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I go to seminary and I eat guacamole. she/her/hers

246 Following   406 Followers   44,186 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/21/10


I can’t believe we have to wait until March for those damn potatoes @_emiicakes The relationships on that show are always so toxic it breaks my heart.“And we baptized him in a massive vagina-shaped font.” Seminary is something else.Exciting news my mom hugged me today
1/15
2021
I’m living for saltines lately which is so dumb
1/14
2021
Holding out for a meet cute when I get vaccinated
Retweeted by Katie ButlerDonald Trump is now the only President of the United States to be impeached twice. With 10 Republicans joining in,… https://t.co/EDEUp1kQBj
Retweeted by Katie ButlerDoes anyone else get super anxious when someone starts breaking up on zoomMy body is already starting to crumble. 26 will be the year the lord calls me home.
1/13
2021
So for this class we have to sign up for at least two one-on-ones with the prof for any questions, etc. and I have… https://t.co/KT5yJXNmum @CJtheRed75 A definite no.Learning this much is honestly exhausting lolLife tip: always put on your Apple Watch/Fitbit before you put on your leather pants. Those calories deserve recognition.
1/11
2021
A genuinely cant believe this is real https://t.co/ltt5WpmwLZ
Retweeted by Katie Butler
1/10
2021
There is no stroke of fear quite like when you feel a sneeze coming on immediately after applying mascara @bickynates I think about him all the time. Like actually.Man it’s like Henry has to be fed every single day it never endsOkay this is the only time this account has ever actually been funny https://t.co/5suCjN1WCbI’m probably gonna miss Alex Trebek for the rest of my life.
1/9
2021
@jmurffff Ugh too real @nickelm10 LMAO I JUST said to my mom “she’s giving a sermon”The fact that there are senators that have decided to no longer oppose the electoral votes after trump’s behavior t… https://t.co/5zQinhgfWvThis happened on Epiphany. Indeed, a light is shining on us and revealing who we are. I hope folks get it now.
Retweeted by Katie Butler
1/7
2021
There’s a congressman on NBC saying “we’ve never seen this from Trump supporters before” LMAOOOOOh my god 😭😭😭😭 https://t.co/B7peZ2u7SHKaepernick: *kneels quietly* Trump: “Get that son of a bitch off the field.” MAGA: *breaks window on Captiol Buil… https://t.co/I0rJEE9Tyq
Retweeted by Katie Butler @bickynates Is both an option? That sounds like a perfect night. @KVVanney ❤️"Blue Lives Matter" only ever meant Black lives don't.
Retweeted by Katie ButlerThis aged well https://t.co/3D0PBJ4Gin
Retweeted by Katie ButlerWhy y’all keep asking where the police at? Y’all ask where Miley’s at when Hannah’s on stage?
Retweeted by Katie ButlerDude said please for the first time in his life 😭😭😭 https://t.co/bERbCtjP6HMAGA is literally trying to break into the U.S. Capitol and they’re still being treated better than non-violent BLM protesters
Retweeted by Katie Butler @kboris_mccarthy My hero 😍Hi pastors can anyone sneak me into Sunday and seasons lol
1/6
2021
Me trying to get everyone to stay off the wifi so I don’t get kicked out of zoom for the millionth time https://t.co/0bvhFfMlOhShe does have a second daughter, yes.I am my mom’s only Facebook friend. She said she doesn’t want other people to feel “too special”I want a vanilla milkshake so bad rn
1/5
2021
Do they always pray? Is this normal? I thought there was supposed to be a separation of church and state?? I’m genu… https://t.co/r49L4u9ajUHad fish stew for the first time tonight. Turns out I do not like fish stew.
1/4
2021
I just want this nightmare to be over. https://t.co/oZyFAmIH6L @moll_doll2 Go off queenThis break flew by wym I got class tomorrow https://t.co/yg5wc8khCl
1/3
2021
@CJtheRed75 This year they get a baby AND my chicken. Seems greedy but ok.Forgot my leftovers in Kristin and Nicole’s fridge 2021 is off to a horrific start.In 2021 I’m just gonna start buying veggie trays just for me. The cashier doesn’t ask if you’re having a party. The… https://t.co/klb6UGQqAO
1/1
2020
You remember a few months ago when people started making those memes about us counting down to midnight on NYE and… https://t.co/upqpml3Mdb
12/31
2020
I love it when I reach my move goal while I’m eating. I giveth, I taketh away. @CJtheRed75 Why can’t they let us enjoy our break 😭😭😭heard the government is putting chips in ppl... hope i get takis
Retweeted by Katie ButlerOmg no offense to me but I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get all this reading done by Monday @kboris_mccarthy YES THE DONUTSIt’s crazy to me that people take their Christmas stuff down before New Years. I can’t imagine celebrating on New Y… https://t.co/m2s10tfhrQ
12/30
2020
Why did I sign up for a J Term class that involves spending time outside in January i am anemic.But I’ve never gotten a 4.0 before so I will let myself have this moment.I accidentally took all my classes pass/fail except for ONE meaning my GPA for the semester was relying on that one… https://t.co/Mh9jr1t5JxDoes a campus ministry group count? I have been kicked out of that. https://t.co/NX8sqxbIXiI can’t believe it. Aly & AJ just saved 2020. https://t.co/bxj04xMQVx
12/29
2020
Wait it turns out I’m hot?????? Excellent news! https://t.co/5DEJL1TDcTGetting money as a gift isn’t my favorite because I feel like I need to be responsible with it.
12/28
2020
My mom has been watching true crime shows all day and she just said “I wish they would do one on a cold case so I c… https://t.co/5OAbsA5Xzp
12/26
2020
Ur productivity is NOT linked to your worth. 💕💕💕💕 Mine is though and I am worthless
Retweeted by Katie Butler @kboris_mccarthy Imagine every Christmas after this one when there’s a baby so excited that Santa came I am unwell 😭😭😭My thoughts waking up this morning, in order: “Wow I slept so good” “It is Kristin’s birthday. Also Jesus.” “Why d… https://t.co/3AYe6dTJPpTonight’s goals: Sleep more than one hour Don’t puke. #lfg
12/25
2020
Ew I feel way too exposed rn https://t.co/jH9KfguHzU @katetoporski Go to bed Kate Toporski! @CJtheRed75 Me rnA fun fact about me is that I puke so often I sleep with a barf bucket next to my bed every night just in case.This is me af https://t.co/oioR8TxRPE
12/24
2020
Omg someone take my phone away @backtrvck https://t.co/47DnlJAjYM @hmbrown1994 Fine you have to flirt with me then @hmbrown1994 I need attentionPeople keep sending this to me lol. Why does he still have a double toe when I (probably) don’t? Why can he do Russ… https://t.co/UD9RICROVzAm I bored enough to download a dating app
12/23
2020
Henry has gained half a pound since we moved into his Grandma’s house. Probably because she gives him a treat every… https://t.co/J8bfl2vJISI really miss singing @kateedwina @1followernodad I literally read this tweet and instantly put it on. When the chorus comes in on “and h… https://t.co/ZiATyPd5dO @kboris_mccarthy I seriously doubt you have either of them but I’m about to text you the titles because I’m not eve… https://t.co/tt2AEvvaj3Literally just got an email from the prof teaching my J Term that said “I don’t wanna burden you with work before t… https://t.co/Qr1ko3KDAuExciting news: my birth control came today!!! Watch out, world! Soon I will be a functioning human again!!!!!!!!!! @bickynates Omg oops????Where did senators go to talk shit about each other before Twitter @alainadulecki Love you! @alainadulecki 78 days!!!! You’re a rockstar! Proud of you always 💕
12/22
2020
The kid in the Nike shirt was everything I needed tonight. https://t.co/oblu0FboGcIn late December of 2018 I ate some jalapeño Mac and cheese. Still missin you.I keep having dreams where everything is normal until I’m suddenly very aware I’m not wearing a mask.
12/21
2020
“O Holy Night” is Christianity’s “Defying Gravity”
Retweeted by Katie ButlerSaturday afternoon: very sad in the shower because I miss @omgcarina
12/19
2020
You know you could actually write my name into “Brandy” by Looking Glass and it’d work just fine!Also I felt very sad when my mailman said “I don’t have your medication yet, Katie. I’m so sorry” as if it’s HIS FAULT I wanted to hug him 😭I have a package that’s been at the Grosse pointe usps facility for 8 days. Like can I just go pick it up?? @kboris_mccarthy I will always accept a hug from you my angel @kboris_mccarthy No! But yours was the first one I had gotten since August when you hugged me!! I still remember it fondly.I don’t think I could ever work a commission-based job I’d literally be crying begging people to buy a used car from me
12/18
2020
@elspethmuzzin ❤️ @illrobURson @aklesage Tru it shall hold me over for the winter months
12/17
2020

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