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lindsay @LeisureSuitLinz North Canton, OH

I should have peed before I left the house. // PSN: LeisureSuitLinzy // she/her

469 Following   367 Followers   10,450 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/31/08

@sheriffkevin I'm forever a Marc's-istQuickest $0.25 on napkins I've ever spent I'm ready. morning! happy Monday!! A ridiculous and beautiful Geralt bathtub figure is on sale at Amazon!!!($51.10, down…
Retweeted by lindsay @kathbarbadoro Was this the trip where you were attacked by one of the animals?? @AndrewGebbia WHAT. A. GOOD. GIRL.
@goodnewsnetwork @meeklexilight this feels like something tailor made for you❤️ My happy family, the Father's Day a month before I came into the world. ❤️ you have a 3 year gap on your resume that just says “vengeance” me: interviewer: me: you don’t remember me do you?
Retweeted by lindsayClobber is such a great word.
2019 Howard Fern is thriving while an Act of God has decidedly smote Fernie Sanders.
I was going for a tropical effect but I guess now I can develop a Resident Evil/zombie contagion wax melt. @Chickadeeeeedee @balu There's one at work and I've asked if he can make a Bioshock splicer mask for me. 🤞 @EmmiEmmiBoBemmi 😅😅😅🍭🍭🍭
Margot has been taking lil steps lately (like 3-4) before face/buttplanting and I just found out that for the low l… @sheriffkevin Is a shark sandwich a vague but menacing threat??I was starting to have fanciful thoughts about Violet being placed in the "gifted" (🙄) preschool class after her sc… @sheriffkevin I wonder if he's still gonna be an optional party member?? And if you'll have to jump through all the same hoops to get him?I'm going to lose my mind when the Turks are revealed.'s sad as hell that Milli Vanilli, Nelly and Liza Minnelli never made a super group called Milli Minnelli Vanelly
Retweeted by lindsay"like"tfw you see something you like and Walmart is like, "you seem like a nice Large Male Child!"
@wormsRgross Ahahaha what's great is that it's Rapture!Oooooh new tingz comin to the shop soon got 'gigolo' and 'juggalo' mixed up in my brain and MAN was that a wild secondHad some strong cold brew coffee and then two benadryl so now my nervous system is a battle royale @MillyTamarez To be fair, he DID make me laugh.In celebration of ff7 remake here’s one of my favorite gifs
Retweeted by lindsay @sammylux I couldn't even make it the whole way through. 😳My hometown's school district made a pro-reading video (brave stance) and it is so embarrassing I felt my soul leav… @kathbarbadoro A real cocksuckin' dreamboat. 😍 @Raichiyo33 Omg @meeklexilight @Ha_biscuit🎵 Zombies that ate, ate, ate, zaymbays ate my neighbears Zombies that eat, eat, eat, zeembees eat my neerbeers 🎵 @meeklexilight @Ha_biscuit YUP
@kohlgrrl Butt out, lounging, eating couch snacks. animal crossing multiplayer demonstration, neither player is beating the shit out of the other with the butterfly net
Retweeted by lindsayThe rumors are true - Andy Capp is coming to Smash #NintendoDirectE3
Retweeted by lindsaylove how nonchalantly nintendo just demolishes E3 every single time
Retweeted by lindsay @dasharez0ne How did you do thatGOOIGICongratulations to @briangaar for this very Dragon Quest heavy #E32019 @itsashleyoh YOUR TIME HAS COME @briangaar I became a "cheer at the TV" person.Omfg the updated FFVII boss music!!! 😭happy one year anniversary to the greatest evidence of ghosts this world has ever witnessed
Retweeted by lindsay
This sounds like if Richard Dreyfuss was trying to quickly make up an alibi and panicked. would very much like the robotics expert grandma game!!!I will 1000% be playing Genesis Noir.PC gaming show starting off with one of the worst concepts I've ever heard: challenging the Twitch chat to make "cl… of being a hermit like she's used to, I had the audacity to take TWO WHOLE DAYS of doing craft shows. Now w…
@dunkindonuts Vf9Now I want a cinnamon sugar soft pretzel.
@Ha_biscuit I already forget her name but the flower one and her evolution are TO DIE FOR.Guuuuuhhhh Sword and Shield look like everything I'd hoped a console Pokémon title could be. The multi-player featu…
@itsdapoleece @sheriffkevin We're actually planning on knocking out the wall that our tp holder is mounted to somet… @sheriffkevin There isn't a single toilet paper holder I own that would fit that!
OH GOOD. on the positive
Retweeted by lindsay @canoegirl83 That has to be awful!! 🙁
@sheriffkevin Crack smoking, crack wiping. Wish has you covered!Guess there's something about my lifestyle that targeted ads are like, "I bet this lady has a tiny butthole and is… @balu HAHAHAHAHAI've never instantly hated someone more than the guy in front of me in traffic today driving a convertible BMW with… @taeneryst Omg I got those when I went off wellbutrin cold turkey years ago! This feels kinda similar but more mild, for sure.
I'd pay my last dollar for Timothy Olyphant to smoulder at me.
Dan Harmon making this feels like the cosmos just whipped this up for me, specifically.
My favorite Memorial Day tradition has to be waking up at 6:30pm unsure of where your pants went.
@EmmiEmmiBoBemmi Also I saw your FUTURE HUSBAND (!!!) walking Walter on our way home. Hopefully gonna get my stomac… @EmmiEmmiBoBemmi 😭❤️❤️❤️Y'ALL. I'm officially going to be producing a candle line exclusive to my hometown's new art gallery. I am insuffer… @LissySandwich Used to have a funny old lady come into the pharmacy with the last name Foote and she definitely cal… energy @Alabamurai Yes! Also trying to get the most out of the HBO subscription now that GoT is over. @Alabamurai Yes! Still just two eps in because I want my dude to catch up with me, but I've never been so stressed…
Also, these acting performances are insane.It took me two full hour long episodes of Deadwood to realize I was watching Nick Offerman. HOW.Hi Friday friends
Today I set myself free from the konmari underwear folding shenanigans and YOU. CAN. TOO! (This tweet brought to y… @balu when will you be here, you good boy? I want to take you and @wormsRgross for beers.Oldest kiddo is going to be 4 in July. She's asking for a play workbench and tools and claims that her favorite col…
Got lost for a half hour hauling 45 lbs of children in a wagon IN MY OWN NEIGHBORHOOD so I guess that begins and en…
I just wanna say I hope they match me with whoever got Bungus because I'm going to absolutely take their ass to tow… @thesnagglewolf THANK YOU. @sheriffkevin TakenI fully do not understand what's happening here've spent the last 20 minutes getting progressively more irritated as every dumb username I can think of FOR MOBILE SOLITAIRE is taken
Not sure what anybody else's metric of parental success is, but in my household we're celebrating my 10 month old c…
@sheriffkevin REALLY!? YESSSSSSS
@sheriffkevin Merlin's Apprentice. It's a magical ride where you go round and round and pedal to go higher and then… shit my pants on a ride at Legoland AMA
@sheriffkevin Oh bummer dude! I hope you got rescheduled soon. @McNarnia Noted!! Thank you. 😘 Also, I'm so sorry I missed you while you were nearby! I hope Cleveland was good to you.
@McNarnia I'm gonna need you to send me all your 🍃🌿plant lady vibes🌿🍃 because this is my first indoor plant and it's a doozy. @sheriffkevin Mine was mostly a mistake. Forgot until it was nearly time, then chickened out.His name is Howard Fern and between my skipped therapy and his looks, we have our work cut out for us. Buddy comedy… my first therapy session and went to adopt a free fern from someone on NextDoor instead.