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Live • Laugh • Lick • Llamas

3,648 Following   5,874 Followers   54,615 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/18/19


@filloryqueenA 😃
1/19
2021
Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candle exploded and Trump is pardoning Lil Wayne. Someone please reboot the matrix. It's misbehaving.
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamaskind of lame that crossing time zones is the closest thing we have to time traveling
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @bkayetwit @Thespookykiwi Love it thoA blooming onion is like some men. It seems like a delicious idea at first but when it’s done, you’re so sorry you ever did it
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasThe words, “I’m going to Home Depot” from my husband give me a roller coaster of emotions: 1. Yes! I’ll get a few… https://t.co/yvsu4aBgRO
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasAlice: I’m late. White Rabbit: Haha, that’s my line Alice: White Rabbit: Alice: *stares* White Rabbit: oh shit
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasMy husband is fixing the toilet and I can’t remember if I’m supposed to call the plumber after hearing “oh crap!” ten times or twenty times
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @sweetmomissa *aggressively browses the Home Depot website* @RiotGrlErin Peanut butter ranch?pbr stands for you’re not hip enough to know what pbr stands for.
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasNobody: My 5-year-old: Mommies have eggs and daddies have perms. Smash them together and they make a giant baby t… https://t.co/ArvZH6oVZh
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @sweetmomissa I feel attackedWelcome to middle age - you ask for home improvement store gift cards for your birthday now.
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasThe Telephone of the Wind is a disconnected telephone in the woods, left there for anyone who needs to talk to some… https://t.co/P0bb44WXOF
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasAm I down with civil rights? Heck yeah I am. I'm usually civil and always right.
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasManscaping in your 40's is just endlessly trimming your nose hair
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasI've challenged The Rock to a wrestling match. I'll be turning up with a massive sheet of paper.
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasWhat do people whose car is covered in bumper stickers want from us?
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @VikingJonesy I’ve seen a rash of theseAutocorrect changed “herpes” to “heroes”, which makes sense because you’re all herpes to me
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @Readwhenstoned @bubbly_snoflake Several forms... but one god @hollsiemo May the spork be with youThe inventor of the spork is our one true godHER: Babe, you want me to do that thing you like? ME: You mean find true happiness and feel unconditionally loved? Yes
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasI'll pay you $100 to come to my house and get me out of bed by 9am Anyone- easy money! YES Me- I just need you to… https://t.co/LgLXzZAIc6
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasBailiff: ‘Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?’ Me: ‘I do. Your breath is terrible, by the way.’
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamasno offense but i feel like different cities with different costs of living should have different minimum wages
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamasvirginia is for lovers west virginia is for lowvers
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @DanicaReaves 🤣😂 @DanicaReaves It’s a dumb ruleWhy do the Browns wear orange jerseys? I digress. They were robbed on that illegal helmet play.
1/18
2021
Hot bunny shit. https://t.co/asmb4Nw7JA
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasFriend: Don't you have any shame? Me, eating the last of shame: What?
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamasher: i'm not really in the mood him: what if i bang on a gong, would that help
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamasyou’re doing hot girl shit. i’m doing stay in bed, stare at my phone, lazy girl shit. we are not the same
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasEver had a minor panic attack because you’re in your first new relationship in more than 20 years? No? Just me? Coo… https://t.co/lx5IjfdPbY
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @erichwithach Bad poop is the worstWorse?
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasSome internet incel read a tweet about my son and his GF and asked me if I'll let my grandkids call me Grandma and… https://t.co/GTqvJIOqcL
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamasthe rich are like "I deserve my money I work hard" when they sit in air conditioned offices with nuclear internet speed and an assistant lol
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasI refuse to click on a fleet because then you’ll know I looked at it and I don’t want you to think I like you.
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasI just found myself on the toilet peeling a banana because I live with tiny tyrants
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasI've got a meeting next week where I need to appear emotionally stable. What do those people look like?
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasHad a dream that my boyfriend cheated on me so I guess I have to cancel my plans and spend the day burning his favourite items.
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasPeople that don't take everything so serious are becoming an endangered species
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasCEO of nothing but regretting.
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @BeckQuerels 🤣😂🤣 @BeckQuerels GEEZ JUST ASKING @candice_counsel ...and everyone’s taking a poundingA cute hamster implies the existence of a cute turkeyster
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @tulobh SquarrelsDo squirrels quarrel?
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasBetty White should run for president in 2024
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @mom_tho Dammit — it doesn’t cancel it out?idk who* needs to hear this but putting a scoop of protein powder in your otherwise sugar ladened smoothie doesn’t make it healthy *its me
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasMy kid made a meme and it's perfect. https://t.co/P6dJ8Drphk
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasTECHNICALLY I WASN’T BREAKING IN BECAUSE IT’S THE PEOPLE’S HOUSE AND WE PAY FOR IT WITH OUR TAX DOLLARS https://t.co/o6TNMxJhPd
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasMe, pointing at your baby: I think your potato just barked
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasHappy 99th Birthday, Betty White: Thread https://t.co/GJuejIZz42
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasShit! I’m late for my hand model Zoom. https://t.co/nGWX2ZCkXI
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @mxmclain Call the fire department!!!They are gonna have to Gilbert Grape him out of the White House.
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasMy favourite lockdown activity is looking at all the amazing things other people have achieved and wondering why I’m so lazy
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas...and slippery ...people are taking a pounding*during sex* ...these are HARD timesThe fear of someone walking away shouldn't stop you from loving ~
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasThat's funny! Don't tell me another one.
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @BeckQuerels Is it also furry?I flirt like a cat... with my butt in your face
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasThe signs getting their picture taken 📸 Check your 🌞, rising, and venus! https://t.co/z7WTuUeQDw
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamasmachine gun kelly hates the 2020s so much that he's taking the music industry back to the punk 2000s and honestly sure why not
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasEarthworms are just savory gummy worms
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasI am at my most awkward when tasting from a spoon held by someone else.
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas
1/17
2021
We’ll have our Sentient Chimi Special Operations Team (SCSOT) in strategic locations around the Capitol over the ne… https://t.co/3V2MR8SNJW
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasJust got the Moderna vaccine that was developed in Massachusetts and apparently an unfortunate side effect of the m… https://t.co/os0ai52e9q
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas“Live, laugh, love” no, I want to make signs that are helpful, something like “wallet, keys, cell phone charger”
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @mom_tho Inspirationalafter brushing out her tangles my daughter exclaimed she was “prettier than a hippo in a dress” and it is hereby my daily mantra
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasPrime numbers are not divisible by 2. Amazon Prime items arrive in 2 days. Coincidence? Ask the Illuminati
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasI sit like Smaug atop my mountain of glittering likes
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasMy 7 year old in one breath: Mommy I love you does it hurt to die?” Who needs sleep anyway, right?
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasYou can’t break something that’s already broken.
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasBREAKING—The window-breacher of the Capitol siege has been arrested—a Proudboy member named Dominic ‘Spazzo’ Pezzol… https://t.co/DbOVU9QMx5
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasMentally i’m here https://t.co/Dm10WPxJgu
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @Mom_Overboard Yes!!!! ❤️ @Mom_Overboard Like... NOW DAMMIT @Mom_Overboard I like my meth instructions all in one place LOLthought about cooking meth but i got tired of scrolling through blog posts to get to the recipes
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasNext tine someone tells me that because I’m an actor I shouldn’t say my political opinions I am going to remind the… https://t.co/0Bfk77KlQK
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @mxmclain Bushy-tailed is def my favoriteIs bright eyed and bushy tailed two separate categories on Pornhub?
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasAnxiety is just your brain on hot sauce
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasYou all can joke that 2021 has nothing to offer us, but GrubHub is now delivering Girl Scout cookies.
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas @zebrasyndicate Mama say mama sa mamancusaJust bought Michael Jackson’s old stove https://t.co/CeQ9cHJkrL
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamastwitter: who still up and who drunk people who work weekends, already an hour into their morning shift: https://t.co/p4CzwES4Ln
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasI woke up early, but I wanted to sleep longer. I put on a sleep mask and concentrated on slowing my breathing. Then… https://t.co/yH9WCG38rf
Retweeted by Llama in PyjamasOk. I got a fancy dress zoom tonight what should I go as
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamasif you were actually "married af" you'd be on your shared facebook account
Retweeted by Llama in Pyjamas
1/16
2021

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