Sign in with Twitter

Username:

I am a still small voice of calm and reason.

190 Following   7,193,708 Followers   6,791 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/17/12


@StevenProctor09 Ah no but you see I’m from Yorkshire so in my mind, everything over £8 is a rip off. @IamCTandyournot I didn’t say I actually bought any of the things @BrettReylander ITV? @ascullion83 @ChrisGPackham @MarkLennyskillz @GretaThunberg I think you may be right. @montttana Er. We have.Went Christmas shopping in Manchester this morning and everything cost £140. @sniffpetrol @Carpervert Is it me?
12/6
2019
@drext727 Definitely the Pole
12/4
2019
@JohnMarsham Are you suggestion that Attenborough’s camera teams cycle to the South Pole?
12/2
2019
@soleeloquy Life’s not fair is it. @OneHungryBong No. I said “in Italy, looking good is more important than looking where you’re going”
12/1
2019
@magicrat44 Apologies. Still a bloody good song though. @boj675 Diddums @drjennygray For having an opinion. Not a chance
11/30
2019
@NielsOeltjen @SBSNews They should be seen and not heard
11/29
2019
@jqbilbao @FaolainLuke Good, isn’t it.
11/28
2019
@gpmdq He wasn’t an Argie
11/23
2019
I’ll definitely watch this. https://t.co/CLPv0MNqKh
11/22
2019
It turns out I haven’t driven in any of the world’s GP tracks.Yes but a labrador would eat it in the end. https://t.co/EIZD2oNaPU
11/18
2019
@Katanay Nope. @bimaprashadana Done thatAnd Sepang. Scrub this thread. It turns out I’ve only driven about no GP tracks.No wait. Austin. Haven’t done that eitherI think Brazil is the only GP track I haven’t driven. Weird
11/17
2019
@ccedrift Wasn’t planning on it
11/16
2019
@emmajaneAnd Sorry about the pants thing @Richardbromilow It hasn’t. I’m filming the next series right now. @Hamzamemon79 Er. It’s my watch.
11/13
2019
@EmilyClarkson A good pieceIn case anyone was wondering, we fashioned this rudimentary plane out of metal and are now reunited with our crew. https://t.co/l6E3IdZf70 @SkipTurner1 It’s not a vacation. This is important workGod I wish I’d done this. It’s brilliant https://t.co/T5if0n7b3r
11/8
2019
The good thing is: our tropical island is in the EU. @BrownInk01 Thankyou for explaining our joke to usI’m going outside. I may be some time. https://t.co/YB078BOJkZWe’re marooned. We may have to eat him. https://t.co/3ntylB4hWt
Retweeted by Jeremy Clarkson @Zander_1982 We really didn’t plan this. It’s a hilarious fuck up @tonksy84 Can’t you read?https://t.co/hN1fUnXDBYMay is going through the rations too fast. We may not survive. https://t.co/rdEEz37rwNWe elected to fly on the cargo plane with the kit and it broke. Now we’re marooned on a tropical island with nothing but a car and wineOnly May, Hammond and I could do this: end up 500 miles away from the entire crew, on the wrong island. @BrettReylander It’s all bollocks @since73me @BBC_TopGear @MrJamesMay @Tesla @elonmusk Just after hell freezes over
11/7
2019
@k9krackers @MrJamesMay Bet you it is in the part of France we are going to. @simon_arobbins 30 acres of wheat to go. Rolling seems to be my new issueThe weather forecast is shit for the next week. @MrJamesMay Fancy a trip to France?
11/3
2019
Feel bad for the people of Watford. Lost this morning and then lost again this afternoon. @musehanezoe @nix140 Can so@wine explain to him?Congratulations to South Africa. You killed usAnd we have May on the wing.She will probably field the dragon in the second half. Scary.But amazed that Khaleesi is playing rugby for South Africa @torzmclors DiddumsGo England
11/2
2019
@ukeastcoast @DanAttle I’m well aware of that. Still hard work though @dale338 I’ve got one. 270hp. Don’t need Hammond
10/29
2019
@al_dvanh Lots @tom_derrick1 Not sure you quite understand what I said.To all my South African friends. Bring it on.
10/27
2019
I’ve had a sudden second wind. Am going to the pub now.Fuck me, farming is hard work. I’m too tired to go to the pub.
10/25
2019
Edible? Or deadly? https://t.co/gGhxja0OE1
10/23
2019
I am NOT a Liverpool person but this VAR stuff is bollocksForgive my ignorance but what’s the point of VAR? @TravisBMillard I do. Thankyou.
10/20
2019
And in Roman Catholic, 2 stone is 12.7 kg.And so my American friends understand, two stone is 28 pounds.It is true that I lost two stone. But I’ve now put one of them back on again. These are the realities of vanity. @neilbromage Yes. @Revysonen Weirdly, it was better today than usual
10/18
2019
@GrandTourNation I’ve done a legal thing on their arses
10/14
2019
@TheChilledDoc @PrimeVideo It’s on MGM. So now how do you feel? @mooseteets I know!!! That one was hilarious @sammiejayyy95 me thenI think they mean “God strewth” https://t.co/LmvVEKySaBIf you want a laugh this afternoon, watch the Battle of Britain with subtitles on. They literally have nothing to do with what’s being said
10/13
2019
Letting your hair down pal @MrJamesMay @JeremyClarkson https://t.co/TQm65nCQx8
Retweeted by Jeremy Clarkson @iEarlGreyTV @CitizenGibbon Why didn’t the cyclist pull over to let the traffic by? That would be the kind thing to do.
10/12
2019
To soften Brexit impact, Nissan got £80m of taxpayer cash and now say that if Brexit happens, they’ll leave anyway. I want my money back. @JohnThebigjc Whaaaaaaaat?Literally the biggest surprise of the year: John Entwistle was a freemason.
10/11
2019
@DerekWainwright Gym. Armoury.
10/10
2019
@sullivanem_ Sorry. My bad. @Official_WXUK @MillionaireUK Don’t worry. I did. @Joshemsley1996 @ITV @MillionaireUK Exactly @the_johncharles Of course not @HarrisElectric well you didn’t @AirSeaRescue @JustinOnWeb I respect its mandate. @jeffreyzenker Can someone point him in the right direction
10/6
2019
@dimkimi Don’t worry. The first special is done already and I’ll do the next one when the planting is over in early November. @PauljePaul No actually. I’m the first to admit I don’t really know how to do it. I’m listening to opinions though @NFUFoodChain @thegrandtour And a vet @Missinternetty YesEverything is going wrong. I don’t know how farmers don’t all have coronaries. https://t.co/2GGfyWLhuF
10/4
2019
@jonnothegr8 What’s that on your face? @declanhegarty10 Which rather proves my point.
9/30
2019
@mrarhayes The usual suspects. @phildampier In the same way that I started my career as a milkman
9/29
2019

0