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Your mother and I are separating. Debut EP 'I Am Not an Animal' out now 🖤👇

148 Following   278 Followers   1,897 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/8/17


@michaelmphysics @COOLJINZO He offered me a crisp after his set and it was the warmest bag of crisps I've ever put… https://t.co/YWjysmq8Gq @JCQuickDIY I'd forgotten about this! Plus that corpse at the start...
2/23
2020
@iainkey @fightmilkband Iain!! Your CD is in the post! I'm so sorry, the post was my enemyGovernment & Parliament: let touring musicians travel. Support musicians working in the EU post-Brexit… https://t.co/uZNJbNAN7E
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺Has anyone ever been as smug as Priti Patel holding a blue passport while families are torn apart by a batshit made… https://t.co/vHXCGvCCQi @Sneakachu25 @NDread93 Well shit! What a nice lady. @NDread93 Was that actually Alexa Chung??
2/22
2020
@fightmilkband @Fisher_Ben Thank you for being so sympathetic to the fact we had to go on AFTER @COOLJINZO! #bessieeeeeIt's karaoke later which means it's time to MAKE IT A BIT MORE INTENSE THAN IT NEEDS TO BEThe prophecy was foretold. https://t.co/oZ8uN65BMf https://t.co/8CXj6278am
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2/21
2020
Musicians doing a UK tour anywhere outside of London https://t.co/0uk1mwm9yQ
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺 @DexyMusic Ah this was a bit inaccurate actually, but platforms like gigmit charge you a fee to be able to apply to festivals. Gross. @backofthegig The mental gymnastics I'm having to do to try and understand this£244 a band member! You can record an album for less than that and you don't even have to go to the UK!So the official line from @patel4witham is that we must only have the British musics for the British peoples. Oh… https://t.co/6pdO4bBhno
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺We've been looking at the Government's announcement about the Points Based Immigration System and, to be honest, we… https://t.co/5VwgGnDwJg
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺☑️Visas for touring EU bands ☑️Facebook restricting event invites to 50 unless you buy advertising ☑️ Independent v… https://t.co/3GdBhCtyu2Happy Thursday! Let's get miserable. 🖤 https://t.co/BWRRwkR5nghttps://t.co/TnFKsDM6jM
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2/20
2020
@Sipperana Thank you! 🖤 @inpIastic Oh shitHere's me with Jack Nicholson's mouth anyway #doppelgangerchallenge https://t.co/sSSBa7vDTsMe listening to the @kaptinhansum EP. https://t.co/EJFmAD3O8G
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺Any male born after 1978 can’t cook ... all they know is listen to Pavement and explain favorite Mr. Show sketch
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺"Fresh, weird and wonderfully personal." Thank you so much @getinherears 🖤 https://t.co/w21O5uhxEvHave a read and see if you can beat my time for going from ‘what a shame’ to ‘ha ha fuck you’. https://t.co/ESrulg5aqv
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺Woken up to the news that Colin Hanks runs a handkerchief business called Hanks Kerchiefs and it's brought me absolute inner peace
2/19
2020
How stupid do you have to be to cancel this show https://t.co/FZoPY0Y9wP @abigailb I'm the little furry weasel bastardHey the Beeb, if you can't afford Dafne Keen anymore me and this emoji rat will be Lyra and Pan for £20 and an EP p… https://t.co/0SgOz9oGmE
2/18
2020
Thought I'd written the most banging chorus of my life just now and it turns out it's just this. https://t.co/dPcAmIuD0BWhat a nice gig write up! Thanks @getinherears ❤️ https://t.co/PRR3ZYTtxr https://t.co/c2DMHmXwH6 @iverseng @maybekatiejane Sexy Jesus was in the worst horror film ever, the seminal BATS!. You are welcome
2/17
2020
Gransnet does not fuck about (open for a lovely surprise) https://t.co/yIu95DfOHI
2/15
2020
Excited about all the lovely live music we'll be hosting tonight at @TheFinPub ! Doors 8pm, FREE entry 🎙 Reminder… https://t.co/LKfosRVpWa
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺Thanks to the post office being shit I won't have any physical CDs available this evening. HOWEVER there will be so… https://t.co/puVCY4s0EtIt was a breakup so powerful I've never been able to write a song deserving of itI struggle to remember the exact date but I think it's nearish the anniversary of the most incredible breakup I've… https://t.co/ucRxOOBk1xChoose your own adventure! come down to the Finsbury tonight if you want an A) ass whuppin B) good time C) all of t… https://t.co/8wRrutvnwx @Beardynoise ʸᵉˢ @Beardynoise YissOne of my favourite bits of gigs is afterwards where everyone's frantically tweeting everyone else going 'you were… https://t.co/sihE0VakkrThe bloody excellent @fightmilkband were bloody excellent https://t.co/v6GR3pkOom
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺You can keep your super-male, super-boring festivals thanks, I just got to play on a bill with three of the best li… https://t.co/lKdWIrezX6
2/14
2020
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD. gromit https://t.co/MDsueZoMQA
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺 @davemint If they arrive in time then yes! :)Dead excited that people have started getting EPs in the post! Pets seem to be enjoying them a lot @kaptinhansum has drawn the attention of the animals https://t.co/R2SFXlJ9dl
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2/13
2020
OH LORD THEY COMIN https://t.co/AETLsL6f91It’s possible you missed the release of the Captain Handsome E.P on the 31st, due to Other Stuff Going On. This is… https://t.co/d1HPWhm3Cv
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2/12
2020
I think my next album is just going to be 50 mins of the sound of my debit card being declined at AsdaThe #Jamaica50 flight has taken off. The government is deporting people who arrived in the UK as young as 2, often… https://t.co/v7UscpVzCS
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺✨Just a few days to go until we're back at The Finsbury on 14th Feb, with the dreamiest of line-ups! Second band of… https://t.co/nUL8QI8pSN
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2/11
2020
Incredibly excited to be playing with some amazing bands this Friday with Captain Handsome! And it's free! Come dow… https://t.co/NuHybrdZwXMaybe the real winner tonight...is cinema? 🤔 https://t.co/lVUeHQgUdI
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2/10
2020
@SouthernRailUK hello! Would trying to travel from London Victoria to Worthing this morning be a really bad idea?
2/9
2020
I'M JUST GOING TO THE STOREBoss Baby. https://t.co/vuLMgWHa9Q
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2/8
2020
9pm: yeah I'll do one karaoke song, why not, I'll just do a quick Kirsty MacColl, finish my pint and go home 10.30… https://t.co/xqfBlk2Nno @TheOtherOnesUK What the fuck does the Guardian know 🖕🖕🖕🖕A gentle PSA that Porco Rosso is the best Studio Ghibli film https://t.co/fGZIBJCIuAAhh thank you David and @ChrisHawkinsUK! https://t.co/RmM5nrpRk3
2/7
2020
Look at the size of this carrot https://t.co/QJBlYZ0nHl @NDread93 Mega congrats ❤️ @NDread93 Those fish earrings!!!Probably the weirdest bit of that Madonna show was where she sold a polaroid selfie to someone in the crowd for £20… https://t.co/mz3WfjSi5w
2/6
2020
Here's a new piece I've written https://t.co/bgJsLJptVG
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺Hi, The South of England, we've almost sorted the booking of our mini tour but would anyone like to host us on 12/0… https://t.co/OHoiyOFT8G
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺 @boo_human @NatalieHealey I'm enjoying you logging in once a month to support your friends and then leave
2/5
2020
The best thread on this or any website https://t.co/U6brSoYGFq @NDread93 YessssThank you so much to everyone who has said nice things about, or listened to, my very small EP I Am Not An Animal s… https://t.co/YAfCwJt7Lxuk festivals be like "why is everyone asking us to book more women we already booked Pale Waves what more do these freaky feminists WANT?"
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺Closing this competition later today - entry details & picture of dog in tweet below 🐕 FAO: @kaptinhansum https://t.co/XmCjKQPiIG
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2/4
2020
Hey absolutely average all male bands, what's it like never having to fight for festival slots? https://t.co/Q2A9q1NqsG @kermesforever @razorcuts @ynotfestival @RadioMatlock Can't believe we lost out to Mr Motivator AGAIN"Right - we've got the option of booking one of the many really good bands that aren't made up entirely of men, or… https://t.co/neQDbZnPQLGotta admire the consistency of these estate-agent-office-party festivals, who would rather book Frank Turner - who… https://t.co/C00C5wnIIz @razorcuts @ynotfestival @RadioMatlock @kermesforever *cracks knuckles over keyboard*
2/3
2020
I wrote about five songs that are why I'm like this. I'm sorry. Thank you @getinherears ❤️ https://t.co/vmIJR3p7u1Thank you to @cambmr for calling I Am Not An Animal 'a sublime and potent mix' which also accurately describes the… https://t.co/K6HxPHyCFU
2/2
2020
Bring me the head of the Oatly copywriter
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺Happy Saturday, here's my favourite tweet again https://t.co/MeEH47Hqcg @razorcuts @headoflondon Face on him.This song absolutely fucks me up and I can’t believe I get to play it @kaptinhansum https://t.co/wQrmNCmIib
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺 @Nickel_Wound LEWIE @Nickel_Wound https://t.co/gxNE6jwVnA @Drinkmeforfree @DexyMusic Sorry ladies you can't come to TRUCK festival, why don't you try the OXFORD SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA instead @DexyMusic Sorry ladies you can't come to TRUCK festival, why don't you try LIPSTICK festival or SHOES festival or HAVING A MONTHLY festival @DexyMusic Sorry ladies you can't come to TRUCK festival, why don't you try PERIOD festival insteadThe country I'm from is arrogant, racist, bigoted, outdated, embarrassing and ungrateful and it forcefully stole my… https://t.co/3uuZSV6RexThe last thing I need to see or hear right now is fucking Ann Widdecombe
2/1
2020
A lovely review!! Thank you ❤️🐕 https://t.co/SG4RscHAMhWhat a great day for women in music. https://t.co/MmAoXjg6RfFfs I'm trying to promote an EP as a female DIY artist on the day we leave the EU, please do not make this even har… https://t.co/esMOoi8txLYOUR MOVE, THUNBERG https://t.co/6V6BQGo5PC
Retweeted by Captain Handsome 🇪🇺 @KeithTotp @gdpreston @fightmilkband @SLIMECITYmusic Just nineteen In a tagine I guess I thought it had a flavour @gdpreston @fightmilkband @SLIMECITYmusic If anyone's likely to have a cauliflower story as good as mine, it's Slime City @charleston51 Hey thanksI did my top ten favourite animal songs and variations on 'i like this, it is good' aside, this is why I shouldn't… https://t.co/q5vUIZexY7
1/31
2020

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