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Female cracksman of the nifty.

432 Following   138 Followers   11,162 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/21/09


@MrGeorgeWallace I agree to the terms and support this policy without reservation.
8/6
2020
Is my lemon rice perfect? No. Is it nonetheless delicious? Oh, yes. #lemonrice #homemade #dinner #lickingmyownspoonhttps://t.co/Rx8mLY0bHl
8/3
2020
I can't unsee it. and it's terrifying. https://t.co/LSAFgyAZVO
Retweeted by MercutiaParts of the right fear that immigrants hate America. Parts of the left hope that they will have little attachment… https://t.co/1c42jsjGcE
Retweeted by Mercutia"Here is the stark choice: you either want to make it easier for Americans to vote, or you want to make it harder.… https://t.co/plOSm2JhsG
Retweeted by Mercutia
8/2
2020
Fried green tomatoes and onion rings I made to use up the leftover batter and breading. These with ranch, AFTER the… https://t.co/jCBm7GDBNL
7/29
2020
@intelligentwat My fat ass would like to have dinner with you because SAME.
7/28
2020
Birria de res (with halved onion), pulled/chopped and ready to be tacos tomorrow night or so. The broth still lacks… https://t.co/3VDKy6ppka
7/20
2020
@kashanacauley https://t.co/abpZzu7Tmw
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7/19
2020
@KarlaAtWork 😏😏😏
7/18
2020
Tacos de birria, first ever attempt. I will redo this better next time because I can see where they need improving,… https://t.co/Ez5WamW3Rf
7/13
2020
Birria de res con consomé. Assuming I spelled that right. A little too hot and spicy, but fuck it, it’s delicious.… https://t.co/yUzB33ezTg
7/12
2020
Dark chocolate chocolate chip pancake with a drizzle of amarena cherry juice. #pancakes #chocolate #cherryjuicehttps://t.co/053yvWzHvG
7/11
2020
Zucchini taco boats. #dinner #homemade #holybiscuitsthisisdelicious https://t.co/RhHqtJ5NKs
7/9
2020
@nkjemisin Dad knows what’s up ❤️Oh my God. Email exchange with my dad. Me: "I try not to wish harm on others. That shit comes back on you." Dad: "I… https://t.co/aO1Y2EuLW5
Retweeted by MercutiaHomemade nachos. (Sort of homemade.) #nachos #dinner #delicious https://t.co/mHorPWSf94
7/8
2020
Portrait of a Happy Doge, 2020. #nofilter #sadlynotmydoge #championatbeingpettedthough #goodboi #cuddlesliekwoah https://t.co/26WRcUXye4
7/3
2020
@HillaryMonahan REPRESENT https://t.co/hDJ0cQMZ7Y @KarlaAtWork Maybe there should be a belly dance version 👀👀👀
7/2
2020
@intelligentwat 🤣🤣🤣I really enjoy white people that hate white racist people. Y’all be mad as fuck. Disowning family members and shit.… https://t.co/Wol6gIFXTv
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7/1
2020
My frosting looks like cat sick, but it tastes good. Vanilla almond cupcakes with raspberry vanilla frosting.… https://t.co/Ta0G97ip3O
6/25
2020
Just got my first ever passport in the mail, have bok choy in the crisper, and $13 in my bank account, so clearly I… https://t.co/tQMwlXrJpe
6/24
2020
@GeuTaylor @scumbelievable https://t.co/cKHrOTSVd1 @GeuTaylor @scumbelievable I always felt like that was the exact appeal of MCU Thor.
6/22
2020
@VaGentlenerd YUSSSS @intelligentwat ARE YOU MOIST? BECAUSE MANSPLAINING ALWAYS MAKES *ME* VERY MOIST.
6/21
2020
...so today’s lunch, of course, was red-braised pork belly and kue serabi with coconut syrup. #omg #stuffed https://t.co/X6KhKfM4BwThe last quarter of my first ever kue serabi (Indonesian rice flour and coconut milk pancake with coconut milk syru… https://t.co/cbBUsKyT5jMy first ever red-braised pork belly. It took longer than the recipe said it would but it was Worth. It. THIS WAS A… https://t.co/bFF4Fe1NN6
6/20
2020
*unspeakably DAMMIT AUTOCORRECT YOU RUINED MY STORY plus also my copy editing skills are patheticWe first spotted it, limbs or tendrils stark against the dark sky, when an early outlier of the weird summer storms… https://t.co/gEptjgpemm“we all have the same 24 hours” means nothing when everyone doesn’t have the same privilege, resources, and funds.
Retweeted by Mercutia
6/19
2020
Young Shepherd Resting While Traveling to the See the Manger, Italian, thought to be the work of a DaVinci apprenti… https://t.co/rqQglz2KQ4Madonna and Child, unknown Flemish, c. 1645 #artdammit #sereneandmild #furryholyfamily #butenoughaboutmyeyebrows https://t.co/xPMqH0bJ96
6/18
2020
@rgay OMG 😍
6/16
2020
@realDonaldTrump https://t.co/rfcFOdgR9R
6/14
2020
If you need to see a little black joy, please watch my moms reaction when I told her I got into law school with a $… https://t.co/Q8KNdvb8DV
Retweeted by MercutiaDon't worry about those Confederate statues being torn down. They're getting what they always wanted: out of America.
Retweeted by Mercutia @carmenmmachado VERY interested in this.
6/11
2020
I don't think movies about a dystopian future will ever need a back story again.
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6/9
2020
Fried yellow squash and green onion fritters and fried green tomoatoes. I’ve done better, but they’re edible, so.… https://t.co/XtSzLR94Do
6/8
2020
My friend Teri, better known by her horror/weird pen name, Zin E. Rocklyn, sent me this! INSTANT WARDROBE UPGRADE!… https://t.co/x6nTeUCAALDisappointed doesn’t even begin to describe what I feel. I won’t be supporting Nini’s Deli/Chicago Native again. https://t.co/B6JGEY5LqR
Retweeted by MercutiaHappy birthday beautiful Breonna. You should be here celebrating with your family. We honor you, and we’re not goin… https://t.co/kJTugh6sn7
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6/6
2020
If you're going to protest, long sleeves & pants, cover your head & your face. Wear ballistic goggles if you can,… https://t.co/Pb1dSVYukg
Retweeted by MercutiaLeaders who have hidden in a bunker and gassed their own citizens include Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump
Retweeted by Mercutia @BettinaPrice OMG that sounds so GOOOOOOD!
6/2
2020
Steamed dressed baby bok choy (homemade) and steamed pork buns with spicy chili crisp and sweet chili sauce (frozen… https://t.co/ScSvVXEbi2
6/1
2020
@intelligentwat Not unless you want to!
5/31
2020
Unnecessarily large, terrifyingly delicious cherry pineapple smoothie. Sometimes my spontaneous ideas are great. Le… https://t.co/KkPCQjJDbF
5/30
2020
I hate it when I screw up. It's like nails on the chalkboard of my soul. #dammitHuge, lovely iris that, as my friend Laura puts it, “Looks like a haute couture dress.” #nofilter #hausofflorahttps://t.co/InGuyAv2a4
5/29
2020
@marcmaron I’m so sorry for your loss.
5/26
2020
What always pisses me off about the whole “ class above race, race is psyops” is that it’s always used to tell POC… https://t.co/201itrJxMG
Retweeted by Mercutia @intelligentwat *HUGS*
5/23
2020
Max the Main Street Produce Shih Tzu Guard Puppy helping me demonstrate how NOT to do social distancing. #howtodemohttps://t.co/QgcNZkxYP8
5/22
2020
Today I was visited by both the Pyrex Measuring Cup Fairy and the Tiara Fairy, so things are going unexpectedly and… https://t.co/g8uhcn4HuA
5/21
2020
Thread: The Orientalizing of Moulana Rumi Many of you may be familiar with the 'Rumi quotes' that circulate the in… https://t.co/ABk6dGqQ5x
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5/18
2020
@ChuckWendig The only true mayonnaise is Duke’s Mayonnaise FIGHT ME #dammit @intelligentwat #WriteForSpiteFor the first time ever, with grit and determination and some substitutions, I made the WORLD’S WORST BATCH OF DAN… https://t.co/JfnK49vKw5
5/12
2020
@mitchytrevy @bh13850 @sara_boutall @28delayslater @elonmusk @Kristennetten @RenataKonkoly @Johnnaaaaaaaaaahttps://t.co/uNhl3Rus3B
5/9
2020
Black people, REMEMBER this. Just LOOK at how they are so close to the police. NEVER let ANYONE tell you that polic… https://t.co/Q2syvcxcSV
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5/6
2020
@Hil_c_brown @ChazFuckwit @guxpito Thank you! @Hil_c_brown @ChazFuckwit @guxpito WHAAAAT!? I’m not a fan and I knew about the n-word which was bad enough but lea… https://t.co/K71qnhImQ1 @Philosopher_Dad @leechwaifu @PissJugTycoon I didn’t think he was but to be fair I didn’t know much about his personal life. @BumbleBuck @renfamous That sounds less like love and more like mockery. @Zer0mass @RememberKoomVly @alysiao @renfamous I thought he was already divorced a couple years when they took up t… https://t.co/gUjpYrpbvS @Jeffrey_reads @renfamous Is that the literal reason? Is it stated someplace? Not challenging this, just curious about the deets.
5/5
2020
HOW TO BAKE: A TUTORIAL Step 1: Don a seasonally-inappropriate apron. Step 2 [photo redacted]: DARK, UNHOLY RITES… https://t.co/MFF5369nCx
5/2
2020
In the What Can I Waste (Not Too Much Of) My Money On While Self-Isolating, my first order from Sockerbit came toda… https://t.co/ptg8SFSnHLChocolate chip oatmeal pecan cookies. #homemade #baking #chocolatechipoatmealpecancookies https://t.co/mutGDWUUYZ
4/25
2020
I couldn’t resist. https://t.co/SzbCYZUCKW
Retweeted by MercutiaEven richer ass-faced failed comedian who’s reduced to being the “wacky guy” on geriatric GOP propaganda network wo… https://t.co/QQDB9I8K6b
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4/20
2020
I just thought of the term “sky brains” to describe clouds and I’m not sure I’m OK with it. #skybrains
4/19
2020
A gloryhole, but instead of penises it’s breadsticks from Olive Garden
Retweeted by MercutiaWhat I can recall of Nigella’s Mexican cocktail: lime slices, ice cubes, tequila shot, coke (the Mexican kind made… https://t.co/LNutn3ksxo
4/18
2020
Big Little Women on Fire Everywhere
Retweeted by Mercutia @theorygurl I needed this laugh like you will never know
4/7
2020
Three-meat Stromboli. #homemade #dinner #stromboli https://t.co/6SkDooBSqp
3/27
2020
Hummus is ground up beans. Is hummus coffee? Day 11.
Retweeted by Mercutia
3/26
2020
Spinach and cheese stromboli. Needs more salt and possibly some marinara on the side, but still. DELICIOUS.… https://t.co/Q7fRMfOnuj
3/22
2020
Please, if you can, resist the urge to explain the joke. https://t.co/gyZPjiF6Qh
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3/21
2020
Stale storebought jelly donut bread pudding. #leftovers #homebaking #delicious #useitup https://t.co/BzcQj2Yiat
3/19
2020
Watching the videos from Italy 🇮🇹 inspired me. Entertainers must offer hope & humor to their neighbors in this time… https://t.co/YgzGaZE5nt
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3/17
2020
As a public service in these stressful times I'd like to offer, as a palate cleanser, the most embarrassing moment… https://t.co/M5gTGLLTZT
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3/16
2020
My left boob voted and encourages you to do the same. #boobs #voting https://t.co/yHaxKoiXwu
3/3
2020
@Death_Bow @GennHutchison Oh my GOD, this! @GennHutchison It's so weird! Age is like clothes you're wearing: forgotten until it gets in your way or someone co… https://t.co/CCZovjIBQG
Retweeted by MercutiaThere has to be a more humane way to make towels https://t.co/X6kYCSvX40
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3/1
2020
King Arthur Flour’s Cinnamon Bread (from scratch). Added a little vanilla and almond extracts and the zest of an or… https://t.co/TkMVAKFeht
2/25
2020
@DrNerdLove https://t.co/WGj0xPP3Cc @DrNerdLove He breaks my shit and we’re done.
2/22
2020
Chocolate peanut butter cornflake cookies, with a li’l sprinkle of coarse sea salt on top. Yes, these ARE for Valen… https://t.co/X6I5A4FRq2
2/14
2020
@KSekouM https://t.co/lz3V1XmKup @CAwkward I legit want to fly over there, drag him out into the yard, and beat him with a baseball bat; slap some s… https://t.co/N6pR6ISVkbShe is paying this abusive shitbird’s bills https://t.co/XRfNfZ7i8e https://t.co/rXclcK1uJL
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2/12
2020
Life is dispiriting sometimes; it will teach you all the ways of disappointment on its own. Thus you must invent yo… https://t.co/jiDOTyorg6
2/9
2020

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