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Critic, journalist. Novels w @morrbeat: 'Nailed It!' (July 2019) & 'The Hot Guy'. Nonfic: 'Out of Shape'. Film/TV reviews & essays:

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Joined Twitter 2/2/10

Went on Instagram, everyone’s stories bragging about their nice dinners. I had Sadness Bowl (flavoured tuna, mayo,… @annaspargoryan Oh me too, it is the first time in my life that I have ever felt neat and organisedThis show infuriates me because Jane and her fellow Mild Types do precisely nothing to justify the huge opportuniti… @annaspargoryan In a world gone mad, I take the pants off and put them in a drawer, and then I put the undies in a laundry hamper @annaspargoryan I have never understood this phenomenon; I must be the only person in the world who takes their und… was just about to go back to uni to do honours after a year of being depressed, working in a market research call… tried to ask Siri which Japanese animal goes “pon pon” but because I made him Irish he keeps thinking I said “pun… @dontattempt @abcmelbourne @abcsydney Saving Privet Ryan @dontattempt @abcmelbourne @abcsydney A History of Violets @dontattempt @abcmelbourne @abcsydney Daisies of Thunder @dontattempt @abcmelbourne @abcsydney Ferny Girl @mrconnorobrien @ElizabethFlux christ, I did this in 2015 and it was devas-tea-tingFor those too young to get my ancient reference: friend was talking about creating a tax spreadsheet to replace her previous whiteboard system. "A whiteboard! Wha… powerful is Kate Turabian, with a whole citation system named after her
@James_Jeffrey His song about his cat is one of the worst Queen songs ever and I get quite emotional thinking that… shit that was not meant to be posted on main, but anyway Freddie would approve I guessNew Queen-themed #stupidcatsong, ‘We Will Pat You’: You got fur on your face Big disgrace Kickin’ your litter all over the place @thebooksdesk I cannot wait until the book comes out and the backchannels light up that THIS is the book🧵 Love in a Time of #CoronaVirus: some of my students from China told me a story of a delivery guy who got stuck i…
Retweeted by Mel CampbellHonestly I have been ruined by @TadhgFleming's Alepsa videos, because my brother is watching 'Pirates of the Caribb…
I love that @ABCClassic marks composers’ birthdays. This week I heard Martin Buzacott announce that so-and-so was c… @beth_blanchard What is this, ‘Showgirls’?At last I understand ‘gay twins’ @AshleyLeahy @lisaslifelately See my reply to Lisa @lisaslifelately If you look at photos, it’s clearly set hair. The curls are too smooth and defined, and have a fla… @_budgie Looks quinceyWtf has happened to Jamie’s hair? Looks worse than late-season Poldark #OutlanderS5 @marleejaneward Oh no, I didn’t know AFP had a kidWhen I was a kid I thought Shirley Temple’s hair was naturally curly @sarahlovescali I tried to Google it and got stuff like “best hairstyles for 35-year-old women” @sarahlovescali Link pls?(Sound🔉) Who did this? 🤣🤣
Retweeted by Mel Campbell
@therealcyclone This looks like a Scientology personality testThis would be an interesting exercise in Australia @EmmaJWestwood has found an onion in a public phone box and asked "What does this mean?" and I adore her mate's rep…
The Bored Dog's owner's boyfriend moved in yesterday, bringing his own small dog. But rather than making the Bored… @thetowncrier We all know what journalists are likeABC: Still Number Four!, in the replies, had me CACKLN @alanna_mck In my novel ‘The Hot Guy’ we had a joke where Dropsy and The Vapours are characters in a YA paranormal… reminds me of @morrbeat’s & my satire of paranormal YA, ‘The Consumption Saga’, in our novel #TheHotGuy. Our j… @alanna_mck I have so many questions about this! Cancer… and Wolf? Planet? @dontattempt Probably the Duke of BuckinghamAre people on Goodreads taunting me by liking the fact I marked as ‘to read’ a book called ‘How to Do Nothing’ (but… Daily Mail owes this legend its entire business anyone else in Melbourne noticed heaps of magpies around today?Good news; Dracula's back.
Retweeted by Mel CampbellYou know the moment of rage and solidarity expressed by #MeToo has been robbed of its power when you read some blan… @rissless now you mention him, I would be happy to have him as my dad also @morrbeat What’s really tragic is that my eyes leapt to “force ghost” @Bachtobacharach My mother had a Nana Mouskouri phase in the '70s – the heavy-framed glasses; the long straight hairwell that was an embarrassing tweetWhich actors were (or perhaps still are) your fantasy parents? Ever since 'Home Alone' I sort of wished Catherine O…
@glenndunks I bought an Enya one! @kldwarsame I never know if I’m making myself ridiculous by responding earnestly to your tweets but what I’ve alway… @glenndunks Probably also acts like Deep Forest and Enigma would not enjoy top-40 radio play or be included on 100% Hits compilations @AndersFurze What can I say, your brand is strong @alanna_mck By which I mean, the level and detail of commentary gives the game away @alanna_mck What professor has time to be correcting students’ grammar or making comments this detailed? My pay for… dreamed that I was at a ‘Call Me By Your Name’-themed sleepover in a concert hall with @AndersFurze and some othe…’s always the way @ChrisHarrigans Could be fair dealing as “criticism and review” suis le chat de chips @ChrisHarrigans Aren’t cover images supplied by the publisher in which case permission is implied?Just tried to ironically sing the Danny Elfman ‘Batman’ melody when I saw a bat, but I’m tipss and I think I hummed… @AndersFurze Bridget Jones’s Diary @dangolding Well so says you, whose wise feedback got incorporated, lolSince the "little a salami" meme came out, I have eaten so much salami, slice by individual slice, as a treatIn its first decade of life, Wikipedia appeared in as many punch lines as headlines. Today, Wikipedia is the eighth…
Retweeted by Mel CampbellI have never voted for a candidate in my life. But I will be voting for Bernie Sanders in the democratic primary…
Retweeted by Mel Campbell
@PaulinaOlszanka CRINGE jeez I hope their work is actually quality and actually lasts. This isn’t a shitty renovati… @piratequeen1989 @ULTweets Scienceworks, eh… so it's TRUE SCIENCE @stephharmon G's need turned out to be simple: he wanted me to scoop out his litter box before he would use itGraham is miaowing urgently at me from the hallway, and I'm like, "What is it, buddy?" and wishing I could understa… makes me want to write ‘unfurl’ in everything I write, purely out of spite @paisleywomble @ULTweets yep, that's what I was told tooAnother rainy-day observation from my window overlooking the street: people tend to hold their umbrellas vertically… anyone else do that thing of counting the time between a lightning flash and a thunderclap to 'figure out how…'s raining a bit at the moment, lol @JoLucyBradley It’s good that the cast of IT are getting work @FourRedShoes When people beg an established brand to make something they want to buy (see Gorman & extended sizing…
@FourRedShoes I am also sympathetic to Frank Churchill, who’s painted as a villainous flirt but his future living d… can’t believe this guy’s life fell apart
Retweeted by Mel Campbell @EmmaViskic Ooh, where are you going on your cruise? @patstokes @QandA You know that piece-of-shit show would never actually act in good faith! As if they’re actually i… @samvanzweden I wrote a book telling people not to feel bad about themselves if their clothes don’t fit, and still… @_budgie Deed pollSomeone I follow on Goodreads is reading a ‘military romance’ whose sexy hero is named Rear Admiral Dag Creasy, a n… @RobertGuyDavis I’m having one of those days too. I have been torturing myself with the thought: “what if I am the female Schembri?”Alepsa, play ‘Feelem Goo’ by Mahka Boobens @pennymodra I thought about that today! Betrayed?I’ve never been able to get away with that hairstyle where you flip the hair from one side over to the other creati… @elleameno_p hahaha! thanks! but it was a lot of work and turned a fun thing into drudgery. wtf is with this urge t… @lisaslifelately Yeah, I'm always really strict with this, but the trouble is that the 'they' is so ingrained in sp…"Everyone loves a beanbag! Seductively comfortable… yet nigh-impossible to get up with any dignity. Reading, listen… I moved into my current house there was a "No Junk Mail" sign on the door, but I recently ran into the junk ma… no, it's 4pmwich time – you know, when you forgot to have lunch so you have to make some crappy sandwich to tide you over