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I am incredibly online | pronouns in bio | he/him | https://t.co/7DmcApBFJS

1,055 Following   165,937 Followers   67,430 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/27/16


@QueenMelanoma How dare you I mean honestly @aubviouslynot It's a boo bee ! :DBlueberry: a berry that is blue Blackberry: a berry that is black Raspberry: a berry that uh,,,, um Strawberry:… https://t.co/XQIv8c5pVXWhite liberals tomorrow https://t.co/AJFvRiNwAr
Retweeted by Dr Kyle 🌱 @TheHyyyype This filled me with dread https://t.co/rXZFrXJlkp @TheHyyyype This is the Lib equivalent of those reddit elon musk posts. Le epic tweet, you glorious bastard!! @ThatEricAlper Jesus of Nazareth @BirdGrape @KennyTheMacGraw @harriweinreb I'm legally not allowed to say @OldMemeArchive This one is potent @helenkeller @kehindewiley I literally do not care vis a vis getting the bagFigured it's a responsible thing to post the link https://t.co/bbsYbzoo3M @chrissyteigen Chrissy those are the bad guys!!!!!!!!!This is the energy. I love this. Get the bag no matter what https://t.co/9VyPtCdELx @tonyravioli69 @MissyXMartinez Holy shit @badgirIkiki Oh thank God https://t.co/G2Tg0o1JG3 @emaddeaux @marytylerless Congratulations mary tyler less on being the non-fucking idiot of the two of us @marytylerless The blind leading the blind @marytylerless Wait is oomf not one of my friends? Is it followers? Am I a fucking idiot??Pence tomorrow tweeting "oomf in his flop era bad :/" @kimberloony @biboofficial He has to fight for his life??? What horrible person is forcing him to do this? @perfectcows I noticed that! Really does add a little bit of magic ❀️ @perfectcows There is so much joy in this photo, thank you for this gift @MissyXMartinez WELL IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE ELSE WILL @TheXavier89 It's not filmed it is an animated show @coollady42 I'll let you know when they stop laughingDidn't even tell me the answer. Just laughed and told Bing about itI didn't know where Bob's Burgers was supposed to take place, but because I am an idiot I googled "where is bob's b… https://t.co/PJmymm4T5s @Soy_Corriendo This is so good that I'm physically in pain @perfectcows Hold up, he may have a pointPence reluctantly scribbling "HAGS"Trump walking around the white house saying "if anyone hasn't signed my yearbook yet, I'll leave it right here" and… https://t.co/KaEwu5iNZ5 @mikaelajpalermo on bad days I would tell a customer "let me go check in the back" and just zone out there for a while
1/20
2021
@BiblePimps @_Anunnery @laborgiant As Jesus says in the beatitudes, "poors can fuck off. They wouldn't be poor if they didn't deserve it" @zyellowman2 @PlantEmojiBot Absolutely, this is canonReal eyes realize real lies..... But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?I fucked around and found doubt πŸ˜” @StephenKing How do you reckon this comment makes cocktail waitresses feel?We laugh so we don't cry https://t.co/nCuzAHzBjP @bfwriter Please shut the fuck upSome of them committed genocide Elie https://t.co/nOK9Y2eTqG @love_2_rap I truly don't understand this mindset. If someone told me I made them uncomfortable I would curl up in… https://t.co/fegtHv0Ddu @cdlrsrio Oh that's exactly what this is @saylahachey They don't really "get" Twitter but they saw my tweets on reddit and assumed I'd be a good followNot a fan of Biden but I don't think it's fair to make anyone start a new job on a wednesday @crocfanpage I may be stupid, but I'm also dumb https://t.co/BcHrWh736V @Amy_Siskind I remember when the allied forces voted into germany and then hitler voted himself in the headFuck me right up. You kids and your music https://t.co/UbJjTgGnlUIf you, like I, didn't know these were music groups at first, this is a wild take https://t.co/7YzXztVTJg @itsmattfred @itsonlyaubrey @Cjdeck1 @TheEpicDept Maybe it was one of those "venonat was originally supposed to evolve into butterfree" switches @getFANDOM @Variety Finally! I was missing paying too much for cable packages and now I'm starting to get that feeling back ❀️ @crocfanpage Idk how to tell u this but......... Ur parents are hot @prestovision *only kinda heard you* happy birthday toe beans @prageru In hindsight, I'm not surprised the folks at PragerU dont know what a real job isPreviously On: A Drama https://t.co/JtogsScZIH
Retweeted by Dr Kyle 🌱 @cruelminds I love this @nxtvxkxng https://t.co/2DK2HRSPVc @elongatedsquar1 This gave me a giggle @ChaseHicks_ Then why is my name literally Dr Kyle 🌱?Before you try to tell me what it means, consider that I also have access to Google dot comBecause I've only ever seen the word in one place, I don't really have a good idea of what "spangled" means @taco_spell Prozac lesbian is an incredible music/stage name @JimCarrey I'm curious as to why you tried to do a bevis and butthead homage with this one*pouring a bunch of regular hodgkins lymphoma in the bargain bin**hospital checkout line* Just the one sclerosis for me today, trying to cut back @FireBeets // returns true If(true){ Return true; } Else{ Return true; } @aubviouslynot If I read this joke in 2015 I would laugh and laugh and laugh @Conrad_AML Hell yeah king get my assJust a bunch of dudes with patchy beards and a github they've logged into twice talking about how they don't get bonersWhite people love to compare SSRIs @OrangeJuche God dammit lmaohttps://t.co/rezCbhLXUugonna start holding my booty accountable 😀 https://t.co/4MzqP18px7 @CatholicBastard should have gone with === to show I'm a front end dev @memerayo well NOW it is @aubviouslynot @MattPostSaysHi https://t.co/iLRb8dwF6r @aubviouslynot Why did I assume this was gonna be about me @alexraysnyder I literally just googled "superbowl 2021 halftime show" because aubrey and were unaware as to the ac… https://t.co/8FlsCzoqJEI wonder if he knows he spells his name wrongThis one parenthetical says so much about their audience https://t.co/pC1756I3Gl @fennec_sasha @Scooter_Magnus That was actually smashmouth @nachomamarn @MaraWilson 🎢 you got to... STAND OUT 🎢 @badgirIkiki πŸ‘¨β€πŸ³πŸ’‹πŸ€ŒThere's probably a cleaner way to do this oneBare Naked Ladies: forgive me father for I have sinned, Priest: please not ag- BNL: YITSBIN @jodieegrace There's a line between being credited for your Art and being annoyed by all the notifications on a shi… https://t.co/vQxcgBS4oc @Browtweaten Oh come the FUCKI have never read an article and I'm sure as shit not gonna start now @mrjohndarby There where whisperings that the third wiseman was actually half fish but I think it's just a mer-myrrh murmur @yesIwill_Yes "babe u look like ur getting sick babe" "... I feel fine" "Ok but just in case...." @Sheleftmelol ya they changed it @txchnxlxgy I swear they changed it......Does anyone else remember 7 Γ— 6 == 36???*gets test handed back to me and I got every answer wrong* wow, talk about the mandela effect!Bob dylan sells song 'I Am a Poor Man With No Money' for 63 million dollars
Retweeted by Dr Kyle 🌱 @NoahBarkerSC Absolutely not, this shit is funny as hell @grillyjoel It's perfectπŸ‘€πŸ‘€ https://t.co/zxhIdcUaJq @badgirIkiki @Marquez_Cox21 This mf said cornfog @Marquez_Cox21 @badgirIkiki Oh this was absolutely worth it
1/19
2021

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