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Writer/Producer, Desus & Mero. Make My Day podcast. Tells jokes out loud. Previously, Last Week Tonight. Year round iced coffee drinker. Nice Try available now!

3,288 Following   165,047 Followers   191,782 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/30/09

@ham12ham Fuuuuuck. @SirTweetzalot1 I’ll be asleep by then I hope!Is it late enough that I can earnestly say that the Hold Steady lyric “Heaven is whenever/We can get together” hits… @erinmallorylong Ahhh thank you! I’m so glad you liked it! I always have fun and it makes me so happy that other people do too! @MrEmilyHeller AHHHH!!! @hopeorfear I'm doing it again tomorrow! @megmarymorris The best! @dannyhatch It ruled! "Heaven is whenever/We can get together" really hits during a pandemic. @MusiComedyTweet @travishelwig @theholdsteady Hey thanks! That's very swell of you to say! @MusiComedyTweet Yes! @BlytheSpirit93 Sorry, guy. @taylortrudon He is so good at putting people in positions to succeed!!!!! @taylortrudon It's so good!!! @HarveyLarvae @steadycraig Me too! I love it! @jmarsh4037 True! @GaryGulman You're welcome! Just being real! @samirmathur Hell yeah. @erinraymiller It’s tomorrow too! @travishelwig It’s a pretty good feeling, yeah it feels pretty good! @JuiceSimpsons I am, even if the sun set hours ago! @KHakans Hahaha! @Rollan_schitt I stayed here on business. @kurtbraunohler Hell yeah!! @travishelwig Tonight and tomorrow! @ham12ham Hell yeah.A quietly Massive Night at home with The Hold Steady. is one of the absolute best comedians and I love this album (which I think I saw him record live)! @PeterSteinberg1 I am not! @AlissaNutting Thank you! Finally someone’s phone gets it! @oldladykay1 The brand is just DUNKIN' now!!!! @bkj1964 I don't THINK it was me! Hahah. @TheWilderThings Wine Yeti, the most mysterious of all cryptids!Thanks so much to have everyone who watched/shared/bought on Bandcamp! I am filled with cheer!!!!!
Retweeted by Josh Gondelman
@caitiedelaney It's so good!! @mike_morris22 Hahaha! @anindividuation I know that's why I said it. @emanuela_grama Hahahah! @hel_blar I am from Massachusetts, but I live in NY now if that explains it! @blocktimusprime @danielleweisber The bathrobe was pretty cheap, and I didn't already have a bathrobe, so it was worth it for this bit! @itsmearabrady No! I'm considering it though! @blocktimusprime I've ALWAYS said that. @danielleweisber Sadly, I would accept that. @ziwe Hahahahahahaha. I'm sorry! @EnzoLies It's the first word of the tweet you quoted. @EnzoLies It was literally the only thing I said. @scharpling @JesseDavidFox Shoot! I was trying to save it for later! @EnzoLies That's what I said! @bkj1964 Wait what? @paulandstorm @ninaleejohnson @OffBookPod It's a very fun time!! @JesseDavidFox Thank you! @JesseDavidFox I haven’t yet but I like it! I’m going to watch their livestream tonight too! :) @VladimirGluten They’re really comfortable!Getting to hear @OffBookPod on @joshgondelman's #makemyday podcast is my favorite cross-over episode ever. Not only…
Retweeted by Josh Gondelman @ninaleejohnson @OffBookPod Awww thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!What a fun show last night! If you missed the virtual show, you can catch the @MakeMyDayPod episode soon!
Retweeted by Josh Gondelman @mjpmcgovern No one says that! @charliepick Hahahah he’s not the most powerful but he’s the angriest!Catching up on some episodes of @MakeMyDayPod that I've missed and as someone whose dogs are also occasionally unfr…
Retweeted by Josh Gondelmannew flavors alert! check out my personal “desus pieces” and Mero’s “marshmallow merengue” now available at…
Retweeted by Josh Gondelman @GennHutchison I haven’t been back to New England all year and I miss it a lot! @larryowenslive @gaybonez Hahahah! @gaybonez Hell yeah. @magdajtaylor @tired_bimbo !!! @MaraWilson Hahahah! @secondhusk Thank you! @mdcoon127 Before I wear a bathrobe again? @sammynickalls Or just frame the shot so you wouldn't see the previous texts. @BoyInert It will be a podcast episode soon! @kuzbarah I think it’s mostly funny!Thanks to everyone who came to last night’s show too! I had so much fun! @anylaurie16 Laurie thank you this means everything! @anylaurie16 I suck shit in real predictable ways!!! @JorCru @ADuralde Mary Holland is so funny!!!! @emtgirl09 I always feel very flattered to have a "the usual" assuming it's not because I'm so obnoxious that I'm easy to remember. @DaveCroatto Hahah! @scubaxsteve @dunkindonuts yes!It’s Queens of Infamy Day! Lucrezia Borgia’s story has everything you could ever ask for - violence, mayhem, royalt…
Retweeted by Josh Gondelman @scubaxsteve @dunkindonuts The pants were the wrong size but it worked out okay! @ArielleGoldman Just the shoes. Saucony hooked me up! @AlexisBergasse @charlidamelio Weirdly, yes. @ItsJackieBtch You're WELCOME. @pleming alive!!!Just your regular reminder that my book, Crystal Clear, is coming out Dec 29 and is available for pre-order! It's a…
Retweeted by Josh Gondelman @DewaynePerkins It feels so good!!! @TheSpoony @hodgman COME ON! @MillerBombz Okay that I paid for! (And the sweatpants, which were unnecessary.) @hodgman I am not going to do that!!! @MillerBombz They were given to me!!! @jlinstantkarma True! And Paul Newman. @MattGoldich Separate the art from the artist, I say. @MillerBombz The robe was $35, and I needed a robe!! @dankmccoy @mattkoff One of me is more than enough for most people, but if Matt wants to trade, I'm in!!! @BBromfieldMusic Still alive!Let's do this, Dicktownies!!!! (Do you call fans of the show that, @hodgman?) @cyclonesara I love them!I'll take my good news where I can get it lately. Today, it's that fewer people from Adam Sandler's original "Hanuk… title alone I’d have to assume MANK is a documentary about Scottish swears, like when someone gets called “you absolute lamp” or whatever
Retweeted by Josh Gondelman @Eisentweet Ha! @heather_muse Oh noooo! @MelissaStetten Thank you. (Regardless of your inflection!)