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Joey Aucoin @Joeyaucoin Sherman Oaks, California

I write stuff and I have two little kids in the valley. LA Rams fan. Most of my tweets will be about movies. Biden/Harris 🇺🇸

959 Following   1,675 Followers   14,506 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/18/09


@CoolDMZ I seriously thought you meant the restaurant when I first read that.it is midnight in Omaha and people are still stranded in the cold after the Trump rally https://t.co/zpijVAeLZS
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin @davescales I say give them two rings for winning during a pandemic! 🇺🇸 @davescales https://t.co/I0FMprs27wY’all trash @LAClippers
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin @MattInRealLife @xxjeannexx @JCSaturday Padres have a great future ahead of them and now they got those sweet uniforms!https://t.co/49mMVEpGge @xxjeannexx @MattInRealLife @JCSaturday Next season is gonna be weird too. Put an asterisk on that as well? I mean,… https://t.co/TG2izxOnsr @MattInRealLife @xxjeannexx @JCSaturday You guys would have been shouting “legit” if your team won.Mookie Betts is worth every million dollar bill.
10/28
2020
@g4barry This is what happens when you try to turn Cathy from a comic strip character into a person and let them vote. @JoshRaby Like Harrison Ford, I’m getting Frantic.
10/27
2020
I was just informed that most tree trunks are grey and not brown and while I still don’t believe it, I am baffled t… https://t.co/LgtA3tbVCM
10/26
2020
Rosecrans Robards https://t.co/PXVTuDOYemSUMMONED, the short I co-wrote with @mesteffes is airing on Freeform and FX this week and also on Hulu under Bite S… https://t.co/daohCs2vUwThe only thing I'll miss from this administration is them swapping in new Melanias and just pretending we won't not… https://t.co/NUfPPLgAIR
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin
10/25
2020
@RussellHFilm I did this about a year ago, so I’m on team curb out of solidarity. @ryandoolittle https://t.co/96Bmadph7CTHE WITCHES is very much my jam.
10/24
2020
fucking Scarface would tell him to lay off the cocaine https://t.co/JS0TvVFIwQ
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin @trickelbank The “generic” was a nice touch. Like she doesn’t have shit on Hellmann’s .
10/23
2020
@trickelbank I tired to get through this twice but I could only get twenty seconds before getting too embarrassed for us to continue.Finally seeing him in the costume, I have to say that casting a young Nathan Drake was the smart play. Maybe it won… https://t.co/Ln5k0Z8Qs7
10/22
2020
So, wait... do... actors named Chris actually take the favorite Chris thing seriously? Have they hired campaign man… https://t.co/pHohcRQgfh @theofficialword I would wait hours in line to run up a hill to chill with some horses as nearby cars explode.Avengers cast Avengers cast when Brie Larson when people joke is harassed about Chris Pra… https://t.co/mrm7B4fFLe
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin @3k_ I will watch every episode of this show even if the trailers are terrible. @gabelopezsongs Tom Petty’s Wildflowers.
10/21
2020
Occam's Razor is trending. Surely there is a simple, straightforward explanation for this. https://t.co/0CYZK9vcEL
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin @MrCamW Weekend At Bernies with real dead dudes. @CoolDMZ Do I have to google everything to find out what you’re talking about? @jamestkeane Hide the trashcans!
10/20
2020
I remember my dad was excited that Joey Ramone wrote a song about Maria Bartiromo. It was embarrassing then and eve… https://t.co/Ogqef3cNEOWasn’t aware I needed a movie where Harrison Ford is an unhinged sea captain, but here we are... https://t.co/QHwh3jV1V8
10/19
2020
All the Cheers characters voted for Trump except for Diane and Frasier.
Retweeted by Joey AucoinWe’re getting a new Zemeckis next week and it’s mostly live action! @kirstiealley @realDonaldTrump Boooooooooooooo.
10/18
2020
@BrentPiaskoski Andy Dick attempting to molest my friend in the bathroom of Canter’s Deli. @MitchSolomonLA That’s what happens when the placenta falls to the floor. @MitchSolomonLA Wow, Sugarcult is extremely 90s!Even though these bands aren’t super well known, you’ll have to trust me that the concert I attended with Reel Big… https://t.co/CSHgHj7vDkCounting Crows with Ben Folds Five opening. https://t.co/ilJR4Utv3r @kenklippenstein Maybe you don’t understand Beto the way you thought you did. Like how you don’t get what a normal job is.So Jonah Hill is just gonna turn into Richard Dreyfus from ‘Jaws’ and we’re not supposed to talk about it? https://t.co/Hmd6LYyeVN
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10/17
2020
Only sociopaths think calling someone “Mister Rodgers” is a diss. https://t.co/BwjGhoxrUn
Retweeted by Joey AucoinWill NBC change their logo from a peacock to a clown or will that continue to be subtexual?
10/16
2020
@kylethepeck @NoahHarald What is a channel? @jamestkeane I do enjoy the phrasing of this, somehow obscuring the idea that we were never on the victorious side of that mercy rule.
10/15
2020
This doesn't say "I'm so smart I don't need notes." It says "I have no respect for you or this process and serve ot… https://t.co/wmTIrXheGw
Retweeted by Joey AucoinLike I’m supposed to resist a permed-out Glenn Close tossing out wisdom about Terminators. Get out of here.Things have gotten so crazy in our society that it almost feels like we are living in that Mike Judge movie, “Extract”
Retweeted by Joey AucoinMy youth pastor, Ainsely, and I have been going back and forth about this: If you were having a surgical procedure… https://t.co/Gx2kDR4weZ
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin @oye_esteban I visited a pumpkin patch, get off my back. @trickelbank Whoa whoa whoa. The Rams are real. Right?I wore jeans today even though it was still hot. I don’t really have a good excuse other than I missed my jeans?When the economy crashes, but you save the stock market. https://t.co/kWwJn2FE9r
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin @MgnKngsbry Protractor
10/14
2020
@trickelbank @DayanBallweg Like, he’s playing the role of guy who isn’t famous, so it’s awkward that he IS? @trickelbank I tried to listen to his book THE FORCE, but the reader read the whole thing like the 90s trailer voic… https://t.co/vTYbAbltQM @JimJarmuschHair And his insistence to only make pop culture references that pre-date 1977 really loses its charm when he looks like that.This woman kicks ass and gives me a little bit of hope that there are plenty more like her. https://t.co/rjBMNBqyoK @donmoyn If he doesn’t get his comeuppance, I will totally understand because everything sucks. But I will still be disappointed.
10/13
2020
"Against my best wishes I have been shot" is the single greatest phrase of all time. https://t.co/boLN5Ie4Am
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin @asoukuptx @maggieNYT Conservatives now think a “Karen” is just a contrarian. I hate this. @maggieNYT This tweet is unclear. Are you saying that people who are against wearing masks indoors (such as Mark Me… https://t.co/EGT636PKSlProbably way too much to ask, but Amy Klobuchar should drop a “Esther is still cold” reference in regards to repla… https://t.co/pAg1dQKRNq @kylethepeck @johngary Children of Men.
10/12
2020
This is so me. https://t.co/GioaemXZjb @everythingloria @nbcsnl Jeff Goldblum would be super fun.
10/11
2020
yo Pixar maybe chill with the dying movies we're all dying do a bug one again or some shit
Retweeted by Joey AucoinThat was an earthquake, right?
10/9
2020
Mike Pence’s wife (mother): That’s what you get for being so close to another woman.Wow, since the debate last night Mike Pence has really gone viral. https://t.co/6FLgEOCqDj
Retweeted by Joey AucoinHow 2020 would it be if joined the cast as the Incredible Hulk? https://t.co/g9kQJxiybYMike Pence doesn’t believe systemic racism is a problem or even exists.I wrote this “scary” 2 minute short with my wife Michelle and we’re really happy with it. Please give it a watch.… https://t.co/wOpaq0eC2d @FANGORIA FREAKY FRIDAY THE 13THTrump screamed and hid, sure that Herman Cain’s ghost was haunting him. https://t.co/tlxAB0qCZi
Retweeted by Joey AucoinMike Pence has never worn pajamas that wasn’t a matching set.This dude from high school has been very mad online because I said anyone voting for Trump was as reliable as a dru… https://t.co/0HMtR6S4gs
10/8
2020
"I do understand French, but I refuse to speak it. It's the last thing that I would ever do." https://t.co/jCMyiDlILF
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin
10/7
2020
In case you haven’t read Courtney Cox’s Asshole,” a fantastic piece of fiction by Jill Soloway, please do. https://t.co/B5ieNEfUqnPeople not letting Covid dominate their life is the primary reason we still have Covid
Retweeted by Joey AucoinDo you guys remember that period of time when people wanted bleached assholes? https://t.co/1Vdx2rv6c2no one: claudia conway: so this what the inside of Area 51 looks like
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin
10/6
2020
I’m still trying to understand how someone named “Kayleigh” is old enough to work at the White House.
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin
10/5
2020
Only one more day until Facebook users find out the President is in the hospital.After speaking to the press, Dr. Conley will have to hustle back to set to film his fourth Hallmark Christmas movie… https://t.co/iDnOrxttGcThe complete takeover of the #ProudBoys hashtag is the greatest thing on Twitter right now. https://t.co/SqxiaFTZku
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin
10/4
2020
@ScottWamplerBMD He had to get COVID so he could get access into the hospital to drop off the McDonalds. Dedication. 🇺🇸5-year-old: Can you stop looking at your phone? Me: No. I can’t. I seriously can’t.I will Venmo $100 dollars to the first Walter Reed staffer that dresses up like Herman Cain and warns him that he’s… https://t.co/1UHeVRYx9x
Retweeted by Joey AucoinI don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty sure my high school concert choir teacher is now writing tweets for the Presid… https://t.co/ice0cm1r9pIt’s amazing how many 90s movies featured The McLaughlin Group.
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin
10/3
2020
@SpenceNicholson I guess I’d just say following sports, you have a feeling I’m the back of your mind that the stake… https://t.co/QjqhBgKLgR @SpenceNicholson Sure, but this matters? @MelFreelance They’re waiting for the Kidz Bop version to drop.My family hasn’t heard that Vin Diesel song and probably think I’m singing “I don’t know” in a weird voice because… https://t.co/47LJj8soIp @MattWalshBlog So, your argument is that they aren’t interesting in private and not that terrible.a democrat in office right now https://t.co/bz1amwMJP4
Retweeted by Joey Aucoin
10/2
2020

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