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Jackie Pick @jackiepick United States

Word Monkey. @womenonwriting @The_Belladonnas @NonesuchContest @LTYMshow #humoroutcasts

1,944 Following   1,288 Followers   4,516 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/20/10


Surviving Summer Funtimes 2019 — Week the First https://t.co/QNGMHyG2Jh https://t.co/QMwsDrwNZJ
6/17
2019
5-Hour Energy Drink: When you haven't made enough bad decisions in a 24-hour period.
6/11
2019
@Audrey_Burges My remaining percentages: 10% Telling them to close the door 3% Barbecue87% of my summer is telling my kids whose turn it is.
6/10
2019
Some of you are forgetting about the "guilty" part of "guilty pleasures," particularly when referencing your Saved by the Bell habit.
6/7
2019
My Indefatigable Weirdness Versus All the Small Talk — May 2019 Month In Review https://t.co/kmhKA1RquK https://t.co/V72Vh0Rl6b
6/3
2019
Margaret Brennan and her merry panel of pundits. https://t.co/bTcxX2Bnzw
6/2
2019
Social media: Home of passive-aggressive behaviors since finewhatever.
5/31
2019
I'm on @The_Belladonnas today with games to help you learn to adult already. You can go first. https://t.co/HmgscYnSV3
5/30
2019
The next time a black man is “facing an existential question” about whether or not to comply with a police officer’… https://t.co/RK3JXuqumF
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5/27
2019
Maggie Haberman is the worst journalist in America and her fellow journalists think she’s amazing, which should tel… https://t.co/ATgf8cwFXh
Retweeted by Jackie PickThis is a good example of bias in the @nytimes: a picture of a person who is considering not complying with a subpo… https://t.co/juvZCtsUp4
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
5/26
2019
As we enter prom season once again, remember the rules. https://t.co/NDPLED1pqu
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
5/24
2019
I’m that person who brings something slightly wrong to a gathering. Everyone else brings fruits and veggies, I brin… https://t.co/oLGgYIbhRCHeck, I'm still upset about the series finale of M*A*S*H*
5/23
2019
Running is a drug. I can stop anytime I want. And I usually want to stop a few seconds before I start running.“One day, from his sniper nest, Chief Gallagher shot a girl in a flower-print hijab who was walking w/ other girls… https://t.co/BTiDzuIUap
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
5/19
2019
🚨BREAKING: @OhioState now admits a team doctor sexually abused at least 177 men in the 1970s–1990s. Officials knew… https://t.co/TEKeOIGH1j
Retweeted by Jackie PickI'd really be fine not seeing any more Howard Stern articles or interviews this week. Thank you.
5/17
2019
Writing About Something Without Writing About It https://t.co/v4v4Z8tUHb https://t.co/6Tl6bSiLqk6 weeks pregnant = period is 2 weeks late. Pregnancy is counted from the first day of a woman's last menstrual period.
5/16
2019
Not now, @TIME https://t.co/j08iGZMyVJPart of the reasoning behind the extreme laws against women’s health care is that the eventual “compromise “ will still be draconian.
5/15
2019
good job, IHOP
5/13
2019
@thegoodgodabove Chachi. He's been quiet...too quiet.
5/12
2019
I learned so much about myself. https://t.co/YxNw8bPSLjWe women are treated like countries without borders.
5/11
2019
I HAVE INHALED THE VAPORS AND STARED INTO THE ORACULAR MIRROR AND LO, I HAVE SEEN YOU, CHILD OF FRIDAY, GAMBOLING P… https://t.co/UYfov8L1YY
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
5/10
2019
Participation Trophy goes to the checkout dude at the grocery for his half-assed attempt to be surprised by my age when he carded me.
5/7
2019
Really, I’m Fine — April 2019 Month in Review https://t.co/aeB3SlT717 https://t.co/0Tqf5FHyjz"Dragons" is not a strategy. #gotGOT Episode 4: Too Bright
5/6
2019
Javier Bardem at Career Day as his character in No Country for Old Men.I've been doing this for a few years now, but it is still stressful and exhilarating to hit "submit" or "send." #writerslife #amwriting
5/3
2019
In the land of short memories: As Barr skips House hearing due to use of staff attorneys to ask questions, remember… https://t.co/w6eEQ592bc
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
5/2
2019
The Unofficial Guide to Surviving Life with Toddlers https://t.co/Kz4KEQqUyP https://t.co/pRFIvyRVlIGOT Episode 3: Can’t See Shit
4/29
2019
Spot The Fake — NRA Edition https://t.co/ZOa4nUme4y https://t.co/oYHhiogqxh
4/28
2019
@ChocoNCAmy Same!Thought I'd been left behind. Realized I'd just stumbled into a Hobby Lobby.
4/27
2019
The NRA Annual Meeting is this weekend. Can you spot the fake? My latest over on Humor Outcasts. https://t.co/4tzWzpeiEeMy latest piece over on Humor Outcasts. https://t.co/4tzWzoWHfEBREAKING NEWS: A NYT article, echoing claims made on this feed, has stated correctly—for the first time—what the Mu… https://t.co/CEvDRAD8bw
Retweeted by Jackie PickIt's Release Day for Surviving Life with Toddlers! Just in time for Mother's Day, it's the "What to Expect" book we… https://t.co/r9OeI7KTKwIt's Release Day for Surviving Life with Toddlers! Just in time for Mother's Day, it's the "What to Expect" book we… https://t.co/NdWUDXATNt
4/26
2019
@MyersMedia0429 Hee! @MyersMedia0429 https://t.co/Mpea01cxs0Trump's Presidential Library will simply be a life-sized game of Mousetrap.Breaking: Joe Biden enters the race and is already polling higher than She’s Too Ambitious, She’s Just Not Likable,… https://t.co/xGmt6ipeTp
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
4/25
2019
So thrilled to be in this anthology about the utterly lovely chaos that is parenting toddlers. So many terrific wri… https://t.co/oyJ018rCjRyou can't spell library without bra because we are your support system
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4/24
2019
The real reason Passover runs for eight days is that that's how long it takes to wash all the dishes from the seder.
4/23
2019
Shake the Matzah Crumbs Out of Your Bra… https://t.co/cKsSrfvtDC
4/22
2019
She speaks in Album Cover. https://t.co/GZrdGJpJls
4/21
2019
Important for all educators to remember that the truly great benefits of collaborative learning are not great for a… https://t.co/Ok7t4jSjG3Here’s an idea: Rather than arming teachers and hardening schools, maybe we should disarm disgruntled suburban yout… https://t.co/cpMxa9fB46
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
4/20
2019
It reads like theater. No, wait...it reads like if Jon Stewart and Neil Simon wrote a graphic novel. No, wait...ah,… https://t.co/7CUcfSkB37There are two Beatles and two Monkees still alive. I propose they join forces for the Beakees. Best of all, we've… https://t.co/EwUYPoCR3w
Retweeted by Jackie Pickby @petridishes so good https://t.co/K7W7bWJcxP“We shouldn’t impeach because the Senate won’t convict” is an instrumentalist vision of politics that treats it pri… https://t.co/aS4n7AQAUw
Retweeted by Jackie PickWashington was sworn into office on April 30, 1789; 230 years ago this month. In 230 years we’ve: Never had a fema… https://t.co/8i9TtVAZVN
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4/19
2019
"Offer your guests one of my four signature theme cocktails: The Pillar of Fire, Manna-hattan From Heaven, Let Mi(m… https://t.co/d9qzcZdci9
4/17
2019
Milestones — Send More Creme Eggs https://t.co/MwPmiWXPVS https://t.co/hmlBckJIstMueller redactions mad libs gonna be lit, yo. https://t.co/OScphgaD7w
Retweeted by Jackie PickThe redacted Mueller report is not the Mueller report. Congress needs to see the whole thing, and frankly, so do we all.
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
4/15
2019
What hostile sexism looks like: Dr. Katie Bouman’s reputation is being battered across multiple platforms. Her Wiki… https://t.co/DfoauHLHQS
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4/14
2019
OMG https://t.co/gL7tg7TmAu
4/12
2019
me: do you think chewbacca has pecs or a trail of tiny teats like a piglet uber driver: why did you sit in the front
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
4/10
2019
Historians shall refer to these days as The Age of Hornswaggle.I’m waiting on kitty ultrasound results and trying to distract myself a little bit so I’d like to tell you a story… https://t.co/pyAWNhvSop
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
4/5
2019
So much in this article is applicable to writing feedback in general! https://t.co/B0kyTRO9fU
4/4
2019
...or are we not doing that for this remake? #jokermoviethis completely ruins my childhood https://t.co/43gEcIvaMF#Highlander was burned like trash—with near silence. Do we need a swastika painted on the front door of the… https://t.co/rILDsBaLzj
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
4/3
2019
Blurry — March 2019 Month in Review https://t.co/zm0nEPDPBr https://t.co/SxIvScGkd8Oh! Let's do an April Fools challenge. See if you can come up with an April Fools prank that will actually make som… https://t.co/nSB4xgvVvN
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
4/1
2019
@PressSec has twice posted her childish "brackets" mocking and targeting people who were acting in the interest of… https://t.co/xXqOhNR7FZ @PressSec , showing that once again the President surrounds himself with only the "be best" people. @PressSec @realDonaldTrump This is childish, unprofessional, and an inappropriate, inflammatory misuse of your posi… https://t.co/pqBr5YfHZUThroughout his career McConnell has blocked: --A bipartisan statement warning of Putin's cyberattacks. --Legislat… https://t.co/6burrplhc2
Retweeted by Jackie Pick @RepMoBrooks serves the President only. It is rhetoric like yours that chips away at the foundation of the country,… https://t.co/7AOYSVMt5c
3/26
2019
Let me now explain how brevity is the soul of wit. (1/644)
Retweeted by Jackie PickSandy Hook and our response to it define our nation. We love our guns. We love punching down. We love our cruel tal… https://t.co/eGpr2a2ugtThe irony is, of course, that "Hobby Lobby" sounds like the name of a sex toy store.
3/25
2019
The way that adults, including elected politicians, but ESPECIALLY @DLoesch & her gruesome death cult, have treated… https://t.co/Z4q8p1K5ZZ
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
3/24
2019
So let me get this straight. Lindsey Graham is the chairman of a committee that decides if the public gets to see… https://t.co/CDElMFpNhW
Retweeted by Jackie PickI'm sure the good people of Iowa will take care of him in this, his hour of need. https://t.co/Am1EnMLDf9
3/23
2019
@MyersMedia0429 I spel gudIf I were still teaching, this would have driven me out of the profession. Immediately. If you've never taught, it… https://t.co/7HSTeVs9gs @thespinsterymc This made me weepy in the best way. Thank you for your words and your beautiful self and the greatness you bring to Judaism. @MyersMedia0429 I’m always happy to here from you - it’s nice to have people to joke around with on the interweb. Y… https://t.co/hxoH5pSWfm @MyersMedia0429 All me!I GOT THE HIGH SCORE ON MY SCALE TODAY!
3/22
2019
Super Gobsmacked Shoulder Husky Moon https://t.co/yJZSiOFJuG
3/21
2019
New show pitch: Moxie and Hustle. They get stuff done.
3/20
2019
The 2nd best part of this whole Trump/Conway discussion of the President's mental state is Brad Parscale trying to… https://t.co/175vVtSUNZ
3/19
2019
As a parent, I am not doing my job if I do not talk to my kids about racism, white supremacy, xeonphobia, and polit… https://t.co/CBZ7nMutTB
Retweeted by Jackie PickI don't know who needs to hear this today, but there isn't an age, esp in 2019, when being racist or homophobic is… https://t.co/zPXFsliSOE
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3/18
2019
"Should we stage a fashion intervention?" Shriners looking out the window today.
3/17
2019
I've watched in awe as Chelsea Clinton calmly dispatches fools on Twitter, day after day. No insults. No burns. Sh… https://t.co/9MBYNWj2g9
Retweeted by Jackie Pick
3/16
2019

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