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Jason @jason1749 Infinite Tarantula Island

The lobster has limited telepathy, though it cannot explain how it came to have this ability. // he/him bottom text

1,396 Following   1,471 Followers   293,998 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/21/07


Yeah, but they also said they identified themselves while knocking on Breonna Taylor’s door, so...How can I even be… https://t.co/bLDHYwGyqC
Retweeted by Jason @FrostyJane https://t.co/HzLAuq4xn3It's tricky to argue that paying a fine to restore someone's eligibility is "paying them to vote" without accidenta… https://t.co/fHx28oU2h0
Retweeted by Jasoni believe the proper phrasing is that there has been an officer involved shooting https://t.co/K6NkQErGll
Retweeted by JasonPF Chang's waiter: "[Recites specials] Stephen A. Smith: (Acts surprised) "To me, that's preposterous. Crab Rangoon, things of that nature."
Retweeted by Jason @dhookstead OH NO THEY HAVE SIGNSorson welles doesn't appear for much of the third man but his dialogue on the ferris wheel is unforgettable https://t.co/Dn9kLZ3bLK
Retweeted by JasonHey @jason1749 your ride’s here. https://t.co/3tTpcu5Yw1
Retweeted by Jason
9/24
2020
@HitlerPuncher @neokefka_99 @highway_62 was it yesterday? five months ago? three weeks from now? nobody knows @THE_Stefano_DLC bitch you’re stuck with me @neokefka_99 @highway_62 there is no guarantee any of us will live to see Halloween this yearQuarantine status: https://t.co/u7dD29gj4E
Retweeted by Jason @ChrisCrash00 I believe he is a cursed creature that can only be freed by the Mets becoming a functional organization. @neokefka_99 little early for Christmas movies @depechejoe you’re this guy https://t.co/rPa7pQMGfVhttps://t.co/UzicC9D2Jl https://t.co/eAC6xkdeQZ
Retweeted by JasonI’m sorry Liz who https://t.co/VSksBOBhL3
Retweeted by Jasonmayor lightfoot invites us to purchase a protest permit at the nearest city clerk location to whisper breonna taylo… https://t.co/cJUkpDSOVd
Retweeted by Jasonthis is a lovely cake and anyone who says it is not is a filthy liar https://t.co/HzM9HNFXtR @Learnonaut DEATH ON THE MISSISSIPPI: there's a murder on a steamboat booze cruise and only Benoit Blanc can solve… https://t.co/8u9XToiNLtCall it another entry in "The Benoit Blanc Mysteries" and start it and any subsequent sequels off with an NBC Myste… https://t.co/765rRuZuC6
Retweeted by Jason @FrostyJane I see your winter project here.love to use my immense brain to smash the suicide/homicide binary, which is real https://t.co/pFRvXNV4mR
Retweeted by Jason @THE_Stefano_DLC I’d love if they all got “fun” code names for the sequel. @HitlerPuncher @unicornosis @david_wolkin Sold out but I can get you a Clyde Bruckman.i have a million issues with this i've already discussed at length elsewhere. but i'm also realizing that maybe i d… https://t.co/pn9u8o4JRH
Retweeted by Jasonworms are thoroughly documenting all the minor property damage committed by people that are getting the shit beat o… https://t.co/5999NclBu0
Retweeted by Jason @colonelnemo maybe they're not final? These look real bad for Macfarlane @colonelnemo Macfarlane @neokefka_99 what @PraxJarvin just an exec screaming at the sculptor "THE HAIR NEEDS TO BE FLOPPIER, FLOPPIER DAMN YOU!" @pablohidalgo I think Marvel is for D+, Hulu is just...Hulu.Even if you don't like rioting, RIOTING GETS RESULTS Seriously, it's probably one of the most effective ways to ge… https://t.co/N7E1VamZcI
Retweeted by Jasoncan't wait for my white bautista action figure https://t.co/Og0HCcCNgnhello wilma, yes https://t.co/GTfn7QLHiBcan't believe they're using CGI Peter Boyle for Baron Harkkonen https://t.co/THV2KiLauI @ThatWeissGuy I need to invest in some warmer clothes as I switch from summer loungewear to winter/fall stuff. @ThatWeissGuy ready for autumn!Muppets should star in every movie. https://t.co/E132SWPx5y
Retweeted by Jasonsohla got her own show before ba relaunched the test kitchen lmao https://t.co/chzJckUeOD
Retweeted by JasonMy parents arrived in Seoul a week ago. Immediately, they took a COVID test. Got PPE from the government. Had to do… https://t.co/5Vu2EsL5Fj
Retweeted by JasonBreonna Taylor’s killers getting off scot free without even a trial is exactly the systemic rot that people are pro… https://t.co/i0cLMBfFbx
Retweeted by Jason @THE_Stefano_DLC like the presidency! if he's doing it right we don't hear about him for weeks at a timeRioting isn't a strategy. It's not deliberated. It's a thing that happens. It's a natural and entirely predictable… https://t.co/AYBiZu1ZLB
Retweeted by Jasonhttps://t.co/ynfFeOSI3Y
Retweeted by JasonThis picture is from 65 years ago today. Emmett Till's killers acquitted after a jury deliberated for a little mor… https://t.co/YmOkTOUWRK
Retweeted by JasonI love that stupidity in this case is not liking the work that he, Doctor Frankenstein, does with corpses https://t.co/qEvAuzADkm
Retweeted by JasonI always forget how hard BLUE THUNDER goes in its climax. @highway_62 I watched that yesterday. Made a great hobo double feature with THE EMPEROR OF THE NORTH POLE. @Bustronaut It actually made them tons of money, it just tanked in China.honestly shocked BLACK WIDOW isn't going to D+ https://t.co/mTHAE6kUYJFEAR NOT CITIZEN THE CONTENT WILL STILL FLOW, REPORT TO YOUR LOCAL CONTENT CENTER TO OBTAIN CONTENT PELLETS https://t.co/jNTKe152X3 @darthastuart @HitlerPuncher DC is basically doing this right now, with their YA line of OGN's and Black Label for… https://t.co/UhExPcX2X2only faux ham, not real pigs https://t.co/8W2nSikoCD
Retweeted by Jasonthis looks really good https://t.co/pSUuIbFemL @HitlerPuncher @TheOtherJeff Jeff, it's her birthday so you are contractually obligated to be interested. @CeciliaTweets hey! happy birthday @TheOtherJeff oh noJapanese poster for Fire Walk with Me (1992) https://t.co/QTFXuXmy7l
Retweeted by Jasonif the Peacemaker TV series gives us John Cena assassinating a president, I’m in https://t.co/Z8PupAnwbv
Retweeted by Jason @ThatWeissGuy we'll definitely get a collection of the 80's series and maybe Checkmate! as wellI assumed Cena was in the movie as a glorified cameo to get amusingly killed, but this is a whole new level.hey, 13-year old Jason, here's a present https://t.co/lWvSvWfivg @neokefka_99 https://t.co/WdbabC533dI personally applied for 3 positions within Wells Fargo that I was very qualified for, and got 3 denials. My name i… https://t.co/MXRK062ppB
Retweeted by JasonFauci: “This happens with Senator Rand all the time.” https://t.co/FnY1uPo3QB
Retweeted by Jasonincredible record for Chargers HR https://t.co/58IsGmj8Em https://t.co/JTVwT02f12
Retweeted by Jason @Farts_Johnson Justified is so good at repurposing comedians for characters. @highway_62 @ThatWeissGuy If GM had people killing themselves with their "autopilot" or if their cars burst into fl… https://t.co/MChwF6njAF @highway_62 @ThatWeissGuy No, their tech is, if anything, lesser than what GM and others have created, Tesla is jus… https://t.co/jIhSQz1penMy Therapist: “Ska Ernest Borgnine can’t hurt you.” Ska Ernest Borgnine: https://t.co/3tXDI99WYU
Retweeted by Jason @uzionmain the key to being a galaxy-brained economist is believing that money is not a real-world thingsomeone should point out there's a corollary to this https://t.co/x9JL8zHo1cshockingly, Elon Musk lied https://t.co/zguNI6L3HBbelieve in yourself https://t.co/6e4CMPt5Q5
Retweeted by Jason @TheJewishDream "The President is too stupid to be racist." wow, congratsOld People Funkos. https://t.co/fseJ7qqVCh
Retweeted by JasonMen really think it’s okay to live like this https://t.co/KZa5w3FSW3
Retweeted by JasonI agree with this — Sunny is the only contemporary TV show that truly understands the American berserk https://t.co/6MeaJa6naY
Retweeted by Jasonhttps://t.co/KjvGwlS8q3
Retweeted by Jason“Men really think it's okay to live like this” *posts pic of spacious & tidy apartment sans furniture overlooking a city or nature*
Retweeted by Jason @ThatWeissGuy Oh dang! Thanks! @THE_Stefano_DLC It's clean, it's clutter free, it's better than our living room. @THE_Stefano_DLC I mean, I'd probably flop a mattress on the floor with pillows to prop me up, that camp chair is o… https://t.co/QNfy8T8xeePlease note, this did not reduce our desie to adopt a boy tuxedo and name him "Bart Fargo"Don’t call us trendsetters but since we got Judy last summer everyone is getting grey cats. https://t.co/0IcuT3CMyYI guarantee it's because their computer system won't allow them to waive it so they're trying to pressure us to just pay it.enjoying fighting with the high school over a fee for a book my son is not using because he is remote learningHe's spending it all on the Counter-Earth he and other billionaires are building on the far side of the sun. https://t.co/TUXd9WLbXMhttps://t.co/4eojgcIGKU
Retweeted by Jason @ThatWeissGuy @FlexFantastic Schools haven't been open a month, there's not near enough data for any conclusions. A @uzionmain Just did mine for today and lost my first battle. Fucking Drageaux @PnxNotDed Sonny Crockett was basically a grown-up James Spader from those movies. @uzionmain Yeah, I just started that and it's kicking my ass, but it's real good.SPD: Our response times will be much longer because of this 5% budget cut. We simply cannot accommodate because we… https://t.co/fu9nMeg0jh
Retweeted by Jason @jamesdleech gimme a Hoagie Man variant or nothing https://t.co/xgbmWGywwk @jamesdleech did he ax himself in the head?Let the record show that I NEVER forgot "I Will Build A Machine"
Retweeted by Jason @froonding_loom stolen from Steve Jobs, no originality in Hollywood @THE_Stefano_DLC @DieRobinsonDie @depechejoe Kathleen Kennedy and JJ Abrams in the sound booth screaming "PLAY THE HITS BITCH"
9/23
2020

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