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Lamont Price @LPizzle Somewhere in my head

Standup comedian. Licensed Bootyologist. Connect 4 and Super Mario Kart Champion. I have an afro and I'm great on clay. The King Of R&B

1,908 Following   4,259 Followers   173,669 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/23/09


This is stupid and marshmallows are stupid https://t.co/ORfp1TjrFNYo @LPizzle I see you on that flyer man. 🤜🤛 https://t.co/pFwMR7tkIM
Retweeted by Lamont PriceWE OUT HERE! 🙌🏿👊🏿 https://t.co/pmLfzkZRNJThese niggas really 1980s cartoon villains https://t.co/7rRkfBvj3bI hate Shawn Michaels but this is dope https://t.co/0iebMmzv7f @deveautrain @CityWineryBOS Oh why thank you 🙏🏿 @SerenaSkaii You can trust cookies. You really canThey let white dudes in suits do and say anything https://t.co/fhjct4Vi77 @deveautrain @CityWineryBOS Thank you! Now I just gotta get people to show up 😂"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, YOU'RE cool and fuck you! I'm out!" https://t.co/S0E3pvSNDsI promised a 4/20 announcement and I will deliver a 4/20 announcement! I'm doing a show at @CityWineryBOS on Sat, 4… https://t.co/4mVKq9sx7xYou know we light on troops when Pepper and Happy make the "MOUNT UP!" poster #AvengersEndgame https://t.co/O4c1cbXhXLWho we fighting, Tiff? *cracks knuckles* https://t.co/iXy4GLGviPOMG, @SLUTSAUCEKHLOE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! @AuthorNinaPerez Avengers: Oh Y'all Got This! @MBibs I don't understand human beings, famAvenge The Chillin' https://t.co/uHz9xC4kf3King Tut was stuntin' on em! https://t.co/Xq9GFzrx8gI'm fin https://t.co/47YMl9QA3XI've never had $7,000 in my life. This family EATING https://t.co/vEQfBU3IxB @theGregJohnson 😂😂😂I don't fuck with anybody with slander for Arya Stark. How DARE you??? Who ARE you??? Kneel before your faceless queenniggas really slandering arya.... how u don’t like arya..... even tywin liked arya...... tywin don’t even like his… https://t.co/cAzAcyhuN3
Retweeted by Lamont PriceBtw whoever it was that synced Stephen A Smith screaming up with H-Town's "Knockin' Boots" is a damn American hero"WE GOT A PROBLEM!" https://t.co/XTmU2qU2i8Look, I haven't had a woman interested in me for, well never in my life, and this girl just like me on Bumble. Cool… https://t.co/r7wrewX21GOh Paul. Stop making it so easy for them 😂 https://t.co/2xc8uCa91eGuys I'm gonna need you to take the reins on this 2019 stuff. I'm still bogged down in 1996 businessThis week has been 365 days longOk this is dope https://t.co/Ph19i85ry3Lol, what? https://t.co/eflMqOLvWbMy good friend Ato Clark said YEARS ago that Batman would never kill his enemies. Why? Job security https://t.co/YkRQkBSHyLDave Coulier wrote this https://t.co/tq7UuLmt2s
Retweeted by Lamont PriceI'm only listening to The Whispers all summer https://t.co/3K6vkxOwbQOk time to see what breakfast spots near me deliver because I don't feel like cooking and I have a monster craving… https://t.co/D2LmTMlJ6qDude waited his whole life to say that publicly https://t.co/2bfnUbF8hVDave Coulier wrote this https://t.co/tq7UuLmt2sTO THE WILMINGTON MARKET BASKET!!! https://t.co/QyBwudtdydWill somebody introduce this girl to cake? I can't do everything. I'm a busy guy https://t.co/eGRWPg3Xy2This is hilarious and human beings are weird https://t.co/roZWnoP53a @AuthorNinaPerez @EllenMoschetto I don't know what they are? But I'd like to hear these jokes https://t.co/XXLQ9C42lyThis duck is snitching https://t.co/S0E3pvSNDs
Retweeted by Lamont PriceThey let Jimmer back in the league and I can't even get a text back https://t.co/WaOLmngIgdJif is peanut butterI refuse https://t.co/FZpbHSnwYlOh lawd he comin https://t.co/tMvXwIHwbo
Retweeted by Lamont PriceThis is James Kendrick Felton https://t.co/KqoFYdHo8FY'all got the jokes from here, right? https://t.co/QOgsk1G18HTHIS nigga's on OUR side! I demand to know what he's protecting us from that's MORE fucked up than him??? https://t.co/RRph9xVEas @LaMottJackson 😂😂😂 @TookyMonster Excuse me?Reboot of "The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow" with Sonequa taking on the role of Ichabod Crane and Steven Yeun as, well,… https://t.co/xVy7cTXeJlProtecting them from WHAT??? https://t.co/RRph9xVEasThe sound I make when I take a satisfying sip of seltzer is in the top 5 reasons I will be single foreverImagine me buying a flatscreen tv for a dumb baby https://t.co/9Xt5p6JdZbMan stole $122m from Facebook and Google by sending them random bills, which the companies dutifully paid… https://t.co/TtowuxMDug
Retweeted by Lamont Pricecan’t believe we live in a timeline where pornhub is commissioner gordon and jameela jamil is batman https://t.co/x0eAPXMkhx
Retweeted by Lamont PriceDon't put my fries in the sauce. That's my decision to make! Bring me DRY fries on a separate plate Thanks for com… https://t.co/fOy1WaKKYLThicker than the tension at my house that one time my dad answered a call from his side chick but forgot his phone… https://t.co/7fKc4iINu0
Retweeted by Lamont PriceBravo Pizza! https://t.co/pRgbAJ53rlHer showers must be DARK https://t.co/f1B6d3OOSTThis duck is snitching https://t.co/S0E3pvSNDs"Psst! Butts be growing" https://t.co/lGGP7CNwtU @PeterCipriani That face at the end. I wanna the kind of fun in my life that he was having in that one moment. Man
3/26
2019
nobody: french ppl when they’re hungry: https://t.co/admaXAOj4G
Retweeted by Lamont PriceMaaaaaaaaaaan I'm HOWLING https://t.co/tfXg9MZlW3Gawd damn this one of the greatest movie scenes of all time https://t.co/OGkVQaQkjMThis is like in middle school when you finished your finals but still had to kick it around school for an extra week https://t.co/RMYFYaqCE0Y'all really talk about Tom Izzo with the kind of "he's a winner" reverence that expects me to forget that there ar… https://t.co/3qPp2PjMJoIf one of em is in Brighton and I dont find it because I never leave my house imma be PISSED https://t.co/pmWTglC3k5This is a trash take https://t.co/dBwhjlzoOPThis is why I avoid road games if I can help it 😂😂😂 https://t.co/BV3aGUTVVGWhite dude: I KILLED THAT NURSE! Police: huh? White dude: I KILLED THAT NURSE! Police: can you please keep it do… https://t.co/QYBqhwv6LE @omgstephanie You damn right!This tweet is speaking to my soul https://t.co/uXqSgkAZw6This is brilliant. Every time someone says "want" it speeds up 10%. https://t.co/SPrJoDA018
Retweeted by Lamont PriceI've decided I'm talking like Sam Elliott for the rest of the week"What's your name?" "Lamont" "LAMONT YOU BIG DUMMY!" "yes" https://t.co/TINdGVJb96Yooooooooo!!! My cousin out here changing the game!! https://t.co/mohYpfATR2Hey, white people who had faith in Mueller and feel like the system failed you; this is how black people feel all t… https://t.co/TvLGqV9O2U
Retweeted by Lamont PriceFlorida is thunderdome https://t.co/0NBVCYyA42The Negan you hated because of what he did to Glenn is the Negan you NEED now. Now you know why he had to be that w… https://t.co/bb77gxcdFoTommy with his best @RobGronkowski impression 😊😂 https://t.co/qENGJrZ76w
Retweeted by Lamont Price @DezDelvekio 😂😂😂🔥🔥🔥 @missgreyday This means I have messed up quite a bitWhen Negan goes after Alpha and The Whisperers it's gonna be the best face turn since Corporate Rock went after Sha… https://t.co/V5sNqRHvmLCarol is next level savage and I’m scared. https://t.co/2b5eFgXWvL
Retweeted by Lamont Price @thurbancitygirl When she starts shaving her head next week you know it's onI like thighs. Thick ones
Retweeted by Lamont Price @LFordTravis Well there are zombies so ... @DaciaBoston I guess it was only a matter of time @ItsMeBriLee Oh man did we pay for all that happiness early in the episode whewLOL, you had me looking twice! #TheWalkingDead #DemDeadz https://t.co/pp4X3wcsm6
Retweeted by Lamont Price @tiffjaxon I looked like 5 times! 😂This made me laugh, thank you! https://t.co/lNYd92YMfw
Retweeted by Lamont Price @asweetgrace You're very welcome @LPizzle More than three.
Retweeted by Lamont PriceHi (with 3 or 4 i’s) = hey you = smash https://t.co/pglAWojoRS
Retweeted by Lamont Price @JanetSnackson I KNEW it!$72.50. $77.50 if you consider weed drugs https://t.co/b9JL0HYxAk
3/25
2019

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