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Just working hard on writing jokes that make you overwhelmed with uncontrollable "Oh yeah I see what he did there."

296 Following   877 Followers   4,083 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/8/09


Are you telling me Carrie Bradshaw's love interest "Big" made this mood?
10/23
2019
My favourite part of the new @starwars trailer !!!! https://t.co/PIS3pMbOWr
Retweeted by James Etchison | jokes for the damned @omgurbc Ok if you get sword/shield next month we should team up. I'm really psyched and I'm hoping the multiplayer content is really good. @omgurbc Are you on switch? @OG_MDB Im v stronk @OG_MDB No I'll kil youIm willing to fight someone I don't know @suddenlymexican Vert or Hori?Oh you like kids? Name my son.
10/22
2019
@notverypharr @GrimeyCustodian Google biofilm first result. I didn't know there was a picture in the article. It's… https://t.co/xtBbY51Huz @GrimeyCustodian Im deleting my reply bc that picture is nsfl
10/21
2019
@GrimeyCustodian My teeth apparently @TravHC You're right it's cool and good
10/20
2019
@sammorril Fyi I can hang with jokes and you're one of the best around who still does em
10/19
2019
@jeremysmiles I had to do jokes to bully better. @GrimeyCustodian Ok @OutOnTheMoors https://t.co/aVlZBfBpmR @BigJDubz Egg. Oh wait you said square.
10/18
2019
@GrimeyCustodian @ansley_lynn @Desiowene Desi plz we are demandingMy favorite part of my communist Sherlock Holmes fanfic is when Sherlock tells Watson to sieze the means of deduction. @bourgeoisalien No she's rich @mattsinger Violin @Letchison @Awesome_Endless Some animals need to be put down
10/17
2019
@jeremysmiles https://t.co/FIYikvsE8o @CocaCola End your partnership with @ChickfilA @greasybang That was really funny and almost made me wanna throw up
10/16
2019
Every time they want to play dnd I try to name my guy Ibuprofen Helicopter and the dm gets bent because those thing… https://t.co/UIdygYGpNRYeah yeah yeahs: 🎶 heads will roll 🎶 King Henry VIII: awww shiiiit they’re playing our jam Anne . . . . Oh yea . . . .
Retweeted by James Etchison | jokes for the damned
10/15
2019
@GiantTomHanks @BradWenzel One of my all time favorites @KrangTNelson Nice photoshops @ktking404 https://t.co/zT0J8w7bq3 @MtnWatch Do he really be eating them biscuits?I've been happy before but I've never been chuffed as chips. @andrewofthehill It really changed how I think about mental blocks for the better. I've read it a couple times, I p… https://t.co/uJlYJHptbk @andrewofthehill That sucks. You got a different problem than me but I was gonna recommend a book called The War of… https://t.co/PjoFJu6HDT @andrewofthehill Why ain't ye?
10/14
2019
@OG_MDB This nerd just said this game wasn't nerds and then listed a bunch of nerds who she plays it with. @StellarBoor I definitely recommend both em @StellarBoor Louis Sachar is world's greatest children's author. He is better than Roald Dahl. @mollymcnearney Laura @ellle_em I love every pokemonTo me, engineers and programmers aren't that smart because an actual smart person would find a way to make money th… https://t.co/ECHgNPNPnn
Retweeted by James Etchison | jokes for the damned
10/13
2019
I have 10 of 12 astrological signs muted. I hate astrology but if worse comes to worst I want to know if Leo gets c… https://t.co/TNAatMStF6 @elder_ridge @GrimeyCustodian We don't use the same toilet paper! @elder_ridge I use 70 to 80 times as much toilet paper
10/12
2019
I'm glad the person tasked with inventing crab cake had a broader definition of cake than the gross idiot who invented carrot cake. @mattsinger April 26thEveryone come visit this haunted Thai and sushi restaurant on all hallows eve eve (wed. 10/30). We're gonna decorat… https://t.co/xFyzsKoha7Men are trash and I'm dressing the part. @Rachel_Sennott Maybe she turned 18 @mtotheyo That mouse your boy
10/11
2019
@leonardpierce Does it set up for a Johnny Depp as the riddler movie?What if instead of Fred Durst it was called Fred Derf? It'd be a nice palindrome. @NeonBallroom That's a good movie! @diothar Yes. @jayster1973 No... no... @NeonBallroom No... no... @McLoudy420 No... no... @theneedledrop Red @samlymatters Proud of your success but I love dippin dots. It's the ice cream of the future
10/10
2019
@zoewarthead @GrimeyCustodian @Wes_Chambers Wes, thanks for single handedly saving this womans life @ra114211 @PAW_Production @Zakiyyah6 Woody Allen for Annie Hall (1978) @GoMakeAFriend @BernieSanders My name is so close to being in the picture I am livid rn
10/9
2019
Me yelling at plants that the dirt is a bad place to raise a family.this guy buying a ticket for a book https://t.co/hbXEZnitJy
Retweeted by James Etchison | jokes for the damned @GoMakeAFriend I'd have drank that good coffee
10/8
2019
See you soon Tifton Ga!! https://t.co/BliC59TM8B
Retweeted by James Etchison | jokes for the damnedI only go on first dates on my birthday. Very powerful for a woman to see me being treated like a king, serenaded b… https://t.co/vsBBSyU7vb
Retweeted by James Etchison | jokes for the damned
10/6
2019
@elder_ridge @RadioSqrl @cmclymer Biden got the eye blood make your booty go POP
10/5
2019
@murpheypound Hey I resemble that remark @TimRossComedy I actually buy downvotes for mine but I'm so fucking funny they just skyrocket anyway. @TimRossComedy @TonyPHenderson Yeah I just wanted to say "that's a copy" and let him know your Twitter since he lov… https://t.co/X6QHGXvyfX @TonyPHenderson @TimRossComedy if you wanna retweet since... that's a copyhey it’s 10/4 good buddy
Retweeted by James Etchison | jokes for the damned
10/4
2019
@Tedcruz4201 @Violethoure666 @ashleylynch South Park's whole shitty goal is to offend people, and it's done a great… https://t.co/osnxrFshk5 @CaseofSpades32 I like the Paddington movies but you're so funny.If by “Mrs. Brown” you mean “Hilary Clinton” and by “write a poem for National Poetry Day” you mean “kill Jeffery E… https://t.co/77T6yMyGQx
Retweeted by James Etchison | jokes for the damned @TravHC Sucks to be him or the person who goes down right after and has to slide down with a whole head between the… https://t.co/3hSqD1tTBfThe last two days were both my mortality @elder_ridge But Bernie will definitely beat Trump by the simple virtue of being bae <33Thinktober day 3: thinking about waterslides
10/3
2019
I really don't want to a see The Joker but I definitely don't want to not get memes for a whole week. Gotta underst… https://t.co/KSjOMxZyHZ @Awesome_Endless No one not even a little? @suddenlymexican I called my Guru and he said "bad"pete holmes: the other day, i was in the bank, and i made a fire truck noise. are you LISTENING to me?? do you HEAR… https://t.co/EEWZ0zVKnV
Retweeted by James Etchison | jokes for the damnedLook if anyone knows about comedy, it's Todd Phillips who directed the comedy films "Zach Galifianakis Can Carry an… https://t.co/UMrI5avEAoAnd by this I mean my Twitter feed and by my Twitter feed I mean the very fact that I am on Twitter. @demigod_army @tltonbroadway Augustus? @RadioSqrl @elder_ridge I like Biden. If he was good enough for Obama he's good enough for me!
10/2
2019
@McLoudy420 The coldest take. Just subzero temperature, this take.
10/1
2019
@hawtlava33 @jvn @littlerjunior Yeah I think this video is unfunny af and is just rich people trying to not pay the… https://t.co/AnXSul4rrW @ThaREALBOJACK @MTG_Arena No. You have to open packs (which most people pay for) for cards but they let you enter t… https://t.co/8evghSl4IfBeing really ugly is kind of a paradox because everyone wants to kill you but no one wants to wear your skin. @RadioSqrl Weird. That black lady didn't act the way that white man thought black ladies should act and so he stopped acknowledging her. @Marxbear You're probably right. As someone with a huge library of old games I know the draw of nostalgia but it se… https://t.co/xY8r5N9KOv
9/30
2019
@TimRossComedy There aren't any @allycamein I think cursing is the best solution. The problem is saying "yes" or "no" sound blunt by themselves and… https://t.co/6woCOud4qbI think its equally sad and funny for all the people who worked hard on 15 years of World of Warcraft expansion con… https://t.co/aTNxNHNfuh @ElLiftrs I once had to do the same. I don't know why the society has such a horn for possums https://t.co/okRmAJsgYg @sorrytofollowu It's a really good song if you ignore all the lyrics
9/29
2019

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