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Writer. Account mostly skritchy content. Work in Liminal Stories, Translunar Travellers Lounge, The Dark, Podcastle. Eugie Award finalist 2020. He/him.

1,295 Following   1,728 Followers   45,450 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/16/09

@effies well i'm just gonna state up front that i probably know more dog names than writer names @englishmace They help with the go faster it time for walkies yet give fetches?
Retweeted by Team Two DogsAlways forget that jackfruit are such absolute units black dog accepts your offering of skritchens
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs#SUBMISSIONS ARE OPEN! The portal has stretched wide its gaping maw until Dec 31 for your fantasy stories up to 6,0…
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @mixbecca 5 miles is a lot. It is like half a half marathon! You go! Anything more than 1.5 miles for me is like... whaaaat @ninocipri @her_nibsen @ninocipri Oh man back in the day we were like teenagers trying to kill each other in goldeneye 64. No… so dummy thicc that the clap of his add cheeks keeps alerting the guards boi I make comfortable - lukadog boi do a majestic boi zoomies give fetches? @IoriKusano Yeah someone convinced me that apartment building pipes are old and grotty and he attributed his dogs l… imma stopTelly says stop tweeting and bring for walkies brita jug filter, we don’t have a built in.Yes I filter the water for the dogs, just like my own water.I mean I love @PodCastle_org for their simsub policy, as a pro market and as something that creates more work for t… @chemelumadu @MattFnWallace @khaalidah Is that his favourite spot on the citadelThe black dog accepts your offering of skritchens @lchanwrites Wiggle butts for the wiggle butt gods!
Retweeted by Team Two DogsGood story news! However, this marks the second time I had to take something out of Podcastle slush that was sims… @MariaHaskins What about butttsss @Gebraheel @_alexrowland Brothers-in-law as well. Unless you're married in multiple jurisdictions then it is broth…
@Gebraheel @_alexrowland themsbos @_alexrowland something for the hims and the bims @_alexrowland himsboHappy birthday to the luminous Maria Haskins! A swell person and a pillar in the writing community and also an appr… @Catrambo Flashback to the Internet cricket story @Aimee_Ogden 8 RM is the thing if you don't estimate it correctly the answer will definitely be off @sillysyntax I am man overboardWriters preparing to have their work critiqued
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @AlexandraErin oh god not this jet fuel can't melt steel beams shit againWriters preparing to have their work critiqued✨Award Eligibility Post✨ My short story, "One Song Ending," found the absolute perfect home in @ApparitionLit's fa…
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @MarissaLingen @Wiswell People really lost a lot of driving manners during lockdownHello! Happy Friday! These my sons ready for walks more time for those at the back @dtmooreeditor Them Ass and The Mass are the same thing surelyNew story! The Skin of Aquila Cadens - Chris Panatier, @chrisjpanatier
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @kurellian How about NuAt the 3/4 mark of the Ring (Japanese ver I think) the audience was mostly screamed out. Sadako appears in the refl… @itsneonyang @dtmooreeditor You'll be fine tomorrowAt the end of the Fellowship of the Ring, when Aragorn cut off Lutz’s head, one young punk clapped and said “Beauti… end credits began to roll on Infinity War, the audience sat in stunned silence for a few seconds...then the 14 y…
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @effies @ccfinlay I think you better look at the video again because that lifehack doesn’t seem to be working as expected @lerinjo is the lie @pelicanismo I mean its absolutely anachronistic with VHS ltapes and over the air broadcasts. Death to videodrome, long live the new flesh! @MattFnWallace @MattFnWallace @pelicanismo I mean the theme isn't despair like requiem so you'll feel disturbed but not depressed @MattFnWallace @MattFnWallace I've gotta drive somewhere and I'm putting Iris on Spotify thanks fren @MattFnWallace @pelicanismo Ooh how about videodrome @pelicanismo I hope that Mansell is getting royalties for the abuse of Lux Aerterna for all the action movie clipsConan’s bed is near the suit of armor & this is how he shows us that he wants scritches 😭
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @chemelumadu Sorry is not in Me Telly vocabulary does not compute @pelicanismo But that soundtrack for requiem though @pelicanismo Requiem for a dream just spirals worse and worse. I find nothing redeemable about Irreversible as well. @MattFnWallace Remember this was nick cage as of the rock and face off and where he was oddly considered for superman @MattFnWallace Hello fellow old because I love this song and its still on heavy repeat and city of angels was soft… @MarissaLingen Mr Luka filled the entire corridor with his farts, it was so bad we thought kne kf them pooped somewhere @MattFnWallace I will come for you and yours @MattFnWallace Mr Luka is a gentleman and he would never @LauraJMG @ccfinlay @KateElliottSFF @MattFnWallace No Mr Telly pooped on meYOU SON OF A BITCH
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @MattFnWallace Mr Telly topped it @layangabi Goddamnit @KateLechler That was what I said @AlexandraErin Season 3: Isaac fights castlevania boss Trevor and Sypha fight castlevania bosses Alucard fucks. @AlexandraErin If anything, this cements Trevor's status as Chad and Alucard's status as fuckboi @AlexandraErin Super weird tactical decision to take Alucard when he is in his post nut clarity phaseMR TELLY POOPED ON MY TOE
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs @wentzuponadream So spootyI pooped on father's toe and am not sorry“I need you and your mother to give me the daughters I should have had from the beginning,” the Dowager says. She a…
Retweeted by Team Two DogsGenerally there was too much drama on the walk today and Mr Luka wasn't having it
@casskhaw The whole big toe cass, not the tip, like down to the toe knuckle? Is that what you called them @casskhaw MOTHERFUCKER @casskhaw ANGY @casskhaw I don't have a picture but it wasnt a piece of poop that rolled off. My toe looked like it had been fonduedYOU SON OF A BITCH TELLY POOPED ON MY TOEHe stuck his head under the curtain XJDISHEJUF I cant take it at his chonky butt i love my son did a snug into the corner and got caught @JMYaLes Writers understandFor all writers who receive personal rejections after a hold notice story came out last year, but it got tweeted back into my timeline and I wanted to share it again:
Retweeted by Team Two DogsSaid magnificent short stories were written by @AtGreenblatt, @deuceofgears, @Wiswell, @ac_wise, @FoxesandRoses,…
Retweeted by Team Two Dogs