Sign in with Twitter

Username:

Kitty Brat @katbuble Alberta, Canada

🍁 wife, mom, She/Her, bi, nerd, avid reader, cat enthusiast, Go Packers, any typos are a direct result of tweeting while holding a child.

1,726 Following   3,811 Followers   5,628 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/19/11


@shepoy1967 😂😘Henchman: he’s bound Villain: who’s bound? Henchman: James bound
Retweeted by Kitty Brat
1/24
2021
Make courting cool again
Retweeted by Kitty BratCould be us but you playin. https://t.co/mwLTDDxc49
Retweeted by Kitty Brat @shepoy1967 This is my favourite tweet today. @contradiction70 ❤❤OH so EVERYBODY ELSE can be half-dressed for zoom calls, but WHEN I DO IT it's "inappropriate" and "put your fuckin… https://t.co/7xwEpAXSKC
Retweeted by Kitty Brat @contradiction70 I can cry for you. Until then https://t.co/E9iVGfOJgY @TwinzerDad Friend💜💜 https://t.co/8SRyHOJyVq*in bed* Wife: *puts her hand on my hip* hey baby Me: *excitedly* yes? Wife: roll over on your side so your snor… https://t.co/uZj3Dupax7
Retweeted by Kitty BratFresh sheet sleeps cannot be beat.
Retweeted by Kitty BratFrankie went to Hollywood after she divorced him for telling her to relax.
Retweeted by Kitty BratSaturday’s are not meant for adulting.
Retweeted by Kitty BratSo I NEVER wrote a book. But if I did, it would definitely be titled “Successfully Adulting...And Other Lies I Tell Myself...”
Retweeted by Kitty BratSTOP SHAMING NEW PARENTS FOR WORRYING ABOUT THINGS YOU WORRIED ABOUT WHEN YOU WERE A NEW PARENT YOURSELF. ITS THE… https://t.co/7i3HXmexHj
Retweeted by Kitty BratWhy "snowing" and not "winter is cumming?"
Retweeted by Kitty BratMy sister started making chocolate chip cookies in her Easy Bake Oven in 1980. They’re finally ready.
Retweeted by Kitty Brat @Vhalechark Sigh...CanadaGirl you so extra...high maintenance.
Retweeted by Kitty Brathttps://t.co/kVAlOk7muK
Retweeted by Kitty BratTitty fuck? You mean spermin' down the blouse.
Retweeted by Kitty Brat
1/23
2021
@usedtobefrench Thank you so much💜💜 @JustinCaseyD 😊❤ @TheBratOGEyEZ 😘💖 @TwinzerDad @greeneyed_meg @mommameetsworld @MichaelMarcinko @LittleVodkaOwl @KCarib @LizerReal @GayDeceiverhttps://t.co/9V5NI8y1bt @krisk2291 Thank you😊 @BuckUpBits https://t.co/KoviUsyAS4 @shepoy1967 😘😘 @RickGregson007 Ty💜💜 @TheWrightNate No. Next question😏 @JeremySneddon2 Thank you Jeremy 💜#NewProfliePic https://t.co/c1xajLjjhe @perlhack Oofff I feel thisme *lives alone, uses same coffee mug every day* also me: *has 260 other coffee mugs* again, me: *favorite mug brea… https://t.co/gBorQDgRSz
Retweeted by Kitty Bratdavy jones’ why i don’t look locker in my wife’s purse 🤝 dead men tell no tales
Retweeted by Kitty BratSlept in a tank top last night; still can’t find my left boob.
Retweeted by Kitty BratYou're just like an avocado. Beautiful and ripe one day. Rotten the next.
Retweeted by Kitty BratDevil's advocate: challenging arguments until they're ripe Devil's avocado: challenging your patience by never being ripe
Retweeted by Kitty Bratbroken, but in a deceivingly functional kind of way
Retweeted by Kitty Brat @Ace77ofnocal 💜💜💜 @akathehuss @emily_tweets Douchebag. See look, I can name call random strangers too. @yourperson22 *not you
1/22
2021
time is a flat circle, but so are tortillas, and you don't see *them* being all mysterious about it
Retweeted by Kitty BratUsing commas correctly makes you sound like less of a serial killer.
Retweeted by Kitty BratAllen: I'll never talk Me: *selecting an allen key from my torture tools* we'll see about that
Retweeted by Kitty Brat“Men’s greatest weakness is their facade of strength, and women’s greatest strength is their facade of weakness.”… https://t.co/wOg3fdyFWX
Retweeted by Kitty BratLearn the difference between being respected and tolerated.
Retweeted by Kitty Bratpeople who say "FriYay" need a kick in the vajayyay or testiclyays
Retweeted by Kitty BratMy husband leaves his weekday alarms on on the weekend and I’m pretty sure that’s grounds for divorce
Retweeted by Kitty BratKeep apologizing, I'm almost there. - Canadians sextingI love how people talk about other people's behaviour and are so oblivious to their own.
Retweeted by Kitty BratBREAKING: Biden appoints Obama as head of new Dept of Taking People's Guns
Retweeted by Kitty BratThat was the longest episode of The Apprentice ever.
Retweeted by Kitty Bratyour voice touches places out of reach
Retweeted by Kitty BratCan’t. Busy being an infinitesimal speck in this universe.
Retweeted by Kitty Brat
1/21
2021
MGK is just spicy Bieber
Retweeted by Kitty BratDoes anyone actually like jokes?
Retweeted by Kitty BratDear men, Maybe if you made her feel more safe and secure she would do that thing you like
Retweeted by Kitty BratMy wife when I won't let her touch the thermostat https://t.co/dnxf2OK5yp
Retweeted by Kitty Bratwonder how many times Indiana Jones thought his own whip was a snake
Retweeted by Kitty BratFlorida should be an island and only accessible by ancient ferryman
Retweeted by Kitty Brat @mistrustme1 😊Seduce me motherfucker
Retweeted by Kitty BratConsent: making a difference in interpersonal relations since the dawn of time. Credit: @katbuble https://t.co/bkWl0N37bK
Retweeted by Kitty Brather body heavenly lyrics she likes you to sing in a filthy key
Retweeted by Kitty BratDentists are really just salons for teeth
Retweeted by Kitty BratWho called it “being the queen bee on instagram” instead of “thot leadership”?
Retweeted by Kitty Brat @CCRuns Congrats my most beautiful friend💜💜 https://t.co/xelgpzGMmgBaby carrots imply the existence of carrot sex, and now I'm never looking into the crisper drawer again.
Retweeted by Kitty BratUsing a carrot as a butt plug is called a “what’s up, doc?”
Retweeted by Kitty BratFind a guy who’ll spend the evening rubbing your feet and drinking wine with you Then give him my number
Retweeted by Kitty Bratwhat is a tarnation and why is everyone always worried things are in it
Retweeted by Kitty Brat
1/20
2021
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is heavy while the other is a little lighter.
Retweeted by Kitty Bratimagine meeting your soulmate and before every sexual encounter they said pack it up pack it in let me begin
Retweeted by Kitty Bratur short on time huh? i'm pretty sure u mean ur little people on time educate urself
Retweeted by Kitty Brat @PunmasterP 🤣🤣If someone tells you leggings aren’t real pants, stop talking to them. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
Retweeted by Kitty BratAmericans often mock Canada’s military, but we, as a nation, better utilized the budget developing the technology to put milk in bags.
Retweeted by Kitty BratI'm at my most CSI when examining the background of your pics.
Retweeted by Kitty BratIf he doesn’t fold you in half like a calzone, what’s the fucking point?
Retweeted by Kitty BratThat feeling of relief when you realize the hair in your food is still attached to your head
Retweeted by Kitty BratThe intensity of people's hate is inversely proportional to their intelligence
Retweeted by Kitty Bratmy nudist neighbours are moving away and selling everything and I'm thinking the washer and dryer will be worth a look
Retweeted by Kitty Brat @FeralFerrell I love you, all the parts of you and your messes💜Does the L in MILF stand for live, laugh or love?
Retweeted by Kitty Brat
1/19
2021
If by TC you mean Totally Crazy, then yes I know what it's like to be a TC.
Retweeted by Kitty BratGod: I’ll give you swagger Bird: and? God: I dunno, a big colorful tail Bird: And??? God: Fine, a silly name P… https://t.co/fZJZOwBK1H
Retweeted by Kitty BratA male turkey is called a Tom. A female turkey is called a Jenny. And a baby turkey is called an Oh Shit. That's pretty universal.
Retweeted by Kitty Brat @yourperson22 https://t.co/OfOFAKVflRI’d rather a dick pic than a poem.
Retweeted by Kitty Brati admit it this is my first rodeo
Retweeted by Kitty BratWho called it “doomscrolling instagram” instead of “being lost in thot”
Retweeted by Kitty Bratif he doesn’t let his foods touch, he won’t do that thing you like
Retweeted by Kitty Brat @AltVeruca Get off of me, I'm busy!who called it an ex instead of a "significan't other"?
Retweeted by Kitty BratIt’s Monday morning...your TC is at her mom’s bible study group.
Retweeted by Kitty BratAnimals interrupting wildlife photographers. A thread: 1. 📸 Dan Dinu https://t.co/FYfohHAucq
Retweeted by Kitty BratHappiness is an imaginative construct created by beer companies and Hallmark.
Retweeted by Kitty Brat[crime scene] Cop: and the body was found right over here Ace Ventura: looks like someone *winks at camera* murdered this pussy
Retweeted by Kitty Brat
1/18
2021
Love fades. Exes are forever.
Retweeted by Kitty Brat
1/17
2021

0