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Author, mom of 4, lapsed therapist, skilled catastrophizer. | Rage Against the Minivan available now. #blacklivesmatter

480 Following   24,997 Followers   31,165 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/31/09


@Tweettweetter @jeremycowart As a licensed therapist and adoptive parent, I don't feel this way at all. And honestl… https://t.co/T4a9IzGYBF @pamelasm No lies here @CalifManx @inminivanhell https://t.co/KLUni8Cubz
12/4
2020
@nicolenanea OMG yes!! @inminivanhell @VoiceofOC Clear as mudWanted to sneak this in before the election: Starting early next year I’ll be answering questions about race and ra… https://t.co/3QcVpkeSY6
Retweeted by Kristen HowertonMy kids started binging Friends. A couple observations: 1 Ross is a psychopath 2 So many jokes about gay people. Be… https://t.co/1sd5upyXha @sharonvanepps I'd be asking person A to test again.My kids and I want to train to run 10k. Any ideas on an app that can give us a training schedule? Bonus if it track… https://t.co/R6M66qLwrp
12/3
2020
This thread of poll-watchers testifying about "fraud" is hysterical. https://t.co/GNsAywvrQtThere is a Trump vaccine, and America is getting it January 20.
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton"President Trump has discussed with advisers whether to grant pre-emptive pardons to his children, to his son-in-la… https://t.co/CYUhqLdBgw
Retweeted by Kristen HowertonDown By the Creekbank, wearing a slip and pantyhose, going back for Sunday night church, hymn "request night", flan… https://t.co/NLgCoU7tb2
12/2
2020
@babyrabies Same. There is some research that medication can actually create panic in people with anxiety disorders. 😐
12/1
2020
This Is Us but the dad doesn’t die, he just gets super into qanon & it’s called This Is Sus
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton @AllanaHarkin Sure did. I have . . . feelings. @InesD So distractingI watched The Undoing and The Goldfinch this week and I don't want to name names or body-shame other women but at t… https://t.co/d61sAphDVE @WendiAarons Maybe all that forehead filler was leaking into her brain and clouding her judgment. @AllanaHarkin Dammit. I'm 3 episodes in and based on a very short peep at Twitter I think you are right. Better get… https://t.co/21ShiDwfkkIf The Leftovers happened in 2020 it’d be a single episode where everyone just said “It’s only 2% of the population… https://t.co/cp38mXhc6m
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton
11/30
2020
@Luvvie America been the 2020 of countries for a while now, we just didn't know until 2020.
Retweeted by Kristen HowertonOne thing I've learned in 25 years as a foster-adopt mother is it is not biology that makes us love. It is the reco… https://t.co/rztx9zuYuQ
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton
11/28
2020
@JonAcuff December 31 birthday, and yep. My son's birthday is Dec 27th and I give him his birthday gifts in October with his siblings.
11/27
2020
@ElizOverman Tonight was Corpse Bride. Tim Burton seems to be the one unifier in this house. @sethhaines That they aren't really Christians, that they worship false gods (saints) and that they are going to hell. (yes really)One of the things I most enjoy about school holidays with my kids is listening to them fight for an hour about what… https://t.co/nvHyWo2IDc
11/26
2020
@iproposethis It’s pretty endearing! @TinaNoir Right? So underwhelming.
11/25
2020
@drjjacobs But saying "the armpit of Orlando" would have put me over the word limit . . .
11/24
2020
@WendiAarons I’m here for the Sam’s Club vaccineCheaper Orlando https://t.co/8yPCrJc3Rt
11/23
2020
Trump persuaded his evangelicals to disregard the coronavirus and made refusing to wear masks a point of pride. Ima… https://t.co/xMyhxQ2J0B
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton @seanfeucht @RollingStone you're not being bold, man. you and your fans are just LARPing as persecuted Christians b… https://t.co/Z9dNQ6yFJw
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11/21
2020
@steveryancarter It's kind of like Cards Against Humanity for the tween set. @steveryancarter It’s not a board game but have you tried Not Parent Approved?We can be BOTH grateful & tired when raising children-- even if we had a hard time adopting/conceiving and feel an… https://t.co/dB1trDd1O3
Retweeted by Kristen Howertonhttps://t.co/S3kFsIRGmi
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton
11/20
2020
My twitter use these days consists of: 1. Getting on to see if Trump is still pretending he won/ruining our democr… https://t.co/nYaveo576z @mikeerre I'm doing this to my muffin top right now!! https://t.co/h61VREYpTm @kristenhowerton Get this on replay, Kristen https://t.co/qAu4c9QDlg
Retweeted by Kristen HowertonThis whole thread. https://t.co/1RVFAcRYjehttps://t.co/KWjgeKlamP https://t.co/03S6w5eyI9A fun game I like to play is to not sleep well and then wonder all day if I've tired from COVID, and then worry abo… https://t.co/XhmEoDzdPpAny other California high school football moms have a read on where CIF rules are going? The whole state is locking… https://t.co/MW2FqO2zCZ
11/19
2020
Here is the demographic breakdown for positive tests reported yesterday in Orange County. Stop letting your kids d… https://t.co/4KJcbX0qK6
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton @RobSchneider So Newsom did a dumb and irresponsible thing, so we should do a dumb and irresponsible thing by openi… https://t.co/0xHKU5Zw90Yes they did. And the fact that the Republican party is just letting it happen should be an affront to anyone who c… https://t.co/Kue5N8XEC9 @TylerHuckabee This is actually scarily close to my own score.Just so we are clear: when we say “Healthcare systems will soon be overwhelmed by the virus” ...by “systems” we mea… https://t.co/xzCElIPkvx
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton @msmayarosas @haleykhorton Wow - that's disappointing. It's still free and easy here in Orange County at our "super… https://t.co/sI5zXv02I5 @lauratremaine I have a lot of friends who have lost parents as well. Parents who should have had another 10-20 yea… https://t.co/GajnVty27j"Children are their own people with their own will," says @kristenhowerton on #talktokids podcast, "they don’t alwa… https://t.co/BizcfWmgfQ
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton @jduffyrice https://t.co/QFOgNUsHL7 @WilliamMatt22 https://t.co/RPS3vN2uzq
11/18
2020
We get the job done. https://t.co/0RWJu9c9CZ
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton
11/17
2020
“A GOP-produced list of allegedly illegal voters in the state of Nevada turned out to be legal voters who were sold… https://t.co/wcE9BLHFze
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton"This is a character test for the Republican party." https://t.co/nltk0gPuFfThe only rigged part of this election is how Trump tried to stop mail-in ballots and destroy the USPS. It didn’t wo… https://t.co/1Fs9Pm3lpH
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton @iproposethis Watching this right now, too. I'm kind of nervous as to whether this will play out with a good storyl… https://t.co/84aaip61zyHey, @jack, serious question: why not ban Trump from Twitter? Everything he tweets now has (well-deserved) warnin… https://t.co/7PwgAg9vQj
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton
11/15
2020
Crowding the #millionmagamarch feed with pancakes is petty goals and reason enough to have pancakes for lunch. https://t.co/V6x2f32Eki @JohnMWMoorlach No. Do not want.Just tried on an old pair of pants, and I refuse to accept the results. Widespread fraud.
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton“I think this is the Golden Age of Disney Channel movies.” - @IndiaHowerton
11/14
2020
Among other things I fault President Trump for pure failure of leadership. We are in the middle of a pandemic and h… https://t.co/lZmi5jjrcF
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton
11/13
2020
@bgg2wl Froyo with granola on top
11/12
2020
Dan Patrick is generously offering a cash reward for reporting voter fraud. So let's make sure he knows about the i… https://t.co/Nya3xUfuFASpanking your kids in 2020 @breemorel I do love that stuff!Smoking hot wives @breemorel exactlywhat's it like to be upset about lockdowns because you haven't just been doing the same thing (nothing) since march?
Retweeted by Kristen HowertonAny herbal tea drinkers out there? I need some new ideas.One-piece swimsuits @briangaar This one thoMarriage conferences @JenniClaar Every time I see people in close conversation at Starbucks I think, "accountability time!"DollywoodGuys in skinny jeans and deep-V t-shirtsBoho fedorasWhat’s something that ISN’T Christian but FEELS Christian to you?Trump is successfully doing what the Russians have tried but failed to do: cast doubt on American democracy and des… https://t.co/GXGLVQscDs
Retweeted by Kristen HowertonHow come Catfish was a show for like a decade, but people believe Q is some real mastermind.
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton"Don't worry, the GOP will never pick Trump..." "Don't worry, Trump will never become president..." "Don't worry, t… https://t.co/CnLKDu9jpO
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton
11/11
2020
Postal worker featured by Republicans as evidence of vote tampering admits he made it up; GOP donors gave him $130,… https://t.co/S3ajHfup1K
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton @WilliamMatt22 Oh man. I am really sorry. @John_Hudson This is the US Secretary of State endorsing a criminal campaign to corrupt the election. This is a bet… https://t.co/FpRnMFecCT
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton @matthewredrich What's the difference? @Luvvie I haven't . . . I'm skittish about the horror genre as a whole. https://t.co/SwSomawitr @inminivanhell Oh pshaw. Would completely ignore that. Why is a teacher giving grades in kinder at all, much less in a pandemic? @inminivanhell Ugh, so sorry. I have a kid who really struggles in math, too.Talk me out of canceling HBO. I'm not loving anything on there right now.Parler: When Facebook and Twitter won’t let you wear your tinfoil racist trucker hat
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton"A team of international observers invited by the Trump administration has issued a preliminary report giving high… https://t.co/hK6ujfcaju @GloriaFreeborn We did! So fascinatingLast night I dreamed I went to Four Seasons Total Landscaping again.
Retweeted by Kristen Howerton @inminivanhell The good stuff sells out within minutes. Which is why I've sunken to being on their mailing list as… https://t.co/Mo920A5A1A @JonathanMerritt @JenniferCretu Dude it really is. My mom just had to go to the mall. I've got to buy it in 15 minu… https://t.co/VQhu4Q9tB1 @WilliamMatt22 Dreamgirls, Waiting to Exhale, Fences, Blackkklansman
11/10
2020

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