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Jennifer Lee Rossman @JenLRossman Binghamton, New York

Gay tornado made of sharks. Now with bangs! https://t.co/jijpBXoWLc she/her

2,347 Following   4,056 Followers   38,668 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/22/16


In case you missed it, my latest scifi short story "Know They Will Die, Under the Salt of It" is available to read… https://t.co/1f4oo4VlFV
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanOK Twitter. What do we name the inconveniently lorge narwhal. (She's a girl, by the way, and she is transgender.) https://t.co/T49RhMpcV9
10/21
2020
"Problem solved. You don't have to be Irish now, you just have to be Jeff Goldblum."… is a quote from my day that I… https://t.co/Se7ZuEZ2jfMy friend is doing a very bad Irish accent so I told him his ancestors are going to repossess his freckles @Autistic_Ace I have no ideaHot take, considering the huge overlap every autism testing should get an ADHD screening and viceversa. We here d… https://t.co/WrxC8gIvIX
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanI feel like hugging an otter would solve all my problems
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee Rossman @cyranope Happy birthday! @bongomansam Lee.a princess https://t.co/vo5DQjEW5B
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanMost of you are aware that my dad died unexpectedly yesterday morning. Several of you have asked how you can suppo… https://t.co/PzBfe1Cvww
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanText free version for your own memes https://t.co/EOsoGrcbau
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanI know we’re all tired of exhortations to vote but this one’s got a cat in it. https://t.co/IACWcTpl4C
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanIt's happening! First one will go out some time today. https://t.co/D0vlMlwW7I https://t.co/yMxkVbIXdo
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanI have a story about narwhals in this book… https://t.co/sgDuO6gln1Y'ALL. The narwhal is flipping huge. She's like 2 feet long at least. I was expecting a beanie baby size. Oh. This… https://t.co/mmeXJvDYe3 @AuthorizedMusin Yes. The Czechoslovakian part of me is very hungry @HippieGeekGirl Right? That's what I miss about real shopping: random stuff you didn't know you wanted I wish Inst… https://t.co/MaobyNhMdXIn today's edition of "jen copes with the pandemic," I just bought pierogies, nachos, and a plush narwhal on the In… https://t.co/xYrWvQ6Y4oTurns out it's like a charity thing for the Double H Ranch which helps sick kids and their families and stuff. And… https://t.co/GgZutStVoRThere is only one item in this category. It is a plush narwhal I am MORE INTRIGUEDSo I'm looking at price chopper on the Instacart today, trying to add something to get to the minimum amount becaus… https://t.co/SGaJqC0Cxf @AuthorizedMusin I think that's why he and I are such good friends 😆 the other day one of us quoted the Wizard of O… https://t.co/kAAWQp5wCU @Tinglev They both voice characters in Batman. Apparently @CatFrantic OK so my friends are nerdier then his friends because none of them got his joke. @BifInMediasRes Gotcha. I don't think he actually ships it, but he was upset no one understood his joke so he asked me to ask Twitter? LOL @AuthorizedMusin Yeah I mean I don’t know if he actually ships red hood and joker. He just made the joke and no one got it and he was sadI am 💀 https://t.co/RaubZKYrWw
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee Rossman @BifInMediasRes I don't know what that emoji means 😆 @AuthorizedMusin Is that a good or bad oh noooooMe [chanting]: theropods, theropods, theropods — @SUEtheTrex: theropods, THEROPODS Jurassic Park twitter fans: [pou… https://t.co/Mr4o1K6qaZ
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanWhen Alan, Ellie, and Ian team up to push the restraining bar off of themselves and they get off mid-ride while Ham… https://t.co/5WTbZqw1m4
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanReplace Laura Dern with my mom and Alan with seven-year-old me, and this is my childhood. https://t.co/1g7b7eqmXdHello welcome back to my Jurassic Park Ted Talk. Today we are discussing why this is the most perfect monologue in… https://t.co/aLTfK0gmDO
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanMe in a nutshell: https://t.co/rDAM9jmfN2 @TomJolly19 30 minute long origami video: you need to be experienced to make this Me, who can't make a paper airpl… https://t.co/YQkIbFDn2rFriend has challenged my Twitter followers to guess what fandom he is talking about when he says "I ship Jensen Ack… https://t.co/5MmnnSAptJI was wondering what the gender-neutral version of "homeboy" and "homegirl" was when I realized there's already "ho… https://t.co/khweIYYjy6
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanEveryone in my group home is wearing medical type gown things and if they forget to tie them around their necks, th… https://t.co/zWkmLdbnrV @AegisImmemorial Wooooo! @DustinGrowick @HattiesburgZoo In that first picture, it really looks like you guys are dancing and you are dipping himIt’s #InternationalSlothDay. Chewy is a Hoffman’s two-toed sloth. His ears look like hidden buttholes. https://t.co/YKWZr7GgZR
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee Rossman @DustinGrowick @HattiesburgZoo They told you those were ears instead of secret extra buttholes. And you believed them. That's adorable.I just read the words "secret separation" as "paper scorpion" and I'm not sure how that happened but now I want a paper scorpion @willowcabins Runner up favorite: a big storm knocked down a tree by my library and before they removed it, you cou… https://t.co/MK4QwggBls @willowcabins Happy birthday! We had this apple tree in our backyard, and it had a branch at just my arm level so I… https://t.co/6oD6VgYC1S
10/20
2020
TIL that Noah also had to bring two of each type of demon on the ark with him, and honestly this changes my percept… https://t.co/F52F2Oyrvo
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee Rossman @premeesaurus My fish tank is divided in half by plexiglass (because fish drama) and each side has its own snail, a… https://t.co/CxHtHUySoNMy new favourite thing about working from home. Twitter, meet Ralph 🐾 https://t.co/PRBa3LC7Wg
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanA few of these opportunities are still available! Please spread the word! https://t.co/g0Dfh0Pvj7
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanYou know, when you really think about it, bathroom signs don't always say they are for specific genders. According… https://t.co/DXMhW3DEnG @daunithology A platter = the plot of My phone hates me @daunithology Here I am assuming I am part of dinosaur Twitter and then immediately after tweeting it realized you… https://t.co/byUSGWtkwDQuestion for paleo/dinosaur twitter, do you reckon dinosaurs would have wagged their tails, or otherwise, how do 𝘺𝘰… https://t.co/y4SHgfPPFu
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee Rossman @daunithology I think the raptors would bob their head up and down like a happy lil parakeetAs promised, we have shirts! https://t.co/4xwRTNm8Xa https://t.co/XA8z1aYA5B
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanPerson not stuck inside a giant fish: hello what are you stuck inside and do you care? Person stuck inside a giant… https://t.co/VxNw46bTLt @BnanaPowet I figured it was like our english phrase bottlenecking? Bunch of roads merge into one road, causes a traffic jam?99% of the time, we communicate great in English. But being able to explain something in a different way makes such a difference sometimes.They are teaching me more French, and they have asked me to correct their english grammar. One of them, if she is… https://t.co/YhJu7CPGqGInstantly we found what we were looking for. No more frustration.I'm getting frustrated at myself, she's trying so hard to figure out what I'm saying. And then I suddenly interrupt… https://t.co/eTBMAhTT1NThe other day, I was trying to tell one of them where something was. It was in a drawer. And that's one of those we… https://t.co/rD397C8ZfeBut they speak French.And it frustrates me that when they don't know the word I am using, I can't figure out another way to explain it. I… https://t.co/kZ7d7mfN4QWe have two staff members originally from Rwanda. Fabulous ladies, I love them like sisters, and their English is v… https://t.co/Rn7tY5asM6I learned. I got better. But I still get so frustrated when I can't explain something to someone. Not at them for… https://t.co/r0vYsvqtllBut I was horrible at communicating in English. For all her faults, for all our problems, we had a short hand. We k… https://t.co/6C37FRt3RRI kept it up. Dropped off a little when I ran away from home, but then I have learned most of the basics and could… https://t.co/rg9aHE8uBxI started learning French because I was bored at home. This is back home with my mom a few years ago. She started l… https://t.co/gtgkLvnfVfI make fun of it sometimes for giving me weird sentences, but @duolingo has actually improved my life. Not in a hug… https://t.co/UzNOXpaRtZI know it's a huge cliché that everything sounds better in French but I am in love with the French word for traffic… https://t.co/GTyk34Ng3Eseatbelts everyone!! 🚌💨 the frizz for #blacktober https://t.co/lNtBVol272
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee Rossmangood morning to these lesbian grizzly bear moms only https://t.co/eOrTU3WPrt
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanI believe, scientifically speaking, this is called a ‘shrew-shrew train’. https://t.co/Hb9vbN6HrA
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanI will never ever ever not die laughing at this https://t.co/Uycd49udBR
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanOh my god these kids are dressed up as the cast of Schitt's Creek https://t.co/PVLwxxZPRr
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanWhat do stores going out of business and unmarried mermaids have in common? They both gotta liquidate
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanCapitalism is horrifying for everyone, but especially for BIPOC, immigrants, queer folks, women, people with disabi… https://t.co/lqguZ53E3d
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanOh, to be a raccoon with a broom https://t.co/wEnZB1HoBy
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanOK I just saw a drawing of a saxophone and I thought it was a weird ass parasaurolophus skull so I think I need to sleep @geekgalgroks I was trying, but I can't find it LOL I like the way you think thoughSomeone better invite me somewhere fancy if I buy this outfit.😆I do think I need a necktie for this outfit to tone down the femininity of the dressBy the way I feel like I should show y'all the clothes I'm talking about. It is not a subtle print. https://t.co/oC1wXfhGbeOK so… I may have clicked add to cart on the dress. But it's 1130 at night and I am not letting myself actually buy… https://t.co/h25uZaVFNcOh no, I found a pajama set in the same fabric. I could wear pants, shirt, and short sleeve jacket of the same fabricI feel good today. I mean, I feel like shit, but shit with glitter in it.Did y'all know you can just BUY shirts with the Legend Of The Hidden Temple teams on them?I found a dress made of the same fabric as my button down dinosaur shirt and if I ever need to go to a fancy event,… https://t.co/3ddVOcTK26Without downloading new pictures, what is it like dating you (I mean, I'm assuming; never actually dated before, an… https://t.co/jgTQVdstuI
10/19
2020
Renaissance Press: Call for Submissions – Artificial Divide - an own voices anthology by Blind and visually impaire… https://t.co/sZRIb7KwUe
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee RossmanRegister today for #RenVCon a two-day virtual writers’ conference October 24 & 25. Hosted by @renaissancepre1. Pane… https://t.co/K2xFbc7NdW
Retweeted by Jennifer Lee Rossman(I should say, animals don't die in my stories if they are actual characters. If an animal dies or is found dead, t… https://t.co/pkPep8EFJa(the dog is OK by the way. I mean. Sad shit happens. Her human is a zombie and he doesn't play fetch anymore. And t… https://t.co/fhr84aVstFAnyway. I should probably promote the book. It's a good book. Even though it contains me rambling about dogs and zo… https://t.co/skRkGwT4itI know I'm good at things once they actually start and this anxiety will go away when the first word comes out of m… https://t.co/lDl7brfnXE(Somehow I feel like that might be a good incentive for people to attend this event BUT ALSO this is a genuine fear of mine 😆)And of course this is not a short poem. It's 35 rhyming couplets. There is a ton of time for me to zone out and sta… https://t.co/H5WWXJrPvTOR, because it is written in iambic pentameter, sometimes I accidentally start singing it to the tune of the Gilligans island theme song.
10/18
2020

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