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Writer. Account mostly skritchy content. Work in Liminal Stories, Translunar Travellers Lounge, The Dark, Podcastle. Eugie Award finalist 2020. He/him.

1,295 Following   1,728 Followers   45,450 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/16/09


@effies well i'm just gonna state up front that i probably know more dog names than writer names @englishmace They help with the go faster https://t.co/5ZtPgdNoWOIs it time for walkies yet https://t.co/heexzE1ZESShould give fetches? https://t.co/YHIj2A2ATj
Retweeted by Team Two DogsAlways forget that jackfruit are such absolute units https://t.co/Hj7Ra7ZvhMThe black dog accepts your offering of skritchens https://t.co/VcfeQEmDf0
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs#SUBMISSIONS ARE OPEN! The portal has stretched wide its gaping maw until Dec 31 for your fantasy stories up to 6,0… https://t.co/7foIaRhXfg
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @mixbecca 5 miles is a lot. It is like half a half marathon! You go! Anything more than 1.5 miles for me is like... whaaaat @ninocipri https://t.co/jBDuktgbdK @her_nibsen @ninocipri Oh man back in the day we were like teenagers trying to kill each other in goldeneye 64. No… https://t.co/IHQ5Sm2EiUHes so dummy thicc that the clap of his add cheeks keeps alerting the guards https://t.co/vNBf2qiwklGraceful boi https://t.co/GlElBpiECUEverywhere I make comfortable - lukadog https://t.co/qVkzWDZAdhOther boi do a majestic https://t.co/2iz5lEcZs5Fast boi https://t.co/cb3BexUzhYPowerful zoomies https://t.co/hcFOFFXb87Should give fetches? https://t.co/YHIj2A2ATj @IoriKusano Yeah someone convinced me that apartment building pipes are old and grotty and he attributed his dogs l… https://t.co/A5XXWn8wJZOk imma stopTelly says stop tweeting and bring for walkies https://t.co/4zky6DTEEnLike brita jug filter, we don’t have a built in.Yes I filter the water for the dogs, just like my own water.I mean I love @PodCastle_org for their simsub policy, as a pro market and as something that creates more work for t… https://t.co/VgwVBLLdbr @chemelumadu @MattFnWallace @khaalidah Is that his favourite spot on the citadelThe black dog accepts your offering of skritchens https://t.co/VcfeQEmDf0 @lchanwrites Wiggle butts for the wiggle butt gods!
Retweeted by Team Two DogsGood story news! However, this marks the second time I had to take something out of Podcastle slush that was sims… https://t.co/0YMqCjSjr8 @MariaHaskins What about butttsss https://t.co/zOTeZwz91k @Gebraheel @_alexrowland Brothers-in-law as well. Unless you're married in multiple jurisdictions then it is broth… https://t.co/myR8muNYWb
12/5
2020
@Gebraheel @_alexrowland themsbos @_alexrowland something for the hims and the bims @_alexrowland himsboHappy birthday to the luminous Maria Haskins! A swell person and a pillar in the writing community and also an appr… https://t.co/TJfWGVv5Uq @Catrambo Flashback to the Internet cricket story @Aimee_Ogden 8 RM is the thing if you don't estimate it correctly the answer will definitely be off @sillysyntax I am man overboardWriters preparing to have their work critiqued https://t.co/ZJrGden0LB
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @AlexandraErin oh god not this jet fuel can't melt steel beams shit againWriters preparing to have their work critiqued https://t.co/ZJrGden0LB✨Award Eligibility Post✨ My short story, "One Song Ending," found the absolute perfect home in @ApparitionLit's fa… https://t.co/m4FQSOczz6
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @MarissaLingen @Wiswell People really lost a lot of driving manners during lockdownHello! Happy Friday! These my sons ready for walks https://t.co/FRtQDzG97zOne more time for those at the back https://t.co/TdunZGGxvp @dtmooreeditor Them Ass and The Mass are the same thing surelyNew story! The Skin of Aquila Cadens - Chris Panatier, @chrisjpanatier https://t.co/LylHDAn1oB
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @kurellian How about NuAt the 3/4 mark of the Ring (Japanese ver I think) the audience was mostly screamed out. Sadako appears in the refl… https://t.co/pwuiJtEFCA @itsneonyang https://t.co/winWCRPYzO @dtmooreeditor You'll be fine tomorrowAt the end of the Fellowship of the Ring, when Aragorn cut off Lutz’s head, one young punk clapped and said “Beauti… https://t.co/0ydPbnuIXlAs end credits began to roll on Infinity War, the audience sat in stunned silence for a few seconds...then the 14 y… https://t.co/dVQog6iBof
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @effies @ccfinlay I think you better look at the video again because that lifehack doesn’t seem to be working as expected @lerinjo https://t.co/3SxUSjlYYGWhere is the lie https://t.co/qaCqvzDxc7 @pelicanismo I mean its absolutely anachronistic with VHS ltapes and over the air broadcasts. Death to videodrome, long live the new flesh! @MattFnWallace https://t.co/FFnYWJDzHP @MattFnWallace https://t.co/CkPQ7EHZVg @pelicanismo I mean the theme isn't despair like requiem so you'll feel disturbed but not depressed @MattFnWallace https://t.co/D6TWa2RSxg @MattFnWallace I've gotta drive somewhere and I'm putting Iris on Spotify thanks fren @MattFnWallace https://t.co/XWke2g3oAf @pelicanismo Ooh how about videodrome @pelicanismo I hope that Mansell is getting royalties for the abuse of Lux Aerterna for all the action movie clipsConan’s bed is near the suit of armor & this is how he shows us that he wants scritches 😭 https://t.co/mjydceHezn
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @chemelumadu Sorry is not in Me Telly vocabulary does not compute @pelicanismo But that soundtrack for requiem though @pelicanismo Requiem for a dream just spirals worse and worse. I find nothing redeemable about Irreversible as well. @MattFnWallace Remember this was nick cage as of the rock and face off and where he was oddly considered for superman @MattFnWallace Hello fellow old because I love this song and its still on heavy repeat and city of angels was soft… https://t.co/mzYNKmMqM6 @MarissaLingen Mr Luka filled the entire corridor with his farts, it was so bad we thought kne kf them pooped somewhere @MattFnWallace I will come for you and yours https://t.co/iHAFe66HWS @MattFnWallace Mr Luka is a gentleman and he would never https://t.co/kfW0si3pDc @LauraJMG @ccfinlay @KateElliottSFF https://t.co/Xf9u8jWn21 @MattFnWallace No Mr Telly pooped on meYOU SON OF A BITCH https://t.co/WCuzQccPCt
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @MattFnWallace Mr Telly topped it @layangabi Goddamnit https://t.co/aHXLUNPWdH @KateLechler That was what I said @AlexandraErin Season 3: Isaac fights castlevania boss Trevor and Sypha fight castlevania bosses Alucard fucks. @AlexandraErin If anything, this cements Trevor's status as Chad and Alucard's status as fuckboi @AlexandraErin Super weird tactical decision to take Alucard when he is in his post nut clarity phaseMR TELLY POOPED ON MY TOE
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @wentzuponadream So spootyI pooped on father's toe and am not sorry https://t.co/6Zwz72kJhV“I need you and your mother to give me the daughters I should have had from the beginning,” the Dowager says. She a… https://t.co/uK5sQep1E2
Retweeted by Team Two DogsGenerally there was too much drama on the walk today and Mr Luka wasn't having it https://t.co/HDt94DMJv5
12/4
2020
@casskhaw The whole big toe cass, not the tip, like down to the toe knuckle? Is that what you called them @casskhaw MOTHERFUCKER https://t.co/Fd2TpQEU1P @casskhaw ANGY @casskhaw I don't have a picture but it wasnt a piece of poop that rolled off. My toe looked like it had been fonduedYOU SON OF A BITCH https://t.co/WCuzQccPCtMR TELLY POOPED ON MY TOEHe stuck his head under the curtain XJDISHEJUF I cant take it https://t.co/rhbMfTw1Z2Look at his chonky butt i love my son https://t.co/uHho3q5lq8He did a snug into the corner and got caught https://t.co/OBEF1NIqcv @JMYaLes Writers understandFor all writers who receive personal rejections after a hold notice https://t.co/FyKewABfuoThis story came out last year, but it got tweeted back into my timeline and I wanted to share it again: https://t.co/Q7t4pzeydF
Retweeted by Team Two DogsSaid magnificent short stories were written by @AtGreenblatt, @deuceofgears, @Wiswell, @ac_wise, @FoxesandRoses,… https://t.co/JT3Um9iLGr
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs
12/3
2020

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