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225 Following   244 Followers   1,106 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/23/15


i actually think 15 year olds on tik tok are right about foreign policyis there something you’ve always wanted to know about the intricacies of making and/or selling beer? reply or DM m… https://t.co/7CZ610KLqG @csolomon93 what does this mean. i’m serious
12/11
2019
it’s time for some Jets football @doin_work_2 11:37 a.m.
12/8
2019
@ildicks https://t.co/jgmV1ADFpUhttps://t.co/lTEF2dZ7iI @j_holzer8 @TheCoolJew @dohyoungpark the cool jew
12/6
2019
@Coach_Sage18 anti-capitalisti know i make fun of lots of people on here so i figure it’s time for a joke about me: i look like i refuse to list… https://t.co/iTl9SHyrSJhttps://t.co/y3EKrXkwsRreviewing my miller high life on untappd. nose is corn, grass; taste is corn and cereal. overall, fuck i hate myself
12/5
2019
trivia https://t.co/RwFusrOx6Zi’m so tired of my parents thinking everything i do is a part of some phase. i’m buying Rosetta Stone because i’ve… https://t.co/FQR4lm5cAxit’s time for some jets football
12/3
2019
spared by abortion https://t.co/zxLHRfeRnO @SamBreske @605magazine separate whole spreadmmmm fill me up with that sweet sweet scotch ale. put that 9% scotch ale into my shitty bodyRT (via @605magazine) https://t.co/uutsjNbSaFknow i’ve been tweeting a lot about babies lately but it’s because i find them fascinating and also my arch nemesis is one
12/2
2019
who was the first person to heat something up for consumption and also why did they do thatfor some reason the baby really loves being in this specific ceramic jar at my parents’ house https://t.co/PdD52BXOd3if babies are gonna fuss so much every time they’re getting changed, i think they should simply learn to change themselves
11/30
2019
today i feel especially thankful for the many beautiful people in my life. what a wonderful mess it is to be alive.… https://t.co/ZW8UQKhJ6L
11/29
2019
imagining a Detroit Lions fan who ruins every family thanksgiving by screaming “little bitch” and “cocksucker” repe… https://t.co/7YFx7eQ7eihttps://t.co/OpAPmYf0Dh
11/28
2019
meant to post this awhile ago. Mal and i spent a random afternoon at the Crow Bar throwing darts and gambling away… https://t.co/fpvgvmU0mvi’m at my local cocktail bar, wearing a nike golf polo and the grayest pants, balding obviously. i’m wearing glasse… https://t.co/yjWeQyNJtOi actually think it’s good to wear leather
11/27
2019
i’m so tired of people waking up and immediately looking at their phones. i start each day by sitting perfectly upr… https://t.co/vwiDpjSZRF @j_holzer8 get it together
11/26
2019
🍻🖤🍻 https://t.co/HFNQkjNYcU
11/25
2019
@malllorykb 🤝it’s time for some Jets football @csolomon93 i’m interested in the melodic “sleeeeeeeep” syllable in this...poem?
11/24
2019
@BentzClara i have like ten and will work pro bono
11/23
2019
gonna totally lose it and reply “maybe you ARE on meth” seconds after Kristi Noem tweets anything for the next six months. biden 2020this guy fucks https://t.co/xkUlfpAhfl
11/22
2019
like if you think @evanarichards looks like a meerkat https://t.co/D98MFtSFbj @22mford @OlympusSports1 dreamyhttps://t.co/b1ce5gcq0p
11/21
2019
legend https://t.co/AT9z50IMac
11/20
2019
https://t.co/sSH3lSZ5Ck
11/19
2019
@moby_dickson on the anniversary of Nico’s deathmaking a concept album. so far it’s 27 minutes of welding sounds, a full opera that i recorded in my iphone’s voice… https://t.co/tsCVB8Tiol @scifecta @tacojohns jam one of four things into my ass:it’s time for some Jets football
11/18
2019
@scifecta nfl pick ‘em
11/16
2019
@SamBreske punch him in the dick insteadin 2000, Curtis Martin rushed for a career-high 203 yards to lift the Jets to a 27-17 win over Indianapolis. Curtis… https://t.co/cvwdTlxDGOfinally working on my book https://t.co/xSflbHphnZ
11/15
2019
nothing more narc than being a parking inspector. imagine getting paid to ruin people’s days. whenever i see one of… https://t.co/38VTkuD4SV @evanarichards @dougwils31 devastating @TJM613 :/ couldn’t even scratch the surface of available jokes @evanarichards @dougwils31 thanks dog! https://t.co/xucFddKjJUeveryone on here was born in 2016 and has only ever listened to BROCKHAMPTON and Neutral Milk Hoteli’m trying to get in to / understand some older country-roots stuff. any albums i should start with? i realize i mi… https://t.co/ErPQpg49Fkthis account just quote-tweeted me and i think tried to dunk on me a bit, apparently without realizing that creatin… https://t.co/i6zhNBtF6t @TenFake don’t know what that means! cheers!
11/14
2019
@22mford ask for it at every bar until they cave and ask us for beercancel! your! plans! cancel your plans https://t.co/MRo8RGroE2workwear winter
11/13
2019
whipping ass https://t.co/AHKDz6EOe3it’s time for some jets football
11/10
2019
@csolomon93 think so. hyphen kinda seems like a pause, which is funnycool! changing mine to Kanye West and immediately trademarking it https://t.co/lASal0gFi2
11/9
2019
if your baby isn’t 10/10 cute i don’t wanna see it. i’ve seen cute babies. they rule. ugly, even average babies? ju… https://t.co/v3vB9ytU6B
11/8
2019
ICYMI: @evanarichards and i are selling this Pants the Rapper print (and throwing in the sneaker print) for $5. we… https://t.co/5kMfvAXP1m
11/7
2019
Make no mistake: Medicare for All would cut taxes for most Americans | Emmanuel Saez and Gabriel Zucman | Opinion |… https://t.co/LUgcQdzTJQFirst Laker with three straight triple-doubles in 32 years. All hail the King 👑👑👑 https://t.co/2W9IatY7CK
Retweeted by justin
11/6
2019
interstate rest stop walls reflect the collective conscience like nothing else https://t.co/dPdRXpIIAR
11/4
2019
@TJM613 @FernsonBrewing feeling the love, dude. thanks for being our biggest fan. i’ve got a special coming with yo… https://t.co/lvgeyZU2Fq
11/2
2019
it’s time for some jets football
11/1
2019
We're happy to announce a new weekly event at Fernson Downtown! We'll be tapping new beers every Thursday (and only… https://t.co/dokVR1VAvh
Retweeted by justina penis boner https://t.co/o7o36yGuf3
10/31
2019
btw when i say “w/ @evanarichards,” i mean that he did almost everything we’re gonna try to do a small for-sale pr… https://t.co/TxWumjKseIDM one of us for a 4x6. $5Pants the Rapper (w/ @evanarichards) https://t.co/ZmqyApYdmoit’s time for some Jets football
10/27
2019
what’s the word for when you’re so close to and also so far away from the point https://t.co/XnnVRGQevn(featuring @tenenbaumsband, btw)fuck around and fall in love today https://t.co/JA4sQl7BIB
10/25
2019
“slay, sis,” i say to myself as i read about Hillary Clinton green-lighting drone strikes in Pakistan from her cell phonewell i actually think the jets are really good
Retweeted by justin
10/22
2019
not many people know this, but before Roger Goodell changed it to “special teams” in 2006, the kicking and receivin… https://t.co/QTllL04rP8i actually don’t think it should be called “play action” when teams fake a run and pass instead. i think it should… https://t.co/ndy2fCsq4Pit’s time for some jets footballas much as i’d love to see the tenth tour of a historical hip-hop play with a man named Chasten, https://t.co/CTdaSUE6HB
10/20
2019
[in a theater] guy who thinks every movie is a documentary: what the fuck
10/19
2019
@moby_dickson @evanarichards so lamecover art? @evanarichards @moby_dicksonstarting an emo band but instead of being mad at our dads we’re mad at our moms and their new boyfriends, who are a… https://t.co/iQUD1eigti @csolomon93 capital O is honestly appropriate treatment given our prioritiesnext time someone acts like it’s a personality trait to dislike the word moist i’m gonna show them a word they’ll really hate: my ass
Retweeted by justin
10/18
2019
Definitely super cute! https://t.co/LEk4Vr27pM
10/15
2019
https://t.co/mu9qFAtu7Twell it’s bad, bad, Leroy Brown baddest man in the Leroy Brown
10/14
2019
@courtarthur14 you got itspin this https://t.co/0IkLpuAWSNsorry to anyone this offended. let me say what i really meant. if you don’t farm land by hand 100+ years ago you sh… https://t.co/7WrPtb7MmX
10/13
2019

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