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A riddle wrapped in a bap hidden under a duvet.

21 Following   2,433 Followers   2,636 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/24/10


I. CAN'T. DO. THIS. ANY. MORE. KILL ME. I'M TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO STAB MYSELF MY FUCKING SELF. KILL ME.During which time I told the only person I genuinely love and car about that I'm a piece of shit and deserve to die… https://t.co/xthjzhEN0eI spent two hours crying, yes I've been crying, yes I've been fucking crying, I don't know anything HA HA HA YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOTYOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT HA HA HAYOU IDIOTYOU FUCKING IDIOTHA HA HA HA HA YOU FUCKING IDIOTno I don't I'm clinically paranoid and depressed I had no idea and I thought I was being threatenedHAHAHAHAHA IT'S A PARODY ACCOUNT DON'T YOU SEE
2/5
2020
@paddy_magee "You reckon they let this fella back on Twitter, then?" https://t.co/gAFBobLRuO @fireh9lly @DrRobertZands I don't know who @DrRobertZands is. But if you've got over 4,000 followers, and you copy… https://t.co/sgfQtsEVzl @DrRobertZands @fireh9lly Another fucking tweet pirate. https://t.co/WvhxTwTG2s
2/4
2020
Amazing to think that the myth of Britain as "the plucky island-nation who stood alone and beat Hitler" is the thin… https://t.co/kBBPQmg9Kq
1/31
2020
@ithayla @ehorakova Similarly: the dodo was a pigeon that landed on an island with no land predators, evolved to wa… https://t.co/XFngguTE2j @MsPackyetti In the first draft of the first James Bond movie script, "Doctor No" was a monkey. @anisdaIa @ehorakova Well, a tortoise rather than a turtle. Specifically it's either Maggie or Jim, who were the "B… https://t.co/R5AGJquTnH @LillianLow That's his strength. Witnesses can never agree on a description. @ehorakova Sasa's like, "why does that woman always interfere in the running of my homeless shelter?" @LillianLow The meaning of "jellicle cats" is much less clear now they've removed the song about pollicle dogs. @LillianLow Some would say Idris Cat is *very* effable.
1/28
2020
"Chart of tyrannosaurus teleporter accidents." https://t.co/dArhTK6Ubq
1/24
2020
Whenever a church issues "guidance" for sex, I always think... https://t.co/slZJzKVmlENow wondering if it'd be possible to reconstruct the whole of "Cats" inside "Skyrim" using customised Khajiit chara… https://t.co/cGTq3TbK1c
1/23
2020
@fireh9lly Opportunity *and* motive. https://t.co/dQxHImMSBV
1/18
2020
@LookingForTelos These days "notifications" only gives you the number for the last few... days? Or weeks? Or someth… https://t.co/6ZtcWbWt1k
1/11
2020
@Shenaniglenns @ehorakova PRANCER: We're supposed to be reindeer, and yet, we can talk. And we understand the conce… https://t.co/sPyelIml1S"From her appearance, Watson, I deduce that the 'lady' is a confidence trickster of poor antecedents who has spent… https://t.co/l5RuTCYs0I
1/10
2020
The Director of Corporate Affairs at Carlton was David Cameron. This is what gave him enough clout to stand as part… https://t.co/p7L71ORZiU#Hootenanny I'm assuming that Stormzy wrote the line "trying to live my movie like I'm Idris" before "Cats" came ou… https://t.co/SvPxR0Ghep
1/1
2019
This is my favourite tweet of the decade, by the way. https://t.co/wsL2upL7qW"🪒" "Pardon?" "🪒" "I'm sorry, I don't...?" "IT'S A THREAT. I'M GONNA CUT U. 🪒" "You wrote that message using WhatsA… https://t.co/SrUmp7iPvG
12/31
2019
Neoliberals for my entire fucking lifetime: "Let's do everything possible to stifle debate." Neoliberals now that… https://t.co/cyBWf8Mldi
12/30
2019
Our TV culture now hangs on panel shows: celebrities are professionally obliged to be matey with other celebrities.… https://t.co/kNEPTCwEeKHave just learned that HTV made a telefantasy series for the American market called "She-Wolf of London" in which t… https://t.co/iguaEh8sny
12/28
2019
Look, I do appreciate that gravity's done some great work over the years. Planetary formation, stable orbits, all o… https://t.co/Nx3gqJEVSC
12/27
2019
And so we get to the end of Christmas Day. And you're all a bunch of weirdos, bless you. xx @njj4 I'm still hoping that "Wonder Woman 1984" will turn out to be an adaptation of "1984" set in the DC Universe.I've been on Twitter for nearly a decade and not once have I seen anyone try to argue that "Merry Christmas, Mr Law… https://t.co/2Bm9z97YiZ
12/25
2019
@fireh9lly Oh yeah, I remember those old adverts. https://t.co/7mAtVjRuOa
12/23
2019
Me, 2018: The attempt to make video games look like movies has led movies to copy games and reduced our expectation… https://t.co/0bD27SBUAx
12/22
2019
Our mistake was calling them "anti-vaxxers". Anything with an "x" in it looks cool, and we gave the bastards two of them.
12/21
2019
This is very true, but "Trans-Exclusionary Self-Centred Opportunism" turned out to have copyright problems. https://t.co/ScybT5E02F
12/19
2019
***Spoiler.*** The last line of "The Rise of Skywalker" is: "So, that's finally the end of these... STAR WARS."
12/18
2019
Re: last three tweets. Yes, I too am amazed at the ease with which I've managed to make things seem even worse.Even stranger to believe these people give a toss whether Johnson goes on "Today". He's "their" PM; he gets less po… https://t.co/yuXuW1XSm4I just find it a little strange that even now we all *know* how rotten the BBC is, we're still assuming its current… https://t.co/0XKh1B66jzPlease, everyone, just accept this: the individuals steering the BBC, especially in current affairs, were parachute… https://t.co/XVq9WYmqIR @fireh9lly So many of us... and yet not one of us has been able to find a single meaningful thing to say to any of… https://t.co/EYvaFV8X23
12/15
2019
https://t.co/nL4WLdYmZo
12/13
2019
(6/6) https://t.co/5ItwEgKJ4u(5/6) https://t.co/NaQ5iDfhLQ(4/6) https://t.co/MA9i4aG4bT(3/6) https://t.co/VYb1RoCxLV(2/6) https://t.co/G9Gr2W9cW8"The Problem with Jeremy Corbyn": about what really happened to British politics, what we *think* happened, and wha… https://t.co/4lFzEzWhiuI haven't done any massive threads in this election. So now it's officially over, I'd like to present this. (Only s… https://t.co/7Hj1kC4NuX @RefinedMicrobe Simon Bucher Jones rewrote the first chapter of "The Adventuress of Henrietta Street" in the style… https://t.co/wXXJqoXYJohttps://t.co/k18yemN5a9One last time: a reminder of this from the Labour manifesto. If there's an exact *opposite* of what the Conservati… https://t.co/u2TVUQUbmI
12/12
2019
@ehorakova The last line has to be read in the voice of a football commentator as the ball goes into the net. @ehorakova It's notable that people my age (and thanks to 4Extra, probably some younger ones) think of Carmichael a… https://t.co/VHCOyEd15tLike the old journalists' adage goes:. Dog bites man, that isn't news. Leftist dog bites man, that *is* news, eve… https://t.co/uix9Hxygtl
12/11
2019
The more I read about Corbyn's actual record, the more the attempt to smear him as antisemitic reminds me of the "B… https://t.co/SHNmXsoR7P
12/9
2019
@JackDunc1 I can *entirely* see why a younger generation than me went LibDem in the early 2000s, when Blair turned… https://t.co/EiXmqdNDELI know I keep saying it, but it's cripplingly, destructively true: LibDems *can't* reach an agreement with anyone t… https://t.co/Nqf35RHtGp*Please*, everybody: stop pretending the LibDems want anything other than to scoop up anti-Brexit Tories and become… https://t.co/W6bBK0htvATo the tune of "Don't Worry, Be Happy". #VoteToryGetNazis https://t.co/VD0XtogPKZ
12/8
2019
Summary: - Advised by white supremacists. - Links to fascist groups. - Deportation / confiscation of property for m… https://t.co/OL61GUJHLS
12/7
2019
@fireh9lly @SeanFranco_ @DWDrinkingGame @RefinedMicrobe See what's coming down on all our heads now that someone's… https://t.co/qEdSxqnVeQ @fireh9lly @SeanFranco_ @DWDrinkingGame @RefinedMicrobe I know it's the Oldster's Take, but McGann was the right ac… https://t.co/NTVMlpg0Ku @SeanFranco_ @DWDrinkingGame @RefinedMicrobe To me, saying "but McGann in Big Finish" is like saying "but Troughton… https://t.co/VuWNIPNL2o
12/6
2019
@fireh9lly "Postman Sam, Postman Sam, Postman Sam and his baby in a can. Early in the Stranding, life is so demandi… https://t.co/5aEGz66qU2This presumes that core Conservative voters don't *want* a dictatorship. They've lusted after a single-party Tory… https://t.co/SzuqbpG8xsHave only just found out that in 1939, Noël Coward wrote alternative lyrics for "Mad About the Boy" to be sung by a… https://t.co/lr0ellSeowJust tried to type "hypoglycemic" while recovering from a hypoglycemic fit, and somehow opened a Twitter box to sen… https://t.co/DxpI9xPTZp
12/5
2019
@fireh9lly Failed Sarah-Jane audition, sorry. They went for Sladen over you because you seemed "too harsh". On the… https://t.co/u5mn1CLHBO @BBCNews (By the way, I do recommend reading the article that Nick Robinson's pointing to with his emoji-fingers. I… https://t.co/X8sqCVoOnRNick Robinson, lifelong Conservative who accrued a then-record number of complaints as BBC Chief Political Editor f… https://t.co/fQs960g30S
12/4
2019
this video is going up in a bunch of places but here's mine: my take on the AS controversy and why intentionally fa… https://t.co/X3xgNgKa34
Retweeted by Lawrence Miles ⚫
12/3
2019
@ehorakova Statistically, one of these will be the missing weapon from an Edwardian murder case.If the combination of these two stories doesn’t make your blood run cold, I don’t know what will. https://t.co/wA8gGbHKeF
Retweeted by Lawrence Miles ⚫ @WestMagic Logically, the Ghost of Christmas Future should be the one wearing a Pokemon hoodie.When I saw Episode III, there was a group of boys two rows ahead. The youngest one tried to talk about "Phantom Men… https://t.co/5ShVb6Z7jh
12/2
2019
I saw it with three guys in their teens / twenties. We loved it. Came out squealing like kids. Six months later, t… https://t.co/tsV3HJvhKj
12/1
2019
@nikisketches @0nonoe Clicked this picture 100% expecting it to expand downwards rather than upwards and for Engels… https://t.co/Ek4Jc4V3GP @BBCNews Dear @BBCNews, dear @BBCLauraK... I know you think that helping "your" party is just A Little Bit of Polit… https://t.co/sqEB5vJm6GMy mother's 89. She went through WW2 listening to @BBCNews and thinks of it as the voice that sees you through the… https://t.co/Dnqsg70MeW @PetePisco To me, that's a Hell of recommendation. @Peston I apologise here. I shouldn't have said "deprive them of the means to live, as the Tories plan to do with T… https://t.co/o1YZUBEzQt @AVWoman This affair has been full of unexpected quotes. "Everyone was trying to get off the street, so I hid in th… https://t.co/egThnJs6rd @geekandahalf @ehorakova The word "hermit" seems poorly-chosen here.
11/30
2019
@toonsmag Wow, great! You bunch of fucking leeches who send your Twitter account after anyone who uses the word "ca… https://t.co/DzKoLfAMw8It's the ultimate in right-wing contrarianism. "Exposing a government's lies about a plan that will cause the death… https://t.co/35cT7PQmiD
11/28
2019
@fireh9lly Just save a bullet for me. @Cwejen He shagged a velociraptor?!?
11/27
2019

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