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Trainee hermit, & keen Amateur Squirrel Trainer

242 Following   5,767,955 Followers   8,835 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/3/07


That's a bigger problem ?! I think you may be overestimating my importance https://t.co/MSwAQ8Zo3kI don't agree at all The US plays a much, much bigger role in world affairs than we do, and there's a sociopath in… https://t.co/jpn1kaIUWR @JohnCleese Yes!! It was the first time I've felt genuine hope in 4 years!
Retweeted by John CleeseDear Simon Thexton In case you hadn't noticed, the USA is rather more important than the UK in world affairs, and… https://t.co/l00KKqvPvwI think the Republicans should make it clear that when President Trump says that the Flu Epidemic of 1917 (sic) was… https://t.co/07AZgL1DmZA Norwegian Blue parrot Swallowed a carrot Emitted a squawk, And could no longer talkYesterday I asked a wasp What, in fact, he does, He said " I spoil people's meals, and I can also buzz "Looking at the front pages of our newspapers this morning on the BBC website, I read that only the Guardian and the… https://t.co/7CpKoXI0ECYet more evidence why Paul Dacre should be in jail But he won't be charged as he has powerful friends ...Well, no… https://t.co/qusHG6gBFR
8/12
2020
Some people are simply impossible to please. #fawltytowers #roomwithaview https://t.co/WKLEKmWbBmAll is explained... https://t.co/iZwa87HVa9 @JohnCleese A dead unjugged rabbit fish.
Retweeted by John Cleese
8/11
2020
Meetings, Bloody Meetings! https://t.co/KZ9WlmkO6KJak is a good name Whoever heard of a 'Dear Jak' letter ? https://t.co/xWjNTSNheaWhat sort of fish ? https://t.co/urBEjAO4NbLet's make it two-way ! Unless you prefer victimhood, that is... https://t.co/dfRC2RX1ZUSo have a go back ! You are no longer oppressed Then we can have some fun... https://t.co/ehXVf2dosURight Dad changed it when he went to fight in France in 1915 https://t.co/dSrHwbgmioOu are ver luck https://t.co/sjoYyxT4DVDear Mr Slightly Cranky, When you have a name is silly as mine, attack is the best defence https://t.co/m1ItPwn2ZNBut without the sophisticated cuisine https://t.co/fqhED5n0JdMaybe they get that I send myself up a lot, too But my fans are the best. Much better than Sir Mickey's fans, who… https://t.co/SSn7R0te26What would you call her if it turned out that you liked her ? https://t.co/74Y7X2Y89aAnd Theresa May wasn't born in May, either No matter... Contact my website and you shall receive... https://t.co/LPLGo19mKLA half-truth, sir Then there's Greek and the Romance languages, and a smattering of Arabic and Hindi This is why… https://t.co/QLZOQ57987I tease the Irish because they have a wonderful sense of humour I am more careful with the West Coast Scots https://t.co/sgI0nAjtL8
8/10
2020
Since Trump supporters will believe anything he tells them, is he not taking a risk when he calls Joe Biden 'a raci… https://t.co/tknhXEQGfJHow to be creative. I will be teaching a Masterclass on Creativity with @howtoacademy on the 13th of September.… https://t.co/n5useuuqJy
8/9
2020
The first 9 months of 2020. How's yours going? https://t.co/mya2tJWeS4Last night I dreamed I went to heaven... An advert that ran in the 90s for one of the first cell phones. #johncleese https://t.co/3hSiAY0k4f
8/8
2020
When I travel abroad I like to meet with the locals and experience new cultures. Quite literally a flash back Frida… https://t.co/MN1ysmVvuE
8/7
2020
@alitamighela @howtoacademy You'll receive the book as part of the ticket price for participating! Postage included I believe.I am pleased to announce I will be joining @howtoacademy for a masterclass in exercising your imagination and tappi… https://t.co/95U6woD9GZHe used to make hillocks out of the skulls of his enemies Don't tell the Republicans... https://t.co/i8xjgM2XBNWhy do you always having to look for something negative ? https://t.co/w6Axmop7wlThank you Not kind to make fun of people who can't walk normally Sorry... https://t.co/OKWJ2Vnc4RGenghis Khan was a Welsh darts player who was killed during the Blitz Always pleased to help young Americans https://t.co/wTF83xDuWwOne of the surviving Pythons tells me I should apologise for playing Genghis Khan My great-great grandmother was… https://t.co/jSmjqTsDC5Is it because they are always dishing out criticism, which gives them a feeling of unearned superiority, and which… https://t.co/bz9nr6PBE0They must vary But it's odd that British critics ensure that there is a bare minimum of available information abou… https://t.co/l1vLfR40HrThank you It was an odd experience But I believe that most of my arguments stand up, even if they are simplificat… https://t.co/jOqnzCd72BYes, I do that. I'm surprised you didn't guess... https://t.co/E6xKxoZ00mAgreed 150 years ago somebody told me there were three necessary critical questions 1. What was the artist trying… https://t.co/IBgOaeFAwmOnly if you promise to spell your name properly Or are you Irish ? https://t.co/3MBkib7Cg9If only you were your own best critic... You'd be unstoppable https://t.co/iBn9kZLlkqYou will find that most people don't enjoy criticism, regardless of their job But if it's in a friendly and suppor… https://t.co/ONmjVrY7OO
8/6
2020
Praise is one of the hardest things to get out of people. From How to Irritate People. Watch the full sketch here:… https://t.co/5EZhYwDV2rYou're right But where the owners love the profession of journalism, a streak of professional pride survives But… https://t.co/qsScaJ2czrThank you Mohsen Mofidi Do I detect a hint of bitterness in your tweet ? Or do I just bring it out in you https://t.co/ZdATYiuwl9Do watch this ! Trump is perfect as the pet shop owner https://t.co/1Ww8fRhpod
8/5
2020
The press criticise everyone else, but regard it as an affront if they receive the same treatment And if anyone r… https://t.co/gy8jvo2UGrGoing forward if I see you too close to one another I shall lay down in-between. Social distance! @Torbay_Council https://t.co/rzU8mNhFdrFOOTBALL HACKING: Murdoch Newspapers Hacked the Premier League on an Industrial Scale for a Decade – at the Same Ti… https://t.co/wmGXQOu2H3
Retweeted by John CleeseI welcome criticism if it's intended to be helpful I ask :where were you bored ; when was something not clear ; wh… https://t.co/BbvVQN3zfl...the critic Quentin Letts tried his hand at creative writing, the Times critic described his effort as 'dreadful'… https://t.co/6hYO53zAbyYes, a 'good' critic can write, but they write criticism And very few people would consider that creative So thei… https://t.co/w1gLRmirBdThe ideal critic would, yes But the British press is more interested in maintaining its power than in informng its… https://t.co/aJMI83LxoCNot surprising, then, that they try so hard to hide their credentials The Telegraph book critic disliked 'So, Anyw… https://t.co/ycPyIXdWcqI agree with Oscar If critics could write or direct or act, presumably they would be doing that, and earning more… https://t.co/q748cCI4T5There's a hilariously vile review of my little streamed talk last night in the Telegraph Its critic really hated i… https://t.co/VmOiorxc7V
8/4
2020
One of my lesser known, but most impressive talents is that I am a highly respected fine art critic. #DoctorWho https://t.co/RgbbK5HCJwI believe this translates as 'I like you better when you are not there in person' But Chico...... I WAS there in… https://t.co/DwxUI6kro2 @JohnCleese https://t.co/fioE85wosD
Retweeted by John Cleese @JohnCleese I like you better not in person. 😉
Retweeted by John Cleese
8/3
2020
Testing... testing...🎙 My live stream begins in mere moments! Get tickets and tune in here: https://t.co/CX0GelZ1hY https://t.co/GlH2A5lIWhTrump is complaining the nobody likes him Not true Vladimir Putin does Especially now he's pulled all those troops out of GermanyI must apologise to the PC community for fat shaming the NaziWhy are they always so very fat ?In my town, across from the park that honors our local AFB, literally 10 minutes ago. https://t.co/2oAcR4HaL3
Retweeted by John Cleese
8/2
2020
The tour will resume once it's safe to do so. Many of the dates have been rescheduled to next year. So we'll see ho… https://t.co/HuYAzNp2bq1 day away! Get tickets for my new special Why There Is No Hope. For the first time ever ill be streaming the perfo… https://t.co/Jrll1y36NBTomorrow! We are getting all set up and I'm making the final edits. I will see you tomorrow as I go live performing… https://t.co/Ev5Pg1DnYzIn 2 days join me for my first ever live stream event! Why There Is No Hope, my new 1 man show featuring all new ma… https://t.co/pwynunUVGP
8/1
2020
@JohnCleese @sketching https://t.co/sEPT51D3Js I've got some fanart, too, though mine is a little less traditional!
Retweeted by John CleeseI feel @sketching.monkey on Instagram really captured the distress in Basil's eyes. Thank you! #fawltyfanarthttps://t.co/w4FI0u0mOHhttps://t.co/4gN1wbtsRi
Retweeted by John CleeseHugh is a hero to people like me https://t.co/RlEPJbo2IyI dearly love NPR but couldn't work out why they gave me an interviewer who knew so little about psychology One of… https://t.co/uZiwzvtkrXI live in hotel rooms, but I visit the UK some of the time I'll reside in the UK once again when Leveson 2 is impl… https://t.co/aOIzoRioWOI think you're being too optimistic https://t.co/pzo7ODnEJ1Stephen Glover refers to Murdoch's critics as Murdoch-haters Just because Murdoch irreparably damaged the culture… https://t.co/mjapinGmoyAlastair, I agree, except that I would say 'back-water' instead of 'country' https://t.co/XKKIa7cvgcLadies and gentlemen we are just 3 days away from learning Whu There Is No Hope! Go live with me here:… https://t.co/aqWlRVgIo4
7/31
2020
Working with the frog 🐸 and the absolutely brilliant Jim Henson. #tbt #themuppets https://t.co/JC1R4jJrYWProof As if we needed it... https://t.co/9I3GVM2vjf @SomersetCCC Lewis and Jack need to be allowed back to do their jobs rather than being held prisoner by ECB.
Retweeted by John CleeseStill reeling from #TheRiseoftheMurdochDynasty? Did you know the scale of his UK media empire? Our latest damning r… https://t.co/pP1Zeb1IX6
Retweeted by John CleeseIn just 4 days join me for my first live streamed special ever! You can get your tickets and watch from anywhere in… https://t.co/zoQRgYwcv9
7/30
2020
So...watch it ! https://t.co/vrGhrzPXcSAfter quite a bit of travel you pull off the road to the first quaint little hotel you can find. Weary, your eyes h… https://t.co/xV6O5qTFLqEXCLUSIVE: Phone Hacker Emailed Mail on Sunday Executive Chris Anderson with Updates During Complex Eavesdropping O… https://t.co/hlzF8vOK66
Retweeted by John CleeseEXCLUSIVE: Private Investigator Glenn Mulcaire Reveals How he Hacked Ex-Lib Dem MP Simon Hughes for the Mail on Sun… https://t.co/eiGEtzvSsm
Retweeted by John CleesePink Panther 2! https://t.co/3v7cAv7Z6OTrue What's vital is that they love their medium, and are not envious of people in it who do have talent https://t.co/IAiMEyh5l4... His qualifications ? Stints on two gossip columns, followed by a spell as a Parliamentary sketchwriter Then… https://t.co/MNwlfoPqZqWho says says the present system is good ? The critics probably... But try talking to some creative people. They… https://t.co/I5oQmZgGF8I had dinner with David recently, and what he still says is this In order to know how good you are at something re… https://t.co/JolSu9N4L8Four points 1. I had dinner with David Dunning two weeks ago and he thinks my point is valid. 2. I'm not 'mad' at… https://t.co/VpJgqsi4aCPeople like Paul Dacre become so intoxicated with their power to frighten others that they come to believe they can… https://t.co/xcDlqQFQctI like your thinking I think there used to be ten per cent, but that was back in the days when papers could afford… https://t.co/kBFu8redzl
7/29
2020

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