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Parker @jeffparker Witch Mountain, Oregon

I'll walk right in your house and turn off Motion Smoothing, I write stuff you can read

1,116 Following   24,833 Followers   110,893 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/6/08


@CharlieChu done, and done! @thesteveorlando this is funnier than it should be @f_francavilla @DocShaner fully agree! @f_francavilla they have corrected it! @maguirekevin we've got to imbue his neighbor with incredible powers so this time, he finishes the jobI just backed TREKKER: RECKONING ON RIGEL on @Kickstarter https://t.co/dsv8rGT7nD @monkey__marc https://t.co/oq7E2tO6Gz @monkey__marc I hope you charged to high-heaven for that one! @DocShaner *matching seahorse tats*My boy Randall in the hooooooome streetttttcccchh https://t.co/mlt3EhTb25 @Brennanator if I had to it's your turn @kenlowery @aaronsibarium Ken whatabout when kids live for several decades and THEN die of natural causes, when we… https://t.co/j6lKaqY1pT @urbanbarbarian @nathanfairbairn @erdna11 yesssss @bigredrobot that burrito isn't tho amirite lol @TheBurnham hell yeah! @bigredrobot did they all stop and just start gaping at you @mattsouthworth @schweizercomics @lesmcclaine yeah, within seconds the drawing was so much more natural I was blown away! @schweizercomics @lesmcclaine it's now way easier than you think, even a dunce like me sort of figured it out. Real… https://t.co/FucTYae4Wf @taterpie I lived through the 80s once, dammit @briantruitt @westonfront I don't think anyone watched it, I know I didn't @MrTylerCrook it's bugged me forever, I read a lot of Stephen Jay Gould back in the day @BenjaminPFisher @briantruitt I am absolutely not because there is no MCCONAUGHEY in The Matrix @westonfront @briantruitt Serenity, sorry for the spoiler! @briantruitt Serenity! @TheBurnham relaxing @McLauchlin (pulls cap back and makes everyone touch my scar) @briantruitt wait what was the movie from about three years ago where everyone realized they were in a video game,… https://t.co/AERmE2yLi7 @McLauchlin @onlineandscared those guys with soft hands, from countin' money @urbanbarbarian u beastThe 3 types of guys you will date https://t.co/vDb1chN1TC
Retweeted by Parker @seankmckeever and yeah, the Coach ones work, I agree. @seankmckeever at some point, ad writers on almost everything convinced clients "we can't get across what you do, t… https://t.co/KwMiZrZ49v @seankmckeever since I seem to see mostly Progressive commercials, its odd that they clearly split into two differe… https://t.co/C3MMCW2g5x @seankmckeever at some point the dominant theory became 'just make them remember the name' so this 'humor' was the path they all took.
8/5
2021
@danmcdaid sounds like my dude Black PantherHAUNTHOLOGY—my pandemic inspired horror comic collection, is approaching its final 24hrs on @Kickstarter. We’ve go… https://t.co/h70bGEwFgv
Retweeted by ParkerIt’s way past time to give a shoutout to the people who watch out for Mobil gas stations going out of business and… https://t.co/CMHtVIZNQY
Retweeted by Parker @dirtwizardpdx Maybe I'll do that in a blog post, I want the next newsletter to include tightening up brakes @j_cohl you have to DIVERSIFY, John @ericnewsom I watched that on PBS as a kid and loved it @Thomwade and I'll pay through the nose! @steve_lieber no one could tear us a new one as effectively and hilariously as Tom. And no one could point and laug… https://t.co/QKlHGNqtRaI imagine I'll pop out a monocle when I eventually learn how many sock puppets a single person can run 🧐I tend to block JoeBunchanumbers accts when I notice them following or RTing me because they're usually cultivated… https://t.co/56sYPPIxz5 @lesmcclaine that one connects its own dots, whereas the other demands that we know how you offended a clown @pvponline @jonrog1 @philnoto I was so stunned because it was so much more enjoyable than SPECTRE and I was not exspectering that @bigplastichead is he in the Love My Planet segment? @VaGentlenerd is that what they think it is for @steve_lieber @gabrielhardman I know it's taking a lot for you not to put that Drew Friedman panel in here rn @gabrielhardman I'm not saying there's a number of ways this could have been delivered that would have made it work… https://t.co/t1i750Z14B
8/4
2021
@DarickR https://t.co/MKyxFPE45z @steve_lieber @alex_segura @xaimeh it still gets me every time too @Sleestak I can sub in if you're busy during the Tell 'em Time @JoshFialkov @Kevin_Church https://t.co/RESyVIaqHj @Kevin_Church I too always remind crowds I address that they love me @HitlerPuncher would bet everything Jennifer Jason Leigh does not heart John Landis @TomTaylorMade https://t.co/n7pVUFyza6 @kenlowery sorta rhymes with bomb lighting @hotelfred @Scott1Gray @monkey__marc also, I'm now certain if I were in NZ I could identify your dad solely by how you cartoon himRemember carob? What was that all about?
Retweeted by Parker @hotelfred @Scott1Gray @monkey__marc SUCH LANGRIDGE! ( I love that this approach also makes it sound like something Popeye would say) @marissadraws @allysonwillsey oh great now Willsey and me are PETS @allysonwillsey it's infuriating to try to remember if you took meds upon waking up, remembering other days when you did @allysonwillsey maybe one of those ice cube tray-looking pill calendars @ZackDavisson that was my thought. Ten years ago I was seeing the Bryan Lee O'Malley influence everywhere at conven… https://t.co/PQUUvvbSMfPresenting a NEW Volume 4 of Bandette by @PaulTobin & @ColleenCoover! Details and a peek inside:… https://t.co/TpOMeSUTtY
Retweeted by Parker @dhoffman1928 @alis_samp @MitchGerads and good luck to them figuring out how he does any of it, he can't even explain itAnd hey, dig my Newsletter out of your Promotions folder or your bike is just going to *sit there* the rest of the… https://t.co/w1fL73EqjZ @uzionmain does this get NYers a cabinet with Tim Meadows and others though @shutupdougan they should have let every passenger walk by and throw a punch after he was taped down too @CullyHamner @philhester look Hamner no one's trying to put you out of a job @philhester Hear hear! (Secretary of The Interiors) @Robwilliams71 I hope you made a complete ass of yourself today! 🎂🍻 @monkey__marc very sharp! @gavinguidry @chalkyheart @Cattifer @HelioscopePDX me, mine @Robwilliams71 Very Many Happies! 🥳🎶🥧 @jgerity @ZackDavisson pretty interesting, and yes, that's an eyebrow-raising last line @TerryDodsonArt https://t.co/nm3arLpbwR @chalkyheart @Cattifer @HelioscopePDX well done VB @HenryBarajas Now we'll work together, a dream team @Jody_Houser @ryancody @ZackDavisson @Cattifer @GeekintheCity @georgembenson @CraigTaillefer @sandy_jarrellhttps://t.co/ZR8ewcJDd7
8/3
2021
@librariman our sins will follow us @JAMALIGLE um hello, this is very much a Hulu pitch sir @brianmwilcox @steve_lieber that is a solid tip! Later I realized other helpful bits I should have included but I w… https://t.co/7xtkkpCEFeJoin us this Sunday, August 8 for our next #SirenNationSpeaks! "Intro to Digital Coloring" is a free art workshop o… https://t.co/3Ro2Crue2Q
Retweeted by ParkerTruly the end times as I have made a THIRD newsletter. Including: a reminder to order books, rad links to co-creato… https://t.co/pkU0TvblHvmeanwhile I Drift through flipping off everybody, crowd cheers https://t.co/syMny63qy2 @alex_segura @HenryBarajas @OniPress @PublishersWkly https://t.co/PQ16qRsJil @thesteveorlando that's hard to top! @nikdirga @bigplastichead If only he hadn't Kept Deezening! https://t.co/ilKLrOy1KU @ARTofCOOP this is a triumph @HopelessDent @DanSlott @maguirekevin the last one I saw was this velvet floppy job, almost like something found back in Raves @DanSlott @maguirekevin everybody I've seen on one also has an accompanying Silly Hat @RobotJQ @sandy_jarrell @ZackDavisson @ryancody @themikenorton @GeekintheCity @Jody_Houser @georgembensonhttps://t.co/gGEHX7I3NZ
8/2
2021
@Ron_Randall @Cattifer https://t.co/2Sv9slnbwmI don't know what to say that will make people listen. I wish I could snap so many people out of their selfish stup… https://t.co/JUHkZwSTCS
Retweeted by Parker @monkey__marc 🛩️🛩️🛩️🛩️ @Cyberjaeger I mainly remember I wanted him to beat up some AIs @benito_cereno @DocShaner I regret to confirm, but @shawnaldridge has brought back a foe that I think you will approve @Cyberjaeger No, they didn't fit the tone of the 60's characters we used, they should have had a short like Captain… https://t.co/AVW7BEaDCS
8/1
2021

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