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J. W. Crump @JWCrump New York, New York

#PodLedom podcaster. Director of Comedy @unarthodoxNYC. Host of #GasStationHorror. Alum of @nbcunitips, @nytvf and Mom’s gentle uterus. Biz: crump.jw@gmail.com

1,007 Following   1,387 Followers   2,434 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/8/08


@JayJurden Also she didn’t do ANYTHING with it. Hell, hold up a phone and live tweet for a minute. @DKimps It’s weird! I lost my smell and taste and food texture was suddenly a big deal @chrtucci I know you’re doing a character but honestly, you could pivot hard to this career and I’d support
4/4
2020
Tyra’s still handing out top photos https://t.co/hM4F5cPHmA @chrtucci I have the worst body but the best jokes.I just want the fitness comedians to like me: https://t.co/uWIMAqlUNaWow @dylaneshbaugh https://t.co/eJqjFvcrgu
4/3
2020
I love the universe John is proposing where I was having sex right up until the SECOND quar started. Y’all, I’ve… https://t.co/BssH9LZwU9Not saying anything the entire video call? AbsoMUTEly @TheKateShine She’s def named the way i do my charactersWhen I tell you I cackled at “Hi my name is JORTS!” https://t.co/ZYIiwmttZgOkay he can develop MY full stack (I’m sorry) https://t.co/p4XScm3hgJThis is art. this is the only thing that's ever been art. https://t.co/Eez107xBRMI applaud those whose entire personality is just stanning.I'd fuck for a hug.
4/2
2020
@msalicenutting That’s where I’m at too @DKimps I finally knew a reference you didn’t! Can’t wait to finally truly start my life as a queer culture enthusiast.
4/1
2020
Workout 40!! https://t.co/Lp98cc6Py3Everyone’s learning to cook so they can better eat the rich. Gonna be a lot of The Rich Served with Iffy SourdoughNot muting your mic is the new reply all
Retweeted by J. W. CrumpLast night’s dream: I allowed my apartment to be used for the building’s annual potluck. Neighbor @chrtucci kept me… https://t.co/H8YdtC06Lb @ashtonevans I don’t ever rewatch vids and yet here I am 20 times later
3/31
2020
"hope everything's going well!" - 2 different bosses who cut all of my income
Retweeted by J. W. CrumpMutual asked me to send a vid of me doing pushups in my sexy singlet and after I did he responded, “Solid push-ups!… https://t.co/MhT2DuZ1iD“At this point I ran out of magnets” https://t.co/ccC9FrgVgrWow we really didn’t Kevin enough credit for being the fun one back in the day https://t.co/Nmb2Ccv7uG @eshap Fantastic storyline
3/30
2020
@mattbrooooks Your poor beau @eatprayjason Thirsty hoe @onbrandbrandonn “YOU MUST BE GETTING SO MUCH WRITING DONE!!” What people scream at me every day as i start seeing… https://t.co/y4tgk1Jz3q @colesteffensen Yep! Had to look it up. Was recommended to me. Not a fan...Apparently now we censor the word b*llying but also only sometimes? https://t.co/N3fZVuXRHu @iprunes Yep. Tho I talk out loud a lot at home.Living alone in quarantine has decimated my language skills. Just said to a bag of chips: “These should eat me good!”
3/29
2020
@Megan_Sass It’s true!! I regret it!!Workout 38 of 175! Trying! Please like me for this and not who I am!! https://t.co/wKQX0Nt4Te @JayJurden We have similar tastes in a different order which would make a train very organized“If Jason still haunts you, you’re not alone.” https://t.co/V9CJquqWJb @Porchia Omg i can’t wait to watch and find out what this means @MrLichtenstein Yes, pre-quar as I refer to it. I remember them having several varieties of varying quality. @colesteffensen I 👏 wanted 👏 to 👏 BOOK @JayJurden I need to TALK about boy Crystal. I’ve never been so attracted to a drag race contestant. It’s distracting.Pssst here’s a secret. I was cast in a pilot of such a show and it was messy. They wanted contestants to shit talk… https://t.co/N71DQkFLAV
3/28
2020
@popLOCKEdropit I hate how jealous I am of adjustable dumbbells. This quar really altering my personalityLol remember hugs? @colesteffensen I was the senior producer and head writer at an esports studio for about a year and a half. Not as… https://t.co/YNTeOiNKKr @jason_sweeten Hey um Jas (I call you Jas now, get into it) do you need um someone to review these ideasSo happy to be working with this team! https://t.co/pHqaoRiQk3All y’all losing your sense of taste due to corona, now’s the time to try ass.
3/27
2020
@itzaritz I don't want to sound naive, but on a small local scale, I've only seen the best kindness from people. My… https://t.co/nOPvXbDUz6 @sethdanie1 My apologies @sethdanie1 But you have the vocal volume of a 6’1” man @sethdanie1 Well then at least you’re a muscle god @cammmyd Omg look at your little stern face!! @sethdanie1 Ugh jealous of that counter space @amanda_hirsch @NailedIt There’s a late night (unsure which show) where Byer talks about kids loving her and her no… https://t.co/1zkU9JYInU @JennWelchNow The buried car episode becomes this sorta season by season tradition of having the “race against time… https://t.co/SxQNQp0I0MJust the other day, someone reminded me "people will always need entertainment." Great advice. One day I want… https://t.co/kUXPNGvNzj @JennWelchNow would absolutely love to hear any and all thoughts #BonesStanBrill https://t.co/xHoWPvCHhkSeason 13: “Butt Portion Ham” https://t.co/v6xDNAxWbp
3/26
2020
@Mikeimprota @Pornhub worth a follow (i scream into the middle-distance) @kevinasarobot YIKES @Mikeimprota @Pornhub "handle the load" is chef's kiss wordingGot my birthday card from my mom and she wrote “if we could have picked any child, we would have chosen you!” Y’al… https://t.co/NCubJn9RYVGlad Animal Crossing is letting me escape reality!! https://t.co/SAYz5LGp8y @zakkamin I watched as TWO people back to back in my IG stories asked if it was “weird” that they couldn’t taste or… https://t.co/3d3CQtOZCO @christiandluu Literally one of the most played songs in my iTunes!! @ilianainocencio Yay!! Also great line read!! 🧡 @thisdiegolopez @JayJurden Someone had the NERVE to tell me they were “surprised” mine were so good. I 👏 work 👏 in… https://t.co/kBYYYv2955
3/25
2020
@jason_sweeten Also you have such true genuine excitement that it’s contagious (i tried to think of a better word but quit) @theruraljuror_ Sean I’ve got news I’ve seen the IG pics this already happenedJerry Falwell has decided to reopen Liberty University this week despite the coronavirus outbreak. I guess he real… https://t.co/BEsqXV3V9M
Retweeted by J. W. CrumpBJ tweeted this right after wishing me a happy birthday so I’ll take credit for that boredom THANKS 🥰 https://t.co/wxBgJnD0D2 @JohnMCoons It’s all I’ve ever wantedThe first person to do this option. I still dropped the fly ball tho 😔 https://t.co/VWyJ9SwAMb @JohnMCoons John. @chrtucci The more platonic the better. I’m hilariously collecting the least intriguing collection of shirtless pic… https://t.co/Zkcceisnin @chrtucci Screen shorting this for LATER @waylonjeepers This was a pleasure to translate. 🥰Reminder! I’m 35 today and these are the things you can do and post online or send directly as a treat. All free. I… https://t.co/i3oGVlqwpI
3/24
2020
@henrymelcher in this new world, being the worst at a thing is really paying dividends 😌 @henrymelcher I consult for some fitness folks when I'm between TV shows, and I was on a call with them and they sa… https://t.co/PzwaFaPcQT @henrymelcher no joke, someone reached out to me yesterday to ask if I wanted to do that role in a video. never felt more aliveI'm the fattest of my fitness friends, the gayest of my gamer friends, and the funniest of my comedy friends. 😌 @JayJurden OOP double OOPThe best thing to come out of all this is the phrase "notion-monger." Can't wait to use hourly. @StevieRoeSays perfect. joke.I used Dunkin' napkins for 3 days and honestly, it was my best life. https://t.co/oZlAcClC4M @jeffmondoro Jeff.Animal Crossing is wild https://t.co/w4H6ovCnT3Yesterday I mentioned to a straight friend that I couldn’t give blood and he was flabbergasted. Yep, it’s such a du… https://t.co/TwNrafrQAYHow are everyone's resolutions going?
Retweeted by J. W. Crump @adammc123 Underrated tweetOne of the #hotgays I promised @theruraljuror_ I’d follow made his first “comedy” video today and I’ve watched it 8… https://t.co/JIZ38Bo955
3/23
2020
@JayJurden Can i have ONE “lordt” because I’m southern?What does this...feel fake? https://t.co/e8QKwRmibNAdd me on Switch! https://t.co/kDv0IWX5uW @MelissaAquiles Add me as a friend!! https://t.co/V2mq0k6a8ZMy parents are out making the literal Walking Dead: https://t.co/z24WFcnXgo
3/22
2020

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