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Jackie Pick @jackiepick United States

Award-winning writer and filmmaker. Humorist. Performer. Melted Butter Productions. #LTYMChicago.

1,846 Following   1,259 Followers   4,305 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/20/10


Something tells me these newscasters aren’t “accidentally” inserting racial slurs into Steve King’s name.
1/19
2019
Chicago is bracing for SNOWMAGEDDONAPOCALYPSECLYSM!! We're expected to get as much as 300 feet and there will be ro… https://t.co/r9RMC1tk7F
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
1/18
2019
antisemitism is not acceptable from the left or from the right. i'm also discomfited at the racialized nature of at… https://t.co/IoCyhishQX
Retweeted by Jackie PickSpelling Bee Proctor: Your word is bikini Elmo: Bikini. B-Elmo-K-Elmo-N-Elmo. Bikini.
1/17
2019
if anyone needs to catch up everyone’s pissed at trump for eating hamburgers in the white house and guys are mad at… https://t.co/k9sSEJ35yx
Retweeted by Jackie PickThink being a superhero is hard? Try being the first. Read @KMWeiland's new historical fantasy adventure today! https://t.co/b3E5cWxfn3
1/16
2019
🎶 Be our guest, be our guest, have a deep fried chicken breast. Have a Coke, try not to choke, I’m sure you’re all… https://t.co/pEqTNdBAUl
Retweeted by Jackie Pickmy pupper living his best life. https://t.co/CjklJXCWC5“As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people... On some g… https://t.co/w4P3ZqN1Kh
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
1/15
2019
The One Where I Write a Hit Television Show https://t.co/zXwbCMEM1g https://t.co/eJTkv0kTvo
1/14
2019
https://t.co/fhaQB3M49q
1/13
2019
Wake up America! https://t.co/2pDHHnvDhv
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
1/12
2019
ME [opening a card from the boss that says ‘get better soon’]: but i’m not sick, sir BOSS: no, you’re just terrible at this job
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
1/11
2019
oh my heart https://t.co/JqAdODoNKYTime to Marie Kondo the White House.
1/10
2019
I'm fine if 45 doesn't send money to protect California Forrests. I think the shrimp money and Apple stock should cover it.
1/9
2019
https://t.co/smOGSbJwl1but what do I do if I purged Netflix years ago because it didn't bring me joy?An excellent article. Good advice. https://t.co/bDQtKIb1RQThe second I walked into this grocery store Howard Jones’ “Life in One Day “ starts playing. Whose life story did I just walk into?
1/8
2019
Carrying on Despite the Email Blitzkrieg https://t.co/YUvOKXWH3v https://t.co/YYLmarupPIdue to low ratings, this tweet has been canceled.In hindsight, I should have done more squats.
1/7
2019
Email Inbox: DID YOU SIGN YOUR KIDS UP FOR SUMMER CAMP YET?! THERE ARE ONLY 2 SLOTS LEFT IN THE ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA.Me: Now that the holidays are over, I can take some time, gather my thoughts, and live in the moment. My Email Inb… https://t.co/GQnHSMkVqWI'll be home all day, so I'm dressed like Captain EO. I'm dressed like Captain EO, so I'll be home all day.
1/6
2019
Republicans win an election Mainstream media: This means democrats have to bend the knee Democrats win an electio… https://t.co/CQAnPN1CgQ
Retweeted by Jackie PickLet's wrap up both mansplaining and manscaping with one definitive comment about how women should feel about male body hair grooming.
1/3
2019
A well-written, honest look at this issue. What are your thoughts? https://t.co/XaUjDvkGxv
1/2
2019
Guess it's time to dust this old piece off again. "Comedy & The War On Free Speech” https://t.co/2bG4qSyyeF https://t.co/vxuJTzuBsd
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
1/1
2018
2018 — Rise, Shine, and Toss the Uns https://t.co/IFFIsh5wdY https://t.co/nZlqGWkBO6Not enjoying @Wordpress block editing. I cannot focus on the writing when the site wants me to focus on formatting.… https://t.co/pGuI6KvGlrTo anyone who knows Louis CK, please deliver this message for me. My daughter was killed in the Parkland shooting.… https://t.co/48JIwFOoUa
Retweeted by Jackie PickSuper stoked for “I’ll vote for a woman just not that woman” 2020
Retweeted by Jackie PickEvergreen goals: Do more of some things, do less of others. Wear sunscreen.
12/31
2018
Friend: Hey, how are your holidays going? Me: *unwraps a giant port wine cheese ball, and, without breaking eye co… https://t.co/yroKu62Itm
12/26
2018
I'm not always sure where to look for Christmas Spirit, but I can tell you it most definitely is not in the parking… https://t.co/18qw5OOGPe
12/23
2018
perfect https://t.co/5Uv8Rlfzoe
12/22
2018
I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Rudy Giuliani interviews and then asked it to write a Rudy Giuliani int… https://t.co/QoBHHEWHBM
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
12/21
2018
You have until 12 today to express order me around for Christmas.
12/20
2018
Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary https://t.co/AAfRGwJHQe
12/19
2018
Here Be the Mighty Yawp! or I’m Done. It’s Time to Start. https://t.co/z0p4OLY9JG https://t.co/BLsl4jYHu3I've been wanting one of these for awhile now! There are only 100 limited edition Cream Freewrites in the world,… https://t.co/O96S64BZYc
12/18
2018
I just finished the first draft of my first book. All that’s left to do is everything. #firstdraft #amwriting https://t.co/c2eJAed1Z1Every time Jacob got hurt in Twilight, did he have to wear one of those dog cones?
12/17
2018
@ANNELAMOTT BBQ Ranch Boundaries
12/16
2018
My mid-December armor: warm socks, a smile, and mistletoe strategically placed in my back pocket.
12/14
2018
Scooby-Dooed, but Shapelier https://t.co/QnmoG636VA https://t.co/wIfHs9jKQa
12/12
2018
I'm only here because I love your dog.
12/6
2018
Which is also all to say that some of you are dipping your misogyny in your racism.I also think the song isn't great in the base case, and I'm not emotionally attached to it. Maybe y'all sang in it… https://t.co/4sawc6lJOyFWIW, I think the discussion about the song in the #MeToo era is important, & the messiness a sign that we're hitti… https://t.co/EDfdBPK7wKMy hot take on the #BabyItsColdOutside situation. I'm reading so many "but what about misogyny in rap/hip-hop music… https://t.co/3Tqg3H3gq9In 24hrs I shall pick, at random, one person who has retweeted this blatant marketing ploy. That person shall then… https://t.co/TMNjxbMWL2
Retweeted by Jackie PickDo you remember Yanny vs Laurel? That was in May. That’s how long this goddamn year has been.
Retweeted by Jackie PickI’ve Joined the Blue Tang Clan https://t.co/huHfyg1yDS https://t.co/OGOc5pTEBT
12/5
2018
How to support #writers over the #holidays: - Buy and/or review their books - Wrap them in a blanket - Offer them… https://t.co/UMBOj36WdR
Retweeted by Jackie PickBad and predictable. Endless scope creep of religiosity in public/political domain. Please direct towards your own… https://t.co/QxHWlR1LFk
12/3
2018
but at least they're tax-exempt.and once again skeet shooting at local country club shows that it's more important for wealthy people to have their… https://t.co/GwwewydcnHThank God someone made birth control easy for men. Excuse me while I go to the doctor so she can stick a plastic le… https://t.co/8PB6eAYaM9
Retweeted by Jackie PickIf your heart is pure, every day is Cyber Monday, not just the two weeks surrounding Thanksgiving.
12/2
2018
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12/1
2018
Se7en is a Christmas movie because people talk about the Bible and Brad Pitt gets a present at the end.
Retweeted by Jackie PickWe are here at Twitter, where we've secretly replaced the fine Jackie Pick they usually serve with Folgers Crystals… https://t.co/IawiivPcbt
11/30
2018
Kids' games should come with a rating that says how long the game will be played until someone starts crying/fighting.
11/29
2018
NaNo Vanquished https://t.co/RKykIhwZAa https://t.co/wetvDli39iRiveting and important. https://t.co/GMKlXnEF1y
11/28
2018
Please let me know the next time you have a gruesome stomach bug, debilitating fever, or, hell, a hangover so I can… https://t.co/Ovl6YTakEN
11/27
2018
Would a school district ever say this about students flashing apparent gang signs?? (Hint: no) https://t.co/Modni6EQK0
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
11/25
2018
Maybe when you say "I don't think women are as funny as men" what you are trying to articulate is that you sense th… https://t.co/kTNYaojXfn
11/24
2018
Happy thanksgiving to everyone except all the petty people.
11/22
2018
My annual reminder that Woodstock eats the Thanksgiving turkey. A Very Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Shitshow airs th… https://t.co/iz9w7Len7MTrump really messed up the pardoning of the turkey. #KhashoggiThanksgiving: The cornucopia-est of holidays.
11/20
2018
As Gloria Steinem would say, this book is fan-fucking-tastic. #goodandmad #firedup #amreading https://t.co/XbhoflhXqcFantastic piece. Middle School Misfortunes Then and Now, One Teacher’s Take — Wait Until 8th https://t.co/VTc2Psvqeq
11/19
2018
Waiting for someone else to step up and do the right thing too often means the right thing never gets done.
11/18
2018
Something to think about: How a TV Sitcom Triggered the Downfall of Western Civilization by @davidhopkins https://t.co/cLJFGjTAA6 @McAllisterDen Look, I'm not sure who you think this "we" is covering, but you & the rest of the Ku Klux Karens can… https://t.co/s6jMoyGvCH
Retweeted by Jackie PickMost of the interesting women you know are far, far angrier than you'd imagine.
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
11/17
2018
Breathtaking. A must-read by @kristenmillares https://t.co/B0BfruGhuVTwinkies: Shelf life or half-life?
11/16
2018
I just spent five minutes trying to decide if I wanted a character to skewer three mini-meatballs on a toothpick or just two. #amwritingMy job in Hell will be to assign SKU numbers to all the crap at the Michaels craft store there.“Man shouts 'Heil Hitler, Heil Trump' during intermission of Baltimore performance of 'Fiddler on the Roof' “ Dear… https://t.co/X8EBBXcO2l
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
11/15
2018
He's running https://t.co/gYdUkEIRnL
11/14
2018
Look, the food at that Tide restaurant may not be delicious, but the place is so clean.Famed director of Malcolm X-Men and Do the Right The Thing. https://t.co/dMKPKojxpf
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
11/13
2018
We all got to be heroes because of #StanLee. Thank you for believing in humanity and for telling our true, deep sto… https://t.co/t3q2U9iAn5This kid dead-center is literally doing the "white power okay sign". https://t.co/qyHnf1GzRt
Retweeted by Jackie PickWalking Through Jello https://t.co/LZ2jOKMuZe https://t.co/ExYu5VpYQ1
11/12
2018
Trump knew he could withstand blowback from his odious choices this week b/c no one will remember in 2020 and the n… https://t.co/2Soh7Qv9bu
11/11
2018
“Why do people keep calling us Nazis” https://t.co/mWjKMwFpe3
Retweeted by Jackie PickMy family would never have moved here had anyone disclosed the disruption to peace, quiet, and quality of life that… https://t.co/WV9646NbUrI have specifically discouraged people from moving to my town because of the noxious noise from Sunset Ridge Countr… https://t.co/746GM8m6D7The White House has done more to punish Jim Acosta for gently brushing aside an intern, than they've done to punish… https://t.co/rs2nSmkIvX
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
11/10
2018
Called out for being the racist that he is, Trump hides behind the military. Meanwhile, 20 vets a day still take th… https://t.co/zkFzKRuQ2Y
Retweeted by Jackie PickI've said this before: maybe we *should* be worried as much about academic achievement as about who kids sit next t… https://t.co/zhKIPzGyn2“I hope to God no one sends me anymore prayers. I want gun control. No more guns!” - mother of shooting victim Tele… https://t.co/LfMWvMGXPo
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
11/9
2018

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