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My new movie The Big Sick is on Amazon, iTunes, Blu ray, all the streamings. Get to it!

3,014 Following   2,853,362 Followers   472 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/2/09


@lindaholmes @mollybackes Wait. Why do you two know each other?
4/20
2019
@markhoppus Have you seen Devil’s Backbone?
4/19
2019
@Scottroby72 Then you’ll be promotedEverybody making a hack “Looks delicious” joke in the comments will be blocked without mercy.Made some new best friends at @TheGentleBarn. https://t.co/N3LUwYvyDcLast day to donate here. Please donate if you can. Otherwise, tell someone who can. Thank you. https://t.co/q5kF28gPL3
4/18
2019
It was a tremendous honor to be able to write about Mirian G. for the @time 100 Most Influential People Of 2019 lis… https://t.co/n0Cv7kFpTMFinally came up with a name for our new store: “Candles And Such.” “Candles” for the scented & decorative candles… https://t.co/dC8OUrYOP7
Retweeted by Kumail Nanjiani @Omundson ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ @Omundson @MichaelAusiello Applauding! Can’t wait to see this! Signed, Your Forever Fan @moryan Whoa I didn’t know this thing had a name. Thanks!
4/17
2019
Only two more days to donate for Give Out Day, a week of LGBT giving that ends on Thursday! We're fundraising in su… https://t.co/C9voqWAmz9
Retweeted by Kumail Nanjiani
4/16
2019
Cersei reaction to no elephants is exactly how I am when Postmates forgets the extra spicy salsa.Game of Thrones Spoiler: Cersei hearts elephants.
4/15
2019
Doing the pre-reading. https://t.co/7Uq6iQw3X4
4/14
2019
@DaveBautista 😘😘😘😘😘Just got my first ever “Go back to your country” in LA! #BeverlyHills
4/13
2019
Kumail and I are fundraising for Give Out Day on behalf of @translifeline! If you give $75 or more you're entered i… https://t.co/pGggXi2Tra
Retweeted by Kumail Nanjiani
4/12
2019
@kristapley I think about this scene every week. And I saw this movie once back when it came out. @kristapley IT IS SO GOOD
4/11
2019
@DaveBautista @TripleH Let me clear this up: that is sheer horror on my face, with a side of hope.
Retweeted by Kumail NanjianiWait! Does that mean @emilyvgordon was cheering for @TripleH ??!! 😠 wtf Em?!! https://t.co/KWpzSB5jQz
Retweeted by Kumail NanjianiThings going well vs things not going well. https://t.co/oIJiX33uSm @bishakali @JamesAcaster @emilyvgordon Everybody knows you do NOT Uber to Jitlada unless you’ve got a high enough c… https://t.co/jrX9y4Vt8C @bishakali @JamesAcaster I will be taking some of the credit here as well. Cc: @emilyvgordonGenuinely upset I didn’t start rewatching Game of Thrones, like, 4 months ago.
4/9
2019
@michaelianblack @DaveBautista It’s a simple issue or demand vs no demandPost fight with @DaveBautista. Amazing guy and an amazing end to an amazing wrestling career. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ https://t.co/Ifqz3RJ6FkHere’s the trailer for @STUBERmovie starring @DaveBautista @nataliemorales @MiraSorvino Betty Gilpin and me! Out Ju… https://t.co/PJULJZzQXh
4/8
2019
The trailer for Stuber is online! Cc: @DaveBautista (you’re in this one.) https://t.co/zsWFWIja5DCc: ⁦@DaveBautista⁩ https://t.co/zdEgqv6g0M
4/7
2019
IF YOU ARE AN AGENT, PLEASE DO NOT TELL YOUR CLIENTS THAT THEY ARE NOT GETTING JOBS BECAUSE THEY ARE WHITE. IT MAKE… https://t.co/8OMKGmJj8V
Retweeted by Kumail Nanjiani
4/5
2019
@kristapley Late, but Seven to Eternity!
4/4
2019
@Aaron_Morgan @clmazin Yes to all this! @clmazin I know right? I never thought I'd see a Joker origin movie. Looks like Falling Down but in Gotham. @themightybfhb Listen I get it. It would be amazing if it was available for free to everybody. Can’t help that. But… https://t.co/efm9j6zAH4
4/3
2019
@jonahray Bro you forgot “punk rock”
4/2
2019
“I hope they don’t ruin The Twilight Zone reboot by making sociopolitical arguments.” - a true Twilight Zone fan @Ibbored @sandrewjeski If I could, I’d want everything I make to be available for free. Truly. I can never control that tho. @Ibbored @sandrewjeski You guys. Read the tweet. It’s free on YouTube. @selashiloni Well finish the episode! Hope you continue to like it!Amazing news. The first episode of The Twilight Zone is FREE on youtube! I'm in this episode and it truly is a drea… https://t.co/p3OZ1ECASg
4/1
2019
@emilyvgordon I saw it and got terrified for you. Whew. @AJemaineClement I heard he made you do it @JamesAcaster @phlaimeaux @MrNishKumar @wkamaubell James I’m really sorry. This got really ugly and I feel I am to… https://t.co/wSRs3tr7Fa @phlaimeaux @MrNishKumar @JamesAcaster @wkamaubell With good reason, if Mr. Cooks is any indicator of their general vibe
3/31
2019
@JamesAcaster @wkamaubell I heard your real name is “Cooks O’Bad.” @sepinwall Rory @PhilRosenthal @theemilywest0 Are you kidding me? I love it! You gotta make more! It’s been too long. I went to Tha… https://t.co/w5B3xZy7YO
3/30
2019
@JamesAcaster My name isn’t Don. It’s Kumail. @rabiasquared There’s a 45 second scene in Chef’s Table where Asma Khan opens up a Biryani pot, mixes it up and ser… https://t.co/s7E7l1j6z7 @JamesAcaster It’s a show for jerks? I guess that explains why you were on it.We have to be living in a golden age of food shows. Ugly Delicious, Chef’s Table, Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat, Great Brit… https://t.co/BLVIZsNLSo
3/29
2019
@kumailn I‘m sorry our stupid, for-profit healthcare system forces me to ask this, but can you RT this for my dad?… https://t.co/Go7FicxerJ
Retweeted by Kumail NanjianiI mean, look how good this looks! https://t.co/v84eYjoCFg
3/28
2019
@chrissyteigen Request for baked “fried” for me pls and thank you @Aaron_Morgan SameAlways a thrill to run into my best bud @JohnTheCho! Here we are equally excited to see each other at The Twilight… https://t.co/IE4EoB4gWs‘This is a warrant.’ ’No it’s not.’ — This citizen stopped ICE from arresting 2 undocumented immigrants because he… https://t.co/HaTdFCfV90
Retweeted by Kumail Nanjiani @VenomVlog @HIDEO_KOJIMA_EN @TheGroveLA Hey buddy sorry I missed you! Just saw this. How’re you doing? @Massawyrm @BrianWCollins @_RyanTurek @emilyvgordon and I saw it opening weekend and told everyone we know to go see it!
3/27
2019
@KSteets00 @jonahray Oh no. Oh. Oh no.A picture of me and some of my best friends. (Photo by Art Streiber.) https://t.co/q2wvq7ABD6 @BiscuitBasher Your prescription makes people from different races look exactly the same? @BiscuitBasher Is that what it is? The glasses? @BiscuitBasher Different brown guy. I know it’s confusing.
3/26
2019
Oprah touched my face.A trailer for my episode of The Twilight Zone! April 1st! I’ve never done anything like this episode before. https://t.co/QgMq8gwffm @minhalbaig @emilyvgordon Thank you for the support! Excited for your movie too!
3/25
2019
@MrNishKumar Dammit you zoomed in too muchI liked this pic of me so here it is. https://t.co/EqhJsNkuBA
3/23
2019
Ok. I’ll try Sekiro. Or should I try Bloodborne again? I got to a baddie I couldn’t defeat and remember loudly sayi… https://t.co/sGwIw7k8kF @SamRichardson NoooooooooooIt’s late. I’ll make my 2 most devastating video game confessions & then delete them. 1. I’ve never gotten into a… https://t.co/oMmwJAGSQy @JasonWiner @davidstassen Oh people LOVE a Midnight Run reference, especially if the word “tone” is used in the sam… https://t.co/qDZ4ZAv3rM @davidstassen I just did it today! Proud to be part of this special group. #7Kstrong
3/22
2019
@ScottAukerman Co-sign. #ConstructThatShit
3/18
2019
Seeing New Zealand come together to mourn its tragedy has been novel. @jonnysun The daytime monster attack sequence in The Host is the greatest daytime monster attack sequence of all time.
3/17
2019
There is hope, even though it can be hard to see right now. https://t.co/srWHwAA9JaThis Christchurch news is so overwhelming. I don’t even know what to say. Try to have be kind and focus on loving things. I feel so futile.
3/15
2019
And this review too! I’m feeling all filled up! https://t.co/5uMn0GQN35And this one! https://t.co/ZfIxcie68zWe debuted ⁦@STUBERmovie⁩ at ⁦@sxsw⁩ last night and it was a blast and the screening was awesome! Cc: ⁦… https://t.co/jjD1eyaoXm
3/14
2019
And if you don’t have a @sxsw badge you can purchase tickets here: https://t.co/yu3s0nupPgHey @sxsw. Come see @STUBERmovie tonight at 9:30 pm at the Paramount Theater! https://t.co/3LlcqtTm8o
3/13
2019
Tomorrow! Come watch! @DaveBautista and I will be there to answer your questions and Dave is going to Flamenco danc… https://t.co/u2IR4Crg0l
3/12
2019
Just landed in Austin for @sxsw. Showing @STUBERmovie with @DaveBautista on Wednesday, March 13th! If you don’t hav… https://t.co/VR0n4yVPg8 @shivemarcus @IssaRae Marcus! Thanks for being awesome!And here’s one with the director of #TheLovebirds @mshowalter, minutes after we wrapped. Whew. (Btw I’m not actuall… https://t.co/X8BLZq0WvsAnd that is a wrap on #TheLovebirds with international treasure @IssaRae. If you look closely, you can see I’m tryi… https://t.co/wwSWiDzFEaIt Started As a Joke is a documentary about a comedy festival started by @EugeneMirman who is one of the funniest p… https://t.co/KhgeVDmY6S
3/11
2019
Solo album from my daughter ⁦@Lili_seesthings⁩ aka Bad Driver is officially released today! Available on all platfo… https://t.co/qxGULsLIMN
Retweeted by Kumail Nanjiani
3/10
2019
@PFTompkins For a second I thought you said “uninformed pilot” and was like “How does PFT know he’s uninformed? Did… https://t.co/pKu8KVcCez @MrNishKumar @JamesAcaster That song is a bop and you know. It’s a banger.
3/9
2019
@JamesAcaster @MrNishKumar I love art @nickwiger I’ll do a PF Chang’s Doughboys with you. Or BW3.
3/8
2019
And the stakes keep getting lower too. It was a coma, now it’s LASIK. Watch out for my next project, Rideshare and… https://t.co/sgQvMHADyTI’m in a movie with my favorite person @DaveBautista and it’s called @STUBERmovie and it comes out this summer and… https://t.co/OpAfw85SET
3/7
2019

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