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Jay Whittaker @ItsJayWhittaker LAX➡️ SLC ➡️ BOS🔁

#Comedian/#Actor from @Geekshow /Bird Lover/Human Tolerator IG: @itsjaywhittaker

3,366 Following   7,213 Followers   24,956 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/3/11

It’s a special kind of cruelty that more protestors in Louisville tonight will be charged than men who murdered Breonna Taylor
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Y’ALL. I came home from the store and my neighbor (Dennis) was waiting outside his yard asking if “Mr. Wilson” coul… started a new 12 week workout program. Tryna get hot for the winter solstice.Me: I love my mom Twitter: wow not everyone gets to have a mom. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about moms. just something to think about
Retweeted by Jay Whittakerall female reboot of passion of the christ
Retweeted by Jay Whittaker2020 is that one person that who never clears their browser history after surfing Pornhub on a PC. @Jardozer Sick! Those legs went to cum town on that rep up.Left Pic: 1 year ago somewhere in Jersey on my way to Mass. I was exhausted, not just physically, but emotionally a…’ve officially lived in Massachusetts for 1 year. Still prefer Starbucks.
Michael Jordan joins with Hamlin for NASCAR team, will have Bubba Wallace as first driver:
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Lately I’ve been wearing knee sleeves and Timbs separately because I don’t want to get confused with that one broth… your legal counsel, I was obligated to ensure you secured this domain: Looking forward…
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerI remember when I was like “I can’t believe we’ve been in quarantine for THREE WHOLE WEEKS!” That was 7 years ago.
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerWelcome to #WandaVision. Coming soon to #DisneyPlus.
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerBelichick: “Should I call a pass next time?” Cam Newton:
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😂 😂 😂
three words that speak volumes: I. Got. You.
Retweeted by Jay Whittakerconstantly defending things that don’t warrant the need to is exhausting. Keep pushing beloveds 💪🏽
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerRIP 💔
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerI’m not gonna stick to comedy these next 46 days. Sorry.
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerFound out RBG died and I screamed fuck. Told my dad and he screamed fuck. We’re all fucked. I’m so sad. RIP to RBG.…
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Please Recast @KevOnStage as Mr. Incredible and @BigIrishJay as FroZone.
@TheRoot Do it to 2012: A young, new, 155lb open mic comic who just wanted to avoid going to a therapist. He really shoulda w… up to an email from a guy named Kurt and I already knew it was gonna be a survey.Took a progress photo of my fitness journey and I have a lesser form of Dame Dash’s six-pack belly from Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin’” video.
Paul George: “Internally, we've always felt this isn't a championship of bust year for us. We didn't have enough ti… @lonniejr Bruh I really wasI’m eating pineapples for lunch, listening to birds and the breeze. Enjoy. @Lakers will always own Los Angeles!! It will never change 😁
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerSo many reasons to smile for this wonderful story. @kariwave You are beautifulOMG CLIPPERS!!!
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerWAY TOO MANY STORIES“Paul George wide open for the three” Paul George: #DENvsLAC #NBAPlayoffs
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerHoly Shit. Paul George is Paul Georging in a way I’ve never seen him Paul George before
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerPAUL GEORGE
You know if I get to stay in the Fresh Prince house, I’m gonna hire movers to move all the furniture out so I can r…
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerI need to discuss Ep. 5 of Lovecraft Country with someone who knows me well.Guys look like this when you text em that the session was trash 🗑 #StillBeatTho tastes, different place.Tens of thousands of Americans without proper childcare and The Mandalorian out here. “This is the Way”. was worth hearing Paul Rudd say “no cap”
Whatever this day is to you, go after it. @LDWPodcast Just do you. They’ll adapt.Only like this tweet if you have nutted while the Tony Hawks Pro Skater menu music plays softly in the background 😤😎
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerCome picnic witcha boy! Hope y’all had a good weekend!
Will there be Oreos in the second wave?
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerJust saw a girl smoking. Should I tell her she could save money by just inhaling the air?
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerLast time lakers were in the WCF 💜💛
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twitter at chris evans rn: “so you leaked your own nudes and have a picture of yourself that says guard that pussy…
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerI always wear a mask when I go outside. But something about it was leaving me anxious and unsettled. I thought abou…
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerYou're not a REAL GAMER unless you can shove an ENTIRE Nintendo GAMECUBE up your ASS
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The General Obi-Wan Kenobi Mythos statue is now available for pre-order from @collectsideshow and it's beautiful! 🚨…
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This is scripture. quick guide to politics
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerPlease NBA get this man a championship how was everyone's summer? Mine was great! *turns to stare at a different wall for a while*
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerIMPORTANT
Chills. Appreciate the greatness while he’s here. 👑
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerSaw a picture of Sarah Michelle Gellar and said “That’s Buffy The Renée Zellweger” so I’mma call it a night.I have so much to do right now. Perfect time to play FIFA on my switch.
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When you trying not to get sucked into drama over on Facebook
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerPlot Twist: You wish someone “Good Luck” and they’re taken by Liam Neeson. @hannaedits @Bachers84 Enjoyed everything but the soundtrackChoosing a random movie with your significant other on Netflix within 7 minutes of browsing and enjoying it to comp… from Skynet.
BODIED this was absolute perfection🔊SOUND ON🔊Celebrated #Batman Day in style with @RealKevinConroy on Waze. Don’t miss it! rid of old clothes that don’t “spark joy” or give me “heart boners”I like the way I look in V-Necks so much that I’ve considered leaving them on during sex.Feeling guilty just for resting when I should. Like damn bruv just watch a movie with commercials on TNT.If I were ever in a plane that was going down, I hope I would have the bravery to step up and say "Don't worry ever…
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerMan-Mosa is the dumbest name for a drink. Just say you like orange juice and cum fast.Drafted the oldest players I could find in fantasy football so I don’t wanna hear shit from Boomers.
Black Mirror really outdid themselves this time. Having us experience season 6 instead of watching it on Netflix. Outstanding. 👏🏾
Retweeted by Jay Whittaker*Sits down on toilet to pee Apple watch- "Time to stand!"
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerLove this wife making homemade tacos in cheetah print jeggings is some premium OnlyFans content.As a comedian with political opinions I would say my strongest and most important opinion about politics is that yo…
Retweeted by Jay Whittaker @MrJayWashington Wait til ep 4yooooo this birds Instagram DM’s must be WILD's funny when people you don't even know think you give a mile-high flying fuck about their opinion. @erockalypze Here to listen if you need to talkEscape rooms are a fascination that will I never understand.I sent the funniest and fire-est nudes to my wife and I've never laughed so hard at my own dick.I don't have an onlyfans but @josswheelin gave me some suggestions during these trying timesMy wife sends me very seductive pics of herself and I recreate the poses. It's so sexy and funny I can't stand itNot a loser. Not a sucker. I'm a veteran.
Wrote few pages in cursive for the first time in 10 years just to flex on you haterzzzzz“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not.” ― Dr. Seuss, The Lorax
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerI can't believe the pandemic was renewed for another season.
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerIt might be Labor Day weekend, but let’s all remember that we're still in the middle of a pandemic. Wear a mask, pr…
Retweeted by Jay WhittakerA man who’s always made me laugh and down to talk sports on the rare occasion I could find the guy. A very kind and…
☮️ Report finds that 93% of Black Lives Matter protests in the US were peaceful’s half past 2020. Drink like that the human filming was all “ha ha looks these crazy doggies”, then one makes it over the top and it’s “o…
Retweeted by Jay Whittaker @dcadams78 Hoping you find that sliver today