Sign in with Twitter


Trainee hermit, & keen Amateur Squirrel Trainer

242 Following   5,767,955 Followers   8,835 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/3/07

That's a bigger problem ?! I think you may be overestimating my importance don't agree at all The US plays a much, much bigger role in world affairs than we do, and there's a sociopath in… @JohnCleese Yes!! It was the first time I've felt genuine hope in 4 years!
Retweeted by John CleeseDear Simon Thexton In case you hadn't noticed, the USA is rather more important than the UK in world affairs, and… think the Republicans should make it clear that when President Trump says that the Flu Epidemic of 1917 (sic) was… Norwegian Blue parrot Swallowed a carrot Emitted a squawk, And could no longer talkYesterday I asked a wasp What, in fact, he does, He said " I spoil people's meals, and I can also buzz "Looking at the front pages of our newspapers this morning on the BBC website, I read that only the Guardian and the… more evidence why Paul Dacre should be in jail But he won't be charged as he has powerful friends ...Well, no…
Some people are simply impossible to please. #fawltytowers #roomwithaview is explained... @JohnCleese A dead unjugged rabbit fish.
Retweeted by John Cleese
Meetings, Bloody Meetings! is a good name Whoever heard of a 'Dear Jak' letter ? sort of fish ?'s make it two-way ! Unless you prefer victimhood, that is... have a go back ! You are no longer oppressed Then we can have some fun... Dad changed it when he went to fight in France in 1915 are ver luck Mr Slightly Cranky, When you have a name is silly as mine, attack is the best defence without the sophisticated cuisine they get that I send myself up a lot, too But my fans are the best. Much better than Sir Mickey's fans, who… would you call her if it turned out that you liked her ? Theresa May wasn't born in May, either No matter... Contact my website and you shall receive... half-truth, sir Then there's Greek and the Romance languages, and a smattering of Arabic and Hindi This is why… tease the Irish because they have a wonderful sense of humour I am more careful with the West Coast Scots
Since Trump supporters will believe anything he tells them, is he not taking a risk when he calls Joe Biden 'a raci… to be creative. I will be teaching a Masterclass on Creativity with @howtoacademy on the 13th of September.…
The first 9 months of 2020. How's yours going? night I dreamed I went to heaven... An advert that ran in the 90s for one of the first cell phones. #johncleese
When I travel abroad I like to meet with the locals and experience new cultures. Quite literally a flash back Frida…
@alitamighela @howtoacademy You'll receive the book as part of the ticket price for participating! Postage included I believe.I am pleased to announce I will be joining @howtoacademy for a masterclass in exercising your imagination and tappi… used to make hillocks out of the skulls of his enemies Don't tell the Republicans... do you always having to look for something negative ? you Not kind to make fun of people who can't walk normally Sorry... Khan was a Welsh darts player who was killed during the Blitz Always pleased to help young Americans of the surviving Pythons tells me I should apologise for playing Genghis Khan My great-great grandmother was… it because they are always dishing out criticism, which gives them a feeling of unearned superiority, and which… must vary But it's odd that British critics ensure that there is a bare minimum of available information abou… you It was an odd experience But I believe that most of my arguments stand up, even if they are simplificat…, I do that. I'm surprised you didn't guess... 150 years ago somebody told me there were three necessary critical questions 1. What was the artist trying… if you promise to spell your name properly Or are you Irish ? only you were your own best critic... You'd be unstoppable will find that most people don't enjoy criticism, regardless of their job But if it's in a friendly and suppor…
Praise is one of the hardest things to get out of people. From How to Irritate People. Watch the full sketch here:…'re right But where the owners love the profession of journalism, a streak of professional pride survives But… you Mohsen Mofidi Do I detect a hint of bitterness in your tweet ? Or do I just bring it out in you watch this ! Trump is perfect as the pet shop owner
The press criticise everyone else, but regard it as an affront if they receive the same treatment And if anyone r… forward if I see you too close to one another I shall lay down in-between. Social distance! @Torbay_Council HACKING: Murdoch Newspapers Hacked the Premier League on an Industrial Scale for a Decade – at the Same Ti…
Retweeted by John CleeseI welcome criticism if it's intended to be helpful I ask :where were you bored ; when was something not clear ; wh… critic Quentin Letts tried his hand at creative writing, the Times critic described his effort as 'dreadful'…, a 'good' critic can write, but they write criticism And very few people would consider that creative So thei… ideal critic would, yes But the British press is more interested in maintaining its power than in informng its… surprising, then, that they try so hard to hide their credentials The Telegraph book critic disliked 'So, Anyw… agree with Oscar If critics could write or direct or act, presumably they would be doing that, and earning more…'s a hilariously vile review of my little streamed talk last night in the Telegraph Its critic really hated i…
One of my lesser known, but most impressive talents is that I am a highly respected fine art critic. #DoctorWho believe this translates as 'I like you better when you are not there in person' But Chico...... I WAS there in… @JohnCleese
Retweeted by John Cleese @JohnCleese I like you better not in person. 😉
Retweeted by John Cleese
Testing... testing...🎙 My live stream begins in mere moments! Get tickets and tune in here: is complaining the nobody likes him Not true Vladimir Putin does Especially now he's pulled all those troops out of GermanyI must apologise to the PC community for fat shaming the NaziWhy are they always so very fat ?In my town, across from the park that honors our local AFB, literally 10 minutes ago.
Retweeted by John Cleese
The tour will resume once it's safe to do so. Many of the dates have been rescheduled to next year. So we'll see ho… day away! Get tickets for my new special Why There Is No Hope. For the first time ever ill be streaming the perfo…! We are getting all set up and I'm making the final edits. I will see you tomorrow as I go live performing… 2 days join me for my first ever live stream event! Why There Is No Hope, my new 1 man show featuring all new ma…
@JohnCleese @sketching I've got some fanart, too, though mine is a little less traditional!
Retweeted by John CleeseI feel @sketching.monkey on Instagram really captured the distress in Basil's eyes. Thank you! #fawltyfanart
Retweeted by John CleeseHugh is a hero to people like me dearly love NPR but couldn't work out why they gave me an interviewer who knew so little about psychology One of… live in hotel rooms, but I visit the UK some of the time I'll reside in the UK once again when Leveson 2 is impl… think you're being too optimistic Glover refers to Murdoch's critics as Murdoch-haters Just because Murdoch irreparably damaged the culture…, I agree, except that I would say 'back-water' instead of 'country' and gentlemen we are just 3 days away from learning Whu There Is No Hope! Go live with me here:…
Working with the frog 🐸 and the absolutely brilliant Jim Henson. #tbt #themuppets As if we needed it... @SomersetCCC Lewis and Jack need to be allowed back to do their jobs rather than being held prisoner by ECB.
Retweeted by John CleeseStill reeling from #TheRiseoftheMurdochDynasty? Did you know the scale of his UK media empire? Our latest damning r…
Retweeted by John CleeseIn just 4 days join me for my first live streamed special ever! You can get your tickets and watch from anywhere in…
2020 it ! quite a bit of travel you pull off the road to the first quaint little hotel you can find. Weary, your eyes h… Phone Hacker Emailed Mail on Sunday Executive Chris Anderson with Updates During Complex Eavesdropping O…
Retweeted by John CleeseEXCLUSIVE: Private Investigator Glenn Mulcaire Reveals How he Hacked Ex-Lib Dem MP Simon Hughes for the Mail on Sun…
Retweeted by John CleesePink Panther 2! What's vital is that they love their medium, and are not envious of people in it who do have talent His qualifications ? Stints on two gossip columns, followed by a spell as a Parliamentary sketchwriter Then… says says the present system is good ? The critics probably... But try talking to some creative people. They… had dinner with David recently, and what he still says is this In order to know how good you are at something re… points 1. I had dinner with David Dunning two weeks ago and he thinks my point is valid. 2. I'm not 'mad' at… like Paul Dacre become so intoxicated with their power to frighten others that they come to believe they can… like your thinking I think there used to be ten per cent, but that was back in the days when papers could afford…