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Writer for hire. Formerly of MTV, Vanity Fair, and Vice. Streetwise to the lies and the jive talk. Email: kaleb.c.horton@gmail.com. Podcast: @LastExitShow

1,538 Following   19,871 Followers   21,126 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/7/11


@ARTofCOOP The internet was ruined by randos, honestly. @NickMillerMusic @davidgross_man I’ve gotten heavy into Link Wray lately. He’s a class of ‘55 guy but he’s so metal… https://t.co/j4MQ7LJd1MThere’s this thing country music fans do where they map their beliefs onto the musicians they like no matter how mu… https://t.co/rkdzdTcmkbThe comments to this seem to suggest that I don’t like Johnny Cash (even though I wanted to be him by the time I wa… https://t.co/keTsldevhk @tcote @bowiesongs https://t.co/zgpgOtVahr
2/16
2019
@alshipley We’ll probably assume that if he dies at 91. @kalebhorton He will make you hurt (with 22/30 passing for three TDs and zero INTs against your defense)
Retweeted by Kaleb Horton @snipy I know. He’s on some next level shit. Way beyond instagram fitness influencers who act like they just went t… https://t.co/kQIYKVqSqIImagine Johnny Cash cutting the vocals for Hurt and leaving the studio to throw the ol’ pigskin around. Impossible.It makes me laugh that Bruce Springsteen is just about the same age as Johnny Cash when he recorded Hurt, but Bruce… https://t.co/KhHI6kbz9g"Hello, I am Henry Kissinger. I orchestrate mass genocide and agitate for perpetual war. This is my best friend Pau… https://t.co/jEAnMqbRjO @davidgross_man This looks pretty damn good. I'll make a point of it.I was reading about Hooters because the concept of Hooters is profoundly sad, and found out there was a Hooters air… https://t.co/oITs151VSb"Hi! I'm Paul Simon. I wrote some cutesy little folk songs. No, they're not corny, they're very smart. Anyway, this… https://t.co/KiTSD0KFbr @bart_smith @mollylambert I saw Molly's post and thought "no way, she must be talking about a politician named Paul… https://t.co/DbrpOmGnbAIt's very important for all of you to know that Paul Simon, him of stealing from Los Lobos fame, is besties with He… https://t.co/HHdaElQ8MR @NickMillerMusic Shit! Now I have to go get it right away! @lisajanepersky It’s more that it no longer looks like an old house. It’s fine by me if it’s new. (They did this sa… https://t.co/QSJMSSiFcc @andylevy something like that @andylevy the city of never sleeping, babyMASSIVE BREAKING NEWS ALERT I was driving home through Griffith Park in the rain and there was one guy out in the… https://t.co/ILpOVlmitG
2/15
2019
@joe_bish Huh. Yeah, it does. That's the exact issue.House flippers live to do two things: knock out fireplaces, and make every single room of every house look like the… https://t.co/rBzrX7MbTuThis is house-flipping propaganda, and pro-AirBnB propaganda. The only thing they did is destroy every ounce of per… https://t.co/ZTB3sZFQ79News: 300+ journalists at the L.A. Times, including Pulitzer winners and our top columnists, have signed a letter o… https://t.co/JmMi5RYJjY
Retweeted by Kaleb HortonHappy Valentine's Day! https://t.co/W1bSFn1dx3
Retweeted by Kaleb Horton @ByYourLogic @tupacdurex @intellegint Because I have nowhere else to share this story, I had to work E3 once in may… https://t.co/AKX5tjDdpI @mollylambert pictured: Linda Ronstadt on tour with the eagles https://t.co/2EYwnaoRnh
Retweeted by Kaleb Horton @mollylambert I worked a Hopper exhibit and it was hugely inspiring. Also, he did the cover for Maria McKee’s You Gotta Sin to Get Saved. @maggieserota you’re a lovely couple! @maggieserota beautiful picture, is this your boyfriend? @Lowenaffchen When Ryan Adams says alt-country, it means “I make worse music than the Counting Crows,” but come on,… https://t.co/vFJvK8cFs8 @Arr @NedRaggett @pablohidalgo I want to go up there and bum around so bad. @NedRaggett @pablohidalgo Pann’s would be every entry on the list if it were still 24/7. @franzferdinand2 Something about that show seemed so pure. A wharf. Beautiful.I was really hoping that Last Call with Carson Daly would keep getting made forever, his show part of a lost depart… https://t.co/KxnD8IlUmV
2/14
2019
@snipy Ah, here's how I learned that: https://t.co/WuqWIwsj1M @snipy I think he wrote Hello in There when he was shockingly young, like 21.Had the pleasure of meeting the Mars explorer Opportunity at a charity do once. It was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.
Retweeted by Kaleb HortonYou won't believe it. I don't believe it myself - 96 today. How to live to 120? Live to 119 and then be very very… https://t.co/Vizr01RZkF
Retweeted by Kaleb Horton @snipy Fish and chips places and their decline fascinate me. They all seem stuck in 1976 and they’re all ragged and… https://t.co/GFHZCqjJMvDancing around the question, but Who Wants To Be A Millionaire when Regis was hosting would have been amazing to fo… https://t.co/k3aUvC8ecQ @snipy I wanna go to Ohio just to try it.I did the reading. Got three laughs, which was big for me because I’d never seen how my gag lines go over in public… https://t.co/fUz6ENlmwDExtremely excited to do a reading of this piece downtown tonight. My first reading ever. I’m probably gonna be very… https://t.co/JzhPtzprzv
2/13
2019
@LA_Res_Tourist @theLAndmagazine Yeah, all digital. Had a longform thing I was working on for a national magazine a… https://t.co/PoQZilQ63v @BobSaietta He asked me that same question not terribly long ago. It'll all be answered in the piece though, which… https://t.co/ma8NCCN8qBAfter he says his forty words we'll probably walk to the Valero station for cigarettes, and I'll stretch that into… https://t.co/Aa4YepBlyiI think I'll profile my working-class high school educated white brother for a magazine. He'll say forty words and… https://t.co/S6iEzeMx4b @GMPaiella @KhushAndOJ If this is Waxpaper, despite the NPR host names, they have two of my favorite sandwiches in… https://t.co/ls8XTXYslw @Hanksingle These days I only write essays as a hobby unless the price or story is perfect. I got out because it wa… https://t.co/KWhNu3yTT9 @Hanksingle To be fair, the magazine's been out a few days.My new piece is live. It's about California fast food history, Pioneer Chicken, and the music of 1970s dirtbags. He… https://t.co/kuWXRFhj6pAlways try to write something every day https://t.co/DYTYtsITNd
Retweeted by Kaleb Horton @NickMillerMusic I think everybody makes their own bubble in a city so it's a hackable size. (Also there are lifest… https://t.co/HFKEUcO4AbAlternatively: I highly enjoy the music of Paul Simon. His Graceland album is breathtaking, and none of it was stolen from Los Lobos.I am considering moving to New York so I can experience the electric pulse of a great city and finally stop driving… https://t.co/GxvMdeMjx6
2/12
2019
@NedRaggett @highway_62 @NexusRasp @quartzcity @ericjlawrence @neurasthenya I suppose I'll have to make a point of… https://t.co/lxZNvd8aox @highway_62 @NedRaggett @neurasthenya I figure that’s just part of the circuit in a job like that. I’d probably do… https://t.co/UUzK2Q9bgs @MarkRichardson My fantasy of abandoning writing to fish and garden kinda operates on this idea. Total simplicity a… https://t.co/QeGYd2n6a0 @MarkRichardson There’s a zen allure to that. Simplicity and order. Getting rid of all bloat forever. Focus. I don’… https://t.co/TM2tInF0Ta @kalebhorton It’s not a death wish, but a will to live that’s inspiring and also totally unsettling
Retweeted by Kaleb HortonThe movie gave me the impression that free soloing is less about playing chicken with a train than it is being a co… https://t.co/KSMRyWHUAJI dug the parts of Free Solo where the guy’s 1,500 feet in the air on a sheer cliff face holding onto an invisible… https://t.co/82BVNLEd58
2/11
2019
If Saturday Night Live consisted entirely of people dryly, uncharitably reading bubble gum wrapper jokes, it would… https://t.co/uF45QM4hxg @AWolfeful “Just. Pull. It. Right. Back.” before Somebody Have Mercy is stunning.Whoops, accidentally ruined my whole week by seeing a single sentence containing information about Saturday Night L… https://t.co/BPxskpoY2ZAnyway, check out Willie’s new episode of Austin City Limits, a roaring set where he makes the case that he might a… https://t.co/82WRkc7xW8I took it for granted at the time because my uncle constantly played it on his radio show, but It’s All Going To Po… https://t.co/iO6zAI4QvB
2/10
2019
@tcote I don’t recall, actually.Y’all ought to get a copy of this magazine regardless of my involvement. It’s packed with great writing. https://t.co/0WOWNB7R7d @milnerwords Too intimidated. Any highlights?After inexplicably putting it off for years, I finally listened to The Delta Sweete by Bobbie Gentry, and it’s damn… https://t.co/caSCoSkQDlScottish twitter: I cannae wae ta eat me own shite after i gae off work at tae alcoholism factory American twitter… https://t.co/Z0WjHytgkk
Retweeted by Kaleb Horton @TalkingALF @theLAndmagazine Both but the photos are from Bell Gardens.I’m in print for the first time ever. Cool. (@theLAndmagazine) https://t.co/3kVMhK2ckU @marieberd @a_nice_frog The Michael Keaton Halloween episode, but only after you’ve otherwise seen all the classic… https://t.co/lsTcd8ughO
2/9
2019
@AdrianChen (Don’t tell anybody, but I think they’re a bit overrated for how long that line usually is. I like Tacq… https://t.co/oXwnzaQWZsI’ll forgive all the fake-woke brands if just one of them - the cupcake people, the imitation beef people, whoever… https://t.co/WyEIMgaQAM @PFTompkins It’s featured in Warren Zevon’s The Factory and I thought it was made up until about five years ago.
2/8
2019
Hey, @theLAndmagazine drops tomorrow and y’all better pick one up because I got my first bona fide print piece in i… https://t.co/Y3i2L3h7sMAnd the “genius” who made the game would be somebody working in the games business now, so the premise is that Pete… https://t.co/p0zUjUOX6QMarie made me watch some of Ready Player One last night to torture me, and I think my favorite fantasy element was… https://t.co/vRjjPtLonZ @GMPaiella Amen.
2/7
2019
@jesshopp @meaghan_garvey @TylerMahanCoe If We Make It Through December is a masterpiece.
2/6
2019
@Bro_Pair Setlist: The New World, Under The Big Black Sun, I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts.
2/4
2019
Happy Super Bowl Sunday, every member of the Patriots should be in jail, God bless.
Retweeted by Kaleb HortonEverybody talks about Hurt and the heavy Baptist stuff about death, but hearing Cash sing tough country-rock with t… https://t.co/GlQDSWLeZmEvery once in awhile I remember that Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers were Johnny Cash's band for a minute, and they s… https://t.co/jtoTevmj64Red Bluff, California. https://t.co/kLKVEUJmgc @ProducerMcD Swartzwelder is a once in a generation comedic genius. Nobody comes close.“If anything, you should have MORE possessions. You don’t even own a computer.” Or “I am familiar with the work of… https://t.co/SNiyLcFrZV
2/3
2019
@mollylambert @meaghan_garvey Get both Austin City Limits albums immediately, and don’t sleep on the ANTI albums. B… https://t.co/c70786stE1Well, only one person remembered the song that won that year, and even he said Scotty Doesn’t Know is better, so I… https://t.co/4ZgMhQdCbz @bader_diedrich I love it when a script calls for a radio hit and they inadvertently make a real radio hit. The num… https://t.co/VsbYvQgWXc“Scotty Doesn’t Know” deserved to win Best Original Song at the 2005 Oscars. I will withdraw this statement if anyo… https://t.co/4QExqHVEG3Highway 99. https://t.co/K3aWW2qezCHighway 99. https://t.co/pmiyLnb7SH
2/2
2019
@LDBurnett @LeavittAlone It's gone now. Torn down awhile back.Highway 99. https://t.co/KZZkA1xnc2
Retweeted by Kaleb Horton
2/1
2019

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