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I must confess I've made a mess of what should be a small success Horrible Histories, Gumball, Bravest Warriors, @footiebookclub Agent: @agencykatie

1,804 Following   8,454 Followers   29,246 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/25/11


This is government by soundbite and optics, a government devoid of decisiveness, courage, empathy, strategy, leader… https://t.co/WhdgM7EWdnLet's be very clear what's happening now: Boris Johnson is cosplaying at grief. He's doing it because this is what… https://t.co/CWXJXuxrnzUh huh https://t.co/v4AlGvDT4iI would quote Seasons 1-3 of Arrested Development at people until someone stabbed me in the stomach while I did the… https://t.co/P044ib4J1ISunday: maybe we'll lift restrictions in mid February! Monday: Easter will be the new Christmas, things will be bac… https://t.co/56VzV6khfYThe final goshdarn part RIGHT HERE, baby https://t.co/xzDxU8VuJI
Retweeted by Jack BernhardtPart 5 here! https://t.co/hzqEn1BCmm
Retweeted by Jack BernhardtTHE NEWS GOT BAD AGAIN SO HERE IS PART 4 https://t.co/tcEHl634Xj
Retweeted by Jack BernhardtAaaaand here's Part Three! Counting down 80 to 61... https://t.co/myphEu99dQ
Retweeted by Jack BernhardtPart 2 is HERE! Counting down from 100-81... https://t.co/tQQFV4wXdX
Retweeted by Jack BernhardtOK I threatened to do this earlier so don't say I didn't warn you: here's PART ONE of The Best 124 Moments in… https://t.co/owrtXHFfGC
Retweeted by Jack BernhardtAll SIX parts of this are now complete, all 124 Best Taskmaster Moments have been evaluated and written up, and acc… https://t.co/rUWVlSay89
Retweeted by Jack BernhardtYES, DO A LYNDON B JOHNSON, GO ON A LEGISLATIVE FRENZY AND RECREATE THE GREAT SOCIETY ARGGGH PLEASE https://t.co/mbpWO9B9m7Homeschooling in a pandemic memes are a high art or possibly cabin fever has eaten my judgement.... https://t.co/32dmz0yOz0
Retweeted by Jack Bernhardt @RealLeeGrumpy1 @greg_jenner Now I'm suddenly worried that there has never been the mention of an 8 or a 9 in The Simpsons @RealLeeGrumpy1 @greg_jenner (I see what you mean and you are right because you wouldn't know that there was a myth… https://t.co/BOK5eZ3qaV @RealLeeGrumpy1 @greg_jenner SO ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT IN THE SIMPSONS UNIVERSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THE NUMBERS EIGHT AND NINE @RealLeeGrumpy1 @greg_jenner But your denominations wouldn't be divided into tens ($10, $20, $50) unless you were i… https://t.co/slBgxCkkhD @greg_jenner You win this round, Jenner @PaddyMaths I am going to find an episode where they count on their fingers and you will EAT YOUR WORDS @greg_jenner Greg are you seriously telling me that the Simpsons universe is duodecimal, even though the denominati… https://t.co/gg9Qn9S1aI @jackbern23 I might have over-thought this, but I think the Simpsons' Universe uses base-10 because the count finge… https://t.co/IUo1VZ7pQc
Retweeted by Jack Bernhardt @Ankaman616 (i realised initially just tweeting "next" at you was unreasonable, sorry) @SaimaFerdows No wait, I take it back https://t.co/zdiTIyIXpN @Ankaman616 https://t.co/l1cx9zrKrk @SaimaFerdows INCONCLUSIVE @Ankaman616 Next @jetpackgirl Literally as I was tweeting this I was thinking "well technically according to Secrets Of A Successful… https://t.co/l6AEFwBOWFNORMALISE 👏 ANIMATED👏 CHARACTERS👏 WITH👏 FOUR👏 FINGERS👏 LIVING 👏IN👏A👏UNIVERSE👏WHERE👏 BASE👏EIGHT👏IS👏THE👏STANDARD👏👏👏The Simpsons is so unrealistic. They only have four fingers on each hand and yet the maths of their world is still… https://t.co/IDnJZwNngJLeo Varadkar called to my door canvassing and I managed to get it on video. https://t.co/SsUgG8Wqw4
Retweeted by Jack Bernhardt*seven months later, after a snafu where Chris Grayling gave exclusive rights for the supply of hedgehog food to a… https://t.co/gHOK6Kkm4X @quizlacey I'm sorry, I think any song that rhymes "Alan could not be dreamier" with "he contracted septicemia" cannot be considered crap @thisisdavid Lots of love David! @quizlacey I was torn on this because Mark and Nish's song is objectively better and such a glorious sweet moment,… https://t.co/KCrsZotJCLAll SIX parts of this are now complete, all 124 Best Taskmaster Moments have been evaluated and written up, and acc… https://t.co/rUWVlSay89 @quizlacey Thank you so much, that's very kind! Let the great debate begin @brenway Ah thank you so much!Where criticism falls down for me is when it becomes a shallow subjective snobbery, failing to engage with the art… https://t.co/OMz7r8a1PaWhich I don't think is true! I love analysing art (I mean what are my Taskmaster posts if not that) and I love read… https://t.co/d1qaoFIRPKThinking more about this (because ugh, that's what I do) - the take is purposefully provocative, and I think the in… https://t.co/PYWsD1NGQpAn art critic to elucidate the meaning in art and to judge its effectiveness, and in so doing they can be creative… https://t.co/lWlnWO28BTThat ubiquitous bad take on art/criticism is bad, but it's mostly because it sees art as contextless - by arguing t… https://t.co/EHzO9XE1dE
1/26
2021
Maybe not the most iconic but the one I keep having in my head recently is I HAVE TAKEN OUT MY INVISALIGN AND THI… https://t.co/YhZe3lSE6h @Lweez_J (in all seriousness, while S6 is weaker there are still some incredible moments - Tim Vine and the big hoo… https://t.co/wDmCpvmc37 @Lweez_J Excuse me I will hear nothing against Liza Tarbuck @rosieatlarge This definitely sounds like something Alex would say and then Greg would look at him angrily forHah, look at my ridiculous dog, spending all day barking loudly at no-one for no reason, and getting absolutely not… https://t.co/aMUcGmmAwogoing to do a horrible amount of retweeting of those Taskmaster posts over this week just fyi, sorry, they just too… https://t.co/KSZ5fhHfn1 @michael_jenner @greg_jenner And yet it only made Number 39, what a world, what a world @quizlacey Ahahaha I actually forgot about that until I rewatched it just now, that's absolute genius. I love Jessica Knappett so much @DVDSmith Oh wow I will have to listen! @JonnElledge I think I read about this earlier this year when I was researching obscure and weird conspiracy theori… https://t.co/WwgrQo6wiAHere it is, THE FINAL PART of my ridiculously detailed countdown: THE BEST 124 MOMENTS IN TASKMASTER HISTORY AS A W… https://t.co/UefyMSbpch
Retweeted by Jack Bernhardt @turlygod I'm really sorry, that's awful. @jameskettle It's a trailer for a TV show, but inherently less impressiveThe final goshdarn part RIGHT HERE, baby https://t.co/xzDxU8VuJIHere it is, THE FINAL PART of my ridiculously detailed countdown: THE BEST 124 MOMENTS IN TASKMASTER HISTORY AS A W… https://t.co/UefyMSbpch @Brainmage You are a good egg and you can do this, Guy! Keep going! @latgalia Who would want to manage at a club run like that though? So weirdMY PROMO WAS AN ENTIRE STUNT WHERE I MADE UP A BUNCH OF FAKE TV SHOWS FOR APRIL FOOLS DAY, FRANK, HOW DARE YOU @latgalia But why let him buy Havertz and Werner? Unless they weren't his buys and he was always going to get fired… https://t.co/cSJ3yGBbpS @latgalia Just so odd. Sorry I deleted that post because I realised it was basically what everyone else was saying… https://t.co/ECSMNAwrhEI am biased against Frank Lampard but that's mostly because a promo he was in won "Best Comedy Promo" at a year whe… https://t.co/nu4N83N88iIt's happening! It's happening! My new podcast is coming to the webwaves this Wednesday (27.01.2021)! 'Makes Art… https://t.co/Z9FrFuSJY2
Retweeted by Jack BernhardtNow into week four of John Lewis not delivering to Northern Ireland. I recall that back in September when making a… https://t.co/MEZoPlVvjR
Retweeted by Jack BernhardtHere's my conspiracy theory for the day: "having a whale of a time" is such an awkward and pointless phrase that t… https://t.co/NEAYEYX6aOThis is a really original idea - a Russell Howard travelogue WITHOUT his mum https://t.co/h3i3lcjtn8
1/25
2021
Wandavision Ep 5: [FRASIER SET] VISION (Kelsey Grammer): Wanda, we're going to be late for the symphony! WANDA (D… https://t.co/8I5Eifze0E @TysonT_200 @angryliddlecrab @nebraskajim @cushbomb @ryanlcooper as a way to combat the virus to get them to self i… https://t.co/mVshm5qAeR @TysonT_200 @angryliddlecrab @nebraskajim @cushbomb @ryanlcooper the article the person linked to, which they said… https://t.co/J7ia3sJaPa @angryliddlecrab @nebraskajim @TysonT_200 @cushbomb @ryanlcooper I don't understand the benefit of pretending there… https://t.co/AGTGzU22wc @angryliddlecrab @nebraskajim @TysonT_200 @cushbomb @ryanlcooper Obviously we should give people money! Upend the w… https://t.co/LdeqAfaXQh[Great Pottery Throwdown] Keith: *sees a toilet one of the contestants made* oh...oh god...oh wow... *starts cryin… https://t.co/uGmbjJi3cRKeith is the anti-Paul Hollywood; he just loves the craft and anyone excelling at it, he isn’t trying to gatekeep or catch anyone out
Retweeted by Jack Bernhardt @angryliddlecrab @nebraskajim @TysonT_200 @cushbomb @ryanlcooper You're so fucking desperate to pretend that the De… https://t.co/rlQ5SKTzKZ @angryliddlecrab @nebraskajim @TysonT_200 @cushbomb @ryanlcooper Good lord, he's saying he can't change the traject… https://t.co/cYSUhiJq7Z @IrishColvin @thegarance Sure, and I wear a mask outside, but pretending like it's the reason for the high death to… https://t.co/J5gfyHjD6C @jackbern23 "Wait, there's a discarded book of matches that might be a clue" *Reaches down to pick it up and demoli… https://t.co/CvD9tVosLw
Retweeted by Jack BernhardtThe two monsters would be their current size but solving human mysteries, and they would also need to wear giant trenchcoatsInstead of GODZILLA v KONG I would rather watch GODZILLA & KONG, where the two team up to solve a series of mysteri… https://t.co/R5SVpt1TOe @LydiaMizon My brother in law sent me a balaclava with built in mask for my birthday and OH GOSH I like it @thegarance Did you come to the conclusion that it's because of a dangerous government forcing people to commute ba… https://t.co/8eagP6mv9a @alwaysmagra @Omy_aching_back @thegarance Sure but doing something with minimal benefit to err on the side of cauti… https://t.co/QyQvW1V3xNI've started wearing my mask outdoors all the time but it's more of a courtesy to do what I can. The idea that the… https://t.co/VM4ekKaqLMAh, the old "send tweet" to create distance between myself and the awful jokes I make as a way of coating everythin… https://t.co/NudNZJdzCzLooks like the government are less interested in getting rid of DISCORD and more interested in getting rid of THIS… https://t.co/j19CjsdR3zInevitable Waffles snow photo, sorry https://t.co/ichl5eWf2nThe best The most likely character reason the police in Downtown would be called to… https://t.co/x8R468z9bL @ignatius_sancho "Ice Skater Crashes Into Menswear Section Of John Lewis"
1/24
2021
still thinking about Ginny Lemon's hairy bare arse reveal on Drag Race UK to be honestThis is fantastic, 1 point https://t.co/aE4rds4eaoIt's a Saturday and it's my birthday so why not waste the day reading my interminable thoughts on Taskmaster ahead… https://t.co/dy4rwoXPWY @jameshamilton This is great! I miss you! I want lunch!
1/23
2021
The really interesting thing about the Churchill bust is shut up about the Churchill bustToday’s mood is Sue Perkins and Rhona Cameron’s response to the paparazzi secretly photographing them in 2003 https://t.co/sSMgLwh6tG
Retweeted by Jack BernhardtSomeone at the Guardian definitely forgot their anniversary and needs ideas https://t.co/M9KVG9KUup @BenDunnell Thank you, it's alright really, just had my wallet stolen and some attempted transactions so I am just… https://t.co/w9hgP1hRmBanyway, tldr: fuck Matt and all who sail in him @AlgernonFlying I don't think that's their "grand plan" but I do think it's an inevitable consequence of their ideology
1/22
2021

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