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mark @kept_simple durham, nc

laws aren't real

917 Following   21,447 Followers   16,213 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/4/11


layla is a good song only in the context of goodfellas @thetomzone what about neutral energy @snackvampire @onesarahjones @Cato_of_Utica dore tweet from a couple hours agoi can't believe i, a guy who is definitely not a vain idiot, was successfully manipulated by a far right activist🤡🤡🤡 https://t.co/0cjXjyNiH5 @RaxKingIsDead we all slowly become a guy who says what other things an actor was in when he appears on screen @blood_slushie another great moment for lawyers
1/25
2021
@tuolbridge @nataliesurely lol no that's not really the point at all. obviously it's an absurd standard that these… https://t.co/gvZLU2V2dM @nataliesurely not a standard I would choose to live by but hey they made the rules not me @nataliesurely one of the central points of cancel culture true believers in that harsh public criticism is tantamo… https://t.co/DpiUPWnFy0you can't even talk about the first amendment anymore because the public debate is entirely focused on the right to… https://t.co/o6fitQbXZwit's a shame that conservative elites and idw dweebs have completely distorted the meaning of free speech for their… https://t.co/ZFki2uaICY @FL0RENT1NOARIZA @nataliesurely he calls criticism cancel culture all the time. that's the point dummy. @nataliesurely i mean he's certainly part of the circus that went nuts about that tweet. I think it was a bad tweet… https://t.co/0FWtRYrhD4 @ParSpec dudes rock @banalplay he also used to argue that media personalities who were on the wrong side of major issues should be drum… https://t.co/mKBYzzHKMd @isaiah_bb @LizardRumsfeld I haven't seen either but I trust the better leftist (peter) @jaynooch both gorillas and crocodilians have proportionally small penises. ultraman would put them to shame. @itsbedtime_ wouldn't make any sense narratively but it would be great fan service @itsbedtime_ filip sneaks up on him while he's applying his eyelinerslowly being driven insane by the jenny craig commercial where a masked woman walks into the salon but then as all… https://t.co/TPJnn9oCNLi tried watching the mandalorian but the first episode was just a bunch of aimless scenes strung together. does it get any more cogent? @bad_takes had to have been ben smith
1/24
2021
cute that everyone is finally realizing the federalist society is basically a long fascist plotting organization ev… https://t.co/9XNDn8e3Em
Retweeted by markWho ever invented the bathroom plunger deserves a medal… #ItsMy2Cents
Retweeted by mark @mags_mclaugh i say he should go for itif a sniper shot me i owuld run over to where he is and kick the gun out of his hand and kill him because hes not specialized in melee fight
Retweeted by markwho is the audience supposed to be for embarrassing tough guy acts like this https://t.co/9zXcL1gkUd @moleburps there isn't a person alive who thinks you're a tough guy @moleburps you would have been on your knees screaming like a baby @_FleerUltra ghostrunnerdownloaded a game last night without realizing it is laughably hard and I'm wondering if I should keep playing it as a bitdon't really know else what might explain it. it's a transparently silly take, especially from terminally online pe… https://t.co/XzcxnaHSDAmy guess is that a lot of the "capitol riot was no big deal" takes are being driven by people who don't want to bel… https://t.co/gogeiVr9GV
1/23
2021
@humidhollow any time this guy pops up he's whining about something @hello__caitlin men will literally put their empty soda can in a stranger's trash bin instead of going to therapy @RaxKingIsDead i'm just following the sciencemike lindell must be a great lay @DavidKlion have you considered it's ok to go on fox if you're challenging them? I mean, that's not what glenn is d… https://t.co/KM4HLFIlMithe prevalence of bernie cringeposting should logically lead to a cringeposting detente but that seems unlikely
1/22
2021
seeing a lot of new paper product brands in the pandemic but there's something disturbing about this one https://t.co/Bezvrg7Vf0 @BuzzfeedGDebord yeah and I think you have to be a legend in your own mind if you think that you're boldly challeng… https://t.co/TygS5YEUPP @BuzzfeedGDebord i just really wonder what kind of environment someone is living in where they think "the far right… https://t.co/Xg57rgNRrJ @BuzzfeedGDebord there's something fascinating about random twitter users who manage to develop tom friedman brain on their own time @sadpoastingusa isn't it true when you're talking about the mainstream discourse? media basically dropped it after… https://t.co/k7l4CI558O @coopercooperco they can do whatever they want now. it's either this or whatever the troy mcclure-esque movie of th… https://t.co/l8qrR9XMY2i keep wondering if a secondary effect of actual fraud cases like this will be false accusations of fraud against "… https://t.co/7A34udGvqR @Mobute dude is built like earl sinclair @kept_simple https://t.co/m5artawWRQ
Retweeted by mark @dan_fic google itwhere the hell are the singing cats
1/21
2021
@jfruh I think the latter. like when he just says "cyber" @jfruh never seen this before but it's perfect @kept_simple https://t.co/yWSHjGGbUb
Retweeted by mark @bobo_the_second i think he got bored with the wall after everyone told him they couldn't make it do sci fi shit @kept_simple https://t.co/S3Ld81Jpw8
Retweeted by mark @bobo_the_second my god the reason he gavemany great replies to this @OsitaNwanevu lol @kept_simple https://t.co/v4DsUxH5rG
Retweeted by mark @bobo_the_second lol i don't remember this at all @cd_hooks this moment put to rest any question of what white evangelical voters are really looking for in a president @kept_simple When he suggested Seoul should just move away from the North Korean border https://t.co/PSZtY2FkUm
Retweeted by mark @AliceAvizandum yeah i remember for a moment it actually seemed like it was working. sort of the mirror image of his iran policy. @kept_simple frivolous answer: https://t.co/yQZ5hiQrGl
Retweeted by mark @kept_simple fighting with the vietnam vets over whether napalm or agent orange is used in the ride of the valkyrie… https://t.co/VYo5IvX75s
Retweeted by mark @arb an important aspect of the trump presidency is that he wanted to make sci-fi real @_grendan i would never forget @kept_simple when he kept talking about how they drop bowling balls on cars to test them in japan and no one could… https://t.co/2legYY3xde
Retweeted by mark @kept_simple https://t.co/f0q3vRTDt2
Retweeted by markwhat's a dumb trump moment that you remember that many of us may have forgotten? @wexler this is anecdotal but i encountered people who didn't know it was his actual account until some time after… https://t.co/pAPHBbCMAl @swolecialism @realfancylawyer @AthertonKD dude just loves graft in a nonpartisan wayi'm not an in awe of the obamas guy but michelle looks great @rebekahentralgo president thomas friedman columncan i still donate to the be best foundationhttps://t.co/niw8ifYEwU
Retweeted by markmaybe you can sell biden on socialism if you pitch it in the context of irish nationalism @eatinginmycar this is anti catholic racismtrump pardoned exactly who he wanted to pardon. he didn't pardon snowden because he doesn't care about him and neit… https://t.co/U0ALZPiKLD @theAntiBinge @mtracey if i turned out to be wrong about everything i would simply not take a victory lap @mtracey he had his supporters storm the capitol mikeHas any other president come close to doing anything this insane https://t.co/VY5jNt75Te
Retweeted by mark
1/20
2021
@grabmybuttsticc no respect for bongino's facebook numbers from a twitter-biased panel @grabmybuttsticc really think bongino should be higher @thesixseas plus they are enchanted by the coupon @karengeier joel mchale has the best plugs in the biz @Bowsnonk he has responded to complaints in the same way that he has responded to criticism of his false statements about the election @ParSpec if he can cure covid certainly he can invent the perfect pillowthe one thing this guy figured out is that people are desperate enough for a good night's sleep that they'll drop $… https://t.co/UdARntMWo6the thing about mypillow is that it's just a poor quality shredded memory foam pillow @NBCNews Outstanding end to this story https://t.co/xRJ0PDd3Q1
Retweeted by mark @SecPompeo thank you sir. i can feel our national will triumphing already. @banalplay congrats on paying off your tesla queen @_pem_pem i'm over 35 and don't have a printer, but i've been mulling over getting onefinally the incredibly dumb "will trump do some woke pardons" discourse is coming to a close
1/19
2021
come for the ambiguous headline, stay for the article that doesn't even mention desantis' false character assassina… https://t.co/YzLSfrv0Wuthe libs want a $15 minimum wage in all 57 statesConcerns about outdoor transmission risk seem to be trending again. What is the risk of transmission outdoors and s… https://t.co/FK92O1IWOY
Retweeted by mark @eccommunist @Pliny_theElder @JoeBiden if i had room i'd think about getting all that
1/18
2021

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