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English PhD | 17th century English lit/history | Accomplished Yeller

732 Following   1,893 Followers   45,438 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/26/09


Just can’t believe the drumming prodigy from Love Actually ended up becoming a chess prodigy. Never saw it coming.Tim pointed out that the mom from A Nightmare on Elm Street is basically Sexy Squidward and I’m having trouble NOT… https://t.co/6ZNIyGwCZs @brenface To be fair, Edgar is the most temperamental cat I’ve ever met. @winnerbowzer @caerickson PFF, I don’t care if you reply! Your Taco Bell takes are of paramount importance to me ❤️ @winnerbowzer @caerickson JEALOUS!! @caerickson My Taco Bell orders are almost always just a metric fuck ton of their basic beef hard shell tacos becau… https://t.co/9lBbzkEu8L @laurenapolis Overcooking is definitely possible! Stick them in the fridge, then when you’re ready pop them under t… https://t.co/cpUkOSXDxm
10/29
2020
It’s still patio season. https://t.co/wqErsBJmBFJust received all my files today. The relief I feel at not having to redo dozens of hours of work is INTENSE. Doesn… https://t.co/jhumfZzlcGI had clearly failed to retrieve them from the work laptop on which I'd written them before I was laid off back in… https://t.co/l1PWLK6oY6Small but significant win this week: I finally returned to a chapter I'm supposed to be writing after a long quaran… https://t.co/1BklAq68za @Bafflegabs god DAMNIT I didn't see you'd just RTed this! @susie_dent @Bafflegabs.@citypages let me write about @alyankovic not once, not twice, but THREE times in the last five years. They were a… https://t.co/TVIRIFzG2O @shayesisneros @timtimtimtimtim @jessiesisneros And this one includes Mayo and ketchup which is basically British ranch dressing. @timtimtimtimtim Somehow this surpasses the chaotic energy of the classic Sisneros Sister Slop: meatloaf, mashed po… https://t.co/KXHBCUOuKj @bodicegoddess Oh I am already THERE. I just wish I’d avoided show spoilers in the process of googling :( @RepMattGaetz oof Matt why are you such a fricken dumb asshole
10/28
2020
Here I go, only nine episodes into Avatar: The Last Airbender, googling Appa the flying bison like a DAMN FOOL. https://t.co/0mp6i6l791 @llamarock8 And they’re more flavorful soaked in milk! @llamarock8 This is how I feel about Golden Grahams.FWIW my comments about what corporate is going to do about it come from the sick employee and what they were told,… https://t.co/HbemG7iueaIdk if Nebraska bars and restaurants are even doing any sort of rudimentary contact tracing, I kinda bet not, so ju… https://t.co/punEzied7cAs of now apparently corporate doesn’t plan to do anything with that information, “waiting to see” what happens, on… https://t.co/uecPgffcCfNebraska: I have it on first-hand authority that if you dined at the Old Chicago at Southpointe last weekend (Frida… https://t.co/c0Rpsmsr6R @bryanische they're the bouncy castle of logos. @joshnorthsouth @punsultant EYYYYY BUDDYYYYYY @joshnorthsouth @punsultant Please don’t google the Truck Driving Song. @punsultant @joshnorthsouth Plus I mean cmon I do love singing “do you recall when the brawl became a total free-fo… https://t.co/4LXzoLsYPF @punsultant @joshnorthsouth AGGRESSIVELY problematic. I tell myself it's because Jerry Springer was itself aggressi… https://t.co/aPdBBR0l0J @joshnorthsouth Me too except the Weird Al parody of it. @_omgigi_ Can I wear it as like an announcement because I would.
10/27
2020
Pssssst I’m hosting this you should sign up! https://t.co/87gOPUr1iQ
10/26
2020
@ohseanofnoise Sean this movie is ENORMOUSLY important to me.I’d be happy if winter stayed just like this. https://t.co/baxbtQv7vB
10/25
2020
@JoshDCarson @PFTompkins What a blessed event that was! Paul is SO LUCKY he got to hang out with us briefly.Our serrano pepper plant didn’t yield much but it was enough for @timtimtimtimtim to whip up a bottle o’ hot sauce! https://t.co/TMz3h0xNwJ @hellodonavon Is...is this a porno?
10/24
2020
Everybody take a time out for a hot sec and wish my fave @alyankovic a happy birthday! ❤️🎂🙌🏻 @PFTompkins @ScottAukerman @laurenlapkus @earwolf Paul it kinda looks like you just finished a KFC Famous Bowl. @pattonoswalt @EarthAcolytes @IlhanMN Excellent sleuthing Nancy Drew you sure got ‘em I mean how could we ever forget that unforg… https://t.co/HQ3k9zwalb @EarthAcolytes @IlhanMN He’s not getting dementia please for the love of All Fucks On High stop regurgitating fake… https://t.co/TXnXsxV6ul @EarthAcolytes @IlhanMN Read about his stutter you fucking pudding cup brain, sutterers work for years to train the… https://t.co/L9Kxcx7cO3 @EarthAcolytes @BigPert3 @IlhanMN Ah yes excellent let’s compare trump’s single-neuron brain to Biden’s actual real… https://t.co/TG7eZWxxPi @__MoBlack @EarthAcolytes @IlhanMN I also love this one from the Atlantic. Great story. https://t.co/JYCAhqQBY7 @EarthAcolytes @IlhanMN Biden was born in 1942 ya dingus how likely do you think it is there’s ample home video of a kid born during WWII @bendhicks @EarthAcolytes @IlhanMN Interesting stupid theory but no it isn’t. @EarthAcolytes @IlhanMN But it is tho, you dumb butthole..@brenface captured a tender dog-owner moment on Zoom wherein I appear to be about to eat Henry with my gaping chin… https://t.co/tvyDPu5Isn @absolutbottom I mean you literally can't fuck it up cuz you're gonna hand blend it all, it's just a matter of gett… https://t.co/B2SSROAfP0 @absolutbottom It was my first time doing it, no clue if I did it "right," all it said was to make the chunks small… https://t.co/93DiQe2ycZ @absolutbottom cook all that stuff in there covered for, idk, 45 mins or so? til the tates are soft. Oh salt those… https://t.co/njbTYJQDl3 @absolutbottom I whipped up a super easy leek and potato soup the other day that was dope. Wad of leeks, chop those… https://t.co/kbgy0ekPOM @john_overholt I...I always thought they were saying "howdy in the street," as in they're saying howdy to everybody… https://t.co/mJjQzeChNn @benshapiro Performed like what, a petulant moron? Gosh idk. Hard to say.“I am the least racist person in this room.” - Trump, in the bathroom, talking to the massive Big Mac shit he just… https://t.co/mGZGmOThmq @mikefotis He’s playing an extremely intense game of invisible cat’s cradle with himself. @BigBrainzCreate Lol EXACTLY. @govkristinoem Aahhh yes right because as we all know, common courtesy is among the COVID viruses weaknesses.
10/23
2020
TOME*. I’m not deleting it.I’m 57 pages into @AllieBrosh’s new book and I’m already sobbing laughing at a drawing of a horse, thank GOD there’… https://t.co/FMZ83sGCOZhttps://t.co/Xwm7pXgmQe https://t.co/0u06rYzUNYJoke’s on you jerks, I haven’t even *seen* the sky today. @leckybang Barely. @leckybang I once iced my sister a few yrs ago Xmas by wrapping a bottle in the biggest box we had in the house and… https://t.co/dpMeyDP3Z6 @kennethbayliss Um, THOSE are brilliant. Wow. What a beautiful set!
10/22
2020
@_omgigi_ @TeenageStepdad @timtimtimtimtim this is amazing. @parabasis GODDAMNIT. @brenface I am infinitely more inclined to believe in an afterlife multiplex than a benevolent omnipotent deity. @brenface True, in which case I will refrain from reminding you that god doesn’t exist! 🙃 @brenface Surely that’s not too much to ask :) @brenface OoOooOOoooh!!! I like! @darkingsrock This checks out. @iamadot DIA THE HAM!! 🥪I hope when I die God will crunch the numbers for me on how many hours I spent staring at my dog and sighing contentedly. @jgfagerberg Problem is now I can’t NOT see her as that precocious little neighbor kid! @jgfagerberg Couldn’t place why I recognized her for the longest time then it hit me smack in the face that she was… https://t.co/0ATgPUlqDw @ramoss Hahaha. Yeah, it’s already begun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
10/21
2020
@brenface @jerbacher Yesssssss. @WilliamBitzenho Good thing I’m not doing that! @jerbacher Prettyyyy! Go jump in it!I think it’s pretty. https://t.co/MnOTZWRkXM @wallacefoto Excellent idea! Mosses looks so nice! @johnmoe Oh my god, The Cheat. @andreawaves Love that idea! @lizzie_b https://t.co/lBzO5fOpuqYep sure can, Rochester, Bemidji, Milwaukee, Iowa, Mordor, Smallville, McDonaldland, Mexico City, Tatooine, P. Sher… https://t.co/bDPNMLGVDbUpdate: ok I did it I can lay down now. https://t.co/bt7FxSy3R4 @llamarock8 I mean, if the purpose is security then I suppose the weirder the better!Clearly I was closer to the 11 hour than the 12 hour when I began standing here next to my bed without clothes on,… https://t.co/dfu9D5rEqn @ForkKnifeSpoon Currently ordering weird plant light thingies and aromatherapy candles and new towel sets because I… https://t.co/NypuKA5FWmOnly an eensy weensy bit concerned that my coping mechanism this winter is going to be buying myself things on the internet. @nickcostduh @brenface Bren just wanted to force us to give her good spooky pun names, which was an absolutely bril… https://t.co/ikilyScmhW @cterhark @ForkKnifeSpoon “If you like it you should do it.” -Chuck, a guy who just bought a pair of crocs. @cterhark @ForkKnifeSpoon Question: are you adorning your crocs with charms? I hear that’s a thing. @ForkKnifeSpoon Yeeeeah, I know but our sunlight is so bad and I wonder if just having some fakey succulents might… https://t.co/DZsD3ABTWA @iamadot I’d love to get that from you this week! Maybe Wednesday depending on how bad the snow gets tomorrow. I ca… https://t.co/P0wpWePfh4 @iamadot Should I get a pot for it first?! How big a pot does it need?? Does it get big enough to be a floor plant?… https://t.co/5jVCsUCXvA @iamadot I’d love some monstera! Apparently it’s pretty good in medium to low light too. I’m not greeeeeeat at plan… https://t.co/STkLzUrlMv @iamadot I have been researching plant lights too!
10/20
2020

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