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Jonathan Pie is a news reporter… WEBSITE: Enquiries to

2,031 Following   280,953 Followers   15,437 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/13/15

@JonathanPieNews If you're on the fence about going, take it from someone who's been to the theatre to have Pie all…
Retweeted by Jonathan PieAbsolutely horrifying. To make this even more sinister, the army has described media reports as "fake news". Now, w… speech demonstrates that it‘s entirely possible to be completely anti-racist, whilst also seeing Critical Race… on Twitter is nowhere near as pleasurable as shouting obscenities at you all in a theatre. The terrible aco…
Not at all. I dont think there's anything childish about pointing out the fact that, whatever your opinion or polit… great organistaion helping the homeless. #ToLondonWithLove Christmas Homeless Drive. Help raise £1000 to…
Retweeted by Jonathan PieAnother great organistaion helping the homeless. #ToLondonWithLove Christmas Homeless Drive. Help raise £1000 to… was a Steve Bell cartoon back when Heseltine was closing the pits in the early 90s. It was him and the cabine…
Retweeted by Jonathan Pie“Slipped” implies that it was an accident.
Retweeted by Jonathan PieWith all this Covid "which teir means what?" confusion, I have one simple question: How do I (legally) watch The West Wing reunion?Very strong performance from @AndyBurnhamGM I hope Boris is armed with a cheeky grin, shit hair and an amusing us… really don’t give a shit do they?
Ann Widdecombe says that ’families don’t want to see same-sex couples’ on Strictly Come Dancing. But honestly, did… zero wrong with what Elunded posted here. Although personally I've always more had the hots for Albert Sp…
Retweeted by Jonathan PieWait, it’s a ’fire break’ now? What next? A ‘virus blocker’? A ‘spread preventer’? A ‘definitely not a lockdown but…
Whereas you make Nixon look like a decent, law-abiding and likeable President. Hebdo satirises politics and all religions. After recent events, the fact that so many people seem to be mo… years ago I was doing trollies at Sainsburys on a Monday night. I left, worked hard and got a degree from the Uni…
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Ian Lavery, an ex miner and straight talker here in 2017 - this is how you get a politician like Boris Johnson on t…
Retweeted by Jonathan PieI know in the great scheme of things she looks after the equivalent a large town, but great to see competent and co…
Orange man ANGRY! occasional reminder that an “Australia-style deal” is also a “Sierra Leone-style deal”, a “Guam-style deal” or…
Retweeted by Jonathan PieWhenever Boris puts on his ‘Hey kids! Everything’s cool!’ children’s TV host persona, you know that he knows we’re…’s not about what we want for ourselves, @DominicRaab. It’s about what we want for low-paid and self-employed peo…
Retweeted by Jonathan PieOven. Ready. Brexit.
Me and @mrjamesob have our disagreements on occasion. But this is seriously excellent viewing:"This lad will eat anything; Lego, birds, hair... You name it"
Retweeted by Jonathan PiePossibly the best one yet. this. Hats off to @JonathanPieNews for this. 👇
Retweeted by Jonathan PieWhereas voting for you lot has gone swimmingly so far... Second Wave: We’re all fucked. Full video here:
Retweeted by Jonathan PieThe great @JonathanPieNews epically blows another gasket.
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Fucking hell, Fatima didn’t waste any time. is just superb. Mines a pint!'m Anti-Tory, Anti-Trump, Anti-injustice. With an occasional pop at my own (left) side. Just coz I'm also pro fr… Second Wave: We’re all fucked. Full video here: Prime Monster essentially just said that once furlough is over people have Universal Credit to fall back on. What a cunt.“Sure, I could live on £5.84 an hour... I mean, a loaf of bread is what? Ten pence these days? Piece of piss.” the announcement of the governments new plan, they also announced that the plan wouldn’t work. We’re throug…
Retweeted by Jonathan PieAustralia’s Great Barrier Reef 'has lost half its corals since 1995’
Retweeted by Jonathan PieDuring the announcement of the governments new plan, they also announced that the plan wouldn’t work. We’re throug… saw Fatima selling meth in Lidl car park.Due to Covid uncertainty we have made the decision to reschedule the tour once again to next year. We have managed…
Retweeted by Jonathan Pie1) We locked down too late in March. 2) We lifted lockdown too fast in the summer. 3) We're delaying lockdown too l…
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Exactly. This Government has SO much to answer for. But to announce new measures and admit that they won't work at…
Retweeted by Jonathan PieThe government is officially no longer being guided by the science.
Retweeted by Jonathan PieNail. Head.
Retweeted by Jonathan PieMe too, Kath. Me too. government is officially no longer being guided by the science. Second Wave
Retweeted by Jonathan PieThis sums it up. This sums it all up. I recomend a watch of this. Was cathartic for me anyway. "The plane is go…
Retweeted by Jonathan PieThe Second Wave it started: How it’s going:
To be fair, Fatima is pretty shit at dancing.
Retweeted by Jonathan Pie“One small jab for man... one giant wallop for mankind...”
London isn’t a country, and Sadiq Khan isn’t the PM. Hope this clears things up for you Shaun. is certain right now except for this: I cannot WAIT to get back on a stage and swear my tits off. Mask perm…
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...and what about the self-employed... are they still getting shafted up the arse this winter?
Nothing is certain right now except for this: I cannot WAIT to get back on a stage and swear my tits off. Mask perm…
“We’ve argued and blamed everyone but at the end of the day we’re all in this together and I can’t stop swearing to…
Retweeted by Jonathan PieKeir Starmer: “Prime Minister, if you actually listened to the question, we might get on better.” #PMQs MPs:
What a coincidence, I’ve thought for years now that the majority of politicians should retrain as circus performers.
“Hey guys, go out there and get Covid! You’ll never feel better!” Jesus. Fucking. Christ.“GO TO THE FUCKING CINEMA YOU LAZY NETFLIX SHITS.”’m sorry but what the fuck even *is* Dido Harding and how does she have a job? (Rhetorical question of course, we… public health consequences of this raise so many questions How many contacts of these *missing* 16,000 have be…
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Dear Katie, Thanks for the advice, I will gladly slam the door in your face. Kind Regards Jonathan Pie
Nobody punches the fucking Keymaster and gets away with it. lose all sense of taste with Covid so how long has he had it
Retweeted by Jonathan PieIs it just me, or does it look like Boris is standing next to a really shit wax model of himself in this photograph… Trump mocks Hillary Clinton over her pneumonia outbreak
Retweeted by Jonathan PieHydroxychloroquine and Flash Lemon Zest floor cleaner at the ready Mr President. If you could just roll up your sle…
MPs unable to follow the rules implemented on the rest of us has become a pandemic in itself. can confirm that my father Stanley Johnson has now been fined for not wearing a mask. I phoned him personally and…
Retweeted by Jonathan Pie“Eat out to help out!” ”YOU’RE TOO FAT, LOSE SOME WEIGHT.” ”Go back to work, let’s get the ecomony moving again!” ”… shutting the fuck up man
Accurate. it really that difficult to condemn white supremacists? Because I have to be honest here, I’d find it a piece of piss.I want this. I want someone to shake my hand the way Trump Shakes Melania’s ❤️
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What's going on?“I misspoke today” is an odd way of saying: “I do not have a fucking clue”.
“Yeah, I know. And I'm thinking about it in my block, that you may knock off.”
Retweeted by Jonathan PieI think @Channel4News might have just sunk his presidency. Who's have thunk it.🤣 @fredperry. May I introduce your new marketing director
Retweeted by Jonathan PieFuck me. All these U-turns. I haven’t felt this dizzy since I mistook a bottle of car screenwash for Créme de menth… Perry could have easily solved this issue by getting RuPaul to model for it in full drag during their next ad… BBC isn’t perfect but it’s one of the most successful British inventions ever, enhancing our profile round the…
Retweeted by Jonathan Pie#kayburley At what point would you report your neighbour for not following the rules? Helen Whately “If they had…
Retweeted by Jonathan Pie @MoveOnNotice How dare you!FAKE BILLIONAIRE!
You need to remove the ‘NHS’ bit from your app title. It goes against the Trade Descriptions Act.! we hear govt’s “NHS” Covid app only wants to know about Serco/private testing If you had a test in an NHS or…
Retweeted by Jonathan PieAn alternative headline would be 6,999,800 of the shows 7 million viewers did not complain
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People are panic-buying in case other people start panic-buying. This fucking country.