZ4k8kAQJ @RobertGuyDavis I’m having one of those days too. I have been torturing myself with the thought: “what if I am the female Schembri?”Alepsa, play ‘Feelem Goo’ by Mahka Boobens @pennymodra I thought about that today! Betrayed?I’ve never been able to get away with that hairstyle where you flip the hair from one side over to the other creati… https://t.co/kEGF3k48eM @elleameno_p hahaha! thanks! but it was a lot of work and turned a fun thing into drudgery. wtf is with this urge t… https://t.co/ntYhi0AxLq @lisaslifelately Yeah, I'm always really strict with this, but the trouble is that the 'they' is so ingrained in sp… https://t.co/P8sNsdNfIL"Everyone loves a beanbag! Seductively comfortable… yet nigh-impossible to get up with any dignity. Reading, listen… https://t.co/BTWB7NSnbEWhen I moved into my current house there was a "No Junk Mail" sign on the door, but I recently ran into the junk ma… https://t.co/9fPYlVIpxzoh no, it's 4pmwich time – you know, when you forgot to have lunch so you have to make some crappy sandwich to tide you over
2/17
2020

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