Sign in with Twitter


Kim Swift @K2theSwift Los Angeles, CA

Made some Portal game thing. Does stuff, collects potentially hazardous hobbies. Designs games and whatnot. These opinions are only my own.

859 Following   8,388 Followers   5,705 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/10/12

@zerena_hoofs Last day in LA and of course earthquake. Typical.Oh good. Earthquake. Thanks. 😒
@MelRambles I find my jaw and neck get really stiff when I have a migraine and I end up getting in this pain filled… @MelRambles Sounds weird, but try a heating pad on your neck and an ice pack wrapped in a towel over your eyes whil… @moby_dickhead @LOrealParisUSA Give it a few washes and it’ll be that color. In the future if you want pastels, put… @Digital_Vix3n I make guac, A LOT. @Tea_The_Khajiit I find the razer kraken headphones comfy for my tiny child sized skull. I’ve been using em all day…
@twkelly_EDU Grew up in Texas, it’s been a permanent part of my vernacular since I was a teenager.I found...THE SPOT.
@renee Get yourself a “melting dome” my secret for perfect fried eggs with crispy edges. Medium to medium-high heat… state’s rights, huh? I dunno about you but this is not what I wanna pay taxes towards. @azraelkrieg I mean you can ask. I have no idea. All I know is it scared the shit out of me.Ah, 3am my old friend. This time courtesy of my partner screaming in his sleep.
@zerena_hoofs How does one allegedly pee? I feel like that would be a pretty obvious thing to discern. @jeremymeyers @MelRambles Just wait until you’re in your 30s. you so much to insomnia brain for waking me up to serenade me with The Twelve Days of Christmas at 3am. @NickPiers Care Bears: Knives Out. Yeh, alright, I’d go see that.
I invented a new quarantine hobby. Also, I will soon be murdered in my sleep.
Retweeted by Kim Swift @TJPayne3333
@iammaredhead @Sigtric We have a set of silicone and a set of metal straws at the house.
@Sigtric 15.
@zimmrin I really love both impossible and beyond burgers. @Sigtric and I eat them all the time. Try it with a gril…
@s3rioussam @autumnbreezed @jlalleve You can take the elevator down to the parking garage anyways. Don’t forget to… @autumnbreezed @jlalleve @s3rioussam Kinda reminds me of the terrible murals in the motive parking garage. @Relentlessbored I nominate that dude to sacrifice to save the Statue of Liberty, if that’s where they’re going with that.
@kirkhamilton There's also a Real Folk Blues arrangement, which I also assume you've seen but will likely need to w… @kirkhamilton have you seen this nugget of joy, complete with extended jazz saxophone solo? 😬 @autumnbreezed Asinine. Also a good replacement for phasing ableist language out of the vocab. Also fun to say out loud.I will never not love out of context ads on videos: @waltdwilliams I’m gonna hold you to this, Walt.
@apocalynds Fierce!! 🔥 🔥 🔥 @zerena_hoofs I mean... I feel like tanks are a pretty good deterrent. @Sigtric
@ebeinke The only time I've ever had someone put a bag up for me is when I literally was in a sling and had shoulde… @aaronlinde @indigoboock Aaahh!! Congrats Linde!! @zerena_hoofs I didn’t! Well, maybe I ate moldy jam a few months ago? I started making my own at home. Glad I didn’t buy more!
@osamadorias @MitchyD I, out loud, and to the utter confusion of my dog, screamed “HOLY SHIT!!!”I'm banned from the museum.
Retweeted by Kim Swift @zerena_hoofs breakfast!! Dutch baby pancake with fresh plums. look! With an n95 and a surgical mask on (2 masks) after an extremely busy day on the Covid unit continuously…
Retweeted by Kim Swift
@osamadorias That is not a thing I ever expected to happen. Like EVER. @ebeinke So oddly, I find laying down with a heating pad wrapped around my neck and an ice pack in a towel over my… @YoniVL @redditships
How to cognitive
Retweeted by Kim Swift @Sigtric I’d get a Mini Countryman... which I have... wouldn’t mind getting one of the newer hybrid ones though.
Watching young people discover Rage Against the Machine for the first time on YouTube is basically my favorite thin…
@Jonahlobe I choose: @bradwparsons SquareEnix! They own the IP. :)
@MelRambles It’s on Disney + @osamadorias Gotta love a good happy cry!
@nix_interactive Same, I loved this movie soooo much. @Sigtric @Sigtric need literally everyone to remember that everyone’s favorite overly intense dramatic actor was singing and dancin… @MockRamblings @bexcran @Drone637 @randileeharper Basically the whole vaccine is just filled with nanotrackers beca… @HRefayi @DuvalMagic Pretty sure that Spongebob works in food service. @janusemers76 @DuvalMagic Hell yes!Hey, game industry ladies. I just want you to know you're all strong, punk rock rebels, and I support you. @Adsinjapan No kewpie mayo and sauce on top tho. :(Ah yes, to be woken up by the splendid thud of your partner accidentally shoving his cat off the bed in his sleep.… @BlueHeelerKY @Sigtric @That_Girl_Jesss @Sigtric inhaled his plate at a dizzying speed.
@Chii_Dev @Sigtric Awww. Well luckily these were in the oven for only an hour and I didn’t have to look at them. 😂So Cornish Game Hens are actually nice to make if you’re a bit kitchen-challenged but want to make something that l… finally, hit that sucker with some lemon juice and put it on a bed of Carolina Gold rice cooked simply in veggi… of the oven! Internal temperature needs to hit 170f so you don’t, you know, poison yourself. some olive oil all over them and seasoned with salt, pepper, and a few different seasonings from La Boite,…, I preheated the oven to 375f, and spatchcocked these suckers (removed the spine with scissors and smushed em) f… for another random cooking thread. @Sigtric has never had Cornish Game Hens before. So let’s get these dudes p… @ThomasKildren You can make gluten free bread in bread makers! There’s plenty of recipes out there and it’s cheaper… bread maker by far was my best impulse quarantine purchase. I use it on average about twice a week. Having your h… @timcullings I couldn’t really sleep last night because it sounded like a war zone and my house kept shaking. @jeffreyremick Let’s be honest though. The people setting off fireworks not giving a crap about their neighbors, po… how cloth masks work to help prevent the spread of coronavirus? Here’s a nice video by @DrJoeHanson for…
Retweeted by Kim SwiftBlack collar in both kung woof and barkarate
Retweeted by Kim Swift @zerena_hoofs Figure if I’m gonna be trapped inside all day, I may as well stare at a lake. @jeffreyremick I don’t think that’s how fireworks work?Thanks. I hate it. @zerena_hoofs Yep. It’s why I wanna go back home to be closer to family. Pretty sure this is the new normal.I didn’t used to hate fireworks. But then I moved to Los Angeles. @Sigtric I grew those tomatoes 🍅 💖!
@zerena_hoofs One of the nice things about murica these days. @Sigtric He wanted to see if he could open the sliding glass door. He could not.A thread about Mando the Chameleon. When we got Mando he came in this critter keeper. Altoids tin for size referen…
Retweeted by Kim Swift @autumnbreezed @MitchyD What always cracked me up was these were always the same dudes that had stay at home mom wi… @autumnbreezed @MitchyD Never had a dvd given to me, but have definitely gotten a fair amount of men at work lectur… @zerena_hoofs Oh! I got that yesterday too. But hey, delivery in 15 minutes was amazing.Damn, I meant to say nose and mouth but whatevs, you get the point.Just for fun, try asking an anti-masker if they also don’t cover their mouth when they sneeze or cough. The mental… yes, 5am. The best time to set off fireworks???? @hello_malika I think maybe an Asian American thing? I remember having Vienna sausages and rice when I was a kid. A… @sarah_bytes At my most fit, running multiple times a week and doing Muay Thai, I was still thick. I love that vide… @jlalleve YASSSSS work it!! @Sigtric It’s not over yet.