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Lamont Price @LPizzle Somewhere in my head

Standup comedian. Licensed Bootyologist. Connect 4 and Super Mario Kart Champion. I have an afro and I'm great on clay. The King Of R&B

1,879 Following   4,179 Followers   169,732 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/23/09


Y'all still fucking white dudes, huh? AightYo, where do I sign up to whoop this kid's ass? All his friends are invited https://t.co/TZzwCtfi77Whew https://t.co/Mr10THsLnTSaturday, March 2nd - https://t.co/vEKZwQryqR
Retweeted by Lamont PriceOptimus Prime. ‘Transformers: The Movie’ 1986 https://t.co/j5lYhq2fAH
Retweeted by Lamont Pricelife in a former Eastern Bloc prison where they languish to this day. No longer able to transform into a terror dog… https://t.co/EDcTBCrwLQthan a decade as commander of a top secret Czech military unit, "The Ghosts Of Prague", he and his unit were framed… https://t.co/sHbOUaWRgTGhostbusters 3 but about the remaining Ghostbusters' search for their long lost friend, Louis Tully, who fled New Y… https://t.co/X5jz082i4j @bnlfan_thunder It was a tough decision @lillvc Thank you. Glad you enjoyed! 🙏🏿Now I gotta eat a damn saladKD and Boogie mic’d up 😭 https://t.co/JJ7xMlMkQ7
Retweeted by Lamont PriceButt CHEEKSI just wrote a short plot for Ghostbusters 3 but I'm not gonna post because no one will read it. But it's doooooopeFrom the creators of "Tom And Jerry Kids" we give you "Baby Hitler"! Every Saturday morning after "Bobby's World" on Fox Kids!People hang this maniac's every word and I can't get a text? https://t.co/JcKz1O9UuASomebody come help me find my Chinese food menu @joshgondelman @DanCrohn I've never seen anyone look more comfy. Not comfortable. ComfyHi. I'm drunk. AMN @kylepriano Tough TOUGH omission @jimmydunncomedy He was a TOUGH out. I thought about him for a while, Jimmy
1/19
2019
@rudykranz They are all excellent cartoon cats but unfortunately I had to make some tough decisions @WaterChestnutII I only had room for 5 @EverettH Wilbur Theater 7:30 @Number1TheGreen No doubtTop 5 All Time Cartoon Cats Top Cat Heathcliff Tom Garfield Eek!
Retweeted by Lamont Price @normanblount This was in no particular orderIs he telling me to watch a movie called "Father-In-Law" at the end of this? Is he the producer? https://t.co/BJ7TFyFkFQ @michaelkingdumb Both cats dope as fuck tho @EverettH https://t.co/FyAGSctVnk @theGregJohnson Yes I do @demonrock Didnt make the cut. Tough decisions @michaelkingdumb I think you're mixing up Heathcliff and Garfield. But Heathcliff was the realest cat in the game for sure @jerkfaceynerd I don't know who he would replace on that list @rmdest Courageous Cat was tough for sure. I made some difficult choicesI get to tell jokes tonightHow did I miss this??? https://t.co/wlL3kxrDu0 @Number1TheGreen Great choice. I had to make some difficult decisions @swingdingaling @TookyMonster Eek! is all time. No way he's left off any cat list that I make @TookyMonster Had to make some tough choices. Garfield got in by the skin of his teethTop 5 All Time Cartoon Cats Top Cat Heathcliff Tom Garfield Eek!My stomach flirtsSaw Cary Grant trending and got nervous until I saw it was his birthday. I thought that nigga was undead. Phew https://t.co/EvDGCCVdZoCheck all of his basements https://t.co/25WaCaOyExI'm very drunk and I have show tomorrow night all the way at 7:30 o'clock286 Days Until #Halloween 🎃
Retweeted by Lamont PriceCan't wait for Buzzfeed's "15 Presidents That Didn't Commit Treason. Which One Are You?"I'm bout to eat all this tasty burgerI'm home and I'm druuuuuuunk. What's this about Buzzfeed???🐐 https://t.co/DPMPXx6ZQ4
Retweeted by Lamont PriceI am telling you different. There’s no such thing as “female rap.” It’s not a genre. ...and also stop saying “fe… https://t.co/bWmSNdieLs
Retweeted by Lamont PriceHere's another batch of killer TV commercials from the '80s and '90s, covering everything from Freddy's Nightmares… https://t.co/e41eiTgbWD
Retweeted by Lamont PriceThis is the type of content I demand https://t.co/lDlPmMBcbKTime to slang these jokesUntil my show I'm gonna be chillin at this dope ass videogame conference at Microsoft
1/18
2019
Tonight in Harvard Sq. 9pm. Free https://t.co/bbDZzjS0iaThey're fighting in THEIR house cuz that's their house https://t.co/7eAG2W4UkuThis is essentially what passed for Fan Fiction for New England Dads circa 1990 https://t.co/ckdWLThYvP
Retweeted by Lamont PriceWARNING: DISTASTEFUL “CLEAN” JOKE. @bigjayoakerson joins @iamjustinsilver & @comicmikev on #NoDisrespect DOWNLO… https://t.co/PImz9e4ZxZ
Retweeted by Lamont PriceSo John Wick 3 is happening. I'm seeing the fuck out of itTONIGHT. Promotions ‘No One Loves You’ Jan 25 on @ComedyCentral https://t.co/Da06yHWWdh
Retweeted by Lamont PriceI wish I could take back all them soft chuckles I gave those wack sketches Rudy Giuliani was in on SNL that time
Retweeted by Lamont PriceJames Earl Jones, Betty White and Benjamin Franklin all trending today. This Denzel GIF is gonna need a nap soon https://t.co/LymKNnrXc6Gotta say @HalloweenCounts keeps me goingSo close https://t.co/jHNRFzUOinWhy? Bag is secured. If you coach the Jets all you need is one 9-7 season and they'll be like "hey, you gave it a s… https://t.co/etKARQkdhEBack in the 90s we used to have heated debates in the back of class about who would play who if they ever made Marv… https://t.co/G18I3IObcM
Retweeted by Lamont PriceShout out to the top 5 boards in the world, cutting, checker, dart, stiff as a and back to the drawing.
Retweeted by Lamont PriceMy next show I'm gonna do two straight hours about how a funny name for a frog country singer would be Ribbit McEntire.
Retweeted by Lamont Pricethat time queen latifah asked arsenio hall if she could produce a surprise segment for his final show in 1994 and g… https://t.co/VEhi1TJmSK
Retweeted by Lamont PriceI like and RT this every time it's on my TL 🔥🔥🔥 https://t.co/FrRtcGxxMeD) Seek C https://t.co/9cv1U74eUjHBD https://t.co/hfzf32nxEq
Retweeted by Lamont PriceI have so many questions https://t.co/WbugeAGJDKDo I need special glasses to see what he sees? https://t.co/EOphLoAcRkBack in the 90s we used to have heated debates in the back of class about who would play who if they ever made Marv… https://t.co/G18I3IObcMLemon Lime Seltzer is like a Sprite that's not trying to kill you ☝🏿☝🏿☝🏿☝🏿☝🏿☝🏿☝🏿☝🏿☝🏿☝🏿☝🏿 Hey that's pretty good. L… https://t.co/BBjxJj06KlOk, yup, @slutsaucekhloe, I'm definitely laughing at that pic 😂😂😂It is time. Werewolf time https://t.co/k6Zqgy4CD7I'm tryna be a judge at this year's twerk OlympicsGuess who can't sleep?A Grift https://t.co/J16eVjJ18YRudy Giuliani always looks like he just heard what Rudy Giuliani said https://t.co/EC0JM8ji1j
Retweeted by Lamont PriceThe accuracy. I'm HOWLING! https://t.co/QW6AkQuDzVTop Cat is Top 5 all time cartoon cats idc idc idc https://t.co/5jnYsVdAjd"We must break him" https://t.co/FkNEsCM365Imagine not having lipsL-BoogensteinBasketball is basketballing tonightBe great if that gold reformed in rich people's stomachs, weighing em down so they can't chase me when I rob their… https://t.co/wO40QCTa1F @saraherib I didnt @ @saraherib saraheribCardi B and City Girls made an empowering Uncle Luke video 🔥🔥🔥So I'm a fan of City Girls now yessiree Bob I amKYRIE IRVING CALLED GAME https://t.co/EnHl7XQ7Tp
Retweeted by Lamont PriceWilt was eatin' https://t.co/KABBiOY5a7This is wild https://t.co/1flklGtESFGladiator https://t.co/gCARjGkdgy @joshgondelman Aaron Baynes MVPDid this radio show tonight and they sent me home with a whole bunch fruit snacks
1/17
2019

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