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Writer/editor/artist/bastard 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 Machine wash inside out

1,266 Following   2,186 Followers   39,579 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/21/09

Most Americans only think about indigenous people twice a year: Columbus Day and Thanksgiving.This is my screensaver, I often tell myself, “We did alright, kid.”
Retweeted by Andrew LaSane @DoNatoBomb Sean is such a good interviewerHow doth one find the right size Champion sweatsuit without trying them on? 🤔 Tryna hit this Jimmy Jazz sale and get cozy @RaeWitte @RaeWitte I'm black and southern so...Do vegetarians eat Turfuckens?I swear to god if any of you fuckers posts a video of someone slicing canned cranberry sauce that turns out to be c…
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneThanksgiving pizza ordered. Forgot to go out for a can of cranberry sauce tho :/Now is probably not a good time to go to Target, right?
Dropped a package off at USPS like 6 hours ago and the tracking number still doesn't show that it was accepted. Gue… blogs be like: "IMPRESSIVE!! You won't believe how many rare and expensive sneakers this rich rapper has. How'd he get these?!"Are there no rules for who presidents can pardon? Trump is basically a bouncer letting all of his friends cut the l… @BradFHenderson Just spill the beans now in case 2021 doesn't happenFuck Martha Stewart needs to be on a t-shirt...oh wait, I can do that! @Devindra I came across the Get Out artbook in Strand once and didn't buy it like a dummy. I should get bothIf someone wants to sell me a copy of this book, I'll personally guarantee that the Thanksgiving turkey slides down…‼️ #RunFilm ranks as the most watched film on @Hulu EVER since premiering!! This wouldn’t be possible witho…
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneIt's rare for a YouTube ad to capture my attention and make me watch it beyond the 5 second skip threshold...… light of today's bummer Fangrrls news, this feels like an indie movie dropping a trailer on the same day Marvel…
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneAll I know about Ready Player One is that 1) my 12 y/o son loves it and 2) this makes him trash, apparently
Retweeted by Andrew LaSane @Mezmoreyez36 You should watch with her. It's about dancersUpdate: I just convinced my mom to watch #Climax this weekend... with a subscription knows that @Shudder has only gained momentum over the years in terms of Originals and Ex…
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneListening to the new episode of @RadioGorepress on Climax, a movie I don't really need to rewatch this decade was meant to be a surprise. Been working on this for almost 4 years now. I am very sad that what we had in sto…
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneShout out @HauntedMeg (and curse you) for putting the Severin sale and the "Tales of the Uncanny" documentary on my radar. @BookishPlinko Have you ever written about your Wolfman, or is it a "for me" kinda thing?Marshawn has always been a real one 👑
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneDropping $140 on a pair of chucks just feels wrong...maybe if they were 30% more comfortable 😩 @PhilNobileJr I've seen videos of denim hunters going in old barns and mines looking for valuable jeans and my firs… @theheadknight 😂
Retweeted by Andrew LaSane @missmollymary🚴‍♀️ @Mezmoreyez36 Microwave is like 20in wide @Mezmoreyez36 Both lol the fridge comes up to my collar bone I think...around 5 ftBasically half the size of my fridge but it's clean and at least powers on. Retail $150, got it for $50…'t wait to take 30 Ls in one day with sneakers, I'm done being mad at capitalists for playing the capitalism game. This is more on the retaile… @thestoutgawd That's a lot of work lol
Buying a used microwave on Craigslist tonight...what could go wrong?"Porno" Now Playing on Shudder
Retweeted by Andrew LaSane @steinekin ReuseI'm behind on 4 pairs of customs because work/life... Meanwhile @SolesBySir just went HAM for 7 weeks straight to… you need to know about pay transparency, discussing salaries, and how the law does and doesn't protect you.
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneTRIVIA IS TONIGHT! Come join us at 8:30pm EST for four rounds of tough trivia. Always free, $100 to the charity of…
Retweeted by Andrew LaSane @withjetpacks Unless it's your job, it's not that serious. They'll be collecting dust on shelves soon enoughPS: if you paid $800+ for a PS5, die. game console is worth all the stress y'all are experiencing right now. Get the shit next month 🤷Pro tip: do NOT search Wikimedia Commons for a photo of a zebrafish. Someone with that username has ruined it (for me)Ready Player One (the movie) is good. Justice League and BVS were entertaining. Star Wars The Last Jedi and Rise of… got legit angry at the sound of my phone ringing. I wish I could fight robocalls🤔 @BradFHenderson Curious how long it will take for ebay listings to pop up with this exact image and an order confirmationIt wasn't until college (and dating white women) that I learned that not everyone gets their Thanksgiving turkey fr… the great opportunity to interview Mayor Dinkins for 13TH. He was wonderful and warm and wise. May he rest in p…
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneAlways a good day when Fac drops. Haven't seen this movie yet, but this pod is always worth the potential spoilers @mizisadora I wanted to get into advertising/copywriting (and also graphic design) but it never panned out. Or hasn't yet?Grover approved. my friends to try Gather 😈 @mbmcandrews I want a Fidget tattooRoku Channel doesn't get enough credit. There is an entire Carol Burnett Show channel!
@voidparticipant A different kind of education 😩 @Scarecrowson77 That's unfortunate, but wise of you not to take out insane loans you would have to pay back for all eternity (like me)It's prob more complicated than that, but if Spotify paid artists PER STREAM...even if it was that .00318 number on… no reason at all and for EVERY reason, shout out @WarwickADavis 🙏🏽 @dedecrim @PrestonFassel in NYC: you have a college degree? If so, whats it for? @xymarla In the words of Joey... shout out once again to Daniel Dae Kim 2) yeah, Hasan Minhaj is better looking than dax shepherd. Hasan is corr…
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneA master of Gothic, a genius of giallo and a Godfather of Italian Horror—Shudder celebrates the legacy and influenc…
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneSurprise! We are giving you a week of Black Friday! Use code MARYLOU for 30% off an annual subscription. Get yours…
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneThe next stop on the Mache Run trip takes us to the Dry Tortugas of Florida. Available via preorder for 72 hours st…
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneRandom memory: at some point in the "gifted" program I was in during elementary and middle school, we learned how t…🚨: Babbel Magazine is looking for pitches of personal essays on the topic of, "How I Learned a Language," and/or tr…
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneWhat are y'all buying for Black Friday / Cyber Monday this year?Nintendo Switch Lite = sold. Thanks for playing @TaraAnsley @FANGORIA MoMI’s Future by Museum of the Moving Image on @Kickstarter @fangoria, relaunch the blog pleaseNow that I also missed on #SNKRS for these #Turduckens, here's a very weird email I got after hitting on the first… "Passion Play" and Machine Gun Kelly, I just don't trust Megan Fox's decision-making abilities.I see your #showerbeer and I raise you a 2AM shower Pelle. It's gonna be a long short week.
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneAlso some behind-the-scenes truths in this video about being a young woman in Hollywood. (Go back two tweets for…'m late, but have you guys seen Katee Sackoff watching Halloween: Resurrection for the first time (ever)?? into EP 5 I thought to myself "I'm starting to miss Aunt Slappy and the pigeons...where are the other charact…' around and watchin' some #Animaniacs shout out to kids of the 90s (and a dismissive hand wave to you old fa… woman on Food52 just said she hides spinach in her kids' gluten-free pancakes. I demand she be arrested immediately.
YES the credits are part of the movie
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneNeed to find a way to make sure squirrels don't kill me, but this is up now even out the door yet, not gonna risk it. RIP to another pair of Air Trainer 1s :( Maybe I should start sole-… would like fibroids, which black women usually suffer with, to be regarded as the crisis that it is.
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneToday’s featured crochet yarn babies are Atticus and Leti ❤️ They would make a fantastic gift for any @LovecraftHBO
Retweeted by Andrew LaSaneHappy birthday Jamie Lee Curtis! spooky shit and watching this on #AmazonPrime