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Lamont Price @LPizzle Somewhere in my head

Standup comedian. Licensed Bootyologist. Connect 4 and Super Mario Kart Champion. I have an afro and I'm great on clay. The King Of R&B

1,908 Following   4,259 Followers   173,669 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/23/09

This is stupid and marshmallows are stupid @LPizzle I see you on that flyer man. 🤜🤛
Retweeted by Lamont PriceWE OUT HERE! 🙌🏿👊🏿 niggas really 1980s cartoon villains hate Shawn Michaels but this is dope @deveautrain @CityWineryBOS Oh why thank you 🙏🏿 @SerenaSkaii You can trust cookies. You really canThey let white dudes in suits do and say anything @deveautrain @CityWineryBOS Thank you! Now I just gotta get people to show up 😂"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, YOU'RE cool and fuck you! I'm out!" promised a 4/20 announcement and I will deliver a 4/20 announcement! I'm doing a show at @CityWineryBOS on Sat, 4… know we light on troops when Pepper and Happy make the "MOUNT UP!" poster #AvengersEndgame we fighting, Tiff? *cracks knuckles*, @SLUTSAUCEKHLOE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! @AuthorNinaPerez Avengers: Oh Y'all Got This! @MBibs I don't understand human beings, famAvenge The Chillin' Tut was stuntin' on em!'m fin've never had $7,000 in my life. This family EATING @theGregJohnson 😂😂😂I don't fuck with anybody with slander for Arya Stark. How DARE you??? Who ARE you??? Kneel before your faceless queenniggas really slandering arya.... how u don’t like arya..... even tywin liked arya...... tywin don’t even like his…
Retweeted by Lamont PriceBtw whoever it was that synced Stephen A Smith screaming up with H-Town's "Knockin' Boots" is a damn American hero"WE GOT A PROBLEM!", I haven't had a woman interested in me for, well never in my life, and this girl just like me on Bumble. Cool… Paul. Stop making it so easy for them 😂 I'm gonna need you to take the reins on this 2019 stuff. I'm still bogged down in 1996 businessThis week has been 365 days longOk this is dope, what? good friend Ato Clark said YEARS ago that Batman would never kill his enemies. Why? Job security Coulier wrote this
Retweeted by Lamont PriceI'm only listening to The Whispers all summer time to see what breakfast spots near me deliver because I don't feel like cooking and I have a monster craving… waited his whole life to say that publicly Coulier wrote this THE WILMINGTON MARKET BASKET!!! somebody introduce this girl to cake? I can't do everything. I'm a busy guy is hilarious and human beings are weird @AuthorNinaPerez @EllenMoschetto I don't know what they are? But I'd like to hear these jokes duck is snitching
Retweeted by Lamont PriceThey let Jimmer back in the league and I can't even get a text back is peanut butterI refuse lawd he comin
Retweeted by Lamont PriceThis is James Kendrick Felton'all got the jokes from here, right? nigga's on OUR side! I demand to know what he's protecting us from that's MORE fucked up than him??? @LaMottJackson 😂😂😂 @TookyMonster Excuse me?Reboot of "The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow" with Sonequa taking on the role of Ichabod Crane and Steven Yeun as, well,… them from WHAT??? sound I make when I take a satisfying sip of seltzer is in the top 5 reasons I will be single foreverImagine me buying a flatscreen tv for a dumb baby stole $122m from Facebook and Google by sending them random bills, which the companies dutifully paid…
Retweeted by Lamont Pricecan’t believe we live in a timeline where pornhub is commissioner gordon and jameela jamil is batman
Retweeted by Lamont PriceDon't put my fries in the sauce. That's my decision to make! Bring me DRY fries on a separate plate Thanks for com… than the tension at my house that one time my dad answered a call from his side chick but forgot his phone…
Retweeted by Lamont PriceBravo Pizza! showers must be DARK duck is snitching"Psst! Butts be growing" @PeterCipriani That face at the end. I wanna the kind of fun in my life that he was having in that one moment. Man
nobody: french ppl when they’re hungry:
Retweeted by Lamont PriceMaaaaaaaaaaan I'm HOWLING damn this one of the greatest movie scenes of all time is like in middle school when you finished your finals but still had to kick it around school for an extra week'all really talk about Tom Izzo with the kind of "he's a winner" reverence that expects me to forget that there ar… one of em is in Brighton and I dont find it because I never leave my house imma be PISSED is a trash take is why I avoid road games if I can help it 😂😂😂 dude: I KILLED THAT NURSE! Police: huh? White dude: I KILLED THAT NURSE! Police: can you please keep it do… @omgstephanie You damn right!This tweet is speaking to my soul is brilliant. Every time someone says "want" it speeds up 10%.
Retweeted by Lamont PriceI've decided I'm talking like Sam Elliott for the rest of the week"What's your name?" "Lamont" "LAMONT YOU BIG DUMMY!" "yes"!!! My cousin out here changing the game!!, white people who had faith in Mueller and feel like the system failed you; this is how black people feel all t…
Retweeted by Lamont PriceFlorida is thunderdome Negan you hated because of what he did to Glenn is the Negan you NEED now. Now you know why he had to be that w… with his best @RobGronkowski impression 😊😂
Retweeted by Lamont Price @DezDelvekio 😂😂😂🔥🔥🔥 @missgreyday This means I have messed up quite a bitWhen Negan goes after Alpha and The Whisperers it's gonna be the best face turn since Corporate Rock went after Sha… is next level savage and I’m scared.
Retweeted by Lamont Price @thurbancitygirl When she starts shaving her head next week you know it's onI like thighs. Thick ones
Retweeted by Lamont Price @LFordTravis Well there are zombies so ... @DaciaBoston I guess it was only a matter of time @ItsMeBriLee Oh man did we pay for all that happiness early in the episode whewLOL, you had me looking twice! #TheWalkingDead #DemDeadz
Retweeted by Lamont Price @tiffjaxon I looked like 5 times! 😂This made me laugh, thank you!
Retweeted by Lamont Price @asweetgrace You're very welcome @LPizzle More than three.
Retweeted by Lamont PriceHi (with 3 or 4 i’s) = hey you = smash
Retweeted by Lamont Price @JanetSnackson I KNEW it!$72.50. $77.50 if you consider weed drugs