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Meet the new account, same as the old account. Not taken/Not looking All shit tweets are my own #GlassesAreSexyAF

491 Following   202 Followers   2,436 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/29/11


I guess it's a no go on the world teabag tour https://t.co/0J6mMDOBjp
4/17
2021
I remember buying KISS cd's too https://t.co/qroGlRFa57 https://t.co/qsd0Rg7Fokhttps://t.co/UhzdbkthNU
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorLarry Flint https://t.co/1EK6PoqxpVThe new "The Ring" reboot looks like shit https://t.co/sDDHcqBMLQ @broken_rhi When your friend at school tells you she had a dream your car exploded, because everytime you went over… https://t.co/WKYF1BYNEDGrape Nut Flakes.... for when you don't feel like choking https://t.co/3aed9RwSKyWell, you don't know what We can find Why don't you come with me little girl On a magic carpet ride https://t.co/tHrKHEhuRpBill and Ted forever ruined how I pronounce ‘Socrates’.
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorAhh, so that's where the clit is, let me take a pic so I won't forget https://t.co/goDaJ05fTLBoys don't know what they want, but men do https://t.co/5K26UHrT2IWhen Shrek is late with your breakfast https://t.co/BeRG39cBhkWait, let me zoom in a bit more https://t.co/goDaJ05fTLTo Sean Hannity, the victim was a “13-year old man.” To Matt Gaetz, the victim was a “17-year old woman.” Pay att… https://t.co/tuIA9p2e2s
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorMy fucking ain't worth much these days https://t.co/di2cP8oM9Q @offbeatoliv I call him Betta Max, and his female partner VHSThe color is off but here he is https://t.co/hgRIzlPpRw https://t.co/AobVsLHbTtI'm giving up masturbating. Unrelated, does anyone know the name of John Wayne Bobbitt's doctor? You know the one t… https://t.co/NcWY4Qc7TKBLOCKED, @BettyMWhite is my hallpass and a national treasure https://t.co/JYbo8NQObG @meetmeintexas Fog is bad this morningYes this https://t.co/HmBjLmt5yg
4/16
2021
@LarrysTwin99 Sadly no, it's worse than that https://t.co/s3cISvwWHo @Boobalander https://t.co/G7ZgybULdo @MilfordBrimlee https://t.co/txyF46SdVS @MilfordBrimlee https://t.co/DkRZOgmMB3 @MilfordBrimlee I dream about you too https://t.co/3zKN7dgXxfOMW https://t.co/82gG09lwuYSame until I found Hawaiian Breeze, that day changed my life https://t.co/aQ8RpFx1RyI went to jail for less (4 roaches & empty zigzag pack) back when I was 19. https://t.co/1nao1meO0W @LarrysTwin99 Thank you Mike & Carol Brady for showing us married couples can be in the same bed https://t.co/QkyXfeenfG @LarrysTwin99 She's the one that recorded the Hoff's sex tape, you know when he fucked that cheeseburger https://t.co/DUip3DZG6Z!!!WARNING!!! Ladies, if after seeing me your lady-boner last more than 4 hours please seek medical attentionSo many people losing loved ones, our black friends being murdered and traumatized every day, our Asian friends bei… https://t.co/2Zcgnh6lz3
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes Impersonator
4/15
2021
Only if you fart in my general direction https://t.co/HnYPi6iZFu https://t.co/IgSf3aw37i @Tower_Tramp @dougbies A books cover has information as to what the book's about, information about the author and… https://t.co/tjUrD9QWOW @SirCasticDad42 What the fuck Jennifer, I said look to your right not at the camera. Jeff I said I didn't want to s… https://t.co/xaRrlP2f9w @MilfordBrimlee @LarrysTwin99 It's not a good date unless someone ends up in jailBasically Ghostface attacks an assisted living facility https://t.co/m2jLuqpiGG @MilfordBrimlee @LarrysTwin99 This happens at the end of his date https://t.co/BEQsiuvYTTBack when I was sucking tittie all day and shitting in a diaper, So last year https://t.co/0SmwVgmYehROADHOUSE https://t.co/TWFMfK2LdH https://t.co/9NSPyQCHHm @MilfordBrimlee @LarrysTwin99 Lol, watching logoAny time Matt Gaetz tweets just respond with his senior photo. 😎 https://t.co/0pi6jmC0fr
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorIs it weed you're looking for https://t.co/GlJAq4fZCq https://t.co/NbCN1S6WrF @KimVPoetry Hola!Most @Megadeth songs https://t.co/XivFnbwXgUThose eyes tho 😍 https://t.co/lCw6ufHywS @HamillHimself @rebekahmarine If it was red you could get @ADaniels3PO to sign itThey're deep throats https://t.co/WK8YczU0kM @StayLOVEleigh It's never too early for Arby's @Boobalander Forget the mountains, head for the bushImma tell my kids this was an Arby's roast beef sandwich #TheyHaveTheMeats https://t.co/ayVrDt1I6OThe reason the vaccines are causing blood clots https://t.co/QyOKoEUIOCImma tell my kids this was Jim Baker https://t.co/5MMnBxAIdMWhat about honey honey, and maybe some candy girl https://t.co/zxnlmL496jThis is what cruelty looks like https://t.co/myZ9HvHntMImma tell my kids this was Jeffrey Epstien https://t.co/P5u00yhzzh @MilfordBrimlee Why didn't I have alerts turned on 😭😭😭😭😭
4/14
2021
@MilfordBrimlee Pussy houndNo comment, don't want to jinx it https://t.co/N3tIpq6FbKNot sure if my back problems are from age, years of work or all those times I blew myself when I was a teen https://t.co/3jkoWrlrScHey.......... https://t.co/XUF9imyOGFRemind me, did they comply??? https://t.co/hGaGufwWQL
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorWhich one? https://t.co/xSvGT6cm81You misspelled boobs https://t.co/b72Fl46JTf @LarrysTwin99 Sorry, but Diego has moved on @youlooklikeamom Been lurking on my tl again? @JoeNBC is looking rough https://t.co/apwxXOwafyNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! https://t.co/8n6NArJIpO https://t.co/3B6hsZMoYMYou'd get better results if you invite one to your prom https://t.co/ghFSt5MOSpI'm beginning to like @SpeakerBoehner now https://t.co/BSTXu9IAcR @TheSuccuBish 😨 / \ \__😂 _/ / _//\ \ @sweatsntopknots The 20ish yo guys at work were singing the power ranger song yesterday @MaidOfBeans I stand by my statement 😨Except chihuahuas, those dogs are pure evil https://t.co/AphJ7TRwoYCereal rules BLOCKED https://t.co/oanH4osuR3 @LarrysTwin99 Chester, like that guy that used to be in hustler mag? https://t.co/ud2zK6iU9T
4/13
2021
Many guys like a full bush https://t.co/fgBY7HPlrB @colleen_eileen @adamgreattweet Because of all the horror stories their GenX parents told them about spitting in rude customers foodShe had her drink in her hand she had her toes in the sand https://t.co/8xyOsLJfgi https://t.co/YWkvHjvORm @LarrysTwin99 Not accidentally, I'm so sick of angry husbands @classysavage923 Me: When are you due? Her: I'M NOT PREGNANT Her Husband: 😂😂😂😂😂https://t.co/HySuOTe8XS https://t.co/3WuR8jPYotNo, but I still have my Blockbuster card https://t.co/Smh8qDAldZhttps://t.co/JMUldtWJN4 https://t.co/IohBcPexBQ @ImMissAdorable This girl knew how creepy he is https://t.co/wyv2quP51A
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorI once told a big tittie woman I was dating, breast size wasn't important to me. Yeah, I really was that stupid https://t.co/lkb8nlHFRj
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorHow it starts: How it's going to end https://t.co/Xd1FrPDWQN
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorI am a Sophia 💯% https://t.co/d22nx6R4r2
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorMe after I get my stimulus check https://t.co/tnOrJCBYt2
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorMarried With Children marathon https://t.co/tWTZ7wIQ0b https://t.co/jMOe2W2DOE
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorI'll try not to get it in your hair or eyes, but no guarantees https://t.co/k1lIIaTS7V
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorThe Reverse Mortgage is basically Reverse Cowgirl but riding a mustache instead of a cock https://t.co/5Mp2HdBfXg
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorAnytime I see a Propane sign without a "And Propane Accessories" I die a little inside https://t.co/LCzDCOZtTK
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes Impersonator @ess_bee33 My favorite face mask. https://t.co/jx9Vruxm67
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorYou sure you're not a battleship, cause I want to fill you with semen https://t.co/yh5gcbf4Ax
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorSeasons don't fear the reefer Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain... we can be like they are https://t.co/TZuA7THhr2
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorI'm "Original long @HBO movie intro" years old https://t.co/poncVQgfoE
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorErin Burnett is on, so my pants are off https://t.co/O6nBPo1LJX
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes ImpersonatorHow I answer my door after the stimulus check post to my account https://t.co/JGZeUR21Wj
Retweeted by Larz - Professional John Holmes Impersonator
4/12
2021

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