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i write for the good place and broad city and i wrote for parks and recreation and lady dynamite and i'm still gonna die someday

1,761 Following   155,146 Followers   5,296 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/8/09


@TheOlsgaard you think this makes him more likely to stay East?what a damn season https://t.co/XsJqqHaxO3
Retweeted by Jen StatskyThis is so fucking funny. https://t.co/ucmz5VLJri
Retweeted by Jen Statskyhttps://t.co/2ABxW8CdVf
Retweeted by Jen Statsky @imaliwaller well a slot just opened up clearlytonight i asked one of my *BEST* friends if she would run me over with her car and she didn’t even seem to consider it??? pretty fucked up
6/15
2019
you’re born alone and you die canceled
Retweeted by Jen StatskyLebron miss the playoffs one year and a whole nother country win
Retweeted by Jen Statskyyeah whatever who cares, is Kawhi coming to LA
6/14
2019
In a nutshell, what it's like to work with these two writers: https://t.co/PfAD4pf3zk
Retweeted by Jen Statsky @KenTremendous eat shit
6/13
2019
hey I'm looking to vote for someone with a bad record on just about everything who will jab a finger in the face of… https://t.co/at68R3cLRg
Retweeted by Jen Statskysame https://t.co/0PCxzM8F64
6/12
2019
@imaliwaller National Bitch Association and lemme tell ya, you’re the damn presidentI loved this interview and highly recommend listening to it right after 12-15 NBA podcasts. https://t.co/BKU45KZMPaI love that Big Little Lies is basically a half dozen of your favorite actresses saying “We’ll see about THAT” to e… https://t.co/6Uyqu38nCz
Retweeted by Jen Statskydisqualifying https://t.co/3WEnt1Z9C5
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
6/11
2019
Men: Me Too has gone so far that now I’m afraid to mentor women. Women: (walking to their cars at night looking ov… https://t.co/FlzG2t71VQ
Retweeted by Jen Statskyi’m in! i mean apparently i already was but now i really am https://t.co/jIiMFbMCZGRemembering Anthony Bourdain June 25, 1956 – June 8, 2018 “If I’m an advocate for anything, it’s to move. As far a… https://t.co/e2TwTpwgg5
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
6/9
2019
You know how you can tell when a comedian is thin-skinned? When someone else is funnier than he is, and he loses hi… https://t.co/fbwRKYfLNQ
Retweeted by Jen Statskyif the Warriors come back from 3-1 everyone has to delete twitter. I’m sorry but thems the rules.
Retweeted by Jen Statsky @Rachel__Nichols @KenTremendous is The Jump hiring❤️❤️❤️ https://t.co/rhOJKaUhH7No one in NBA finals history has ever come back after being down 3-1. This is huge.
Retweeted by Jen StatskyJust crush these two with an avalanche of Emmys ya dummies! https://t.co/fRiWdGtvvE
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
6/8
2019
Live in Schiff’s district like me? Call him and let him know you won’t be voting for him if he keeps putting off im… https://t.co/bCziIvzvTR
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
6/7
2019
It's a mistake for the @DNC to refuse to hold a #ClimateDebate, on the most critical issue of this election. Why wo… https://t.co/1plfZLk6gJ
Retweeted by Jen StatskyWarren’s progressive, pragmatic policies and her tangible vision for what America could be feels like a life raft f… https://t.co/PdsTgaYAF1
Retweeted by Jen StatskyShe is... very good. https://t.co/gxOLVfwnLm
Retweeted by Jen StatskyBREAKING: The DNC just refused to host a #ClimateDebate in the 2020 primaries. There’s only one candidate in this r… https://t.co/SfuU0IBepb
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
6/6
2019
The DNC is refusing to host a #ClimateDebate, which is truly THE VERY LEAST THEY COULD DO TO SAVE THE WORLD?? pleas… https://t.co/1TlmlaEW4p
Retweeted by Jen Statskyhey @DNC - this sucks! https://t.co/Iu0Jr93sMK
6/5
2019
Boston, MA. Since 1630, the very best America has to offer, and also the very very very lamest and worst and most e… https://t.co/UzLYxGrnar
Retweeted by Jen StatskyI was interviewed by the LA Times about crowdfunding/donating money to ppl directly, which is something I deeply be… https://t.co/W6QrVcUd5N
Retweeted by Jen Statskygreat piece by ⁦@AJentleson⁩. insane, in light of 2016, that so many Dems still embrace “relax, we’re currently ahe… https://t.co/7gD3U6iPoL
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
6/4
2019
mmmk, really did not need to hear this on a MONDAY!!!!! https://t.co/9f4HxWzHkm🔥🔥🔥 #WGASolidarityChallenge https://t.co/nWqNg2BHV0yeah sounds amazing what time suits you https://t.co/AtiEWJel20
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
6/3
2019
PSA: the bar for tweeting a funny interaction that you and your significant other had is much higher than you think it isThe guy who invented the hashtag has one of the weirdest and horniest bios in town https://t.co/35nWSnCocH
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
6/2
2019
@nsilverberg Before you go: should i read this book??? Is it good? Will it make me delete *my* twitter? That’s the goal here.
6/1
2019
.@bowenyang for president https://t.co/1St3L6tCbVas a clippers fan i feel extremely confused @onlxn go Dubs! @MeganNeuringer lol
5/31
2019
Is your Representative on this list? Do you want them to be? Call: (202) 224-3121. https://t.co/Rnd4dINGDN
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
5/30
2019
today’s a fine day to POLITELY ask Nancy Pelosi to support an impeachment inquiry 415.556.4862 (SF) 202.225.4965 (DC)
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
5/29
2019
With the #Raptors about to hit the global stage, I’m going to share a story about what makes Toronto, and Canada, s… https://t.co/9gWldsaADA
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
5/27
2019
@Farbod_E what’s our best hope for him to come? warriors sweep? better for Raps to actually somehow win? @KenTremendous @onlxn Owen has a lot to answer for right now.Kawhi Leonard just won the eastern conference finals and he has the facial expression of a man who is fourth in line at a deli.
Retweeted by Jen StatskyBucks were up by 15 with 2:18 left in the third. as someone who lived through game 6 of Rockets-Clippers in 2015, m… https://t.co/Mf47P3HdG2i can’t wait to root for my beloved Warriors to sweep in 4whoever wins this series will destroy the warriors in the finals. they’ve played more games so they’ve had more tim… https://t.co/Cs7Wlgvt1O
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
5/26
2019
Unclear why we’re all still using this site when the worst case scenario for a tweet is it ruins your entire life a… https://t.co/BuDoA4K82b
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
5/25
2019
I need to make peace with the fact that no one is coming to the Clippers this summer. Should be fun, maybe also Jo… https://t.co/dHyhYgaUMZ @samkimsamkim ehhhh i think he’s going to the KnicksI’m going to have to root for a Warriors finals sweep so that Kawhi comes to LA??? clearly I have done something ve… https://t.co/icsLr4C7F0why can’t literally one good thing ever happen (this is basketball related but i think it applies across the board)
5/24
2019
When I was at Gersh, I made $750/wk as a script coordinator. That's $32,083/year post tax. Gersh and my manager at… https://t.co/Xmhcp8Oe21
Retweeted by Jen StatskyPlease consider giving Jay @JayInslee $5 so there will be at least one person running for President who wants to sa… https://t.co/Ox5rzviN4c
Retweeted by Jen Statskythis suuuuuuuucks https://t.co/0Z2GMCFvHC
5/21
2019
Not a joke: I found a piece of jewelry on the sidewalk in lower Manhattan early Sunday morning. If you lost somethi… https://t.co/Qwy7XJ3Ipm
Retweeted by Jen StatskyOk this *might* be a bit of an “unpopular opinion”, but I think everyone who watches and likes game of thrones is a… https://t.co/mTEuUtqJgA
Retweeted by Jen Statskythis makes me horny beyond belief!!!! https://t.co/WkJUmQBb0n
5/20
2019
Agree. Though for the record, @ewarren is also saying it. https://t.co/ft0ReAHvwH
Retweeted by Jen StatskyOh hey yay it's that time again for women to open up all their wounds and secrets to persuade you that we are human… https://t.co/pOfEesoo2Q
Retweeted by Jen StatskyToday is a good day to switch to solar and wind (if u can afford it) and to start turning off lights, limiting flig… https://t.co/j5T5cennrj
Retweeted by Jen Statskythe blazers frontcourt look like they invented facebook
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
5/19
2019
@adamkling5 mouth guardnot one likeable player on the golden state warriors, pretty coolI think about this dedication in @GloriaSteinem's book all the time. It always makes me cry. https://t.co/5kefme2qwu
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
5/17
2019
Congratulations, Verve! Welcome back & thank you for choosing #ClientsOverConflicts! https://t.co/Bqeo3yOkPM
Retweeted by Jen Statskyso far the big questions Americans are being asked this week are, “do you wash your legs in the shower?” and, “do y… https://t.co/TfKiqqkJYJ
5/16
2019
Women everywhere today: https://t.co/wVOUSdu50u
Retweeted by Jen StatskyWhat’s happening in Alabama is misogynist backwards bullshit. If you are able to give, @NARAL is partnering with… https://t.co/maKn1roDm6
5/15
2019
Warren team is very good at: - Consistently making news of their own choosing - Doing so in a way that reinforces… https://t.co/C3Etj70JRJ
Retweeted by Jen StatskyHey LA! Remember when you said you'd care about local elections after Donald Trump won? Well, if you live in Distri… https://t.co/2pUE4CswwI
Retweeted by Jen StatskyIf you are hiring writers right now, a reminder that @LizAlps has made an incredible spreadsheet of writers whose w… https://t.co/rfG6HjiE1wWGA WRITERS: I'm looking for comedy writers with some TV comedy/variety experience and an interest in sports for a… https://t.co/x5OnLrrDrQ
Retweeted by Jen StatskyI read @akilahgreen’s pilot WASHED and really loved it. Super funny and really unique, specific characters. If you’… https://t.co/rktJT7ghMjLizzy is the absolute best. HIRE HER https://t.co/78GtSze74O
5/14
2019
Hi everyone. If we don't fix climate change the entire world will be either on fire or under water. @JayInslee is t… https://t.co/DfqYXt4hTq
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
5/12
2019
SHOWRUNNERS! Got some fantastic writers here for you to read, meet & hire. ICYMI - writers lists! 👇🏽👇🏽… https://t.co/rQrMLntVrO
Retweeted by Jen Statskywhen i open the door for Postmates: https://t.co/Tq5TQfZbqlthis movie was made by the literal best we’ve got and is so so fun. you’re gonna wanna see it. on Netflix today 🤙🏻… https://t.co/xdOPGlQfkwIf you're pro-life you should be fighting climate change, not abortion. If you're pro-life you should be fighting c… https://t.co/i66jRgcVcX
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
5/10
2019
@tweetrajouhari @astonoha @sandyhonig i remember @DarcyCarden telling me about you guys and then losing my mind lau… https://t.co/RPp5qNYXJN
5/7
2019
If we know each other, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me to ask for a recommendation. Sometimes the thing yo… https://t.co/foJDQljRPjSometimes it can feel weird/too pushy to ask someone you know to put in a good word for you to a showrunner if you… https://t.co/Ud8t0Qr0sZ
5/6
2019
in retrospect i probably should have reversed this and ended on UTI, but here’s the thing: I’m not very good at writing comedyi either have a UTI or primetime pilot panicI’m uploading this to Pornhub as we speak. https://t.co/8GuHDJguaX
Retweeted by Jen Statskyseeing Steph Curry fail is so enjoyable @imchriskelly it’s hell and i’m quitting soon, plz join!!!!guys, throw another one up on the scoreboard for “straight white male fragility” https://t.co/Fc74SPJTy3So just to recap, the Speaker of the House believes that the President will not willingly leave office if he loses… https://t.co/x7lTtMn25X
Retweeted by Jen Statsky
5/5
2019
last night i stayed up until 2:30 watching youtube clips from the ocean’s 8 press junket and this morning i was lik… https://t.co/nWf1Uk0ohZ @sasimons oh wow
5/4
2019

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