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Lamont Price @LPizzle Somewhere in my head

Standup comedian. Licensed Bootyologist. Connect 4 and Super Mario Kart Champion. I have an afro and I'm great on clay. Rap Game Barnaby Jones

1,940 Following   4,468 Followers   181,359 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/23/09


Mahershala Ali already got the rings (and more on the way). Now he's about to lead the league in scoring https://t.co/OWCKrgBM3N @MBibs Dude had a button down tucked into his jeans. You ain't winning a fight in brunch clothes @HeyRatty Had one delivered to me onstage the other night. LET'S GOOOOO!!! https://t.co/RLufUuZGi7I think this is a passage from Macbeth https://t.co/l9E7w5ClAsI don't even wanna know who is playing Dr. Doom. Don't say a word about him. I just wanna jump out my seat when he finally shows upMarvel can't announce EVERYBODY otherwise how will you lose your shit when Dr. Doom pops up in a post credit scene?Doctor Strange and Scarlet Witch tinkering around the Multiverse??? Could ... this ... be ... the ... way ... they… https://t.co/M6K9atOCYg @LaMottJackson This is purely my own speculation/prediction @BAKKOOONN Such a fun characterDoctor Strange is as underrated as he his important. ExtremelySo I'm friends with the woman who manages my neighborhood Dollar Tree and she tells me the Halloween displays hit t… https://t.co/QUEyJJFgZoGuys, buckle up, we're getting Marvel movies for the next 50 years. You have no idea. Take it from a comic book ner… https://t.co/koFB8tZN79They said Blade is bringing back leather jackets in the summerNiggas will be dressed like villainous Jodeci members and I cannot wait https://t.co/22vPDPgDmb
Retweeted by Lamont PriceI'm bout to learn the flute, then walk around playing just to have ya'll run up just to see the look of disappointm… https://t.co/7bRxh2Hu2n
Retweeted by Lamont PriceWhen Spider-Man and The Punisher show up in a Blade post credit scene >>>>>>>>>A white person is gonna "invent" collard greens one day and I'm gonna start swinging on everybody https://t.co/s8z3oy5qFJBrian Tyree Henry in the Eternals? I'm glad homie is killin it but this means we ain't EVER getting another episode… https://t.co/3scjOjCK7YSo this is what you stopped the presses for? To complain about people who rightfully combat the many injustices in… https://t.co/PWgEwunEm0This is the worst fight in nail salon history. A FLYING CRANE KICK, FAM??? Into the plants??? https://t.co/Ln2xhZ0H9eSo y'all just not gonna add the Dr. Who theme? https://t.co/EmSFga0phU @MissDollyLeigh Ummm so then don'tListen to more jazzThat hammer is bigger than Natalie Portman @MissDollyLeigh I dunno if I wanna tell you. I don't want to put that visual in your headThis is very disrespectful. Washed? I’d like to see you get your ass out there with them... https://t.co/jFw5rNrocH
Retweeted by Lamont PriceWatched this 500 times and I still don't know how he did this https://t.co/zcEdhzqAIgLooks like #SDCC2019 is showing its entire ass this yearThere’s just one more thing... #SDCC https://t.co/0Q3F4AZJLg
Retweeted by Lamont Price @elviscollins 😂😂😂 @MBibs There's a lot to process but they didn't tell us EVERYTHING, which is really exciting because they've just t… https://t.co/VVtSc3kj8QFrom March https://t.co/cGmtr1XjHiThis is why you can't listen to someone judging comedy who isn't a comedian. They don't know what the fuck they're… https://t.co/pb1F7YYuC9 @HeyRatty Hahaha. All night? @MissDollyLeigh I almost ran outta the storewhat’s wild about people telling me to go back to Africa is that I have mad cribs back in Mauritania and inherited… https://t.co/bK9JWDKrl0
Retweeted by Lamont PriceI've had "Don't Say Goodnight" by the Isley Brothers stuck in my head for 3 daysGuys I have been awful onstage for the last few months. Awful. I promise to do betterWHAT? X-MEN AND FANTASTIC FOUR TEASE??? DON'T TOY WITH MY EMOTIONS!!!Btw Mahershala Ali is EXCELLENT casting as Blade. I just need to know what this means for the Netflix shows or it means anything at allARE THE MARVEL NETFLIX SHOWS CANON OR NOT? I JUST WANT AN ANSWERI'm sorely disappointed in all of you that Wesley Snipes isn't at least trending out of respect for the legendLemme get home and examine the news from the Marvel panel because I'm way too excited to be in public right now#whyilovephilly | Ohhh making my way downtown...👀 #Andrer3000. He said he’s only been here two days and he apprecia… https://t.co/2daRBvw0I4
Retweeted by Lamont Price🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿 https://t.co/9dfEd6e4uK
7/21
2019
I don't know who needs to hear this but, whatever you do, never eat the prepared foods in the supermarket that they… https://t.co/lZ4wNlLyi6Oh hey! I'm on this podcast. If you ever wanted to hear me talk about my werewolf obsession this is the place https://t.co/LTMfw1Y3Ze
Retweeted by Lamont PriceTonight #Boston’s best #comedy show returns with a #hilarious lineup! • @LPizzle (#Hulu + #2DopeQueens) •… https://t.co/zm0CvOFXG0
Retweeted by Lamont PriceMy wife let me price the yard sale CDs. . . . . . . #vanhalen https://t.co/Yp6UPPErSl
Retweeted by Lamont PriceI'm so jealous I wasn't there https://t.co/lPyNJq8BmoI'm having a seat and basking in the coolness https://t.co/lDqBS0bLPDRegina King? Ok, I'm in https://t.co/gxqbwFOFh9Shout out to the top 5 asses in the world, punk, dumb, broke, smart and pain in the.
Retweeted by Lamont PriceMe standing in waiting for a Serena serve https://t.co/kKFCmyZSdeSerena The 🐐 https://t.co/O7sfA6i6DRAnytime someone wants to buy me a present I'm just gonna be like get me an uber gift cardI would say so! https://t.co/6sM64cn04iI think this person is calling me stupid and you know what? Probably right https://t.co/jzgUOZv7FSBrady Holmes Moss & Holt Gates I'm eating EVERYBODY https://t.co/qZzXmSsNaKThis is great https://t.co/OuMr7SVjzd @DSuds WHAT ARE WE DOING, DEREK?!?If you buy a peanut butter twix the store clerk should be required by law to ask "you DO know that's the peanut butter one, right?"
Retweeted by Lamont PriceHow come America didn't take the word "wanker" from the British? I think I could have some real fun with that word… https://t.co/IhQB9qItct
Retweeted by Lamont Price @cottonmanifesto TO THE AIRPORT!!! https://t.co/9in9rsada7 @ParisKnightXXX This is the saddest GIF of all time 😂COMBATICONS TRANSFORM! AND MERGE INTO BRUTICUS!!How come America didn't take the word "wanker" from the British? I think I could have some real fun with that word… https://t.co/IhQB9qItct @missvanessacage Wanna do some comedy? 🤔If you buy a peanut butter twix the store clerk should be required by law to ask "you DO know that's the peanut butter one, right?"You know how shitty my "summer camp" was when I was 9? The BIG surprise day was everyone getting a free Twix. A peanut butter Twix.
Retweeted by Lamont Price @brianna_rosexxx Wait. Is THIS the mystery? Did you already get a peek of the case load? Does this mean you're in?Don't just like my awesomeness, @brianna_rosexxx. We got mysteries to solve. Let's get started. We have a heavy cas… https://t.co/qin21HybeyCan't sleep won't sleepSeems the only person on the entire planet up this late and on Twitter like me is @brianna_rosexxx. I wonder if she… https://t.co/BDzvf9T8L6Dude. What is the name of that shit you smoking? Because I need some now https://t.co/bsCb3SzeyoPsst! Butts be growingWhy is the urgency here so funny to me? https://t.co/8gKM1IXggkWhat? https://t.co/SNqHjISb3t @asspenrose I told jokes outside by a fire pit and the bartender delivered slush daiquiris to me onstage. Does that count as productive? @nagibc Yo I roasted that kid AND the driver for the entire ride because of it. To their facesI think 90% of all late night street construction or whatever they call it is alien coverup @livwildx I ... don't know what that means https://t.co/wJuC2aqx3EAre they all gonna exist in the same world? Like Max and Pete Junior are gonna be walking down the street and rando… https://t.co/9KD6Hq5vdVARE WE DOING THIS??? ARE WE? ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS??? LETS GOOOOOOOOOO!!! https://t.co/ebRLWjZCdUDid someone say the ENTIRE Disney Afternoon was coming back??? @whitneywrightx Is this the promo photo for your new MTV reality show?NAMOR??????????? https://t.co/rBbyVsHvmsAt my second show. It's outdoors and kinda cool. But why are there kids here??? These kids are about to learn some new words tonightWe need to just face the facts that we don't know a thing about these animals https://t.co/7M72lQnq33
Retweeted by Lamont PriceRun The Snacks @BostonMagazine #BestOfBoston2019 https://t.co/ivsnBXdIVF
Retweeted by Lamont PriceBrought 3 notebooks to my show tonight. Going thru them to pick out some new stuff I want to try and I realized the… https://t.co/k0IupOUw2NI need foodChameleon with a toy sword https://t.co/IatEdnumiX
Retweeted by Lamont PriceSuperstar over here https://t.co/ge1Dbh4prd
7/20
2019
In an uberpool. 2 guys just got in. One told the driver he "forgot" to add that their were 2 passengers. Now there… https://t.co/TAACOYtK6LI'm outside! And it's thick out hereWhat the fuck is "pop"? It's SODA! You midwest muffuckas weirdosMe looking at people who say "pop". https://t.co/MPAIfKcLqD
Retweeted by Lamont Pricewhen you hear “let him shoot” when the ball in yo hands. https://t.co/sdlIwCZWI5
Retweeted by Lamont PriceLook like somebody president https://t.co/NCDHayQKEH
Retweeted by Lamont Price
7/19
2019

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