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Sexy Decoy on The Maury Show.

557 Following   205 Followers   31,226 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/5/09

you know the fuckin’ vibes god. You can make custom coffee mug designs in animal crossing new horizons. I have never been so happy in my…
Retweeted by bargain harold’s @gyip WHAT IF PETE ISNT STRONG ENOUGH
😭 if it’s safe to use a weighted blanket if my dog is in the bed tooHad a real conversation today about how the ghost that haunts the kitchen at work is mad that we’re moving into the new buildingThe Thong Song did not have to be that fucking dramatic
Retweeted by bargain harold’s @comburo I will be paid! and it will be a fun day too so I don’t mind. Complaining is just the best bit. @gyip lolol it’s fine. The extra hours are nice and a good way for me to get oriented to the new building before I…’m not angry, I was just trying to get out of helping lolthere’s a sign-up sheet at work to help out with the big move on Saturday (we’re moving to a new building!) and I w… @comburo I’ve been keeping you busy this week! @comburo I love my coworker but she doesn’t need to know about my terrible sleeping habits @comburo LOL you’re too much and I love youwhatsapp is a snitch!! im not even opening the app but it’s know that im using my phoneMy coworker assumed that I’m not a morning person because whatsapp says I’m online in the middle of the night
“You were sweet. I undressed.”
Retweeted by bargain harold’sI find it funny that no one has mentioned the *range* that Pepito has @yulischeidt excuse me!!!mom bought me some egg tarts 🥺I have a dumb meme to post but I’m going to share it later so I have something to laugh about at work tonight @comburo this list is growinganyways one of my coworkers told me to walk my dog so i can stay slim and get a boyfriend @aaaisela im just a little frog trying to eat my lunch and not engage with anyone in the staff room!me when my older coworkers ask me if i made my packed lunch my dream i made a funny tiktok with peteAnyways public transit should be free and accessible to everyone and keep cops the fuck off the ttc
Retweeted by bargain harold’ssorry i can’t be her have a lot of love for my nighttime boyNo one: Johanna in Sweeney Todd:
Retweeted by bargain harold’s @humblecore only if you do it for me too!! @anaees @ismathers @forever_is_fine I could cry @anaees @ismathers @forever_is_fine do you think they have lasagna???omg im already thinking about what to wear to the mcr concert and i haven’t even bought a ticket @ismathers @anaees @forever_is_fine 😮 it looks like this!!! I’m so ready.
これ全部たべていいですか?がんぼるぞい! translation: Can I eat all of this?
Retweeted by bargain harold’s @anaees @forever_is_fine @ismathers the food of my ancestorsthe delivery person made fun of my signature!!! yes it’s a scribble, who cares?? @anaees @forever_is_fine @ismathers wow!! @anaees @forever_is_fine @ismathers @anaees neither have I!!! a travesty!!! @anaees Have you been yet?? @comburo it’s so bad and im so attracted to him👀 earrings make me feel like im channeling @aaaisela people said nO! 🙅‍♀️🙅🙅‍♂️
Retweeted by bargain harold’s @ABundoc 👀Malc has learnt a lot of tricks.... Time for Gladys to learn some! Even where Malc can lay back and relax 😆😆
Retweeted by bargain harold’si can’t believe im considering buying something online from s h e i nWhere can I get Sal's breakfast sandwich tho
Retweeted by bargain harold’s @DistrictEden SANTIAGO @JaredGonia I’m dizzyliterally me doing my yearly reread of the outlander series while I have one library book that’s due soon and anoth… how about you read the books you already own before you... buy more books? me:
Retweeted by bargain harold’si called my sis over to show her something on my phone and pete is barking in the other room cause we’re having a c…
How I feel about going to work today @worf_tour It was good! @worf_tour LOL my dreams are so weird normally. you’re going to regret it.I took a melatonin and a benadryl. I wonder what my dreams are going to be like.i want a freaky Friday situation but it’s me and Pete and we have a grand old timeok birds of prey was a fun watch.
can i bring the rest of the risotto to the movies with me in an hour??? @comburo lol I was quoting one of their lyrics there @onforgetting you can smell this place from like a mile away 😭 it’s so goodtried to make leftover Sunday more exciting. the porteguese style chicken and potatoes were from a party last night… only make rice in rice cookers! I don’t measure!I did not think this through and I the risotto needs more liquid then I expected @comburo did you ever listen to fall out boy??! keep a light on for me @comburo 🥺 @carvalhostewart yes duhi am ˢʰʸ but i want to hang out with more mutuals this year16th February is the Feast Day of Saint Bron, patron of somber reflection. This day follows the excesses of Luperca…
Retweeted by bargain harold’salso Pepito is how we watched the nba skills challenge last night @MTRomano Pignoli I love you!Wow my hair feels very smooth and is relatively untangled after waking up. Just thought I should brag.My dog Sweet Potato Pie thinks he’s this big @comburo I’ve see this! It makes me so happy.Pepito and I went out tonight too!! we are 2 sleepy potatoes not being ironic or joking - i like watching ig stories of other people out and having fun while i am cozy in my bedmy pet bunny is sleeping shh
@carvalhostewart ohh that’s a good one @SorryMomDotGov @carvalhostewart which version tho🗣I want chicken mami and siapao but I want someone else to make it for me 🗣pep looks good with his hair tied back morning from Pepito to you. yes especially you. @likeantelope thank god for porridge!!disgosting how autocorrect automatically captitalizes those words!!!im really proud of the combination Taco Bell and Pizza Hut joke I made just now @chutson99 @MyrlCrowe I feel like this would make a great only legacymom is reminding me that when i was a kid people said i looked like camille pratts because my heart-shaped face @MyrlCrowe roses are red schnitzels are flat coat it in batter and fry it in fat
Retweeted by bargain harold’sSappho whenever she's unable to finish her weaving because she's overcome with longing for a girl
Retweeted by bargain harold’s
Look who I found at one of my local indies with a shelf talker 😍 @ek_johnston
Retweeted by bargain harold’s @anaees 😈another toad, fuck it available to be someone’s fake partner together to get in on those valentine date night dealsI love this toad on instagram