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He/Him. All opinions are my own. Is Twitter a dating site?

564 Following   556 Followers   3,784 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/21/13

Tomato Revenge
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄movies
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @bigsharkguy @bigsharkguy see me @kipperriiii I miss my old co-workers so much... My new ones are pretty good, but I just can't get to know them lik… @SaeedDiCaprio Literal seconds before the sun dipped away @CSMFHT Are you sure? I thought his final words were "ow I've just discovered the spleen" @abernothing Top sheets are the best. Who doesn't use one? They come with your fitted sheet for a reason. @abernothing Let's get a beetle togetherme, loggin on and talkin to all my rectangle friends
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @_bitchidiot Of course :)
Chewy jello implies the existence of crunchy jello and I'm not sure how to feel about that @tjgose there should be free therapy for people
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @MayaIsLoading When you're making a planned detour but didn't punch it in, so its just "recalculating" every single intersectionI CLEAN MY ROOM EVERY DAY AND SOMEHOW BY NIGHTTIME ITS A MESS AGAIN
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @SukiTemporarily "Yes, talk about your mental illness!" "wait no not that one" There's a double standard where some… my tweets 🤝 flop
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @PleaseBeGneiss i hate the clown from IT me: same he never fixes my computer
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @SukiTemporarily > I don't wanna drag you down Now that is a caring response 🤗 I don't mind though, there's a few p… @SukiTemporarily Of the ones who actually have my external contact info, I'd like to imagine 1 or 2. But it's never… @SukiTemporarily Congrats! You're moving on up in the world! @diskpix fuck twitter @diskpix Did they fucking ban you again dude?Spread kindness, not Covid
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @clebdotcom Happy birthday Cleb!
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄a group of Canadians that aren't drinking is called an eh eh meeting
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @abernothing Loaf @goofballbirkla Goodnight goof ❤ @tennisonok You look great Tenn! ❤ @_bitchidiot That's an awesome find! @Jest_Iris The best bagels!
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @frankieplsrelax 😶 @b1tchcraft666 Happy birthday Lyn!I would do anything for love, but I won't eat that - vegan meatloaf
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @_bitchidiot @tennisonok Abby you're super talented and beautiful! A master musician! @goofballbirkla Hell yeah @goofballbirkla Am I in it?The US isn't even a country, it's just three corporations in a trench coat
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @WinningByARose But I'm not doing anything with them! Oh wait... @ltpenguin_ Hey Jake! @tennisonok Thank you Tenn :) you're a great friend! And I want you to get good things too! @tennisonok Hello Tenn :) @PartTimeHobo You coulda left Tenn tagged in this one I think lol @tennisonok Sending hugs 🤗 @desukidesu Goodnight Suki! This is pretty accurate for me since I have ADHD!$15 per hour? what’s next? basic human rights?
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @MuthoniK20 Party!* After lockdown @MuthoniK20 Hell yeah ❤️ @desukidesu I could say the same for you! Love to see you :) @MuthoniK20 Yo meez where we at @desukidesu Do me @SukiTemporarily It's such a hard thing to watch friends drift away. I've had that feeling many times, and it's nev…
@desukidesu @PartTimeHobo @tennisonok Wow, she is getting a lot bigger! You got to post more pics man @tennisonok Thank you :) it's not bad! Hopefully yours is going well too :) @tennisonok 😍 @tennisonok That would be amazingSchrödinger: At the moment the cat is both dead and alive. Pandora: You sure about that? 👀
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @_bitchidiot Goodnight Abby! :) @tennisonok I think the 4th one is the best! But they all look pretty cool! @maxoupial @SukiTemporarily Goodnight suki!
@tennisonok I hope you stick around ❤ @jack_r0420 Sending some perception your way ❤Open for a surprise
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @PartTimeHobo Nah, they'll send DLH :P @PartTimeHobo They don't have my credit card so I'm safe 😎👉👉DHL dropped off my new record without collecting duty or the 400% processing fee so I really feel like I'm winning… @abby0mal New Zealand is where it was filmed... I'm not gonna argue with that! @abby0mal Lord of the Rings @lincnotfound Have you tried going viral? @desukidesu Hi Juno I'm also very sleepy 😍 @SukiTemporarily Good morning Suki! Hopefully you slept well after your dreams earlier. @PartTimeHobo Nerd
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @SneakytheSnake 🐍 @SukiTemporarily Those dreams suck so much 🤗 sending good vibesDo you ever just wanna
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄There is not a better high than buying new Tupperware as an adult.
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄
@SukiTemporarily Goodnight Suki! Sleep well! @frankieplsrelax Okay well here's the thing... ... And the long and short of it is you need to bully more people on the internet @SukiTemporarily oh my god you did it! Keep me/us updated on how it works! @SukiTemporarily Oh shit, that's really good! @SukiTemporarily I knew there had to be more lol, just couldn't think of any for some reason. Go get her! @SukiTemporarily Fish is the only one that comes to mind @SukiTemporarily Ask her what her favourite word that rhymes with her name isi hate the idea of working. isn’t it bad enough i exist why do i have to torture myself for 40+ years
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @justky1018 😎👉👉Okay, hear me out here... A quarantine dating app that tracks which groceries you buy and which stores you frequent…
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄"go to therapy" has become a weird dunk that kinda worries me because it assumes therapy is a thing that fixes peop…
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @abernothing A very good feelingtfw you’re home >>>
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄ @justky1018 Hell yeah
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄“Awful lot of honkeys here” - yelp review of Goose Island, Chicago
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄doug ford really said stay home 2 electric boogaloo
Retweeted by Jared Kelly ⛄