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My new movie Stuber is out on July 12th. Go see it!

3,055 Following   2,860,420 Followers   604 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/2/09


@emilyvgordon 😢 @gamesyouloved I never beat Revenge of Shinobi @davidchang @davidstassen Ooooooh shit. You just got bodied again, son! @davidstassen F. U.
6/17
2019
@davidstassen Fuck. You.Bored? Here are a few @netflix gems u may not know? WE THE ANIMALS KRISHA MORRIS FROM AMERICA NANETTE A SERIOUS MA… https://t.co/Eq20dfE44z
Retweeted by Kumail Nanjiani
6/16
2019
I was on @TheEllenShow and got to talk about some things that I wanted to talk about. https://t.co/KcDQ0xFMVf @amblin You tell me, Amblin. You tell me.I play this adorable monster in Men in Black: International. In theaters now! https://t.co/P2Bgxxsegu
6/15
2019
I played True Confessions with @jimmyfallon & @chrishemsworth & we all learned some things about each other. https://t.co/UGnrQykG2K
6/13
2019
@emilyvgordon @clmazin @AndyRichter @instagram You passed the (stone) test @nickwiger Oh man. Well good heath to him. Hope he at least got a taste. @nickwiger Is this confirmed?Tea. Sangers. Truths. https://t.co/BOfuxcIPoR @emilyvgordon Holy shit Emily!!!!! @AndyRichter @clmazin @emilyvgordon @instagram I'm in all your bathrooms right now
6/12
2019
There are FREE screenings of @STUBERmovie happening all over the place. Go to this site and sign up to get free tix… https://t.co/Tgv9eIc8U3Same https://t.co/pJ5cqPsKNj
6/11
2019
@zhandlen No
6/10
2019
@garywhitta @bdgrabinski If you don’t watch it on a plane, you’ll never watch it @garywhitta Yes @waterpoloromsy @STUBERmovie @DaveBautista @nataliemorales @MiraSorvino @JimmyTatro @iko_uwais I’m honestly trying.… https://t.co/5qY9bOT46c
6/9
2019
Happy BFF Day @DaveBautista! https://t.co/lsgT7V2OqRNew @STUBERmovie red band trailer is here. @DaveBautista Betty Gilpin @nataliemorales @MiraSorvino @JimmyTatrohttps://t.co/24oUAUaBCcThe red band trailer for @STUBERmovie is out! Me @DaveBautista @nataliemorales @MiraSorvino @JimmyTatro @iko_uwaishttps://t.co/v7hX253wxC
6/8
2019
@rabiasquared @emilyvgordon I’m also currently missing Lindt and Ritter Sport, which are the pillars of my candy drawer. @emilyvgordon @rabiasquared EMILY! @rabiasquared Awwwwwww @rabiasquared I’ve got a candy drawer just like this! Your husband has great taste! It’s warranted and good. Also Eid Mubarak to you all!Ultimately, it was Silicon Valley that destroyed us.
6/5
2019
Muslim Women in Film & Television has a list of Muslim women who are ready to write on your TV show. Hire them:… https://t.co/8PvyYlZkvJ
Retweeted by Kumail Nanjiani
6/4
2019
@GameOverGreggy I’m with you
6/3
2019
Tune-in this Sunday, June 2nd at 10:30am PT / 1:30pm ET for a Twitter Q&A with #MIB’s @KumailN! Tweet your question… https://t.co/9BkcUWLEQl
Retweeted by Kumail Nanjiani
6/1
2019
Alright, I'm in. You now have all the dorky white male comics. I nominate @kumailn https://t.co/wpaKLQe2aW
Retweeted by Kumail NanjianiDoes anyone wanna buy two boats? https://t.co/grtYVMWQkM
5/31
2019
Look at how exactly opposite the twitter trending headline and the actual body of the text are. https://t.co/itFK8QlMsJ
5/30
2019
This is the article I'm talking about right now. From two days ago. In the New York Times. And there have been many… https://t.co/hcExvHJCDOThere have been so many articles basically confirming the existence of UFO’s in the last couple of years and we’re… https://t.co/u1EVG8EBny @MenaMassoud 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💪🏾💪🏾 @CheapyD @Mrscheapy I could play Aladdin’s dadA studio blockbuster starring mostly brown people is the number one movie in America. That’s pretty cool.
5/28
2019
@Yassir_Lester 1. Didn’t go to church on Sunday 2. Didn’t go to church on Wednesday 3. Don’t watch Better Call Sau… https://t.co/hVXbotV57c @Yassir_Lester Buncha reasons @Yassir_Lester Not for meI had an awesome time doing @ArmchairExpPod with my new best friend @daxshepard. We’ve been texting about male musc… https://t.co/QSbopiUaTj @BrianWCollins Also John Wick 3 is doing fine. It doesn’t need you. Brightburn will appreciate the support.
5/27
2019
@RobSchrab @DaveBautista @nataliemorales @MiraSorvino @JimmyTatro @iko_uwais They should all break up and then come see this movie
5/24
2019
I sat in silence for ten minutes, hating and enjoying the feeling. Anyway. Fleabag. It's pretty good. End thread.When I was 14, I'd look at girls I had crushes on & think “I’ll never be with her. Never.” It was such a deep feeli… https://t.co/DBKT21M8giThis is yet another thread about Fleabag, so if you haven't seen it or are sick of hearing about how great it is, c… https://t.co/qmhAXJpQBWRichard Curtis, founder of @RedNoseDayUSA, explaining to @jimmyfallon what happens when you spend $2 on a red nose… https://t.co/f8a7wkQvxy
Retweeted by Kumail Nanjiani @shadipetosky @emilyvgordon @JamesGunn @davehagen @tompappalardo She did do this. I vouch. Cuz it looks awesome.
5/23
2019
New trailer for Stuber! Me @DaveBautista @nataliemorales Betty Gilpin @MiraSorvino @JimmyTatro @iko_uwais. July 12t… https://t.co/x2xl1fpoSe
5/22
2019
@lindaholmes Could not be saying it harderThe new trailer for Stuber is here! With @nataliemorales @DaveBautista Betty Gilpin, @karengillan @MiraSorvinohttps://t.co/Cxd4tShHk7 @BrianWCollins @ScottWamplerBMD This exchange fucks
5/21
2019
@sepinwall I love that it was more like a 6 part movie. @ikebarinholtz I like it. Four stars. @sepinwall What do you, analyze tv for a living? @sepinwall Because that’s my interpretation @sepinwall You think she’s talking to Boo when she’s addressing the audience?Ok we can stop making TV now. I just finished Fleabag, and we’re all done here. @kbiegel Wait till you watch the rest of it. Jesus Christ. Just finished two minutes ago. I’m not prone to hyperbol… https://t.co/R9GigkxWIs
5/20
2019
Fleabag is so good it’s a problem.Life pro- tip: everyone is dehydrated. @Yassir_Lester Is the movie set over only one day?
5/19
2019
@chrissyteigen Do you also do desserts? I have an idea for a dessert that might be a game-changer. @jehorowitz And an amazing Steve Zahn performance. @chrissyteigen Same
5/18
2019
@IanKarmel @ihatejoelkim Govine Hrowth Bormone? @Remender It’s pensive and moody. Not a run and bang. Just so you know what you’re getting into. @Remender Which ones?
5/17
2019
@tylerlansdown @Massawyrm Yeah where the eff is Kung Jin? Haven't figured a main out yet. Between Erron, Scorpion, Kung Lao.I donated to the Yellowhammer Fund to support reproductive rights in Alabama. Please donate if you can. If you can’… https://t.co/oFJdRcKegu
5/16
2019
@tvoti RIP your mentions @ikebarinholtz @robdelaney Shay Shelnutt @plante I loved that piece. It made me decide to not purchase that game. I know that wasn’t your goal. It was a dec… https://t.co/0hphLIL0R8 @chelseaperetti Garlan Gudger. Shay Shelnutt. Will Barfoot. @Yassir_Lester @emilyvgordon @chelseaperetti You know, I was against our tagline being "Oh yes we did... just make… https://t.co/KmRykpRSG8 @Yassir_Lester @emilyvgordon @chelseaperetti JFC
5/15
2019
@Yassir_Lester @chelseaperetti @emilyvgordon You give me too much credit. Without you, this genius idea would never… https://t.co/PoSi2yFQT9Good luck guys. https://t.co/LMzzgbqX0I
Retweeted by Kumail Nanjiani
5/14
2019
@Yassir_Lester Appreciate all the credit you’re throwing my way, but I wanna stress: this film was your vision. Thi… https://t.co/f950XaQGc2After tonight’s Game of Thrones and Veep, I will never recover. I’m gonna go lay in a soft bed for three months. Goodnight.
5/13
2019
@Yassir_Lester Did any of my punch up lines make it into the final film?Stuber is out on July 12th. @DaveBautista @nataliemorales @MiraSorvino @karengillan Betty Gilpin. Can’t wait. https://t.co/v9qvJ9jiwH @RonFunches We played this all day long when we were first dating. Amazing game. Cc: @emilyvgordonKeanu. https://t.co/k8A4IeUnuD
5/12
2019
@DetectiveFudd @Massawyrm I never spend money on micro transactions. Never ever never. Personal policy. @jmgeventhorizon @Massawyrm Scorpion @Massawyrm But it’s Saturday and Mortal Kombat is so good... @Aaron_Morgan Wow I’ve never heard of this. Looks awesome.
5/11
2019
Yeh log bilkul kaminay hain. https://t.co/IaVkyfEgmK @PadmaLakshmi same
5/10
2019
@scottderrickson They’re both based on surprise
5/9
2019
@WH_Woolhat Love that game.Random indie game recommendation. Far: Lone Sails. Gorgeous, haunting, strangely moving. I can’t describe the gamep… https://t.co/zfGendVDUn
5/8
2019
I got to be on Gay of Thrones with the amazing and hilarious @jvn! https://t.co/z22urSqvLLHey, fellow critic folks, I would appreciate the boost! Support new models as well as clicking links. I've got this… https://t.co/IIk3gBNHYg
Retweeted by Kumail Nanjiani
5/7
2019
@nickwiger @heathercampbell Also it has a bunch of digitized speech in it and the technology was NOT THERE YET
5/6
2019

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